MWWT: Spaceman #1 pg03
barking_frog on Sept. 15, 2007
TheMidge28: I went back and forth on moving “Oakford”, but I'm leaning toward ‘leave it alone’. I really like that you drew my attention to your confusion during the scene change! That sort of thing is incredibly helpful to me – thanks!
DAJB: Thanks!
ShinGen: Great! I hope to hear what you think after the story's progressed a bit.
AshleyDread at 8:47AM, July 27, 2008
was the "its geting harder and harder to breathe" a refrence to maroon 5? at any rate I like it a lot :]
TheMidge28 at 11:40AM, Sept. 29, 2007
I actually missed the facial hair change all together...I was transfixed on the eyes for some reason...hmmm...I wonder...maybe the confusion is good...not sure since I am not the writer/artist but does the confusion add to the story? if not maybe moving it up may help...
barking_frog at 4:04AM, Sept. 29, 2007
"Did the scene change from a open field to this alleyway?" Aye, it did. I thought the facial hair would be enough to clue a reader in that time had passed, but I wonder if I should move the "Oakford" caption up from panel 3 into panel 1 to eliminate any possibility of confusion. I did originally write it that way, but then when I was laying down the lettering it "felt better" to put it down in the "zoom out" panel. Thoughts?
TheMidge28 at 1:22PM, Sept. 28, 2007
hmm...did the scene change from a open field to this alleyway? the illustration is well done
DAJB at 11:13PM, Sept. 16, 2007
Nice opening. Looking forward to more.
ShinGen at 6:48PM, Sept. 16, 2007
Wow. Really good start. I'm liking this a lot.