"dad" is supposed to be capitalized in panel 4.
Also in panel 5 it would have been better to have like a "CRASH!" sound effect and have the readers infer what happened. "Door smashes open" isn't a sound effect. That's a narration, which wasn't done properly.
Everything else is fine with this page.
SupahWolf at 12:50PM, Dec. 19, 2012
Escuse me for quoting Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series Bonds Beyond Time, but WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONES HAIR?!
locoroco1 at 2:14PM, June 12, 2011
Also, panel six should say they're, not there.
jameswolf100 at 1:35PM, June 12, 2011
Thanx for the advice ^^
Zoom the Hedgehog at 12:25PM, June 12, 2011
"dad" is supposed to be capitalized in panel 4. Also in panel 5 it would have been better to have like a "CRASH!" sound effect and have the readers infer what happened. "Door smashes open" isn't a sound effect. That's a narration, which wasn't done properly. Everything else is fine with this page.