webcomics heh on April 2, 2009
Still based on a true story. So here I am at the check-out with my plumbing supplies and le petite bourgeoise wage slave is ringing me up with a look on her face all like “I'd rather be at work than at home*” which I guess worked out pretty good for her today because she's getting some face time with your's truly.**
So finally after scanning my items at a glacial pace that would make other arctic bourne chunks of ice look like Jesse Owens hopped up on meth with a jet rocket turbine engine strapped to his ass she looks up and says to me, “How do you want to pay for that?” So I bust out the classy Discover plastic*** and she says… The card is denied.
DENIED!? No no no no no no no… YOU do not deny ME. I DENY YOU. Do you know WHO I AM? I was ready to bust out some industrial strength weapons grade slams on register number three but I think it's safe to say my quality material would have gone waaaaaay over her head. Why waste the good stuff? It'd be like flushing a hundred dollar bill down the toilet so I let my actions speak louder than my words and mashed a ball of epoxy putty onto the barcode scanner.
So congratulations Lowes, you'll be getting my business from now on. And Home Depot, if you can't handle me then you better not scandal me.
*KIDS am I right?
**Hey Yolanda. YOU'RE WELCOME.
***D-CARD IN THE HOUSE YO.
the_cluck at 5:20AM, Feb. 5, 2012
bro i hear ya. the other day, i was chatting it up with some ho at tractor supply and she gave me her number, only it turned out to be the local dairy queen. well i'm not having that. so i called up the manager and gave him such a verbal smackdown that 400 years from now, his descendants will still be telling stories about it in awed whispers around the campfire. suffice it to say that the bitches at lowe's know their place, added 3 notches to my belt in the last week alone.
dysfunctional at 6:18AM, Oct. 16, 2009
F the home depot!
Hizke at 12:17AM, May 26, 2009
aha you are fantastic.
Kristen Gudsnuk at 6:15PM, April 11, 2009
wow, I'm noticing a pattern :0
machinehead at 5:32PM, April 3, 2009
Ha ha that's a great story and comic.
Saillestraife at 8:52AM, April 3, 2009
WTF best rant evar