webcomics heh on April 2, 2009
Still based on a true story. So here I am at the check-out with my plumbing supplies and le petite bourgeoise wage slave is ringing me up with a look on her face all like “I'd rather be at work than at home*” which I guess worked out pretty good for her today because she's getting some face time with your's truly.**
So finally after scanning my items at a glacial pace that would make other arctic bourne chunks of ice look like Jesse Owens hopped up on meth with a jet rocket turbine engine strapped to his ass she looks up and says to me, “How do you want to pay for that?” So I bust out the classy Discover plastic*** and she says… The card is denied.
DENIED!? No no no no no no no… YOU do not deny ME. I DENY YOU. Do you know WHO I AM? I was ready to bust out some industrial strength weapons grade slams on register number three but I think it's safe to say my quality material would have gone waaaaaay over her head. Why waste the good stuff? It'd be like flushing a hundred dollar bill down the toilet so I let my actions speak louder than my words and mashed a ball of epoxy putty onto the barcode scanner.
So congratulations Lowes, you'll be getting my business from now on. And Home Depot, if you can't handle me then you better not scandal me.
*KIDS am I right?
**Hey Yolanda. YOU'RE WELCOME.
***D-CARD IN THE HOUSE YO.