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HOW would you survive a ZOMBIE invasion?
bravo1102 at 11:51PM, March 18, 2009
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ozoneocean
Without stompy boots, I'll be unable to kick in doors and windows to do the looting. It's a vicious circle -_-

Get the Hessian Hussar boots with tassels and the screw in spurs. They're great for stomping, really fashionable and go perfectly with your sword, and their sharp toe makes them good for kicking. And cavalry spurs are wonderous things (not western spurs, these you can run around with)

Deaf? I lost one third of my low level hearing. And that was with hearing protection. :)

Mechanics greet tankers by nodding and mouthing words. Then mouthing them again, then again, and finally yelling “OF COURSE YOU CAN”T HEAR ME! YOU'RE A GODDAMN TANKER! :) Remember solid rubber is very dense and tankers have that track block for a brain (awash in beer, oil, grease and diesel fuel)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:33AM
ozoneocean at 5:08AM, March 20, 2009
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His hearing damage is… I dunno, I'm not him. :)
Hahaha, I just realised the other day that his unit was basically the modern equivalent of the Hussar - He was in the “10th light horse”… By his day that was driving around in APCs (M113 I think), Saracens, Ferrets and things.
They were too stupid to wear ear protection back then. He still has the ones he used for target shooting though (did it competitively over long ranges). They are fricken useless.

I just had a look at those screw in spurs. SO nifty!
http://www.messdress.com/shopscr578.html

That style of boot reminds me a little of the Superman style… But it looks good on this of veteran:

 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Aurora Moon at 8:59AM, March 20, 2009
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Hmm. my plan for surviving an zombie invasion is a fairly simple one… in fact I even played though this plan in one of my dreams.. which I've already shared in another thread.

Basically I'd do the following:

1)Dress appropriately for an zombie invasion, if I can. No sense in wearing shorts or some other clothes where your tender flesh is exposed, leaving you ripe to infection or even for them to feast on you easily. I'd probably wear my pads, my helmet, my arm guards, etc. Under all the armor pads I wear thick clothing, even if it's summer time when it happens. I'd rather sweat like a pig than for their teeth and hands to be able to bite/tear though my clothing or even my pads.

2)Steal a fast vehicle since I don't own one.

3)arm myself with my exotic weapons collection to start with from my own home. However since half of them are only actual weapons while the rest are more showy, I would just use them to start off with until I would reach some sort of gun store. I get the feeling that I'd use the vehicle I stole more as an weapon than I would actually use the swords until I got the guns. (by running down the zombies) but hey you never know. Swords and stuff are handy to have, but I'd feel more comfortable with long-range weapons so that I can kill them before they get too close for comfort.

4)pack/loot all the non-perishable foods and other goods that can last a long time into small carts that I have so that they're easy to transport while I run and stuff… no carrying heavy boxes of food into cars and stuff… during an zombie attack that would be suicidal. Those same carts are easy to push/lift into some car types with one hand quickly too. this way I don't die of hunger on long trips.

5) once I got my emergency reserves and have sufficiently armed myself for the long run I find other simlar genre-savvy people, and team up with them. Maybe bring my dog along and some other dogs too, if possible. After all, dogs make excellent guard animals, and they can often detect danger coming before humans can even see or hear it.

4) After I've collected my little band of allies and guard animals that I can fit into my stolen vehicle–(I'm thinking I'd prefer an bus… since those types of vehicles are a little bit more armored than the normal cars… and plus with it's large sizes they can basically plow almost anything.)–We all drive off to some military bunker… since how there's a lot of army reserves around here in North Dakota. as I recall they even have an fort around here with underground rooms in case of bombings.
So if the military decided to go with the “bomb the hell out of the infected towns” route, I'd be safe there if the army men would let me and my allies in.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
3Eoclock at 8:03AM, March 21, 2009
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I'd become a leech and attach myself to Tony Jaa.
SHH, I'm sleeping.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:44AM
Custard Trout at 8:21AM, March 21, 2009
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Aurora Moon
1)Dress appropriately for an zombie invasion, if I can. No sense in wearing shorts or some other clothes where your tender flesh is exposed, leaving you ripe to infection or even for them to feast on you easily. I'd probably wear my pads, my helmet, my arm guards, etc. Under all the armor pads I wear thick clothing, even if it's summer time when it happens. I'd rather sweat like a pig than for their teeth and hands to be able to bite/tear though my clothing or even my pads.

Wouldn't you get tired faster though? Nothing spells doom in a zombie invasion like not being able to move quickly.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:01PM
Aurora Moon at 5:21AM, March 22, 2009
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I have those protective pads that's pretty easy to run in.

as for thick clothing… well… I've actually worn thick fur leopard jackets on a sweltering hot summer's day without any problems. I never really got tired at all. So something like an thick sweater under my pads wouldn't be a problem at all.

I've also figured ways to pace myself while running so that I don't wear myself out fast. After all, most athletes tend to run a certain way to train themselves so that they don't wear out as fast. in fact this page describes it… it's a way to pace yourself while still running quickly and at building up long haul endurance.

http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2008/02/25/serena_williams_joins_nike_sport

and for armor… well, I have the larrocse body pads and stuff… they're pretty thick, tough but lighter than other sports armor out there.

http://www.sportsextra.net/catalog/bc6950b8-28f0-45e1-9b28-2f820d25d606.aspx


I'd say the stuff in the catalogs here looks like they could easily withstand any Zombie attack. the pads are simlar to what I have… I even have the chest guards too… since how I used to be an goalie in that type of sport for a short while.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
ozoneocean at 7:24AM, March 22, 2009
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You're right Aurora. That protection is made for free movement, speed, heat and all the rest, you'd be fine. And if modern soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan can trudge around in all that stuff they wear, I'm sure Aurora would be ok in lighter stuff. Stupid zombies wouldn't stand a chance. :)

Some of that padding is pretty funky.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
seventy2 at 9:28AM, March 22, 2009
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ozoneocean
And if modern soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan can trudge around in all that stuff they wear, I'm sure Aurora would be ok in lighter stuff. Stupid zombies wouldn't stand a chance. :)

but the soldiers in marines in those places are training near year round, while wearing that stuff. pretty much only the air force doesnt give it's people body armor before they leave.

but the lacross pads are ingenius.

if the infection wasnt localized, i'd find a way to join up with aurora's group.
facara
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last edited on July 14, 2011 3:29PM
Biskit Comics at 11:45AM, March 22, 2009
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I'd dump hot chocolate in a pit of mines, then, when they come, i'll drink some myself!
Bizkit + Comics = DAMN
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:22AM
tiffawolf at 2:40AM, March 24, 2009
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hmm.. call up leon s kennedy and chris redfeild,hahahahaha
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:30PM
Shadow99 at 3:46PM, Sept. 16, 2010
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Dude. If I were to go out in front of a ton of zombies. I would make a strong Wall. place Mines around the house 20 yards away from the house and circle it. I would buy a 6 shooter.( They use less ammo and they are great for headshots I would go to a cheap and local store and buy food. If I run out of ammo. I can use the neat bamboo , stick(4 feet) That I own, and if all fails. Will you please show us a punch on that zombie chuck norris? Chuck norris: fine.
DSCV. Bet you don't know what it means! Read coconut Voltage
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:32PM
TheShah at 8:11AM, Sept. 22, 2010
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Smear zombie guts all over me to mask my ‘brain’ smell, practise a steady monotonous groan, tattered clothing, munch on brain every now and then in unavoidable circumstances.

And BOOM!
I get to roam around and do whatever the fuck I want.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
Aurora Moon at 6:39PM, Sept. 25, 2010
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TheShah
Smear zombie guts all over me to mask my ‘brain’ smell, practise a steady monotonous groan, tattered clothing, munch on brain every now and then in unavoidable circumstances.

And BOOM!
I get to roam around and do whatever the fuck I want.

until somebody comes along, mistakes you for a zombie and blows your brains out. oh snap.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
bravo1102 at 8:22PM, Sept. 25, 2010
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Sic the garden gnomes on the zombies, pull up a lawn chair, make some barbecue and watch.



http://www.howtosurviveagardengnomeattack.com/
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:34AM
Futon at 7:50AM, Oct. 1, 2010
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I wouldn't.

But I'll be damned if I'd let ‘em get me easy. I’d propably get some survival-gear (a good knife, a hunting bow, tools for making fire, sufficient amounts of rope or cordura, etc.), camo, if possible, a ghillie-suit, and head for the wilderness. Hide and wait it out.

I'm not much of an outdoors-person, but the army has taught me enough to get by in the woods for a while.


#56 in Comic Book/Story #73 Overall
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:32PM
ayesinback at 8:46AM, Oct. 7, 2010
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I've actually been thinking about this *shakes head at self*

I don't have all the details, like the right glass tubing that would explode on contact but wouldn't break in my utility belt, but the thinking is that I'd have cartridges/grenades of hydrochloric acid on me at all times to launch into any zombie faces that get too close.

Haven't seen much about corrosive acids in the zombie literature. Maybe trial and error have found them ineffective . . .
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
ozoneocean at 7:31AM, Oct. 9, 2010
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ayesinback
I've actually been thinking about this *shakes head at self*

I don't have all the details, like the right glass tubing that would explode on contact but wouldn't break in my utility belt, but the thinking is that I'd have cartridges/grenades of hydrochloric acid on me at all times to launch into any zombie faces that get too close.

Haven't seen much about corrosive acids in the zombie literature. Maybe trial and error have found them ineffective . . .
Acid wouldn't be that great I think.
-It's very dangerous to your own health, since it splashes. It could splash on you. The glass containers could also rupture while you're carrying them…
-Acid is horrible against normal humans because it burns the flesh, but against zombies that doesn't matter so much because they don't care about pain.
-Also, could you get acid that was strong enough to speedily do enough damage to the skull that you kill the zombie? Or even to its limbs in order to incapacitate it? I'm not so sure… Maybe you could burn through a lot of the limb muscle quickly enough to make one fall over, but I think most acid takes a while to dissolve bone. Maybe hydrofluoric acid would be good for that, although that's pretty much fatal if it gets on you instead.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:37PM
bravo1102 at 1:43PM, Oct. 9, 2010
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ozoneocean
ayesinback
I've actually been thinking about this *shakes head at self*

I don't have all the details, like the right glass tubing that would explode on contact but wouldn't break in my utility belt, but the thinking is that I'd have cartridges/grenades of hydrochloric acid on me at all times to launch into any zombie faces that get too close.

Haven't seen much about corrosive acids in the zombie literature. Maybe trial and error have found them ineffective . . .
Acid wouldn't be that great I think.
-It's very dangerous to your own health, since it splashes. It could splash on you. The glass containers could also rupture while you're carrying them…
-Acid is horrible against normal humans because it burns the flesh, but against zombies that doesn't matter so much because they don't care about pain.
-Also, could you get acid that was strong enough to speedily do enough damage to the skull that you kill the zombie? Or even to its limbs in order to incapacitate it? I'm not so sure… Maybe you could burn through a lot of the limb muscle quickly enough to make one fall over, but I think most acid takes a while to dissolve bone. Maybe hydrofluoric acid would be good for that, although that's pretty much fatal if it gets on you instead.

So we're pretty much back to head shots with hollow point bullets and a good calibrated scope.
Figure that a large part of acid's damage is pain. Zombies don't feel pain so they'd keep shuffling along with the acid burning. You need stopping power. Something tht if it hits them even if you miss the head, delays them so you can get the head shot.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:34AM
ozoneocean at 8:14PM, Oct. 9, 2010
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bravo1102
So we're pretty much back to head shots with hollow point bullets and a good calibrated scope.
Figure that a large part of acid's damage is pain. Zombies don't feel pain so they'd keep shuffling along with the acid burning. You need stopping power. Something tht if it hits them even if you miss the head, delays them so you can get the head shot.
I don't know all that much about guns, but I think three that would be good to have would be:

1. A semi-automatic pistol (9mm?) with a few magazines as an emergency weapon that you could draw fast and use very easily at close range.

2. A pump action shotgun (short), or a sawn off double barrel shotgun. They're quite powerful and very effective at short to medium range. Good for getting out of a zombie melee situation.

3. A small, light, high power 30cal hunting or sniper rifle with a good scope for medium to long range shooting when you've got the time to choose targets properly.

Ammunition for all those are plentiful.

More exotic guns are great but many are too heavy, big, awkward and loud to be practical for this scenario (50 cal Barrett, desert eagle, magnum…), or just eat up ammunition at an unsustainable rate (any machine gun, sub machine gun, or assault rifle).
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:37PM
handyhippie65 at 8:27PM, Oct. 28, 2010
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i already live on a farm in the country, and am definitely well armed. an assault rifle, and a 12 gauge pump would be plenty though. so a good fence and a couple more cases of surplus ammo, and i'm good. don't forget, only head shots count! the zombieland rules seem to work pretty well. i like ozoneoacean's death machine idea. like a bug zapper on steroids! lol! i was a driver/gunner on an m60a3 tank in the 80's, and it would be ok till you throw a track. i once spent 36 hours sraight, working to dig out, and repair my tank. it ain't like changing a flat on your beatermobile!
uhhh…(tap,tap,tap) is this thing on? hey does it look like i'm talking to a bunch of robot penises?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:42PM
Doodstormer at 8:46PM, Oct. 28, 2010
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I live in the middle of the woods with only about a dozen or so living beings around within a 30-mile radius. I wouldn't even notice something was wrong until my internet stopped working. And if they got zombified there's at least 4 guns in this house and far more than enough ammo to bring down whatever stumbled its way through the trees and rocks and hills and ditches and hungry dogs that would no-doubt be released into the wild.

But supposing that there was an angry mob of lumberjacks that decided the presence of trees nearby had taunted them long enough and that they were going to bring them down zombie virus or not, and were then subsequently infected and zombified, I do have a plan.

I would armor up a semi-truck and go on an epic, movie-style rampage until I reached Northern Canada, where nobody lives anyway. I would then work on converting the truck into a house-boat, and I would spend the rest of my days sailing around Greenland and eating fish. Every apocalypse needs a ranting madman anyway.

And there'd be a big cowpusher welded to the front of the truck so don't even bother telling me about the crowded roads. A semi has enough muscle to shove a bunch of minivans and campers out of the way.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:13PM
Adariel at 6:55AM, Oct. 29, 2010
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I shall cower behind the superior zombie fighting abilities of these plants!



don't know the plants vs zombies game? you're screwed.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:45AM
itsjustaar at 12:54AM, Dec. 13, 2010
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I actually began working on a Roger Rabbit-themed zombie comic a year back, but it kinda died (lolpun) because of how slow I got. I'm in the process of redoing it once I get far with my new one.

As for a real zombie invasion, heh… I'd imagine my situation to play out like both versions of ‘Dawn of the Dead’, except Blades lives.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Evil_Hare at 8:34AM, Jan. 2, 2011
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I'd hit the gun shop for a shotgun, pistols, and ammo… then, I'd do the following:

1. Steal a pickup truck
2. Get food in massive quantities
3. Raid the garden store for seeds etc
4. Raid the local pet store for rabbits… tasty rabbits
5. Hole up in the top floor of a tall building, grow food on the roof.


One should also rescue some hotties.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:24PM
KomradeDave at 3:26PM, Jan. 2, 2011
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For head crushing melee power, I find that a field hockey stick has a great swing to it. You get the perfect balance of power and form.
The main plan involves getting the hell away from the coast. Population density and infections go hand in hand, so a less populated area would be a must.
More than likely it wouldn't be the zombies you even needed to worry about, it would be the other survivors. I would probably get a few of my burlier chums together with our firearms, protecting each other as a unit. Then we jack a truck of tobacco products and start dealing.
Everyone has something and everyone needs something.
Handshakes and mustaches are the only ways to know how much you can truly trust a man.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM
Mr Kaos at 12:04PM, Jan. 9, 2011
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Guns? GUNS? you didn't read the book of Max Brooks uh? UH?
Use anything handheld weapons like axes, swords or anything that doesn't need ammo.
In here we don't have guns so we have to use slegdehammers, axes, baseball bats etc. the important thing of all the weapons your brain.
Be creative! no guns? then try to create traps, weapons and etc from the daily thing we use every day. you got a flametorcher? then change it into a flamethrower. it might not kill Zombies but it will buy you time to escape. to fight zombies.. are foolish especially if you are alone and thereby a easy snack for zombies.

but i think i would be a zombie snack faster than you can say “holy Sh*t”
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:07PM
KomradeDave at 7:18PM, Jan. 9, 2011
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The guns aren't for the zombies, Kaos, the guns are for striking down your fellow man when he decides what's yours is his.

People that plan on raiding a gun shop needs to realize that the gun shop is going to be crowded, and there are going to be people WAY more willing to pull the trigger on you than you will be on them. It will be a game of survival against the living, not the undead.
Handshakes and mustaches are the only ways to know how much you can truly trust a man.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM
Mr Kaos at 1:09AM, Jan. 10, 2011
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then there will be a tiny bit problem in Europe. we do have a tight weapon law so guns are not common in here.
We don't extacly have gun stores in here. in fact i never did see one in my entire life expect in movies.
So i guess we will beat each other to death then or use the cars as a weapon instead.

helping people out are better than stealing from them. so i am going to do that. at least i won't die a cruel dead as assholes. (yeah i did watch too many horrormovies. xD)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:07PM
ozoneocean at 7:55AM, Jan. 10, 2011
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Mr Kaos
helping people out are better than stealing from them
That's a good point. Organising people into communities is the best way to go. You can defend against malicious groups easier that way. I think that's something that both you and KomradeDave are heading towards.

And ultimately the groups that help the most rather than prey on them will be strongest because they'll grow larger and more powerful as they gather more willing groups into them. Groups that only prey on others will be isolated, eventually die out, become eradicated, or forced to amalgamate in the end.






soooooo, your best weapon is your friend. :)

(don't listen to me, I'm already a zombie)
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:37PM
KomradeDave at 12:35PM, Jan. 10, 2011
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ozoneocean
soooooo, your best weapon is your friend. :)


That's why you should always have a friend small enough that you can pick them up and swing them around, should the need arise.
Handshakes and mustaches are the only ways to know how much you can truly trust a man.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM

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