Debate and Discussion

Age and Marriage
Memmy at 9:32AM, Jan. 17, 2008
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My great uncle once said to me, “Marriage is made in Heaven, but commitment takes place on Earth.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:59PM
kyupol at 9:42AM, Jan. 17, 2008
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It suddenly hit me yesterday, im turning 27 in a couple of weeks. A good majority of my friends are getting married or have kids already. This getting hitched and all itch hasn't struck me yet and i was thinking, “is there something wrong with me? or are my circle of friends suffering from a wedding frenzy?”.


Dont worry about age.

And dont cave in to pressure from those people around you who pressure you into marriage.

Marriage is not a decision you should do because of pressure of people around you. Marriage has to be a very very educated decision. Do your research, search for the truth. Do not jump into it because so and so said so or else its a decision you will regret FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Think about it.

There is nothing wrong with you if you arent hitched yet.

Dont think of it as a negative thing. Think of the positives about not getting hitched:

1) You keep more of your cash to yourself

2) There is nobody to nag and bitch about what kind of decorations you wanna put in your house/apartment. Or what clothes to wear or what places to go or what car to drive, etc. etc. etc.

3) It is hi maintenance to take care of kids these days. More kids equals more mouths to feed, getting a bigger car, getting a bigger house/apartment. And bigger things equals more $$$.

4) You have more time to hangout with your friends or do your hobbies… to make yourself grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

With that premise, id like to survey you guys (so i could feel better/worse whichever), how old are you now and are you married? If Yes, at what age did you get married? If No, at what age do you think you'd be or do you plan on not getting hitched at all?

As of now I dont plan on getting hitched. That may change in the future… and if ever I get hitched and raise a family, I'd do it in the Philippines.

I arrived at that conclusion because of my own independent research and thinking hard about it. I dont wanna influence your decision by feeding you ‘bullshit’ ideas. YOU do your own independent research and hopefully you make an educated decision.

Good luck, man. :)
NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
keithmccleary at 9:44AM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Funny - I just turned 28 and at least three-quarters of my friends got married last year. I think they're all insane. I've been with my girlfriend for four years but I'm not ready for marriage yet. I mean what are we, Quakers?
Now updating without interruption, starting 2/16.

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:14PM
ShadowsMyst at 11:20AM, Jan. 17, 2008
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I'm 30, and I've been with my now finace for over 13 years before we decided to finally get married. ( we aren't yet, but we will in the next year or so) For us, its a formality. Its a formalizing of our partnership for the convenience of home ownership, insurance, and taxes. It also satisfies some family pressures (mostly mine.. unfortunately) and really for us, its just paper. I really do expect that it nothing will change in our relationship. We already behave like a married couple.

We made our commitment to each other a long time ago, this is just a formality to make navigating adult life paperwork and trying to explain our relationship easier.

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last edited on July 14, 2011 3:32PM
lastcall at 11:56AM, Jan. 17, 2008
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We made our commitment to each other a long time ago, this is just a formality to make navigating adult life paperwork and trying to explain our relationship easier.

Yup. That's why my husband and I went to the courthouse. We felt like we were married as soon as we met each other, so we just went to the courthouse and filled out all the paperwork so we could stop confusing people. lol!

Last name changes for women are a bitch, though. It must have taken me months to go through all of that crap. Social security, DMV, all the places I receive bills from….ugh. But it was worth it; I was proud to have his last name.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:27PM
Red Slayer at 12:25PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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I am 21 years old and i don't plan to marry.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:03PM
lba at 12:39PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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I'm 19 and I'm not getting married any time soon. I have been engaged once, but that was after 3 1/2 years of solidly being together and I was still planning on just being engaged for another 4 or 5 years at least. I more saw giving her a ring as a symbol of the fact that our relationship was steady and not going anywhere any time soon. Now I'm glad I didn't move any faster than I did.

As of current I'm back to being single and I'm perfectly content to stay that way for a good while. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I can't date or hang out and in a lot of ways it's made it easier for me to meet people and develop good friendships.

I won't even consider marriage until after graduation. Even then I think I'd need my time to be alone and adventure or wander. I'm a pretty singular kind of person in that I need a day or two every month or so to just be alone and do my thing. So I'm not figuring on making any really concrete steps until at least 25 or 26 and even then I don't see myself getting married quickly. I'd much prefer to take things slow.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:28PM
Aurora Moon at 12:46PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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I think many “singles” are just defensive. When you visit your parents at 22 years old and hear from every neighbor and cashier, “Ya mean ya ain't married yet?” You become a little fed up. (“Nope. I'm working on my masters degree.” ) I don't think it makes me less “grown up” either. Honestly, a boyfriend very likely would have gotten in the way, or, at the very least, seriously complicated things. I don't regret “missing out” on the whole dating thing in high school and college. I definitely want to be able to stand on my own feet before I even think about that stuff. Too many women (in my region) get married instead of finding a good job. I think that that is a very bad (and dangerous) approach to life.

I also think that marriage isn't really a life goal – at least not the way I was raised. (And I wasn't raised “anti-marriage.” My parents are going nearly 30 years strong on theirs.) If you meet that person, then get married. It can be great. But don't stick it up on your life's to-do list. Don't say “I *must* be married before a certain age.” It just doesn't work out well.

That's how I feel too. =)
Very well said.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
LoveandGuns at 12:49PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Well, I'm still too young to think about marriage just yet (17 lol), but I have considered that most likely one day I'll end up married and with kids. Yet, right now I'm not even worried about the bridge that probably won't be crossed for a long time from now.

Hopefully.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:46PM
TheMidge28 at 3:29PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Memmy
My great uncle once said to me, “Marriage is made in Heaven, but commitment takes place on Earth.”

wise words.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:23PM
CharleyHorse at 4:12PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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There's more than one issue at play in this thread. I'm going to address the marriage concept itself first. Why should you get married if you intend to spend the rest of your life with one person, managing a home and possibly a family together? Why should you do this if you are not particularly religious, that is?

Oh ho! Marriage is important in the proposal of lifetime commitment because it makes the relationship official and officially serious. There are both social and legal states and consequences in marriage, and their mere presence can sometimes help a couple get through emotionally rocky times. Oh . . . and those rocky times will occur sooner or later.

Knowing that you have to go through a mind numbing and emotionally painful process to end a marriage does make a difference. You are far, far less likely to climb upon your emotional high horse at some point and just permanently walk out on your spouse than you would be tempted to do - and the temptation would probably be there - if it were NOT an officially recognized, legal relationship. Marriage encourages people to work out their problems as a couple. Not that all do, but there you have it. That's the practical reason why marriage is important. The emotional and spiritual reasons probably do not need an explanation.

Now I speak of someone who was a dedicated and cynical bachelor at age thirty. I didn't really believe that love existed. I certainly had no intention of ever getting married! Then I met and fell in love with the future Mrs. CharleyHorse. My emotional grounding was flung to the winds and I fell hard! Ultimately I was the one that wanted to solidify our relationship through marriage, and now, twenty years later, I am still very much pro-marriage and a believer in love.

Sometimes I think there is a god of irony whose hobby it is to mess with my mind. Here's a fellow pontificating a quite convincing thesis that love is just an illusion? Whammo! Deal with this then sucker! Here's what real love feels like. Oh, and those are your cynical feet walking about six inches above the ground, walking on air. Now deal with it!

Love is great and so is marriage, but you need to be certain first. In retrospect I'm quite glad that neither ‘happened’ to me until I was thirty. Neither happened until I was utterly capable of comparing the real thing ‘love’ to memories of infatuation and mere lust. Neither happened until I could separate fantasy romanticism from actual reality. Most first marriages end in divorce because the people involved are simply too young; i.e. immature. I think it's better to wait until you absolutely KNOW.

But then, to each his or her own, eh?

last edited on July 14, 2011 11:40AM
Croi Dhubh at 7:59PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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What's the point of marriage anymore?
This is another HUGE thing that prevents me from wanting to get married. What's the point in me getting married? Nothing will change except the female will be there CONSTANTLY.

There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

That's been my experience with most women, save for two, that I've dated. The last one wanted to be a teacher, and I couldn't have been more happy about her decision to do so and kept pushing her to focus on that, but I guess she decided that I wasn't good enough. The other one ran her own business making jewelry, but it was long distance and so it didn't work.

Come to think of it…there's a third, but I don't know where that one would lead, and I have huge things to take into consideration with her, and I doubt it'd be worth it. She seems to think otherwise, however.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:54AM
mlai at 8:54PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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In retrospect I'm quite glad that neither ‘happened’ to me until I was thirty. Neither happened until I was utterly capable of comparing the real thing ‘love’ to memories of infatuation and mere lust. Neither happened until I could separate fantasy romanticism from actual reality. Most first marriages end in divorce because the people involved are simply too young; i.e. immature.
Them's wise words.

As for the “Oh I don't believe in love but here comes Cupid's arrow stickin' me ever so deeply…” Well sht, don't think that's so rare. For some ppl, love's an unwelcome tempest in an otherwise ordered and calm port. You just got stinkin' lucky. Much of the time, someone's liable to get ambushed the way you got ambushed, only to come to a dark result despite their own gleaming qualifications. And then the cry to heaven would be "W! T! F!!?? Cut me a break you malicious sonuvabitch!"

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
CoyoteLongshot at 9:13PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Seems to me, from all the replies, the general consensus is that there's three things you should have before getting married.

- A steady source of income, meaning a stable job. I'm in college, and I don't care if tomorrow I meet a girl and know right then and there I want to spend the rest of life with her, she's just gonna have to wait a few years. Getting married before you're out of college seems awfully risky. I mean, wherever your job ends up calling you after school might not be somewhere she'll want to go, especially if she already has her own job set up, and also the financial issue. In college you're not making money, you're paying it. Maybe once you're ready to buy a house, but not before.

- A strong commitment. I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but divorce is really expensive. My parents were dating for six years before deciding to get married, and they're very much in love to this day, but these days I'm noticing a lot of people rushing into marriage before they really know each other. I mean REALLY know each other. If you can live comfortably together for a while, that's a pretty good indicator… I guess.

-A readiness to settle down somewhere. Life with a kid is much more limited than the single life, you can't move all the time, you can't go out partying as much (I suppose you could, but that would just be irresponsible parenting), and of course you can't mess around with other people (In which case it would just be irresponsible spousing). Just sit down and think really hard: Are you ready to put most of your time into your family?

Now I don't want to sound like I'm pretending to be an expert (Like I said, I'm still in college, only 20) But I know that if I even so much as questioned one of these three things, I wouldn't be ready. And I agree that it's not something to do just because everyone's doing it. That's quite silly. I don't see myself getting married for quite some time, maybe ever, and I don't think you should do it if you don't want to. :)
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:47AM
keithmccleary at 9:28PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Croi Dhubh
This is another HUGE thing that prevents me from wanting to get married. What's the point in me getting married? Nothing will change except the female will be there CONSTANTLY.

There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

Wait, this was sarcastic, right? I mean…right?
Now updating without interruption, starting 2/16.

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:14PM
Aurora Moon at 9:42PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Croi Dhubh
This is another HUGE thing that prevents me from wanting to get married. What's the point in me getting married? Nothing will change except the female will be there CONSTANTLY.

There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

Wait, this was sarcastic, right? I mean…right?

I was wondering that too.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
kyupol at 9:53PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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Croi Dhubh
This is another HUGE thing that prevents me from wanting to get married. What's the point in me getting married? Nothing will change except the female will be there CONSTANTLY.

There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

Wait, this was sarcastic, right? I mean…right?

I was wondering that too.

It all boils down to the New World Order conspiracy to reduce the world population by cultivating a culture of hatred. Make man and woman hate each other. By attacking the family, the NWO plan comes into fruition.

lol!
NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
Aurora Moon at 11:41PM, Jan. 17, 2008
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kyupol
It all boils down to the New World Order conspiracy to reduce the world population by cultivating a culture of hatred. Make man and woman hate each other. By attacking the family, the NWO plan comes into fruition.

lol!

Fucking computer restarted on it own while I was typing this message…now I have to fucking type it over. Jeez.

As I was saying–while Kypol seems to be having too much fun playing the conspiracy nut, he does have a point in there.

Croi's statement here:
Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

It seems that he had no idea how being ironic he was… or did he?
Ever heard of the Bored housewife syndrome? Believe it or not, but it's real.
Its very common in homes that has traditional roles. After all, when you think about it… a woman can only clean and cook so much before she discovers that she has nothing to do basically expect spend her husband's money, and or lay around the house all day.

It seems that in general, more people are much happier in Non-traditional families.
For instance, some men may not be happy with pressure on them. By pressure, I mean worrying about what would happen if they were to lose their jobs somehow. If they were the sole “Breadwinner” who brought home the “bacon”, then the whole household would lose all main support, with no backup.
At least with the wife working too, There's backup for the two of them in case one of them loses her/his job. So the man can take some time to look for another job… instead of desperately clutching at anything that comes his way before his family starves.

And this benefits the women too, of course. For instance, some women would certainly not appreciate if they were ALWAYS the one who took the kids to school, cleaned the whole damn house, and the one to slave over a hot stove. If the men took some time to help out with any of that…. then the women will have a less stressful situation that way too. Because it feels like they're actually on equal grounds, with them helping out each other. As opposed to feeling like slave labor.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
Product Placement at 12:04AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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Last name changes for women are a bitch, though. It must have taken me months to go through all of that crap. Social security, DMV, all the places I receive bills from….ugh. But it was worth it; I was proud to have his last name.

Back home we don't carry our family names. We carry what we call father names. Basically everyone is son of../daughter of.. It's strange but very simple. You can read more about it here.

We do have family names too but they are clan names of sorts and would be weird to attach to our names.

Anyways, as a result, women back home don't switch their names when they get married.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:49PM
lastcall at 3:23AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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Croi Dhubh
There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things

Yeah I think I'm one of the last few women who actually wants to stay at home and take care of the house while the husband goes to work. I was raised in a traditional household, and my mom was a homemaker, so I'd like to do the same. Unfortunately, with the way housing prices and all other expenses are now–it's virtually impossible to do that nowadays. Both husband and wife have to have a stable job to pay the bills–and I dunno about you guys, but my freelance art job isn't exactly considered ‘stable’ right now. lol! So I work at a 9-5 job to help chip in with the bills. …And then I come home and cook and clean. huh!?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:27PM
mlai at 5:43AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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So I work at a 9-5 job to help chip in with the bills. …And then I come home and cook and clean. huh!?
Oh yeah my mumsy did that and that's a steady source of audible angst lemme tell ya.

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
Steely Gaze at 6:04AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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Croi Dhubh
This is another HUGE thing that prevents me from wanting to get married. What's the point in me getting married? Nothing will change except the female will be there CONSTANTLY.

There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

That's been my experience with most women, save for two, that I've dated. The last one wanted to be a teacher, and I couldn't have been more happy about her decision to do so and kept pushing her to focus on that, but I guess she decided that I wasn't good enough. The other one ran her own business making jewelry, but it was long distance and so it didn't work.

Come to think of it…there's a third, but I don't know where that one would lead, and I have huge things to take into consideration with her, and I doubt it'd be worth it. She seems to think otherwise, however.

That sounds more than a little misogynistic. I mean, c'mon, life has changed a lot since the 1950s. Men aren't the sole breadwinners anymore, as Aurora Moon pointed out. I mean, why is it traditional for the woman to cook, clean, and take care of the kids? That's an antiquated thought process. In this modern life we live, it is both parents who must work to keep the family structure together, not one.

In my opinion, this is where most marriages fail; when you have one side that expects something, often irrationally, of the other side, and both parties lose. Honestly, marriage is about unity, and that means the man and the woman have to find some sort of common ground, preferably before the actual marriage takes place.

I've known men who like to cook. I've known women who prefer to work. And I've known their opposites (women who like to cook, men who like to work) and let me tell you, the idea of tradition is crap.

But I've never met anyone who liked to clean…. lol!
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last edited on July 14, 2011 3:57PM
lastcall at 7:17AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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But I've never met anyone who liked to clean…. lol!

You haven't met me, then. I absolutely hate a messy house. I do laundry at least every other day and try to keep our place spotless. I like having a clean house…call me crazy, but it actually keeps me in a good mood.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:27PM
ozoneocean at 7:37AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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Steely Gaze
That sounds more than a little misogynistic. I mean, c'mon, life has changed a lot since the 1950s. Men aren't the sole breadwinners anymore…
I'd say it's more old fashioned than Misogynistic. I don't think they're the same thing either. Sex roles in the west always used to be quite different, but that depended on the social class of the people to a great extent- usually towards the lower end of the spectrum roles were often more similar; both men and women worked for a living. And at the top end of the spectrum women had much more freedoms and privileges than any men in the classes below. With the growth of the “middle” class, that's where the disparity became most apparent. Those women had less power and were expected not to work. That started to change through the 20's, into the 30's and in a BIG way in the 40's, but the returning servicemen after the war changed all that. The 50's were a massive social regression in many ways for many reasons…
———————————-
Ha! I don't like mess in my house, but I'm not obsessive. I make sure things are clean and I couldn't live in a pigstye… But you have to have a cleaning balance; just as it's horrible to live with mess, it's impossible to get too many things done and enjoy your home if you spend all the time cleaning stuff and messes aren't allowed :)
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:29PM
DAJB at 7:52AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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Steely Gaze
But I've never met anyone who liked to clean…. lol!
You haven't met me, then. I absolutely hate a messy house. I do laundry at least every other day and try to keep our place spotless. I like having a clean house…call me crazy, but it actually keeps me in a good mood.
I suspect you are about to receive 10,000 PQs from DD-ers looking for someone to do their housework!
;)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:03PM
dueeast at 7:55AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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I married at 26. My wife was 21. We are an interracial couple (I'm white, she's black). We had our first child (which we did plan) the same year. We had been known each other for 4 years and been engaged for over 2 years before we got married. We lived together for a couple of years before marrying. After a couple of years of marriage, we planned our second child, another boy.

In spite of initial disapproval/racism from some family and friends, we stayed together (that did stop shortly after we started having kids btw). It hasn't always been rosy, every relationship has ups and downs, but it is possible to make a marriage work. We've been married 12 years, 13 years this March.

My wife did stay home with the boys until the boys were old enough to go to school. That was our mutual preference, but it was also economically more feasible at the time, too. Neither of us regrets that, although I did have to work 2 jobs on occasion to support us.

I am extremely proud that my wife is my co-writer on Due East. We make a good team. B)

Also, I have to say, I really don't like the term “breeder.” It's a bit offensive to me. I am a parent, not a horse or a dog.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:17PM
kyupol at 10:20AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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As I was saying–while Kypol seems to be having too much fun playing the conspiracy nut, he does have a point in there.

In the future, there will be a war between humans and reptoids. While it took thousands of years for the Sirians (a more evolved human ET at least 3000 years ahead of our tech level now) to fight the reptoids to a stalemate, what more with us.

We need our numbers. At least we stand a chance by large numbers and kill as many reptoids as we can!!!

NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
kyupol at 10:29AM, Jan. 18, 2008
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Btw, traditional women are my preference of woman.

Think about it. All you have to do is stay at home and do all the housework and pleasure me. Housework is good exercise. It will keep you fit.

I would mind being the one who works all day and pays the bills and fixes the stuff that break. I don't need someone who will raise her voice and bitch about a million little things and freak out and scream like its the end of the world everyday.

:)

NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
Croi Dhubh at 12:26PM, Jan. 18, 2008
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No, I wasn't kidding. If you read what I said, it's actually very flexible in my desires with someone, and logical in the questioning.

If you're not going to go to school, have a job, or be a house wife, what's in it for me? So, what, you want to spend my money while watching TV, getting fat, and being a lazy bitch all day? Not going to happen.


kyupol
Btw, traditional women are my preference of woman.

Think about it. All you have to do is stay at home and do all the housework and pleasure me. Housework is good exercise. It will keep you fit.

I would mind being the one who works all day and pays the bills and fixes the stuff that break. I don't need someone who will raise her voice and bitch about a million little things and freak out and scream like its the end of the world everyday.

:)


I couldn't say my ideal woman and agree, but a mentally stable, really into me at least as much as I am into her woman who either wants to do the house work, OR go to school and get an education for a future job/just because she likes to go to school to learn (but the latter shouldn't use that as an excuse to not do anything else…I've worked two jobs going to school full time, so having one part time and helping around the house isn't impossible), OR has a job she's happy at is great.

One or the other, but you're not going to sit around all day, bitch at me when I come home, spend my money, and not do anything to assist in the relationship.

Most of the women I meet don't want to do any of those three. They think some rich prince charming is going to come in and they can sit around all day, spending money, and being a parasite will show up. Guess what? Most of these women aren't good enough for that, nor would prince charming put up with their shit.


Steely Gaze
Croi Dhubh
This is another HUGE thing that prevents me from wanting to get married. What's the point in me getting married? Nothing will change except the female will be there CONSTANTLY.

There's nothing in marriage for men anymore. Most women don't want to stay at home and do traditional things, they don't want to work, and they aren't in school…so WTF is left for them to do? Yeah, they want to spend the money and lay around all fucking day.

That's been my experience with most women, save for two, that I've dated. The last one wanted to be a teacher, and I couldn't have been more happy about her decision to do so and kept pushing her to focus on that, but I guess she decided that I wasn't good enough. The other one ran her own business making jewelry, but it was long distance and so it didn't work.

Come to think of it…there's a third, but I don't know where that one would lead, and I have huge things to take into consideration with her, and I doubt it'd be worth it. She seems to think otherwise, however.

That sounds more than a little misogynistic. I mean, c'mon, life has changed a lot since the 1950s. Men aren't the sole breadwinners anymore, as Aurora Moon pointed out. I mean, why is it traditional for the woman to cook, clean, and take care of the kids? That's an antiquated thought process. In this modern life we live, it is both parents who must work to keep the family structure together, not one.
You're reading into that wrong. It's not misogynistic, it's fact. I'm not saying that women should stay at home and do it all, I'm saying that they don't want to do ANY of those three things.

Anyone I'm with will either be working in a job she's happy at, staying at home, but doing the house work if that's where she's going to be, or going to college (even if she ends up being a “professional student”…really, don't care, just DO SOMETHING).

Most women want a traditional man who opens the door for them, makes lots of money, comes home right away after work, gives them access to the accounts so they can spend the money freely, but they don't want to do anything that a traditional woman would do.

So, honestly, if a woman doesn't want to do the traditional thing, she doesn't want to work so she doesn't, nor does she go to school, what is in it for me? If I'm still doing all of my own laundry AND paying for everything AND the only one working AND doing the house work AND treating her like a princess, what am I getting in return? Sex? I can just as easily get that without having a lazy bitch around the house day in and day out.


In my opinion, this is where most marriages fail; when you have one side that expects something, often irrationally, of the other side, and both parties lose. Honestly, marriage is about unity, and that means the man and the woman have to find some sort of common ground, preferably before the actual marriage takes place.
I agree for the most part. Too many people go into marriage thinking, “This will solve all my problems!” or “This is going to be the greatest thing in the world with this person because now they will –insert idiotic thinking here–”.


I've known men who like to cook. I've known women who prefer to work. And I've known their opposites (women who like to cook, men who like to work) and let me tell you, the idea of tradition is crap.
I cook. I have no problem with women who want to work. Women cooking and men working is more “traditional” and not the opposite, though.

The idea of tradition isn't crap, it's a general basis of what things should be. There can be plenty of variations, that's fine, but there must be something in it for me. Just saying that, “Oh, the person you love is always there and by you!” is crap. I have someone and people who do that for me now and I don't have to put up with any kind of excess B.S. from them.


But I've never met anyone who liked to clean…. lol!
A-MEN! *LOL*
Liberate Tutemae Ex Inferis
Moderatio est Figmentum: Educatio est Omnium Efficacissima Forma Rebellionis

http://weblog.xanga.com/CroiDhubh - Home to the “Chuck E. Cheese Terror” stories
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:54AM
kyupol at 12:52PM, Jan. 18, 2008
(online)
posts: 3,712
joined: 1-12-2006
Most women want a traditional man who opens the door for them, makes lots of money, comes home right away after work, gives them access to the accounts so they can spend the money freely, but they don't want to do anything that a traditional woman would do.

Now THAT is more bizarre than any rant I make.

NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM

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