Debate and Discussion

Age disparity in couples...
warefish at 8:49PM, Oct. 25, 2008
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when I do the formula, I get 17. And I'm 16…

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:46PM
Aurora Moon at 11:46PM, Oct. 25, 2008
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I think as you get older the age relevance becomes less important. My fiance is 6 years older than me, but at 29 and 35, its no biggie…. but now if she was 20 and I was 14… thats a whole other matter! So there's that.

I also think a lot of it has to do with where you are in life, and your current goals. An older person interested in settling down, might find that suddenly one day his like minded younger girlfriend suddenly wants to party all the time… stuff like that… But this is true for similarly aged couples as well. What you want to be doing at 18 vs 23 vs 30 can be three different things and it can go many different ways, and its easy for couples to grow apart because of that.

I've even seen this with just my friends. When I hit about 25-26 I had gotten serious with my fiance, raising her children with her, and noticed that the lifestyle I'd been living up to that point (which included drinking… a lot) was getting phased out as it was effecting my day to day life which was becoming more important. My friends on the other hand (most a good 2 or 3 years younger), were like “Dude! What's wrong with you? Party!” Interestingly enough… 2 or 3 years later, a lot of them are in the same place as me… while others are very upset at losing party mates to domestication… People change, and I think that's a big factor in the outcome of interpersonal relationships, romantic, platonic, or otherwise…

that's a very good way to explain the whole situation of age and dating. :)

and I pretty much agree.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
Katch at 3:09AM, Oct. 26, 2008
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As amusing as it is, i actually ended up with the 37 year old i was talking about on the first page XD And you know what? i love him very much; and i'm really glad i don't care much about the 18 year age difference there, because as corny as it sounds. It's nothing compared to how i feel =3

I thought my parents would take it kinda bad that i was going out with someone almost twice my age. But really, if you're both of age, know what you want, and you're both willing to put up with the good times AND the bad…it will work =]
with a little patience and a lot of support, it will work ^^
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:14PM
NickGuy at 9:09AM, Oct. 26, 2008
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The only thing against vast age differences is mental….allow me to explain.

Im 21. Ive always liked the older woman idea *my gf is 23*. but while i would sleep with an attractive woman who was 40+, theres no way in hell I would date her. Two reason being..

1) at that age, Im very immature. Theres no way I would be able to be the kind of man that she is looking for/needs, and

2) if theres a 40 year old still acting 20, then there's something wrong there IMO. she needs to mature.

and thats the issue i see. i have no problem with it physically. if you guys are happy together, congrats! But I just have to wonder…what could someone whos 50 years old possibly have in common with a 30 year old? :/

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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:15PM
Warpedwenger at 12:28PM, Oct. 26, 2008
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I have a friend who is in his forties and he goes around at cons dressed as Pervy Sage to hit on young girls. Now he's dating a 20 year old and they are pretty serious. I think it's a weird situation personally but they're happy and they aren't hurting anybody. Hmmm… You know what?… I think I might try Master Roshi…
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:47PM
lba at 7:43PM, Oct. 26, 2008
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I tend to look for people very close to my own age. My fiancee was less than a month younger than me. Dating someone your own age cuts out a lot of the problems I've run into with one person pulling rank on the other or different points in life. Of course, you have to balance that off against the fact that when you're younger and in college like myself, the people of the opposite sex who are your age, rarely if ever share a maturity level and life goals with you.

Women tend to mature a bit faster than men which is why I think it doesn't seem as odd for an older man to date a younger girl as it would for an older woman to date a younger guy. Case in point I guess would be the comparison of the movie The Graduate as opposed to the whole life of Hugh Hefner. A guy gets into the whole settle down and start a family mode a lot later than a woman usually.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
NickGuy at 8:05PM, Oct. 26, 2008
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lba
A guy gets into the whole settle down and start a family mode a lot later than a woman usually.

thats exactly my point. I mean, the love can be there and everything, but love wont pay the bills or make a person responsible. and there are ALOT of immature girls out there in their mid to late 20s, believe me…ive dealt with them lol. thats why i always wonder what kind of person whos 50 would be with a 30 year old…when im 50 all im going to be able to think is “wow i was so fucking stupid at 30…why would i want to deal with that again?”

“Kung Fu Komix IS…hardcore martial art action all the way. 8/10” -Harkovast
“Kung Fu Komix is that rare comic that is made with heart and love of the medium, and it delivers” -Zenstrive
“Kung Fu Komix is…so awesome” -threeeyeswurm
“Kung Fu Komix is..told with all the stupid exuberance of the genre it parodies” -The Real Macabre
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:15PM
ozoneocean at 9:17AM, Oct. 27, 2008
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Katch
As amusing as it is, i actually ended up with the 37 year old
What? 0_o The dirty fellow!

Is this the end for our love? Ack!
Say it aint so!




D:



lba
Women tend to mature a bit faster than men which is why I think it doesn't seem as odd for an older man to date a younger girl as it would for an older woman to date a younger guy.
Ha! So older men from time immemorial would have you believe… ;)

I tend to think it''s more a case of a taste for younger, firmer flesh and a penchant for justifying it. lol!
Honestly, the amount of “mature” younger women/girls and even much older women I meet is pretty much the same as guys. There are dopes and smarties at every age and neither sex has the monopoly there.
I will say though that it often seems more “acceptable” for males to allow themselves to behave like kids and to do more gregarious silly things, while for women it's more acceptable for them to behave like kids over other less boisterous things…
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:32PM
Katch at 1:13PM, Oct. 27, 2008
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LOL,what love? XD we, dear, have a mutual love of art-
And he's not dirty, he's just strange~ very much like you Ozone~
even has the hair XD
*chuckles*
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:14PM
Warpedwenger at 2:21PM, Oct. 27, 2008
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I think women mature much slower from what I've seen… :/
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:47PM
Faliat at 7:57PM, Oct. 28, 2008
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It pretty much depends on which country you happen to be in. And also which age you start the formula at.
There's one in which it's your age divided by 2 and add 7. So that starts from the age of 14.
If you started it from 16 (The most common age of consent) it would be half your age plus 8.

The formula is only an estimate of what society would accept, not which ages would fit better together. It's personality first in my opinion. Though personality is affected by life experience.

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
Scribe_Drizz at 2:02AM, Dec. 3, 2008
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I'm four years older than my husband.

My neighbor is 26 years older than her boyfriend.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:24PM
ipokino at 9:28AM, Dec. 3, 2008
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The first time I heard the formula ‘half your age plus seven’ it was applied to a man courting a woman in the Book ‘Little Women’ by Loiusa May Alcott. A Victorian concept if ever there was one. However, it makes a certain amount of sense, like most of these things–time tested and often true.
I am fifty, my wife is forty. This seems perfectly right for us. I confess to being a dirty old man in that I find the younger female form to be amazingly appealing, and fantasy still runs blissfully amok. I mean, c'mon…when I was fifteen I thought the girl down the street (fourteen and stacked) was the hottest thing going. Now at fifty my mind is supposed to have changed on this?!?!?!? Are you nuts?!?!? I'm still the same fifteen year old boy–IN MY ‘PHYSICAL’ MIND–that I always was. You can change and age the wrapper–but the physical things that appealed to me at fifteen still appeal! If you are honest, you have to admit this is true–why else would Manga with its practically pubescent girls be such the rage?

However, that being said, what is IN my MIND has matured emmensely. My eyes and libido might find that young hottie appealing from a fantasy point of view, but there are realities. There is no way I would want to try and build a long term RELATIONSHIP with a teen-ager–or even a twentysomething. The mental congruency necessary simply would not exist. My life has evolved.

Last point. I hear young women complaining that they don't have this, or they aren't making enough for that…but they continue to date guys their own age who are equally strapped and essentially asset-less. The Victorians appreciated asset management and young women were encouraged to find marraiges with older men who could profide better for them. I say, young ladies–you want to jumpstart your life a bit asset-wise–seriously consider hooking up with an older man… He'll certainly be grateful and YOUR life will be a lot less lacking in material things. I know this is a HUGELY sexist thing to say–and I'll probably get slapped down hard by you ladies who are strong and independent–but not everyone is built that way…

Just my two cents…ask me about arranged marraiges sometime…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:02PM
mykill at 10:30PM, Jan. 10, 2009
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The formula is only useful to the extent what others think is important to you.

Compatibility is important to me, good sex, good conversation, friendship - stuff like that. If there's a 20 year age difference but everything else is in place and the feeling is mutual - what other people think isn't our problem.

But the dating older for financial reasons doesn't work by itself. If as a younger person the older is really HOT to you and you really like them a whole lot - then go for it. Screw what other folks think of it!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:09PM
Aurora Borealis at 9:10AM, Jan. 12, 2009
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I'm seriously pondering a relationship with someone older 6 years than me.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:08AM
Senshuu at 4:20PM, Jan. 15, 2009
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I never see a very young guy committed to a very aged woman. I wonder why.

On another note, I'd like to stick to within 2 years of my age, because I just couldn't deal with someone in a whole different phase of their life today in this world. Unless they'd stabilized, of course, but then there's my own growth and stability to consider, lolz.

Most couples in my family and in families I know are pretty closely-aged, too (within 3-5 years of each other).
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:27PM
Product Placement at 11:49PM, Jan. 17, 2009
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In my opinion, large age difference matters not unless one of the lovers is very young or far gone is his/her current lifespan. At that point you should race an eyebrow and inquire about alternative motives.

Someone who's mature dating a REALLY young person could be taking advantage of his/her immaturity and when the matters are reversed then the love for the aging individual could be based on the inheritance that the younger lover is expecting to get.

I'm not saying that those kinds of relationships should be banned outright but little vigilance is necessary. If the relationship can't handle that kind of scrutiny then I'd assume that the intentions for it weren't pure.

Bleh. I feel like my comment for this discussion is way to academic.

I will admit. I once had a chance to date a girl who was younger then me, 17… or 16 while I was 25 and I honestly didn't feel comfortable with the idea.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
BffSatan at 3:46AM, Jan. 18, 2009
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Mental maturity is different from physical maturity. I will always be a child at heart.
So if you screw me you're a Paedophile.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:20AM
spaz at 9:38PM, Jan. 25, 2009
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I'm gonna have to agree with the maturity sentiment. As people age they mature, making age gaps mean less.
That being said I'm not sure why a 30 year old would date some one in their teens.
Gaps or differences were the elder is dating some one who is still at the dawn of their life seems a little off to me, and as NickGuy state there is probably something wrong with them. Like being immature.











Or sexually deranged.
BTW, Bump.
When a pit bull romances your leg, fake an orgasim.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:53PM
Product Placement at 9:05PM, Jan. 31, 2009
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I have to say it's funny how animals just don't care. I have this annoying male cat hitting on my feline and she isn't even one year old yet. This guy is 3 times the size of her!
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
ozoneocean at 11:01PM, Jan. 31, 2009
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ipokino
I mean, c'mon…when I was fifteen I thought the girl down the street (fourteen and stacked) was the hottest thing going. Now at fifty my mind is supposed to have changed on this?!?!?!? Are you nuts?!?!? I'm still the same fifteen year old boy–IN MY ‘PHYSICAL’ MIND–that I always was. You can change and age the wrapper–but the physical things that appealed to me at fifteen still appeal! If you are honest, you have to admit this is true–why else would Manga with its practically pubescent girls be such the rage?
I don't know man. When I was that age it was really only girls my own age or older that I liked. Now I'm older, 15 year olds just look under developed, awkward and childish… gawky in most cases.

18 or 19 is really my outer, outer limit… and even that isn't really a thing since interests, knowledge and maturity differ so much. Even the pop-culture they like tends to be alien to me.
But for older women, it's not such a huge thing.

I like that old Lou Reed song, it has some lyrics that apply to age:
“You're still doing things that I gave up years ago”

lol!
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Zad at 8:42PM, March 2, 2009
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Wait a second, I'm 16. So, 16/2=8+9=17. WTF? I have to date someone older than me to not look like a craddlerobber?
But, yeah, I knwo thsi probably isn't accurate for soemone my age.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:54PM
Aurora Moon at 9:49AM, March 3, 2009
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Zad
Wait a second, I'm 16. So, 16/2=8+9=17. WTF? I have to date someone older than me to not look like a craddlerobber?
But, yeah, I knwo thsi probably isn't accurate for soemone my age.

Actually, I think you're mistaken. I think the only way you would look like an cradle-robber was if you dated somebody four to five years younger than you AT YOUR CURRENT AGE.

So if you're 16, and you dated some 12-year-old girl then yeah people would definitely think there was something wrong with you. plus I'm sure the parents of the 12-year-old girl/boy would want to file charges against you if not beat you up for even daring to date their precious child.

however if you stuck with 15 years old all the way up to 17 years old then it's not that big an deal then. considering the two ages between your actual age is still in your age range.

So basically… 2 to 3 years is more acceptable in age gaps when dating, while the larger age gaps while it's still slightly acceptable, tends to raise a few more eyebrows. Especially if a 40-year-old guy is dating a 20-year-old.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM

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