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An open letter to my penis
kyupol at 7:21AM, Feb. 14, 2009
posts: 3,713
joined: 1-12-2006
You CANT make this up…


Dear Penis,

We've been together now more than 40 years. I've always treated you well. A soft touch, a kind word now and then and always protected you from disease or harm.
I touched you the way you liked whenever you needed it and was always loving and caring.
I never held it against you (unless you wanted me to) when you woke up before me, and was always careful to protect you from full blunt contact.
I cut some of you away early in my life, and for that I apologize, but in my defence, it was NOT me who made that decision, but in hindsight, don't you think you look much better?!
At this point in my life I must ask, why is it that you don't perform the way you once did?
As stated earlier, I have treated you well and am surprised that you've decided to let me DOWN so soon.
I never questioned why you were the size you were, and never wished you were more than you are.
You used to wake up every morning before me, but now choose to sleep until noon.
I eat my “Wheaties” and am trying to figure out why I pissed you off.
On a positive note, you were able to impregnate my wife last December and for that I am truly grateful.
I would ask that perhaps you remember how firrm and often you used to be willing to play and if you could bring that “enthusiasm” back for just a little while.
I really think I'm too young for Viagra or it's twin brothers.
I depend on you quite a bit and hope that you'll understand that I'm trying my best, but I can't do it alone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't live without what you once were and with a little work you/we can be what we once were together.
Yours always…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM

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