Random Discussion

And thats when the fight started. (This is effing hilarious plz read)
Spideytheking at 3:47PM, Dec. 15, 2009
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posts: 25
joined: 10-18-2009
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ‘What’s on TV?'

I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started…
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

'Yes,' I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “Aren't you worried about the mad cow?”“

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— —

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started…..

———— ——— ——— ——

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——— —–

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

And that's when the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——— ——

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’
And that's when the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary? ”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that's when the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No,” she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I'd like to phone a friend.”

And that's when the fight started….
Invader zim vs Grr = FUUN MUHAHAHAHAHAH Im tired of hearing about the damn shamwow or am I o.0 who will know Grr will thats who Evil is ocra and oprah or am I just them in a alternate universe only a god knows unless Im him too
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:54PM
Ironscarf at 3:57PM, Dec. 15, 2009
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posts: 1,117
joined: 9-9-2008
Er… so this is a discussion about the damaging effects of gender stereotyping?

 
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:02PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 4:04PM, Dec. 15, 2009
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posts: 3,785
joined: 1-16-2009
This is some kind of forward message that I NEVER want to get. N-E-V-E-R.

But some of them were funny…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:53PM
skoolmunkee at 4:06PM, Dec. 15, 2009
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posts: 7,058
joined: 1-2-2006
I'm moving it to WTH, because that is where I put all the random posts that don't seem to have a point. Godspeed, “Take my wife, please” joke thread!
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:43PM
martinlo_23 at 8:20PM, Dec. 15, 2009
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posts: 755
joined: 3-4-2008
Just one word…






LOL
DarkMartio rules.(That's me.) The cake is a lie. I heard u lieks mudkips.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:54PM
Chernobog at 10:11PM, Dec. 15, 2009
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posts: 926
joined: 11-3-2007
Funny stuff.
 
 
“You tell yourself to just
enjoy the process,” he added. “That whether you succeed or fail, win or
lose, it will be fine. You pretend to be Zen. You adopt detachment, and
ironic humor, while secretly praying for a miracle.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:41AM

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