Debate and Discussion

Authorities cracking down on young people for sex related things.
ozoneocean at 7:30AM, April 17, 2009
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Who else thinks this sex-fear stuff is getting strangely out of hand in some ways?

There have been a number of media reports about kids getting prosecuted for looking at porn at school on the computers there, sending text messages to their friends about it, sending videos and images of themselves to each other, e-mails and all the rest.

We all know kids talk about sec, find out about it etc… Most of us did that ourselves, most of us never DID anything about it though.
I don't think kids are talking about it any more than before or getting easier access to it than before necessarily- since back in the day there were WAY more magazines, books, videos etc. And some adults always had some somewhere where kids could get them.
-there used to be a lot more speciality shops with many, many titles, and of course a lot more at news agents and places like that.

I think what's happening now is that it's just easier for people to spy on children's online activities and phone records so that they're tracked. And when they DO look at porn or talk about things of a sexual nature of any kind they soon have a heavy breathing authority figure hot after them.

And so the idea seems to be that we have to impose punishments on these kids, even though the punishments are always worse than the “crime”. It's just a paradigm we have to follow: kids aren't meant to look at sexy stuff, so when you catch them at it you must punish them.

But we don't want immature people indulging in sexual activities, or at least we don't want to condone it. So is there a better alternative to these idiotic punishments meted out to them? I can't think of anything but simple sober education. - Take away the mystery and the titillation. When they really do come of age their hormones will set them up properly.
I think kids not correctly educated but sex are likely to be the dumb ones who do stupid things at early ages.

And in the mean time adults should stop acting as if all kids that are caught looking at porn are sex criminals. -in my opinion it's the adults who put that interpretation on kids activities who are the perverts and most likely closet sadists or even paedophiles.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Product Placement at 7:45AM, April 17, 2009
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Might be a good question to ask when should you sit down with your children and explain the whole “Birds & the Bees” to them. The article, which I posted in WTH, stated that two boys at the age of 12 managed to look at a porn site at school and are being prosecuted for showing it to their classmates.

In my school we had a formal sex education around the age of 13-14 I think.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
ozoneocean at 7:55AM, April 17, 2009
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Which is not a good reason for prosecuting the chidren.
——–
It's probably a good idea to de-mystify sex to kids who are in the pre-puberty stage then, because at 13 or 14 you're already getting those silly hormones sending you all those crossed messages.

Most of the adults who I've met who're most adjusted to sexual matters learned about it at a younger age.- not in a weird way either -_-
And I recall those sex-ed picture books were clearly designed for young people.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
HippieVan at 8:11AM, April 17, 2009
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I'm sure all adults would like to think that their kids don't think about sex, but the simple fact is that they do, and I think that's a pretty natural thing. And making sex seem so taboo will only make kids more curious about it.
The best thing is to start basic sex ed around perhaps 5th or 6th grade, as I remember this being about the time kids started talking about that stuff and wondering about it. As these classes continue while the kids grow older, more of the details can be taught. At least this way kids can be learning about sex in a safe environment and learning about it the proper way, rather than through dirty magazines and street corners.
Being interested in what produces us all is a strange reason for someone to be punished.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Product Placement at 8:14AM, April 17, 2009
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ozoneocean
Which is not a good reason for prosecuting the chidren.
You're preaching to the choir here. I'm fully on board the “say what now?” bandwagon regarding this news flash.

ozoneocean
It's probably a good idea to de-mystify sex to kids who are in the pre-puberty stage then, because at 13 or 14 you're already getting those silly hormones sending you all those crossed messages.
That's pretty much the whole approach to the matter where I grew up. The sex ed focus not only on procreation and birth control but it also discussed the topic that everyone matured at a different rate. Girls tend to take a growth spur before the boys and thus are taller then the average boys around that age. Girls get breasts at different rate around that time and is a subject for teasing. Those who mature the fastest get picked on in the beginning and those who mature the last become the subject of ridicule later on. Subjects like body hair and odd growths are discussed and why they're perfectly normal. All in all, this lowers allot of tension.

One noticeable drawback which is also the biggest subject that people against sex ed talk about is that teenagers who are informed about sex are much more likely to have it. What they fail to mention is that they're also much more likely to practice safe sex.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
bravo1102 at 11:25AM, April 17, 2009
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We 21st Century types would be shocked by 16-18th century attitudes towards sex and sex education (outside of Massachusetts ;) ) We used to be a lot more open and have less problems.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:33AM
Kristen Gudsnuk at 12:13AM, April 28, 2009
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I guess sex ed is important, but they present it in the driest (oh, pun intended) way possible. I mean, I get how they want to present “just the facts”, but I learned nothing whatsoever in sex ed, because I was so excruciatingly bored (cross sections of droopy penises? not sexy). It should be on the national agenda to show all teenage girls where the clitoris is. There would be so much less teen angst poetry on the web.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:22PM
Product Placement at 1:05AM, April 28, 2009
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It should be on the national agenda to show all teenage girls where the clitoris is.
While they're at it, why not throw in a 3 year course showing us men were that G-spot is?

This could solve all our world problems :) I mean think about all the wars that were started because the leaders had trouble satisfying their women in bed.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
Loud_G at 10:19AM, April 28, 2009
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I agree on the point about education being very important. It can help a lot in a lot of areas.



However, I disagree with the first post's assumption that kids' access to titillating material has remained unchanged.

There is WAY more of it available. At the click of a button. Before you had to have a friend with an older brother, or a dad who looked at that kind of stuff. This cut down on access a LOT!

For example, I NEVER saw any of that material in ANY of my schools growing up. (I grew up in a very urbanized environment. Also, I'm only 28.) However, now if you type in a web address just slightly wrong, you get bombarded with images.

I have no problem with kids being punished for looking at that kind of stuff. Prosecution is taking it a bit far though.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:46PM
megan_rose at 4:03PM, April 28, 2009
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I work at the news, and we're running a story on sexting this week. Yay, sweeps! /sarcasm

This whole thing is silly. We're biologically adults at age 12-14, but not legally adults until 18. Acting on natural desires with their peers should not make underaged kids sex-offenders or pedophiles. All it makes them is naturally, normally, healthily curious.

Sexting might be new, but it's just the new way of playing the same old game. You show me yours, I'll show you mine. Now, it's just got technology added into it.

Yes, it might be more easily available, but the reasoning behind it is the same. I am 15 and full or hormones and want to see something naked. In 1009, you'd be married at 15, probably already have three kids. But now in 2009, you have sex with someone your own age, and you're a sex-offender for life.

It's ridiculous. Don't punish kids for doing what's natural.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:59PM
machinehead at 8:03PM, April 28, 2009
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I think it's a good thing. I had to wait until I got home from school to look at porn. But anyway my wife is teacher and kids are crazy as hell these days. Things I was doing as a 16-17 year old. Kids are doing at like 10 years old. My wife is home schooling a kid who is 13 that when she was 10 her and her other friend that was 10 was caught out in the woods giving a carny oral sex. Kids are pretty messed up.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:49PM
Rengishi at 2:07PM, April 29, 2009
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Bieng a kid myself…I find many a friends who talk,watch,look at, and masturbate to frekkin porn.
thing is,kids are much more
eeeeeevil and caniving
,then you give us credit for because we grow up in the age of technology and knowing way more about it then you,we find it very easy to outsmart you.

never the less we know LOTS of stuff about porn…and talking to your kids about it just freaks/creeps them out…
WE ALREADY KNOW!! we just choose not to care…now this bieng said…the more you try to hide porn the easier it is to find it….fact is there will always be kids who look at porn..and no matter what you do..THE WAR ON KIDS LOOKING AT PORN WILL FAIL!!….Even though we they look at porn we don't mean too…we ussually are looking for anime..find Hentai and eventually watch porn…we are understanding kids though..and will need therapy

Having a parnet talk about it is embarrassing…or worse an aunt,uncle,grandmother,or grandfather
We'd rather talk to someone we don't know..like a therapist
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last edited on July 14, 2011 3:05PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 2:39PM, April 29, 2009
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I thought we lived in a free country here? If this is authorities in Amercia we're talkin' about, where'd the ‘free’ part go?
I
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:56PM
megan_rose at 5:09PM, April 29, 2009
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Puff_Of_Smoke
I thought we lived in a free country here? If this is authorities in Amercia we're talkin' about, where'd the ‘free’ part go?

“Freedom” in our country has an asterisk after it. Freedom*
Beware the asterisk.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:59PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 5:59PM, April 29, 2009
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Puff_Of_Smoke
I thought we lived in a free country here? If this is authorities in Amercia we're talkin' about, where'd the ‘free’ part go?

“Freedom” in our country has an asterisk after it. Freedom*
Beware the asterisk.

It's like:

In North America we have total freedom*!

*Fuck you man, you go with how we roll or we blow you up.
I
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:56PM
HippieVan at 6:00PM, April 29, 2009
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Ha, that whole thing about sexting is so silly! That's one of those things that like, a couple naughty teens do and then all of a sudden EVERY teenager is apparently taking part in! And parents FREAK because Dr Phil talks about it!
It's pretty unfair for teenagers like me…or most teens, really, who don't do any of this stuff. We get this horrible reputation because the media play on parents' need to have something to panic about.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Rengishi at 6:40PM, April 29, 2009
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Freedom is a state of mind played with by different american ideals.
Dr.phil is an evil genius VIRGIN!!!! thus he doesn't want teens to have sex.
,and the damn 5-0 is always fuckin with a brotha when he screws with a white girl.

Bottum line this world has waaaaay tooo many virgins with waaaay too much athority
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last edited on July 14, 2011 3:05PM
Aurora Moon at 8:17PM, April 29, 2009
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Hippie Van
Ha, that whole thing about sexting is so silly! That's one of those things that like, a couple naughty teens do and then all of a sudden EVERY teenager is apparently taking part in! And parents FREAK because Dr Phil talks about it!
It's pretty unfair for teenagers like me…or most teens, really, who don't do any of this stuff. We get this horrible reputation because the media play on parents' need to have something to panic about.

I have to agree.

I don't think this is caused by virginal adults…. but mostly by overreacting parents. Dr.Phil is a father himself, after all.

You see, it's perfectly normal for people to want to think of their family members as being non-sexual and “innocent” in a way.
Kids prefer to not think about their parents' sex lives. in fact kids would rather pretend that their parents don't have an sex life at all…. and pretending that their parents had them some other way instead of doing the nasty.
likewise, parents also don't like to think about the fact that their kids, as the kids get older would eventually have an sex/love life. That would mean that they would have to think/see tier own kids in a whole new way… that, frankly would just make them extremely uncomfortable. They couldn't and wouldn't bring themselves to face the fact that their daughters and sons is “sexy” to somebody out there.

There comes a time though, when both parties on both sides has to realize that the each side has been holding each up to standards or viewed each other in a rosy-colored glasses, and has to face that the other side is… *gasp* only human and has an life just like everyone else. for parents, this is way more uncomfortable to grasp than kids… and so therefore they have more to fuss over in order to hold off the inevitability that their kids would leave the nest one day and start having sex out there.

It's more uncomfortable for the parents than on the side of kids, because while the kids has always seen their parents as adults (usually, anyway)… the parents has had watched the kids grow up from a little baby all the way up to teenager-hood. for some of them, it feels like only a few years to them ever since their kids were babies. for those parents, sometimes they feel like maybe it's just too soon to let their kids grow up like that, and so of course they panic.

They can't help but think: “It might be just me… but it feels like it was only a few years ago when my kid was 4 years old, were so innocent and were playing with barbie dolls/action figures, and playing make-believe. I remember them being scared of the monster in the closet, believing in the tooth fairy and all that. And all of a sudden my little girl/boy is grown up, and is sexually active?? Sorry, but that just feels too weird to me!”

Unfortunately, there are those in the media who loves to prey on the natural fears and discomfort of parents like that, and they will use this to get cash off in the form of spreading information that “every teenager is like, having sex out there!!! omg!!! you should totally panic!”

The truth is, not every teenager has sex, much less drink, etc…. in fact I myself didn't even do anything even remotely naughty until I was like 19. and I knew of many other people in my age group who was like that as well.

that's just the media makes it seem like every young person is sexually active, and of course this is an ploy to make money off overreacting parents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
Kristen Gudsnuk at 1:21AM, May 5, 2009
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Loud_G
However, now if you type in a web address just slightly wrong, you get bombarded with images.

drunkfuck.com or drunkdick.com? I've typed in both of them by mistake… ; P
ironically, the “f” is next to the “d” and the “i” is next to the “u” on the keyboard…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:22PM
Product Placement at 1:36AM, May 5, 2009
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What about…. hotmale instead of hotmail. A common mistake to make for someone who speaks English as a second language.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
Kristen Gudsnuk at 4:36AM, May 5, 2009
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damn you, I just typed that in to see what would happen, and, and! now I can't concentrate on writing my paper…… O_o
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:22PM
Hakoshen at 7:40AM, May 5, 2009
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This reminds me of a case I had in my workload for two months (which is a very long time for CPI) and it all revolved around a lewd note a girl supposedly wrote to her boyfriend. They wanted to expel them both AND nail the parents for being inadequate caretakers.

Personally I find all this demonizing of sex to be ridiculous. I say if you want to avoid letting something potentially become a problem them the best way is to educate people about it. Ever put a fork in a light socket? Exactly, because you were properly educated about it, and if you did well congrats for surviving. As far as criminalizing kids essentially being kids, well that's just even worse.

However, while I agree that the internet has made getting anything infinitely easier than it used to be, there was zero problem getting porn in the old days. As a kid, it was nothing to go to a gas station and check out, hell even BUY a porno magazine sine they were on the front of the magazine rack and not even wrapped in plastic. But then again, this is Louisiana. We're frakkin' crazy.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:41PM
Product Placement at 6:03AM, May 15, 2009
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You know…. I was just going over this comic and this felt so relevant to post here. I'd always wondered about the negative effects from promoting chastity until marriage.


http://www.shortpacked.com

Who knew that purity balls were of the evil?
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
Orin J Master at 8:48AM, May 15, 2009
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megan_rose
This whole thing is silly. We're biologically adults at age 12-14, but not legally adults until 18.

i wouldn't lump “capable of proper reproduction” in with being adult, really.

anyways, from an certain standpoint i understand where this is coming from. more parent nowadays are too absorbed with their own lives to take particular notice of their kids until there's a problem, and they want the kids to sit on the whole puberty thing until they've figured out a way to discuss it that will make the kid see everything their way.

this doesn't work, of course. differing orientations aside, kids might see how they want their personal relationships working very differently from the parents, possibly with good cause. this doesn't matter to said parents that really just want the kid to grow up how they want them.

in practice however it's really a royal mess. you can't really institute a mandatory sexual awareness class in this social climate because people WILL rant that you're stepping on their rights as a parent, but at the same time you can't rely on those same parents not to neglect those rights and as a result their kids.

and this is all without dragging the elephant that's the hyper-sexualizing media engine into the room.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:22PM
oldguy85 at 4:21AM, May 24, 2009
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I wonder why more teenagers aren't responding?
Bottom line is if it doesn't belong to you leave it the hell alone.
No I don't mean minors I mean adult authority figures and parents. It is not
your mind your body or your sexuality. Talking to your kids about sex will only creep them out!
Your kids will out wit, out play, and outlast you because they know you better than you know them. If you don't get ‘em while their young (instruct them in aspects of life) then you’ve probably already lost them. I gotta go because when people start analyzing shit, common sense leaves the room. Regards, Later Man.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
Orin J Master at 3:58PM, May 24, 2009
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oldguy85
I wonder why more teenagers aren't responding?

because they're teenagers, and therefore so sure that they know how things will work out in their favor they don't realize there's really no way it will play out the way they want it to.

of course, all these people trying to save them from their own stupidity aren't helping. neither is the internet. they really should requite an IQ test for the internet……
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:22PM
HippieVan at 7:02PM, May 24, 2009
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Orin J Master
oldguy85
I wonder why more teenagers aren't responding?

because they're teenagers, and therefore so sure that they know how things will work out in their favor they don't realize there's really no way it will play out the way they want it to.

of course, all these people trying to save them from their own stupidity aren't helping. neither is the internet. they really should requite an IQ test for the internet……

Wow, that was nice. Who exactly are you referring to when you say “their own stupidity?” If that's a generalisation about teenagers, then I can tell you that I am pretty offended and would appreciate an apology. If not, then that requires some more explanation.
Anyways, I'm a teenager. And this whole thing is silly silly silly. I have no other way to put it. There is nothing wrong with sex, or with kids wanting to learn about it. Making that seem like a bad thing is what is giving us teens/kids the wrong view of sex, making it seem like something we can do to be rebellious and make our parents mad. It shouldn't be like that. Not at all.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 7:30PM, May 24, 2009
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Y'know, I could debate that teenagers aren't having sex just because they want to anger their parents all night, but I live in Trenton. Here, the kids actually do have sex to anger their parents. It's possible that it's places like this that brought the whole ‘sex fear’ thing.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:56PM
Dojo at 7:09PM, May 27, 2009
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Ah, we get to the subject of sex. I think since we are so informed on STIs and other bad concequences of unsafe sex that people are afraid to let a child know that it is okay to feel the way they do. When someone is ready, they should have sex. School's should go into more depth into teaching safe sex, and yes continue stressing the concequences of it, for a fair balance. Sex shouldn't be taken as casually as it is, taking away the significance of it. But we're forgetting the sex drive here, some teens have such an intense desire that this cannot simply be ignored. And since a thirteen year old girl can't just walk into a porn store and purchase a dildo, what else would she turn to?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:13PM
Dojo at 7:34PM, May 27, 2009
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By the way. I am a teenager, so my opinion may be biased because of this.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:13PM

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