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Bad premise for a film
ozoneocean at 3:29AM, April 9, 2010
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This guy really likes this girl, so he agrees to babysit her younger sister for a night…

But for some HILARIOUS reason, he loses her! O__O
The rest of the night follows him on his hi-jinx and adventures as he tries to et her back before his wanna-be girlfriend comes back for her.
-Set in the 80s, with an 80s pop soundtrack.

Kick-arse! :):):):)
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I'm sure you've seen enough films with a shizzy premise to be able to easily top that one. Have a go, it's almost fun.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:36PM
skoolmunkee at 8:30AM, April 9, 2010
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One guy's life is a middle aged failure. He has a bad suit and toupee, his wife divorced him but always seems to be around to see his humiliating moments and tell him what ‘his problems’ are. He finds a pyramid scheme which he really gets into, but in order to progress he needs to bring someone to the meeting. So he goes out looking for someone worse than himself who will be willing to go with him. He has to borrow the pyramid scheme boss's car to do this.

So, he meets the younger guy. The younger guy is an even bigger failure, whose life is currently comprised of dancing awkwardly around his motel room home (his mom owns the motel) to a classical dirge and squeaking his dead cat's squeaky toy. He wears platform shoes and tight stripy pants and has big frizzy hair. his mom threatens to kick him out unless he brings home a friend. He agrees to go with the first guy to the meeting, on one condition:

Young guy shows first guy the dead cat in his fridge. his cat was killed in a swimming pool toy motorboat waterskiing incident. He wants to bury his cat, but needs to find the ‘right’ place.

They end up stranded in the Utah desert, delirious and at each other's throats, unlikely to make the meeting and with a thawed cat in an igloo cooler.



One of my favorite movies ever.
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:43PM
ozoneocean at 8:55AM, April 9, 2010
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Mine's a crappy Corey Haim failure, yours is the next Cohen Brothers masterpiece.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:36PM
Chernobog at 10:33AM, April 9, 2010
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I'm not going to summarize the entire movie, but have you ever seen Repo Man (1984) with Emilio Estevez? I love B Movies, but years later, I still have no idea where to even begin with that film. I swear, it's akin to watching two separate movies. I liked the grittier beginning part, but the second half just has me tilting my head and furrowing my brow in a vain Ralph Wiggum-like attempt to understand the situation.
 
 
“You tell yourself to just
enjoy the process,” he added. “That whether you succeed or fail, win or
lose, it will be fine. You pretend to be Zen. You adopt detachment, and
ironic humor, while secretly praying for a miracle.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:41AM
ozoneocean at 11:57AM, April 9, 2010
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Chernobog
I'm not going to summarize the entire movie, but have you ever seen Repo Man (1984) with Emilio Estevez?
Yup. Seen it. It's weird and strange…

But I'm talking about making up your own premise,here, just for the hell of it- not necessarily based on any actual film. ;)
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:36PM
alwinbot at 12:24PM, April 9, 2010
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Old Native American situation, except set in the future. And all the native Americans are blue.
Read this comic. It is the greatest journal comic ever written and drawn. Trust me.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:50AM
Hawk at 1:23PM, April 9, 2010
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Okay, it's the near future. And Japan's solution to dealing with the rise in unruly high-school students is to take the nation's worst class to an island and have them fight to the death until only one student is left. They've all been tagged with explosive necklaces, so if they don't fight each other, they'll all die in three days.

I'm sure most of you have seen Battle Royale, and I would understand if you argued that the premise was awesome. But to me, it's such an ineffective and unrealistic solution to misbehaving students. However, it's the students' believable reactions to the situation that really sold it for me. I ended up watching with deep interest and enjoyment, silly as the premise may be.

alwinbot
Old Native American situation, except set in the future. And all the native Americans are blue.

LOL!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:47PM
skoolmunkee at 2:49PM, April 9, 2010
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ozoneocean
Mine's a crappy Corey Haim failure, yours is the next Cohen Brothers masterpiece.

Haha, for some reason I thought we were describing real movies. Mine is called Rubin and Ed. I can't make up stuff that good. :[
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:43PM
Lonnehart at 6:49PM, April 9, 2010
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Don't know if this fits… Midnight Madness. Five teams of people searching for clues left by an eccentric rich guy (I think). Not sure about the others but one team consisted of the film's main character and his friends, that character's rival and his overweight buddies, and a bunch of jocks.

I need to watch that movie again…

One of the clues could be found between two HUGE MELONS… in a diner…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:39PM
mlai at 10:36PM, April 9, 2010
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A ninja master from outer space wants to conquer earth. In order to do so, he throws a fighting tournament for no explicable reason. 80% of the fighters turn out to be women with breast implants, actual fighting ability is optional.
When things start to slow down, throw in a bunch of space ninjas. Maybe a robot. Or a dinosaur. Or a kangaroo. Then end the film before anybody notices how stupid it is.

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
therealtj at 1:10PM, April 10, 2010
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The Sound of Music: In Space. And they have to evade the Astro-Nazis.

“The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.”
-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At the End of the Universe
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
isukun at 4:28PM, April 10, 2010
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Mlai's makes me think of Tekken. All it needs is a wrestler with the head of a jaguar and a couple of bears.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Dark Pascual at 6:03PM, April 10, 2010
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Daikatana: The Movie.

Directed by UWE BOLL, BITCH!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:07PM
isukun at 8:12PM, April 10, 2010
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ANYTHING directed by Uwe Boll is a bad premise for a film. Luckily, they changed the tax codes in Germany, so he has a bit more trouble funding his films, now. It kind of makes me wonder, though, if the man isn't really some sort of secret genius who purposely made shit movies just to help wealthy German industrialists get massive tax breaks. Why does “Springtime for Hitler” come to mind?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Dark Pascual at 10:16PM, April 10, 2010
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I liked the legend/joke that he funded his movies with Nazi Gold…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:07PM
DAJB at 3:05AM, April 11, 2010
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Take a popular graphic novel. Any one.
Change the story. Completely.
Introduce at least one US character even if there wasn't one in the original.
Make any female character in the book a foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, gun-toting bad-ass. Even if she originally seemed to have stepped out of the pages of a Jane Austen novel.
Make any Oriental character in the book an expert in all forms of Oriental martial arts. And a philosopher.
Change the sex and ethnicity of any other characters at random.
Change the story. Again.
Add explosions at ten minute intervals.

Sit back and wonder why fans of the graphic novel are staying away in droves!


last edited on July 14, 2011 12:04PM
isukun at 8:28AM, April 11, 2010
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Changing the story, characters, and whatnot of a graphic novel won't necessarily make a film a bad premise. It just won't be popular with the fans of the graphic novel. Since that's the minority of viewers, anyway, that won't necessarily kill the movie or make it bad. Granted some of the cliches in there can bring a movie down, but your emphasis seems to be on changing things.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Product Placement at 10:28AM, April 11, 2010
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Two teenage deucebags (Played by Pauly Shore and Dana Carvey (who are way to old to play believable teenagers)) accidentally go on a tour through an old fallout bunker from the cold war era when a faulty alarm system goes off, believing that a nuclear war has started. The bunker goes on a lockdown mode with a time clock set for 50 years and everyone inside believes that the world has ended.

Hilarity ensues.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:52PM
Ryuthehedgewolf at 3:48PM, April 11, 2010
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A badass pimp who's hoes are actually super enhanced zombie mutants, and the zombie mutants turn on the pimp, and the pimp is forced to exterminate them all.


Only problem is, the pimp has sworn not to kill anymore, and there's at least 2,000 hoes.

Soundtrack would be provided by Snoop Dogg and Eminem.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:16PM
elektro at 8:49AM, April 12, 2010
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Ryuthehedgewolf
A badass pimp who's hoes are actually super enhanced zombie mutants, and the zombie mutants turn on the pimp, and the pimp is forced to exterminate them all.


Only problem is, the pimp has sworn not to kill anymore, and there's at least 2,000 hoes.

Soundtrack would be provided by Snoop Dogg and Eminem.

Make the pimp voiced by Katt Williams, and you got yourself a summer blockbuster…or a Boondocks episode.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:21PM
EssayBee at 10:23AM, April 12, 2010
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Since Hollywood has been on a remake craze for years now . . .

How about a remake of Ishtar, starring Tom Green and Martin Lawrence.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:22PM
Dark Pascual at 11:03AM, April 12, 2010
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EssayBee
Since Hollywood has been on a remake craze for years now . . .

How about a remake of Ishtar, starring Tom Green and Martin Lawrence.

Oh… Shitty remakes, love those!!!

A remake of Chaplin's “The Kid”, with Jim Carey as The Tramp and some annoying pre-teen Disney actor that is popular at the moment as The Kid. Featuring Morgan Freeman as a wise black man that wasn't in the original movie but they add anyway…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:07PM
ParkerFarker at 5:23AM, April 16, 2010
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Alright, alright, I was gonna try and remember some of those incredibly bad movies I love but seeing how we make our own bad premises…

So, this is some Victorian period piece.

nah, I'll make a longer bad premise.

I'm gonna go for the 80s vibe here. There's a black catholic man and white muslim man. They hate each other. But, they witness some sort of brutal murder (terrible effects) when they both show up on the wrong night to a fancy dress party. They flee the scene stumbling over themselves in their goofy costumes. The murderers see them and proceed to try and murder them too. But the two men manage to enter the sewerage system. Racist and religious jokes and stereotypes are being thrown around this whole time, by the way. Whilst in the sewers the two men are exposed to toxic waste materials. For the rest of the movie The pair begin to like each other and believe themselves to be toxic superheroes; they're not, but because of their costumes and sudden confidence due to their belief of superhuman powers, they scare their foes into defeat. However in the big climax, the main bad guy disproves their superhuman powers leading the two men to use their strength and cunning to win the day.

After reading that over it's more of a plot description than premise, but I don't really want to delete any of that.

“We are in the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.” - Blackadder
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:39PM
ImaginaryGirl at 12:04AM, April 19, 2010
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Hmm. A sci fi movie written by George Lucas, directed by Ewe Bohl, and co-starring Nicholas Cage and William Shatner.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:57PM
Mitaukano at 10:16AM, April 23, 2010
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mlai
A ninja master from outer space wants to conquer earth. In order to do so, he throws a fighting tournament for no explicable reason. 80% of the fighters turn out to be women with breast implants, actual fighting ability is optional.
When things start to slow down, throw in a bunch of space ninjas. Maybe a robot. Or a dinosaur. Or a kangaroo. Then end the film before anybody notices how stupid it is.

I'd see that movie for the same reason I saw “Ultra Violet” Mila Jokavich's a**. That is all that was in, and all that the movie had going for it.


Premise -
It is the FUTURE. And s**t has become fubar'd. Water is dirty, the forest is dirty, and your socks? Those are dirty too. People have diseases zombie's who aren't really zombies but sick folk, and bears roam the streets willy-nilly. All the people who are germ and bear free live and hang out on the internet, which has become a living thing in itself. It makes it's own babies/programs now. Enter our protagonist, who though he has been living in this heck hole his whole life decides to do something about it when he meets the mysterious woman who is in charge of the resistance.
Insert genetically modified by the government Panda bear here with a quirky name like “Randy” and you have yourself the next coming attraction this summer.

For the soundtrack it's a mishmash of 18 different versions of Sandstorm by Darude and heavy metal.

Enjoy.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:05PM
alwinbot at 2:40PM, April 23, 2010
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Ok. So, another great premise for a film.


There's a giant dinosaur island. Researchers go there. Dinosaurs escape! 1/4 of them get eaten. The rest escape. The end.
Read this comic. It is the greatest journal comic ever written and drawn. Trust me.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:50AM
BffSatan at 6:38AM, April 24, 2010
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It is a movie with Miley Cyrus AND Paris Hilton in it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
The Gravekeeper at 10:26AM, April 24, 2010
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Take a weird little American creature feature with a prominent plant/magic theme and have an Italian production company make an unofficial sequel to it. The original movie had one mythical creature as its main antagonist as well as providing the movie's title, so go ahead and keep that title for distribution to one area even though the sequel does not have that creature and makes no mention of it. Keep the idea of people turning into plants, too, since that happened in the original as well. The villains have to be vegan extremists, so of course they're defeated by a kid eating a balogna sandwich that the ghost of his grandfather gave him. Oh yeah, did I mention that this kid's grandfather keeps trying to warn him about the danger? ‘Cuz that happens. A lot.

Write it so that the plot has nothing to do with the original. Good! Now have a crew that doesn’t speak a word of English even though this movie is being filmed in English, and make the cast read their lines exactly as written. Oh, and don't cast a single decent actor.

…wait. That was just “Troll 2.” And yes, “Troll 3” (both of them!) carried on the tradition of having nothing really to do with its predecessor.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:14PM
TheMidge28 at 2:53PM, May 2, 2010
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Here's one:
Time for post modern turn on eighties/nineties high school romance comedies…

There's a new kid at school. Family just moved from out of town. Military.
Kid is a jock. Super atheletic. Straight A's. College Prep. Handsome and charming. Dresses like he stepped out of an A&F ad. The ideal of eighties/nineties perfection. All the girls want him. Until he sees this hawt nerd girl. She hangs with the chess club and a bunch of LARPers. Mix in some goth-ness for good measure and she is bi-polar and a heroin user. But he wants to get with her. So he befriends a nerd in Biology class who is his lab partner to give him a nerd makeover. Lab partner is a gay guy nerd. But as he goes through all the trials and tribulations of becoming a nerd to get with her he realizes he is falling for his lab partner who has secretly adored the jock ever since he moved to town.
Oh the hilarities!
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:25PM
Chernobog at 6:52PM, May 2, 2010
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The critically acclaimed pretentious SoHo art house film that only the smart people ‘get’.

“Rotting of the Egg”

Two hours of film sped up from several weeks of a recording of an egg placed in a goblet. We watch the egg reign from its shiny whiteness to a decomposing pile of sulfur and fetidness. Meanwhile, a college age young woman does a voice over in bad Alan Ginsberg style poetry, drearily lamenting the wasted potential of life and all that could have been.

“You could have been a chicken, but then too, you would have ended in a prepackaged drumstick meal on a fat child's plate. Perhaps the farmer was wise to spare you this fate. But do you love he who stymies you, nay… suppresses you? Or do you appreciate the merciful state of unawakened genesis you were forever locked in… to die. Unfulfilled. Blah blah blah wilting flowers bleh meh Sword of Damocles…”

And to top it off, a 10 minute credit sequence with a behind the scenes look as well as a trailer for the artist's next film, “Musings of the Elderly Poor”.
 
 
“You tell yourself to just
enjoy the process,” he added. “That whether you succeed or fail, win or
lose, it will be fine. You pretend to be Zen. You adopt detachment, and
ironic humor, while secretly praying for a miracle.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:41AM

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