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Badge of Silence: The ON FIREst movie I've ever seen
Inkmonkey at 5:51PM, June 21, 2009
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I had considered putting this in media discussion, but honestly it's a little too crazy for that place.

“Badge of Silence: Maniac Cop 3”: I have to wonder if this movie would have made any more sense if I had seen Maniac Cops 1 and 2. Okay, so, this police officer who died in the most awesome way ever (he was caught in a prison riot where he was set on fire, then tackled some dude so hard he BROKE THROUGH THE BRICK PRISON WALL, landed on a bus (still on fire) and then the bus EXPLODED) is brought back to life for, presumably, the third time. This time he was brought back to life in order to clear the name of a fellow officer who is framed for messing up a hostage situation at a pharmacy: it was an inside job, the hostage was in on it, fired on the police officer, who shot her in the face. Anyway, a couple of unscrupulous news guys shoot it in such a way that it looks like she just shot the hostage for no reason (oh, the police officer is a woman. That becomes important later).

So anyway, Maniac Cop is brought back to life to clear her name. Except not really, because he's clearly alive and doing stuff before the hostage situation actually comes up. Preemptive ressurection? Anyway, he's a super strong zombie cop with a sword inside his night stick for no adequately explained (or addressed) reason.

The movie putters along for about an hour or so. The framed officer is in a vegetative state which she'll likely never recover from, and her old partner is trying to clear her name. Normal stuff. Except that the zombie guy shows up and starts brutally murdering anyone who's ever wronged her. And, well… pretty much anyone that's been kind of a jerk onscreen too, really. Like, there's this one surgeon who's biggest crime is being a bit of a douche and being pretty nonchalant about the fact that she's as good as dead, what with her spinal cord damage and all. Maniac Cop gives that fucker a couple thousand volts from a Defribulator (and not that Defibrulator's aren't already dangerous, but pretty much anything MC touches becomes a deadly weapon. He actually X-Ray's a dude to death in a matter of minutes).

So all that nonsense goes on for a while, until Maniac cop gives a gun to the psycho criminal who was holding up the pharmacy in the first place, using the ruckus to steal away the framed cop. Cop's partner takes out the maniac, chases down Maniac Cop accompanied by Dr. Love Interest (or as we took to calling her, “Dr. Legs”, because that was her best feature). They end up in a church, where it's revealed that Maniac Cop actually went through all this trouble so female cop could be ressurected by some voodoo guy as well and be his bride! Er… what? Ahem, anyway, so… yeah. That doesn't work out, MC gets pissed, shoots voodoo, and somehow catches himself and now-dead cop on fire. Then begins a slow, ridiculous chase scene while Detective DeadGirlsPartner and Dr. Legs scramble, seemingly tripping over nothing as they head for a different door than the one they came in from (which, by the way, was much closer). The door is locked, but apparently churches just aren't built like they used to be, and Detective Stumbles manages to break it down.

Okay, so, the plot (such as it is) is all wrapped up, and the characters hop an ambulance back to the hospital. A bit of a dull ending, but hey, what else is there to do? And that's when I noticed that there should still be at least 15 more minutes before the movie ends. What could they possibly do to pad this so long? How about have Maniac Cop (still ON FIRE by the way) chase them down in a police car! Now, this is the part of the movie I actually wanted to talk about. Seriously, this car chase lasts just a bit less than 15 minutes, and MC is on fire the ENTIRE time! And just so you know, his CAR isn't on fire, just him. Why his car isn't on fire is anyone's guess. Hell, I'm just impressed that this scene lasted as long as it did. Even with fireproofing, a stuntman can't be set aflame for all that long, so it must have taken forever to do the shooting for this. Not to mention that I really don't know how long a car can safely run with somebody ON FIRE in the damn thing. They must have gone through about a dozen cop cars in this scene.

Right, so, anyway, despite the fact that one of the characters is aflame the entire time, this whole chase is actually pretty boring. They're on the highway throughout, so it's not like there's a lot of twists and turns to deal with. Maniac Cop's whole strategy seems to be “drive the exact same speed as them, smash arm through window, hang on to side of car”. I'm not sure what happened to his sword/nightstick from earlier, but it certainly would have helped him deal with the fatal flaw of “them moving to the other side of their vehicle”. Meanwhile, Dr. Legs just screams and basically makes a nuisance of herself, while Detective Manjaw just shoots Maniac Cop. Being a zombie (who is ON FIRE), this has no effect whatsoever. So, of course, Detective Deadeye Just. Keeps. Shooting. Him! He even asks Dr. Legs to take over the wheel so he can RELOAD SO HE CAN SHOOT MORE AT HIM. Eventually (and I mean Waaaaaaaaay eventually) he looks in the back of the ambulance and notices an oxygen tank Dr. Legs was using earlier after coming out of the burning church. He climbs in the back, and spends what feels like forever holding the tank out of the window waiting for a good chance to throw it at Maniac Cop. Finally he throws the damn thing into the back seat of MC's car, which is JUST NOW starting to catch fire (at least ten minutes into this chase). And then it just kinda… sits there. For a long time. At least Detective Braintrust has stopped shooting at him at this point.

So, with Dr. Legs at the wheel, MC has no trouble catching the car and nefariously gripping the passenger side door really, really hard. And they kind of go like that for a while. It's not like they try to hit his hand with a blunt object or anything. They just kind of accept the fact that it's there and keep driving. Eventually they manage to come up on a railroad crossing, and drive past the warning sign so it literally severs MC's arm. In his defense, though, his arm is polite enough to not set their car on fire or really pose any kind of threat in any way. Their car gets flipped over, the Maniac Cop turns around to ram them, and then the movie remembers the oxygen tank in the backseat. It FINALLY blows up, and it seems that the hospital accidentally filled it with C-4 because, goddamn, if those things were that dangerous I don't think they'd let old people take them on planes.

Dr. Legs freaks out some more, but Detective Badass just picks up the flaming hand (and you thought the movie had forgotten all about it, didn't you?) and uses it to light his cigarette. All this madness ends with a shot of the morgue, and what is presumably Maniac Cop grabs the hand of what is presumably framed cop's charred corpse.

In all honesty, this movie had me constantly asking one of two questions: “What?” and “Why?” There's a LOT of ridiculousness I left out. The longer it went the more I started to doubt that this movie was actually happening. I woke up this morning assuming I had dreamed the whole thing, but I've got an IMDB page for it open, so it's out there somewhere. Right now I'm just debating with myself as to whether or not I want to watch the first two…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
ozoneocean at 12:58AM, June 23, 2009
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I am reading this review, WHILE ON FIRE! :gem:


Isn't Manic Cop played by that weird looking actor with the gigantic Jaw? I remember reading about him a while ago… He played a mad prisoner in Tango and Cash and they even made a joke about his huge jaw as part of the script.
…Yeah, the actor himself seemed an interesting guy, but those films are very representative of how stupid zombie films usually are, despite the resurrected romanticised reimagined fad for them of the past decade or so.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:34PM
Custard Trout at 6:04AM, June 23, 2009
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Inkmonkey
“Badge of Silence: Maniac Cop 3”: I have to wonder if this movie would have made any more sense if I had seen Maniac Cops 1 and 2.

No. They're. . . they're all crazy.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:02PM
ozoneocean at 7:19AM, June 23, 2009
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That's him. What an amazing face, It's natural too. His name is Robert Z'Dar. The Manic Cop.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:34PM
Inkmonkey at 5:04PM, June 23, 2009
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Okay, I saw the second movie (largely because I read online that Bruce Campbell is in it), and it was a lot better. It was still completely ridiculous and kind of annoying, but it seemed to have a better idea of what kind of movie it was. Though the Campbell factor wasn't as big a deal as I thought it would be, as he's the first named character to be killed.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
ozoneocean at 11:54PM, June 23, 2009
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posts: 24,958
joined: 1-2-2004
That's because Z'Dar pwns Campbell.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:34PM

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