“I am a disease. A whirlwind of blinding potential juxtaposed against crippling anxiety and failure. My world is a dying one. My dreams are bleak and mournful. I am every white male suburbanite with the world at his fingertips. All I have is future, bright and lovely. All I need is an opportunity. All I want… is you.”

Hello Drunk Duck. It's been quite some time. Did you miss me? I missed you. Ever so much.

I am a pedantic, misogynist, anti-theist with a penchant for the absurd and morose. I write unimaginative pseudo dramatic poppycock with the intention of alienating myself from the everyday, the benign modern dance of the mundane.

If you don't like watching people self destruct and commit moral suicide with every click of a page. Stay away from me. I probably wouldn't like you anyway.

Best wishes XOXO,
Charlie

Welcome Back, Would You Like A Cold Hot Cola?

I don't know why you think that is so funny. Explain it to me. If your answer is “it's a meme” you are wrong.

Have you the Brain Worms?

Sorry, we already have a troll.

Well if you are referring to me as the troll. You are mistaken. The recurring jokes I see on these forums do not make sense to me as they seem to contain a level of humor one might find at a summer camp. I was inquiring as to the depth of the joke, I'd like to believe that it contains something more than an oxymoron.

I merely asked a question and you quite rudely dismissed it.


Best wishes XOXO,
Charlie

I was referring to your opening post, not your reply to Dark Clown.

It's creative advertising. My work is dark and abrasive. I think advertising myself like this is a positive given that fact.

I don't really know you or your work but if the sticky about deleting posts was accurate… I suppose you fancy yourself a troll then? I have two words for you:

Lurk Moar.

And not here. DD will teach you nothing about trolling.

If not, I hope you have a wonderful evening.


Best wishes XOXO,
Charlie

Welcome, Charlie.
I'd normally say “Stop fighting, Custard!” but uh, you go right ahead.

charlie_everyone
It's creative advertising. My work is dark and abrasive. I think advertising myself like this is a positive given that fact.

No, your work is a series of MS Paint doodles and huge blocks of text.

charlie_everyone
I don't really know you or your work but if the sticky about deleting posts was accurate… I suppose you fancy yourself a troll then? I have two words for you:

Lurk Moar.

And not here. DD will teach you nothing about trolling.

Coughhumormancough.

No, I'm not a troll. I just like to draw people into pointless arguments on the internet and laugh at them wasting their time trying to ‘win’.

. . .

Oh.

Mediocre troll is mediocre.


Best wishes XOXO,
Charlie

See, you know you suck when your only defence is spouting stupid memes.

That was humorous. Truly. Sort of a double bluff correct? Well I'm hoping it was because otherwise it was just silly to say.

I really enjoy arguing over the tubes. I do, uh huh, I really do. If you want a battle of attrition I guarantee you will lose horribly. You see, I have a massive trust fund and don't have to work. I can spend all day and night debating you then when I'm tired of that I'll go meet some women and have a splendid evening. I've been trolling since before you knew if you had stairs in your house. There is no winner in this fight. The adage is true, you cannot troll a troll. However, I get to sit here in smug satisfaction over my fantastic life. I choose to waste my time here. You probably have nothing better to do.


Best wishes XOXO,
Charlie

charlie_everyone
I choose to waste my time here. You probably have nothing better to do.

The fact that you are actually choosing to waste your life arguing on the internet is far sadder than having nothing better to do.

I like how you have an autobiographical ‘comic’ when you admit that your life is completely devoid of any kind of. . . well, anything.

Understanding the world around you brings tremendous grief. Additionally in four pages I feel that I have given more than adequate character development. If you cared to read some of my glorious musings in the comment section you will see that I have not decided to actually recount my fantastic adventures so much as muse lazily about my opinions of life.

I am great. Awe inspiring. I behemoth of thought. Suck it.

I argue because I like it. This is fun for me. It's like crack. I did not mean to start this fight, but rest assured I am too amused to let our fun simply die.


Blissfully wishing you a not to die a horrifying death at the hands of auto erotic asphyxiation,
Charlie

charlie_everyone
Understanding the world around you brings tremendous grief. Additionally in four pages I feel that I have given more than adequate character development. If you cared to read some of my glorious musings in the comment section you will see that I have not decided to actually recount my fantastic adventures so much as muse lazily about my opinions of life.

I am great. Awe inspiring. I behemoth of thought. Suck it.

No one cares about your opinion on life, and I didn't read your obnoxious essay length comments. You are not great, awe-inspiring, or a behemoth of thought. You are a nerd on the internet.

charlie_everyone
I argue because I like it. This is fun for me. It's like crack. I did not mean to start this fight, but rest assured I am too amused to let our fun simply die.

That's pretty damn pathetic, if your life is so empty that you need to argue on the internet.

Ok. That was funny, I admit it. I lol'd.

If I'm a nerd… A nerd that was minding his own business mind you. Then you, who on a very user friendly site decided it was a good idea to start throwing around troll speak, and poorly I might add, must be like some kind of WIZARD!!! Can you turn me into a whale? I've heard that it is awesome.

Until after you read it for yourself I never asked you to read my comic. The fact that you do not care about my opinions is irrelevant. There are literally thousands of comics on this site that no one ever reads. It's part of the risk of the Internets. This is my blog. You do not have to like it.

I have established I am familiar with troll culture. Using threatening language and insults on me is like shooting a care bare with love bullets. It does nothing. Be more creative in the future.

Do you think you are funny? Charming? I assure you that you are nothing of the sort. You are a very boring troll and if you ever went to ban-town in its prime, guess what they would do? If you guessed mock you mercilessly and then ban you then you are correct! you win a prize! The prize! You get to go outside!

I love you so much XOXO,
Charlie

Alright, kids, I'm calling mandatory truce now. Custard, go sit in your corner. Charlie, I'm getting the hose, and you're gonna take the spankings like a man. =]

Tis a pleasure to receive punishment from the best my dear.


Delightfully yours,
Charlie

charlie_everyone
Blah blah blah.

I didn't start slinging around troll speak, I said that we already had a troll, who you might possibly be an alt of, now that I think about it. You're the one who's being unimaginative with your ‘du you liek mudkips’ and your ‘lurk moars’.

Can someone lock this? I do not wish to be visited by the wrath of mods and have grown bored of arguing with an infant.

Yes I lied, twisted truths, and blatantly manipulated you for page views. I win.


You just lost THE GAME,
Charlie

charlie_everyone
Can someone lock this? I do not wish to be visited by the wrath of mods and have grown bored of arguing with an infant.

Yes I lied, twisted truths, and blatantly manipulated you for page views. I win.

Page views that have no guarantee of coming back, ever. Page views that would have come from other places in the forum, because only about three people give a shit about the introduction forum.

I got a reaction from you, you fought back, and that's what I was hoping for. And now you're giving up, because you know you can't make me shut up.

This is my final reply.

You are a troll. Trolls by there very nature never, EVER, give up. Milking the lulz is what it's all about. I had a good time, you had a good time. We were asked to stop, I have no interest in continuing to debate with a demographic more stubborn than the religious.

You do not understand my motivation so your arguments are invalid. This is on purpose and is a standard trolling tactic. Troll 101 if you will. You tip your hat, you have tells. You are easy pickins.

We both win, but I win twice.


Suck on that my one true love,
Charlie

charlie_everyone
This is my final reply.

Like hell is it your final reply.

Your ‘motivation’ is exactly the same as mine, i.e. ‘milking the lulz’. You simply took a coincidence and turned into a trap which I fell right into, I'll admit that. I need to stop taking things at face value like that.

After you said you could keep it up for as long as you pleased, it's interesting that you're the one backing down. Publicly anyway, you're still PQing me.

=/