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Chuck Norris Made This Thread
Ally Haert at 9:47PM, April 24, 2011
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Underneath Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin. There's only another fist.
“No one can go back to start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending,” Maria Ross.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:49AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 4:38AM, April 25, 2011
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.

Forever.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
Product Placement at 9:58AM, April 25, 2011
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Ally Haert at 11:49AM, April 25, 2011
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Chuck Norris was born in a wood cabin he built. By hand.
“No one can go back to start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending,” Maria Ross.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:49AM
Genejoke at 12:36PM, April 25, 2011
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I shall fear no evil, for Chuck Norris is my saviour.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:34PM
ayesinback at 12:55PM, April 25, 2011
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Chuck Norris's first students were rocks. That's how they learned what solid is. Gibraltor was head of the class.
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 5:55PM, April 25, 2011
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God said “Let there be light”, Chuck Norris said: “Say Please…”
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
Product Placement at 7:30PM, April 25, 2011
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That's not Chuck Norris doing push ups. He's actually pushing Earth in order to save it from an incoming meteor.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 7:42PM, April 25, 2011
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris actually prevented the Kennedy Assasination by stopping the bullet with his bare hands. Unfortunately, JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
blindsk at 9:16PM, April 25, 2011
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Chuck Norris has no need for email. He runs there and tells you in person.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:25AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 11:46PM, April 25, 2011
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Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
AQua_ng at 5:53AM, April 26, 2011
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Chuck Norris is pretty strong I guess.

K.A.L.A-dan! Brigade Captain :D
K.A.L.A.-dan forums!
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:59AM
crocty at 1:16PM, April 26, 2011
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One time Chuck Norris was wanted for manslaughter. The police arrested him 1 week later and he was sentenced to life inprisonment with no parole. Chuck Norris was very disgruntled by this but accepted that he needed to pay for his actions, and hopes some day the man he killed's family can forgive him.

I am truly sorry for your lots.
THIS NEW SITE SUCKS I'M LEAVING FOREVER I PROMISE, GUYS.
NOT BLUFFING, I'M GONE IF YOU DON'T FIX IT.
Oh god I'm so alone someone pay attention to me
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:54AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 3:54PM, April 26, 2011
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How much wood could a wood chuck chuk if a wood chuck could chuck Norris?


All of it.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
dragonestea at 5:28PM, April 26, 2011
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There is no ctrl button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM
Ally Haert at 7:53PM, April 26, 2011
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The Guiness Book of World Records is only filled with things Chuck Norris didn't feel like taking credit for.
“No one can go back to start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending,” Maria Ross.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:49AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 2:31AM, April 27, 2011
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom, because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
dragonestea at 4:34AM, April 27, 2011
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM
ayesinback at 5:47AM, April 27, 2011
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Chuck Norris invented Dodgeball.

He invented the ball

He invented the circle
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
dragonestea at 7:11AM, April 27, 2011
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Here are some I came up with myself. I don't know if anyone else has already come up with any of them, but they seem obvious enough that there is a distinct possibility. If these are already existing jokes then it is purely coincidental.

Chuck Norris knows precicely how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.

When the groundhog sees it's shadow it means six more weeks of winter. When Chuck Norris saw his shadow he caused the last ice age.

In America Chuck Norris kicks your ass. In Soviet Russia Chuck Norris kicks your ass.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM
Lonnehart at 3:55PM, April 27, 2011
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*would make a comment about how Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Duke Nukem before going to sleep… but doesn't feel like flying Chuck Norris' “Pain Airlines”… via a very hard kick to the rear…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:39PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 6:33PM, April 27, 2011
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Don't be stupid, Chuck Norris isn't that gre–

*Rest of text lost due to freak Chuck Norris attack*
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
dragonestea at 7:05PM, April 27, 2011
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Why would you insult Chuck Norris? Only fools and/or vikings would ever be so dumb as to attempt to… hold on a second…
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 12:29AM, April 28, 2011
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.

These are also Chuck Norris' initials.

Coincidence? I think not.


hahaha Is this a case of “I see what you did thar” Dragonstea? ;)
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
itsjustaar at 2:16AM, April 28, 2011
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Chuck Norris has caught up with Thursday. He put Patrick back in his place without saying a word.

And that my friends is how the comic ends.
“Keeping Up with Thursday” - Updated Every 3 Days!
“ZombieToons Must Die” - hiatus. D:
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
bravo1102 at 2:46AM, April 28, 2011
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Chuck Norris once peed into the gas tank of a truck as a joke. That truck is now Optimus Prime

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris and Superman once had bet on who would win in a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes.

Chuck Norris was made an honorary Marine in 2007 like Bugs Bunny was in World War II.

If John Wayne wasn't in heaven all these Chuck Norris remarks would be about the Duke. After all John Wayne really did kick cancer's ass and Death really did have a near-John Wayne experience. (look it up)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:34AM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 3:42AM, April 28, 2011
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.

Too bad he's never cried.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
dragonestea at 4:27AM, April 28, 2011
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joined: 3-2-2011
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
[
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM
OnlyFoolsAndVikings at 4:42AM, April 28, 2011
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posts: 549
joined: 5-25-2010
The bogeyman checks under his bed each night for Chuck Norris.
of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I STROKE MY MOUSTACHE IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:21PM
dragonestea at 11:38AM, April 28, 2011
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posts: 62
joined: 3-2-2011
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM

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