Debate and Discussion

Does Religion define a person?
Aurora Moon at 6:52AM, Aug. 22, 2007
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Loud_G
Marriage is much easier when both people are of the same faith. Rearing children is one of the first problems that crops up in mixed faith households. Who's church will they go to? How will they be raised? These questions can potentially cause a lot of problems between a husband and wife. The only mixed faith relationships that I've seen that have worked exceedingly well (this is in my limited experience) are the ones where both parties either stopped going to church altogther, or one person joined their spouse's church.

Sure there are exceptions. And Love should be enough for anyone. But in the real world, love is often not enough for some people.

Also, to be noted, many churches frown on interfaith marriages. Some because of the strife that it introduces in the relationship and some because of the very nature of the family unit itself. In my own church we are merely recommended to seek out a same faith spouse.

you also have to consider that some faiths doesn't require churches at all. Take Buddhists or even some other Asian religions….they have temples, but not actual churches. The temples are more for going to pray to a god(s) or goddess(es) WHEN you FEEL like you NEED to.
As opposites to a church where you HAVE to go to during certain days, like Sundays, in order to listen to sermons, Or else.

So people who was of two different faiths that did not have churches, would have no problems over children needing to go to a place of worship… since such praying, worshiping are usually done at home.

Also, rearing children are nearly alike in ALL religions and beliefs on a very basic level.Take my examples:
A christain parent tells his/her child that it's wrong to lie, cheat, or hurt others.
A Buddhist parent tells his/her child that it's wrong to lie,cheat, or hurt others.
A pagan parent tells his/her child that it's wrong to lie,cheat, or hurt others.
Even a Atheist parent tells tells his/her child that it's wrong to lie,cheat, or hurt others.

So you see, regardless of the religion, Most parents try to raise their children to be decent people who does not lie much, cheat, hurt others or other immoral acts.
And at a basic level, nearly all religions actually AGREE on what's wrong in terms of how to treat your fellow man!

And that aside… IT IS POSSIBLE TO RAISE A CHILDREN TO BE GOOD PEOPLE WITHOUT NEEDING RELIGION BROUGHT INTO IT UNTIL THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH TO START CHOOSING THEIR RELIGION WITH A FULLY INFORMED MIND.
Most families who are of mixed faith often agrees that they will simply raise their children by the societial moral codes (the whole “it's wrong to lie, cheat, and hurt others” thing) instead of competely force-feeding their children their religous beliefs before they're old enough to really apperciate the idea of needing a religion.

Don't get offended here…But I always felt that it was wrong to make children go to church and to keep on feeding them religious information their whole lives.
Why? Because in essence you are making them believe in something when they are TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND WHY THEY SHOULD BELIEVE. And then they grow up to be UNBELIEVERS PRETENDING TO BE BELIEVERS.
Let me explain. They simply only mimic their parents' actions, their words and such,but it's all empty words without much meaning.
They don't TRULY believe because they NEVER got into opening their hearts and mind to god ON THEIR OWN. true believers are supposed to come to god on their own, rather than forced/pushed into it.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:10AM
Loud_G at 7:26AM, Aug. 22, 2007
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It is true the non-congregational faiths would be a little easier to mix. I had forgotten about that aspect of Buddism. (Silly me, having living in Taiwan).


As for raising children in your faith:

Don't worry, I'm not offended. You have every right to feel the way you feel. I don't feel that there is a need to avoid teaching your beliefs to your children. As long as your beliefs aren't that they should hunt down and kill/main/hurt sinners or non-believers.

I agree that everyone has to decide for themselves what they believe eventually. That is a very strong tenet in my faith and my church. Our church leaders stress finding out for yourself and not relying on the beliefs of others.

For this reason, in the case of my church at least, I see no problem in teaching children what we believe, but always with the reminder that they need to learn the truth for themself and not just mimic their parents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:45PM
neohobo at 4:55AM, Aug. 23, 2007
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with first impressions i beleve religion plays a big part, but when you get to know them, you see more into the personality of that person.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:10PM
nightlight at 1:43PM, Nov. 20, 2007
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Yeah it's a bit a late reply, but hey, I was inspired :D
Hope I don't offend anyone in this post. If I do, please don't take it personally. I'm from Europe :D

Aurora Moon
IT IS POSSIBLE TO RAISE A CHILDREN TO BE GOOD PEOPLE WITHOUT NEEDING RELIGION BROUGHT INTO IT UNTIL THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH TO START CHOOSING THEIR RELIGION WITH A FULLY INFORMED MIND.

Hey! my parents did that. And I am a nice person. But I grew up in this little city where pretty much everyone else is one of those Christians In Name Only that were mentioned before. And indeed, if those people would practise what they preach, they wouldn't have pestered me about not being christian when I was little, or tried to convince them that jesus will be sad and cry if I wouldn't get baptized right away.
Picture the look on my parents faces when I came home and told them THAT. :D
(I do think that Jesus is pretty cool..)


Now, I have some friends who CHOSE to be christian, instead of just getting raised that way, they experience it very conciously and personaly, and are even willing to go into serious discussion about it(!) Needless to say, I have a lot of respect for those people because they aren't fake, and have a commitement to something. As mentioned before, there are good and bad people in all religions and ways of thinking, and I guess that every word in the bible or the koran or whatever else, can be interpreted in a way that is tolerant, or intolerant to others.
What draws my attention, is that it mostly are those CINO's that are so pushy and agressive about their beliefs..


About relationships… I think compromise is a vital thing in every relationship, but especially the long term ones.. But compromise can be about anything right? for some couples, issues as smoking vs non smoking, differences in political convictions, ideas about family, or even “are we going to live close to your job or close to mine?” are more pressing than “religious vs atheist”. And hey, as a couple, you don't need to agree on everything right? I guess most couple have some or more MAJOR issues unresolved, yet they manage to spend their lives together and love eachother. Hooray for the power of love!.. ;)

Oh yeah..
Allan
I guess I'll just have to deal with it for now
It might blow over a bit.. Many young people are christian simply because their parents are.. even straying slightly from that path (by getting some atheist boyfriend for example) must be a scary thing to do when you are still figuring out who you are in the first place I guess..

When people grow up, with a little bit of luck they get more secure of who they are and what they believe in, and thus, more tolerant toward others, because they don't feel that different beliefs (or even personalities) threaten theirs.

Like one of my Catholic School Religion Teachers once said “you have to truly love (and respect) your own religion first, before you can love (and respect) that of another”
Now I think about it, she might have been quoting Ghandi or mother Theresa or so.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:16PM
kyupol at 3:23PM, Nov. 20, 2007
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YOU define who YOU are. Not religion. Not philosophy. Not anything. Unless you want x to define who you are.

(where x = religion/philosophy/nationality/race/achievement/ the list is endless lol )

NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
DAJB at 5:50AM, Nov. 21, 2007
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blntmaker
Being unequally yoked - Biblically speaking, if you're of a certain faith, you should ONLY seek dating/marriage relations with a person of the same faith. And that's NEW Testament (2 Corinthians I believe).or for someone.

Hey, I've learned a new term! There I was thinking I was a nice, normal atheist married to a nice normal Catholic and all this time it appears we've been unequally yoked. Wow.

I wouldn't mind but we only use the yoke on alternate weekends. The other times we just use handcuffs.
;)

Oh, and no religion doesn't define you. Unless you let it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:03PM
crazyninny at 10:45AM, Nov. 21, 2007
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My old best friend worshipped Satan, I'm a Christian, and she was the best friend a person could ever have. If she didn't have to move so far away, I'm pretty sure we'd still be best friends.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM
bobhhh at 11:18AM, Nov. 21, 2007
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crazyninny
My old best friend worshipped Satan, I'm a Christian, and she was the best friend a person could ever have. If she didn't have to move so far away, I'm pretty sure we'd still be best friends.

When you consider thay Fred Rogers and Pat Robertson are both protestants, just as Mother Teresa and the spanish Inquisition were both Catholic, it's obvious that actions speak louder than words.
My name is Bob and I approved this signature.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:29AM
crazyninny at 12:25PM, Nov. 21, 2007
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bobhhh
crazyninny
My old best friend worshipped Satan, I'm a Christian, and she was the best friend a person could ever have. If she didn't have to move so far away, I'm pretty sure we'd still be best friends.

When you consider thay Fred Rogers and Pat Robertson are both protestants, just as Mother Teresa and the spanish Inquisition were both Catholic, it's obvious that actions speak louder than words.

Eh? … Sorry, I don't catch what your saying. ^_^;
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM
horseboy at 1:10PM, Nov. 21, 2007
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First off, it sounds like the OP could use a *hug*. Being dumped is the definition of “teh suxxor”.

Second, I'm putting in the camp of there's a HUGE difference between being friends with some one, dating someone and living with some one, every day, day in and day out, for ever and ever and ever until you just want to strangle them in their sleep if they don't stop with the constant nagging about the God-Damned pot-luck next Wednesday night.
But no seriously, it's the little things that kill relationships. Religions carry a LOT of little things, especially if you or your partner are trying to be serious about their religion.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:50PM
Mister Mxyzptlk at 3:45PM, Nov. 21, 2007
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horseboy
Religions carry a LOT of little things, especially if you or your partner are trying to be serious about their religion.

I don't really like Dr. Laura all that much, she's kinda extreme. I just listen because it's like Jerry Springer Radio. “I been sleepin' with my daughters boyfriend and she found out about it and I just wanna know what I should do.” You just want to yell at that radio “Do you know who she is!!!”

But back to my point… I know I left it around here somewhere…

Oh yes. Dr. Laura is very down on cross religion marriages. She points out that you can't raise a child to be half Catholic and half Jewish. Or even half Catholic and half Protestant. I have to agree with her. My sister in law gave up the Catholic church and joined the Lutheran church of my brother so their kids wouldn't turn out any more screwed up that they already would for having me as an uncle. I made sure the woman I married was at least apathetic toward her families Catholicism before we got serious, a catholic/atheist child would be messed up pretty bad with mom dragging him to services while dad sits around on Sunday in his pajamas cursing about those damned bells always ringing…
My soul was removed to make room for all this sarcasm.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:04PM
bobhhh at 11:47AM, Nov. 22, 2007
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crazyninny
bobhhh
crazyninny
My old best friend worshipped Satan, I'm a Christian, and she was the best friend a person could ever have. If she didn't have to move so far away, I'm pretty sure we'd still be best friends.

When you consider thay Fred Rogers and Pat Robertson are both protestants, just as Mother Teresa and the spanish Inquisition were both Catholic, it's obvious that actions speak louder than words.

Eh? … Sorry, I don't catch what your saying. ^_^;

I'm saying that what you call yourself doesn't define you as much as your actions.
My name is Bob and I approved this signature.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:29AM
crazyninny at 7:17PM, Nov. 22, 2007
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bobhhh
crazyninny
bobhhh
crazyninny
My old best friend worshipped Satan, I'm a Christian, and she was the best friend a person could ever have. If she didn't have to move so far away, I'm pretty sure we'd still be best friends.

When you consider thay Fred Rogers and Pat Robertson are both protestants, just as Mother Teresa and the spanish Inquisition were both Catholic, it's obvious that actions speak louder than words.

Eh? … Sorry, I don't catch what your saying. ^_^;

I'm saying that what you call yourself doesn't define you as much as your actions.

… *Crocks her head to the side.* I'm really sorry, but I'm having a brain fart at the moment. Could you explain better what your saying? ^_^;
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM
bobhhh at 8:50PM, Nov. 22, 2007
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Ok. one more time :)

Fred Rogers, PBS's MR. Rogers is a Protestant. An honest, decent man who never did or said a bad thing to anyone, who devoted his life to making kids feel special.

Pat Robertson is a Protestant. He is a duplicitous, self serving, politcally manipulative bastard who Jesus himself wouldn't recognize as an adherent to the religion that bears his name.

2 men, one religion, but their actions are what define them as different human beings, not their denomination.

So you and your pal can still be friends, regardless of what you call yourselves, as long as you keep acting like friends.

My name is Bob and I approved this signature.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:29AM
crazyninny at 9:00PM, Nov. 22, 2007
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bobhhh
Ok. one more time :)

Fred Rogers, PBS's MR. Rogers is a Protestant. An honest, decent man who never did or said a bad thing to anyone, who devoted his life to making kids feel special.

Pat Robertson is a Protestant. He is a duplicitous, self serving, politcally manipulative bastard who Jesus himself wouldn't recognize as an adherent to the religion that bears his name.

2 men, one religion, but their actions are what define them as different human beings, not their denomination.

So you and your pal can still be friends, regardless of what you call yourselves, as long as you keep acting like friends.



Ah! I see now!

… I didn't know that Mr. Rogers had a first name… I was paying more attention to the crafts than his frist name.
But dude, only he, and he only, can wear sweaters as cool as he can.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:48AM

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