You're sitting at home at your computer desk writing a post on a forum, when suddenly you piss someone off online. That person develops a deep-seethed grudge against you and vows to take your life, one way, or the other. Eventually that same person invents a machine that stabs people over the internet. The next time you go to your desk, your computer shatters the desk and you are stabbed by millions of shards of wood.


Object: a one-dollar bill.

You foolishly tell a bum you have this dollar bill, who then steals it from you.
As you shamefully walk home… you look sad, you go to sleep, wake up, live another day, go home sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep…then one day out of the corner of your eye you spy a one dollat bill sitting on the ground, you bend down to pick it up, and you pull a muscel. you limp home ifnoring the pain and go to sleep, as you sleep the muscle that was pulled ( located above your leg infact) swells. Blood stops flowing you suffer a heart attack and die.

by the way that heart attack was due to the Big mac you bought early that day with a one dollar bill from the dollar menu.

Object: Car fender on the side of the road.

You're walking along with an Australian friend and you point out the fender.
He say's: “Strewth mate! That's not a fender you bloody Drongo, that's a Bumper! Don't you know anything? Fuck me dead!”
And with that, he picks up the “bumper” and rams it through your stomach.
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Object: The Battleship U.S.S. Texas.

You give the captain the finger.

He blows you up. using the aresonal on his ship.

Object: Myxomatosis' toaster

Ozone dosent own underpants the paradox fries your brain.

Object: Three gallons of military grade lubricant.

Ozone does have three gallons of military grade lubericant. Your brain fries.

It snaps, and the hooker goes on a violent rage.

A refrigerator.

You see a feather boa and then a car of gangbangers drive-by your arse

Object: My sunglasses

You put on the sunglasses. Oh, it's very dark with this on, I don't know where I'm going…

Ker-Shark'D

Object: :D

Out of curiosity, you poke the :D 's teeth. It bites your finger off, and you bleed to death.

Object: Banana phone.

While talking with friends you bring up the subject of banana phone, one of your friends brains you with a lead pipe for being unorigional.

Object: A Sega megadrive.

After reading the story of Jesus resurecting somebody, you go to a graveyard and attempt to do the same. After hours of mediataion several zombies crawl out of the ground and maul you to death

Object: empty soda bottle

You nearly die from anger at the way that Ebaums world has stolen your newest and funniest flash animation in the universe and while looking at the site, being that angry, lightning flashes your monitor explodes and you die of a heart attack.

Object: Cthulhu plushie

The Cthulhu Plushie comes to life and sticks it tentacles down your throat, then it pulls out your Large Intestine and chokes you to death with it.

Object: An Icecube

you're slurping on the ice cube when it slips down your throat. you choke on it and die before it melts.

object: a sprite comic

your eyes turn into liquid acid that then drops into your mouth and destroys all your organs.


object: the tiniest piece of paper you could ever imagine.

your in a parking lot and you try to keep a hold the tiniest piece of paper you could ever find but since its so small it flys out of your hand and leaves a paper cut in your eye…..you turn aroud grabbing your eye and get hit by a car.

Object:A strand of hair

The strand of hair is very long, and very strong and is used to strangle you.

A cheeseburger.

As you bite into the burger, you find that the patty has roaches inside. One of the crawls down your trachea and into your lungs. It mannages to chew it's way through your lung before it dies and you suphocate.

Mr. T's mohawk.

While horribly drunk you come across Mr. T, being out of your mind with booze you think it is a good idea to make fun of the T's mohawk.

It isn't a good idea.

Not at all.

Item: A dolphin's penis

You just got your hunting licence and now you feel the need to kill, well you and your retarded brain go to seaworld to hunt some dolphins, you put some hormones your your hunting boots and there's a whole bottle in your pants pocket. Well You go to the tank with a harpoon and jump in, the hormones in your pants pocket breaks and a Dolphin anal rapes you to death with it's penis.

Object: Barbra Streisand

You hire a stripper and you put a quarter down her throat because you were too cheap to get paper cash, she chokes to death and your arrested for murder, you write down in you journals on how bad it was in jail, a man kept f*cking you in the ass, but the ability of Ashton Kutcher from the butterfly effect was so gay your balls started expanding, then growing small er unti lthey exploded, you suffered from servere trama to the head and bled to death.

Item: the KKK, A picture of me, And a Black cat.

the KKK destroy your house and you survive. you're so pissed that you throw a picture of ComicMasta at them. the high velocity and RPM that you throw it at decapitates them. later, a black cat crosses your path and the picture comes back and beheads you.

next item: soda pop.

(forgot to put that down.)

You open the can of soda and down the whole soda and slam it down and let loose a burp that vibrates everything in a large radius of your temporarily enlarge esophagus. But when you slammed the can back down, the tab that is pulled to open the can breaks loose and shoots toward your open mouth. Thankfully, your friend had placed his hand is front of your face at the perfect moment, deflecting the tab upward, lodging it in between two joints of wood. Your friend, thinking this to be an amazing feat decides to climb up to the ceiling to retrieve the tab. When the friend pulls the tab from the two joints of wood, the ceiling collapses on both of you, crushing the both of you to death.

Whoa… I killed both you AND your best friend o_o

okay….umm… NEXT OBJECT!

A STREET SIGN!

Your oon your everyday route of sticking your ehad out the window and yelling “Looser” at everyone, well you see a guy selling shrimp and laugh at him, you tell looser, well the person who had the last laugh was the vender causewhen you guys made a tun your head was sliced off by a stop sign.


Item: Peanut Butter, Jelly, Bananna, Chainsaw, and a one eyed wonder weasle with its 2 balls.

Juggle juggle juggle. Dead.


Item: The back end of a scooter

You're riding on the back of your friend's scooter when suddenly you hit a bump and fall of the back of the scooter as you're riding down a busy street.

You dodge the oncoming cars and make it to safety, but you trip on the curb and hit your head. But thankfully, you have on your trusty helmet.

Although you had your helmet on, you still feel a bit loopy, so you sit down waiting for you friend to notice you're gone. Pretty soon, you wonder where he is, so you get up and begin to walk.

At that very moment, the bank was being robbed and a crook was running from the cops. During his escape, he pushes you into traffic and you're hit by a semi that was putting on it's brakes, therefore you are unharmed.

You take off your helmet to make sure you're completely okay. Once everything is settled with the semi-driver you make for the sidewalk again. You trip on the curb again, and hit your now unprotected head AGAIN. You die from brain damage.

(._. friggin' scarey)

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Object: Meryl Streep

okay, I'm gonna make this overly complicated. (somewhat because I have NO idea who meryl streep is.)

You push meryl streep off of a tall building, she has a rope attached to her ankle, which triggers a mallet, which falls onto a sleeping hobo who throws his booze, which knocks down a fire escape, which scared a cat, who screams, which makes an old lady have a heart attack, who falls out the window, coushoining meryl streep's fall, with crunchy goodness, and then meryl streep shoots you.

Object: A pocket watch

you take your pocketwatch out of your pocket, Due to intense ultra violent rays, sunlight and what not? the light reflecting of the glass gets so strong it has laser force and burns your head off.

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Objecs: Colster, Chainsaw, Explosive nuclear Weapons, And a kitty.

Torture the kitty with all of em, the set the nuke then kick the kitty then detonate the nuke before the kitty gets to ya.



Objects: A rifel with one bullet, a frog, a granade, 1 C4 explosive and a baseball bat.