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I need some advice.
humorman at 6:00PM, March 9, 2009
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Okay, I have a bottle cap collection (don't laugh) and I cherish it dearly. There's this guy named Larry who's been my best friend since junior high. Anyways, one day, I see a few bottle caps in my collection have gone missing, and I suspected Larry might have taken them. So I ask him, “Larry, did you steal some of my bottle caps?” He says he didn't, but just to make sure, I put up a security camera to watch my bottle cap collection. When I check the tape, I see that Larry has indeed been stealing my bottle caps. I talk to Larry again. “Larry,” I say, “Why have you been stealing my bottle caps?” Larry just tells me the same thing he said before. Then, I go, “Damn it, Larry! I saw you! I have you on tape. Give me back my bottle caps.” Larry just smiles back at me and says, "If I did take your bottle caps, you'd know… you'd know… you'd know…"

So basically, what I'm trying to ask is should I kick Larry out of his apartment? By the way, I'm his landlord and he hasn't paid his rent in over ten months.

Billy vs. Tree – The epic struggle of boy versus tree.
Sonic Colores – It looks like it's going to be a good game because I love how the way it makes me grow.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:51PM
Custard Trout at 6:28PM, March 9, 2009
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No, you see Larry is actually the second coming of our Lord, Lance Facepunch. To interfere with His Most Divine Plan would be to call misery and death upon yourself and all that which you cherish. Complying to His will, however, will bring you to the Promised Land, where there's probably good stuff. I don't know.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:01PM
Jonko at 9:29AM, March 10, 2009
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Well, if you kick Larry out of his apartment you'll probably loose him as a friend forever, so the bigger question is, is your bottlecap collection more important than Larry's friendship.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:10PM
lba at 2:06PM, March 10, 2009
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Remove Larry's internal organs and use a chemical bath of two parts ammonia, 1 part orange juice to fix and solidify them. Then make Larry a part of your collection.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
machinehead at 6:54PM, March 10, 2009
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I say boot his ass out. If he truely was your friend he wouldn't steal your bottle caps and would probably pay rent. He sounds like a sponge he'll be fine sponges always are.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:49PM
lothar at 6:10AM, March 11, 2009
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just tell him to pay his rent in bottle caps , he can steel them from other places if he likes but make sure you get it on tape so you can use it against him later
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:45PM
crocty at 8:14AM, March 11, 2009
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One day, wake up about 10 minutes before him. Get some ketchup, cover him in it, and put some on yourself and your hands, stand over him, wait for him to wake up, and stare at him without saying anything, with a “:)” look on your face.

Then sternly request your bottle caps back.

Oh, and if possible, wear a tux. That would be even creepier.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:52AM
Hakoshen at 9:38AM, March 11, 2009
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crocty
One day, wake up about 10 minutes before him. Get some ketchup, cover him in it, and put some on yourself and your hands, stand over him, wait for him to wake up, and stare at him without saying anything, with a “:)” look on your face.

Then sternly request your bottle caps back.

Oh, and if possible, wear a tux. That would be even creepier.

Wow. I just pictured my roommate doing that to me. Kind of like when he decided to conduct his flashlight experiments. Ah, good times.

But seriously, he's the one pushing the boundaries of your friendship, not you. First, lock your stuff up somewhere. Lock the room, put it in a safe or something. The last thing you need is him complicating the problem by persisting in it.

Then, if you can't make him sit down and talk to you about this, and that includes watching the tape together, then it's time to cut him loose. Friends dont step on each other's toes like that and just expect to get away with it.

My only question is why would he be doing this. Have the two of you had some kind of fight or something lately?
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:41PM
dcole at 5:46PM, March 11, 2009
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Honestly, kick the douche to the curb. I've had roommates who acted like a-holes in the past, and my biggest regret was not telling them how I felt, how they pissed me off, and cutting the chord.

The thing is, if this guy is acting like this, taking advantage of your friendship, then he probably takes it for granted as well. He doesn't know how much he needs you. Kick him out, if he promises to change, maybe give him another chance.
Daniel Cole
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www.brokenfrontier.com
Twitter: @CarbonandSpace

last edited on July 14, 2011 12:09PM
humorman at 10:58PM, March 24, 2009
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Update:

I decided to evict Larry from his apartment. The last time I heard he was living on the streets. He froze to death in an alley. I was sad for a while, but I'm starting to get over it. Now, I have to take care of some legal business. I'm planning on suing Larry's parents for the money he owed me from back rent. I'm wondering if I should give the legal papers to the parents during Larry's funeral seeing how they'll be in town that day. Does anyone have any advice on this?






Lawrence Padlinger
1998-2009

“Stop kicking me.” – Lawrence Padlinger
R.I.P.

Billy vs. Tree – The epic struggle of boy versus tree.
Sonic Colores – It looks like it's going to be a good game because I love how the way it makes me grow.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:51PM
ozoneocean at 11:05PM, March 24, 2009
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Are you insane?

Sue them for the bottlecaps as well you fool!
Duh.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Jonko at 11:52PM, March 24, 2009
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Um… I personally wouldn't do that. Bad juju. The guy's parents already have had to deal with their son's death, getting sued will make their life even more miserable. I think the right thing to do here would be to just forget about it. Larry's gone, your troubles are pretty much gone too now.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:10PM
ozoneocean at 12:04AM, March 25, 2009
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No! Humorman can't let him off like that! No way.
if his parents don't pay, dig up the body and hold it to ransom.

If it's too heavy and stinky, just steal the head. ;)

——————-
I just had a thought:
Hollow it out and you have a perfect place to keep your bottlecaps!
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
MetalLuigi at 12:19AM, March 25, 2009
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ozoneocean
If it's too heavy and stinky, just steal the head. ;)

I believe that would make for the most terrifying Halloween decoration ever. Especially if you did hollow it out and decided to serve candy out of it.

*shudders*
My two comics: Bob the Alien and Tom the Turkey
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:59PM
tiffawolf at 12:27PM, March 25, 2009
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why would some one steel bottle caps, report his ass,u have him on tape,black mail him mwahahahaha
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:30PM
Jellomix at 3:26PM, March 25, 2009
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I don't understand why he'd steal your bottle caps. Does he collect them too?
Well, I guess that isn't the problem here.

Explain that you have proof he stole them and if he doesn't give them back, I suppose you have the right to threaten him with his unpaid rent… or even the possibility of kicking him out. Or before that, explain how important your collection is to you and he'll feel sorry. :/
Sig? Yeah, I'll get to it. >_<
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:07PM
lba at 5:42PM, March 25, 2009
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I say sue ‘em for the rent, bottlecaps and the emotional trauma. It’s their fault for raising such a poor son and he could have found somewhere else to live.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
Ryuthehedgewolf at 3:33PM, March 26, 2009
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humorman
Update:

I decided to evict Larry from his apartment. The last time I heard he was living on the streets. He froze to death in an alley. I was sad for a while, but I'm starting to get over it. Now, I have to take care of some legal business. I'm planning on suing Larry's parents for the money he owed me from back rent. I'm wondering if I should give the legal papers to the parents during Larry's funeral seeing how they'll be in town that day. Does anyone have any advice on this?






Lawrence Padlinger
1998-2009



So wait…he was 11 years old?
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:16PM
Jonko at 5:09PM, March 26, 2009
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Ryuthehedgewolf
humorman
Update:

I decided to evict Larry from his apartment. The last time I heard he was living on the streets. He froze to death in an alley. I was sad for a while, but I'm starting to get over it. Now, I have to take care of some legal business. I'm planning on suing Larry's parents for the money he owed me from back rent. I'm wondering if I should give the legal papers to the parents during Larry's funeral seeing how they'll be in town that day. Does anyone have any advice on this?






Lawrence Padlinger
1998-2009



So wait…he was 11 years old?

I didn't realize that! Did you mean 1988?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:10PM
ozoneocean at 11:11PM, March 26, 2009
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No, he meant 11 years. Those botttlecap thieves get younger and younger!
Man, I had a whole GANG raid me a while ago. I have none left now. My insurance didn't cover the entire collection so I didn't bother trying to replace it.

I have a reward out for them now though- $2500 if you can find those kids or any information leading to them. That's almost all the insurance money.

So you see why I sympathise with humorman. :(
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
cool guy at 6:00PM, March 29, 2009
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humorman
Update:

I decided to evict Larry from his apartment. The last time I heard he was living on the streets. He froze to death in an alley. I was sad for a while, but I'm starting to get over it. Now, I have to take care of some legal business. I'm planning on suing Larry's parents for the money he owed me from back rent. I'm wondering if I should give the legal papers to the parents during Larry's funeral seeing how they'll be in town that day. Does anyone have any advice on this?






Lawrence Padlinger
1998-2009

“Stop kicking me.” – Lawrence Padlinger
R.I.P.
…. is that a joke?
This life we live shall soon be past,only what's done for Christ shall last! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:45AM
Mr Helpful at 6:15PM, March 29, 2009
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Well, his name is “Humorman”. If it's not, I think we ought to present Humorman with a nice, white, really longsleeved jacket, then back slowly away.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:07PM
ozoneocean at 12:13AM, March 30, 2009
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cool guy
…. is that a joke?
And the award goes to…
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM

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