Debate and Discussion

If Bullies were charged with manslaughter after victims killed themselves
Genejoke at 12:18PM, Nov. 28, 2010
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My wife was bullied at school and when she and her parents complained the school claimed it wasn't happening and that they (the school) did not have a bullying problem. All about keeping up appearances I guess.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:33PM
artofzinn at 9:22PM, Nov. 28, 2010
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my son was having problems at his school as well , now he's not a weak kid by any means and well able to handle himself. I told him not to fight at school because now you get sued or locked up for schoolyard fights so one particular kid took advantage of the fact that he is a good boy and would not fight because his dad told him not to . This went on for a long time (almost all of fifth grade ) every day he would come home with a new story about what this kid did to him . I contacted the school repeatedly and nothing got done . one day the bully pushed my younger daughter down in the hall she is only in first grade and my son saw it happen . That was his breaking point and he went off ! Iwas called from work to go to the school to find said bully in the office with two black eyes , a bloody nose , and one verry angry mother . she threatened to sue , the school threatened to expell . it was only after a long discussion with the school about the fact that my lawyer would find it interesting how the bullying was reported over and over and nothing was done and threats to the mother of a counter suit on her and son for assaulting my daughter and denying my son his right to an education that we resolved the issue . it's funny how the systyem overlooks this “minor” bullying until something really drastic happens , then all they want to do is point fingers. the truith is we pay them to educate our children and part of that it providing a safe environment for them to learn in so where should the finger really be pointing ? Note this is the only fight my son has ever been in and no bullying since . I am not advocating violence but the system really left my son with little choice except to protect himself and his little sister and I cannot fault his actions !
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:02AM
Faliat at 9:33AM, Nov. 29, 2010
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I remembered something else that was really weird about my bullying experiences last night.

In other schools, self harming would be something to be ashamed of and try to hie for fear of being attacked for it.

There were girls that bullied me that carved words and names into their arms snd thighs, and their friends thought it was so cool that they did it, too.

THESE were popular kids. Laughing at alternatively dressed people saying they cut their wrists while they were openly flashing their own cuts.
Just because theirs had “meaning” or because they were their boyfriend's names, they thought they were okay.

Bet their scars are all warped and difficult to explain now… But it just goes to show you how fucked up bullies can be and how they need straightened out for their own sakes as well as those of their victims.

Mind you, I really hate having seething hate towards a dead 15 year old boy, but he brought it upon himself.

I tried sendng him a get well soon card. I drew it and coloured it myself in an afternoon. I handed it to his friends that also bullied me and told them to give it to him for me. It took a lot for me to do it. But I felt rotten for his family.

For the week leading up to his death they left me alone.

After he died it was like it didn't even happen.

And it wasn't like they forgot. They brought it up more than once.


Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
itsjustaar at 3:19PM, Dec. 10, 2010
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I agree on the notion that sometimes bullies help make better people out of the victims. This doesn't go for everyone - most of the time it's just for laughs, or they've got nothing else better to do - but there's always the rare case where even a simplified tease or rouse would make the victim improve themselves. I can't think of many who would be willing to step-up and use it as a life-changing experience, so that when they become adults, and the daily bump-and-grind of the world past schooling and parents finally comes into play. I'm sure some might have had this happen to them at some point.

In my experience, most of the bullying that got into me had to do with the fact of my family's history in the neighborhood; my grandmother was a complaintive but strong and determined sort, who I deemed respectable as a defender. As the neighborhood we had in San Jose slowly degraded, she usually protected me from others who probably didn't share at least some of the good morals and life decisions as we did. We didn't bring anyone down, but we tried to keep a positive outlook on most things.

Because of my grandmother's protective nature and outspoken opinion, whether it be trivial things or not, it had kind of an effect on me during the early school years. I was generally picked on or ignored, teased, taunted, pushed around and generally had zero friends. It was pretty brutal, especially when you're without the common gift of having a pen pal, or a school friend, a teacher to call on, things like that. I became generally reserved. Most of it was verbal abuse, and the lack of father figure (and an oft-stressed mother on her own) to help me out. They had the general opinion of those who had known or were aware of my grandmother's antics, so I became the whipping boy for most kids. And this lasted for quite some time. By middle school I was developing a gradually increasing hatred for a lot of this, and it was starting to show with my first fight (and a few others in high school, but nothing serious).

Thing is though, I'm still very reserved now, but I'd like to think I've made some improvement. Middle school and high school years were the same as elementary, and I only opened up to finally blossom with a piece of mind towards the last few years before graduation.

As far as bullies getting punished for manslaughter though, I'd say it's something to consider giving to them only if the situation between the victim and bully is a constant matter. If the kid had problems from the start, it's probably not worth giving a severe case (though there ought to be something demanding nonetheless to teach a good lesson on the kid), but if the bullying was yearly, monthly, constant, in that sense, I'd say charged for ‘manslaughter’ might as well fit. Or at least ‘assault and battery’.

These days though with the rise of some ‘cyberbullying’ though, I'm not sure how that would be applied.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Faliat at 5:39PM, Dec. 13, 2010
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Saying that bullying is mostly positive in the end is also bullshit.

Sure, I can handle more verbal and physical bullying better later on in life…

… At the cost of GREATLY REDUCED CHANCES of aquiring a stable long-term relationship due to the associated paranoia and other negative personality quirks!
Not that I'd want to, though.
But I dunno if that's asexuality or the remnants of repression from a young age due to the sexal abuse.

While I have folk wondering if I'm gay or straight, I'm more bothered by “Will I ever be able to know whether I even feel that way about people at all or not?”

There was an 18 rated movie on earlier. It was partially filmed in my home town, had Ewan McGregor as the lead and contained a LOT of sex.
I'm not bothered by that, I was more annoyed by the fact that they had to shove boobs in every shot and completely ruin the composition of it as a whole.

It was that, and a rape scene resulting from an argument over custard (Which then ended up all over her boobs as she cried on the floor), that made me angry enough to stop watching. And I rarely EVER stop watching a movie. Even if it's bad!
I also buy some movies BECAUSE they're bad. But that's beside the point of what I just said…

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
Aurora Moon at 2:45AM, Dec. 14, 2010
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I agree with Faliat. Thanks to bullies, I have a hard time trusting people in real life… I'm always constantly second-guessing people.

I don't see how bullying could be beneficial AT ALL. you say it helps people build tougher skins and to deal with the cruel world better.

Well, guess what I see? All I see is the fact that it makes people's insecurities and phobias even worse.

It makes women even more obsessed with being perfectly beautiful, etc.

And it makes men obsessed with thoughts of “I'll show them all one day!!!”

That cliched story about some poor ugly girl or guy being bullied only to end up as a famous celebrity or an highly successful person……

well, guess what? That only happens to %1 of people who have been bullied, and they are the EXPECTATION, rather than the rule. why do so many people think it's the way around?? obviously they haven't been paying much attention to reality at all.

Every person I knew who ever was bullied didn't use to have certain insecurities and such until they were bullied.

Some female associate of mine apparently was a happy, healthy girl until she became severely bullied at the age of 14 years old… and then after that she developed an self-image problem along with a eating disorder. Why? Because the bullies kept on saying she was super ugly, and fat….

when in reality she wasn't fat at all, and were actually just normal-looking. It turns out that the girls who bullied her was actually jealous of her, but she didn't know it at the time. So she engaged in behavior that was harmful to her own life.

So tell me, how is that positive character-building for her??

all those kids who commit suicide thanks to bulling wasn't freaking out over a little thing, you know.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:11AM
Genejoke at 3:54AM, Dec. 14, 2010
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It's tricky but most people do learn to deal with it, I was told I was fat as a child and I wasn't, a tiny bit over weight and broad shouldered but I got bullied for it.
I am fat now and if someone comment about it or is rude I laugh or ignore it, it really is of little interest to me.

The trick is to learn NOT to be insecure and not to let that stuff bother you. There are people who get it bad and there are people who allow themselves to be victims.

I know it sounds really unsympathetic but in a lot of cases people just need to man up and get over it.

That said it doesn't make bullying right and making people more aware of their action can only be a good thing.

Is bullying someone to the point of suicide punishable? Is death by dangerous driving? I think the answer is yes, however it is establishing guilt and the level of the bullies participation that is tricky. If someone was part of a group that tormented someone but did little themselves are they culpable? is it just the ring leader(s)?

Someone
That cliched story about some poor ugly girl or guy being bullied only to end up as a famous celebrity or an highly successful person……

Actually I know a fair number of people who have done that sort of thing, but in spite of the bullying not because of it. Some have issues as a result, I guess it is down to the level of bullying.



last edited on July 14, 2011 12:33PM
itsjustaar at 11:46AM, Dec. 14, 2010
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Yeah, it depends on how bad the bullying is. In my case it wasn't a grave experience, but was slow and painful as time wore on.

Now, if this were cyber-bullying on the other hand - sometimes an expansion of real world experiences - I can see that as being very tough on an individual. Especially with how news travels fast on the internet, people exposing themselves to the public (the less-aware or the people who aren't particularly cautious, so to speak) and their ideas, personal information, what gets their kicks and so on… it's ripe to make a media sensation in any sort of form. With over millions who use this sort of thing everyday, keeping one's identity secret can be as tricky as performing a new trick with an old dog.

My sister once had to go through the ordeal of very harsh e-mails from girls around the town's school here, even if it was about trivial things, but I remember it crippled her performance in schoolwork and grades for at least a good two weeks. We explored the possibility of sending these e-mails over to the principal to be looked over and reviewed, but by the third week, things seemed to have worked out.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Faliat at 6:44PM, Dec. 14, 2010
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Aurora Moon
That cliched story about some poor ugly girl or guy being bullied only to end up as a famous celebrity or an highly successful person……

well, guess what? That only happens to %1 of people who have been bullied, and they are the EXPECTATION, rather than the rule. why do so many people think it's the way around?? obviously they haven't been paying much attention to reality at all.
I think people believe that story because, even though about 1% of bullied people become successful and/or famous, they make up most of the famous/successful people in the world. And so people think that ALL bullied people will become famous. It's the weird way human brains work.

The same kind of weird logic that makes people say you're a goth even though the school uniform is black trousers, black shoes but with turquoise blouses and royal blue ties and jumpers and therefore wearing a black jacket COVERS the blue parts.

Doesn't matter also if you happen to listen to trance music most days, either. You're a damn goth because you're wearing blue and we can't see it!

Funny how a lot of blokes that said that wore baby pink fleece jackets…

… They were also the cool kids…

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
meemjar at 11:45PM, Dec. 14, 2010
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Those who say that Racism and Bullying are different are not entirely correct.
There's some differences and a lot of similarities.

What's the difference between;
“Hey nerd, this is a private party.”
and;
“This is an exclusive country club…BOY!”

But seriously let me tell you how Racism and Bullying can go hand-in-hand.

When I went to school, there was a boy who bullied me violently nearly on a day-in day-out basis. He was the one Black kid in an otherwise all-white school. And the teachers always made excuses for him when my parents confronted them on him.
“Oh, his mother abandoned him, his father beats him up and he has a learning disability. And (meemjar) should try to be his friend.”
They ALWAYS spin-doctored it to make it my fault.
They were probably afraid the Black panthers or someone would come down on them or something.

However when he picked on the more favoured students, he got his ears boxed.

Furthermore because I was ‘Socially awkward’ the other kids would side with him saying;
“Well, (meemjar) deserves it for not being his friend.”
Well, NONE of them wanted to be his friends either but NOT because he was Black (I THINK) but because he was a SOCIOPATH due to his rage issues.

Instead of taking the right steps (taking the kid away from the father, imprisoning the father and getting the kid couselling) they took the easy way out and blamed me. I was expendable because I was an under-achiever…but only because I couldn't consentrate on my studies, being harassed at EVERY opportunity.
He and I BOTH slipped thru the cracks.
I should've felt sorry for him but I couldn't…I hated him and was glad to see whatever beatings he got.

Well, finally my parents threatened a lawsuit and my mother threatened to come to the school and personally beat the $#!* out of him. And I know my mother…she'd have DONE it. She's Irish.
“And if I go to jail, I'll call in the TV, newspapers and radio and tell this WHOLE city what kind of a school you're running.”

Naturally the teachers slammed down on him hard and he was forced to leave me alone.
And of course the other students now were all saying things like;
“(meemjar) NEVER did anything bad to him…he was just being a PUNK!”
Hypocrits…they were just covering their asses like the teachers were.

The whole situation was a microcosm of our society;
The teachers were ‘the System’, the other kids were ‘the Majority’, he was the ‘Visible Minority,’ and I was the ‘White Trash.’
They shifted the blame and took sides back and forth between us whichever was convenient.

The damage was done. For the longest time afterwards, I was suspicious of Black people. No other minorities bothered me, just them. I didn't hate them, just was afraid. And it took me years to get over it.

Now some would say to me;
“This only happened to you ONCE as opposed to the countless times its happened to minorities.”
And my reply is; “Whether it happens to you a thousand times or only once…ONCE is STILL one damn time too many!”
And I was a victim of bullying/reversed racism.

It could have turned ME into a racist, but instead it made me live by a firm resolve.
“I will accept and sympathise with my fellow man, but I will have NO tolerance for Fools.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:58PM
itsjustaar at 2:39AM, Dec. 21, 2010
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lol, ‘exception.’ Saying ‘expectation’ sounds kinda weird.

I think saying 1% of all people who get bullied become famous is a bit off. Not to critique your post or anything, but by definition - we're talking people who had become authors, actors, actresses, directors, playwrights, sports athletes, that sort of thing, here.

Maybe more like… 21% seems about right: the sports athlete who got teased because he was grossly obese uses this advantage to take a crack at sports, or an author who reflects on small parts on his past and overcomes them via the fictional literature he writes. It's not common, but I wouldn't say it's uncommon. Even I've wanted to do something like that for awhile now.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:05PM
Aurora Moon at 10:41AM, Feb. 5, 2011
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http://www.schoolbullyingcouncil.com/teens-arrested-in-shocking-bullying-case/

seven boys ganging up on one boy, and they very nearly killed him.

the boy managed to survive the incident but I doubt he would see it as a positive character building experience.

let's see people here try to rationalize this one.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:11AM
Genejoke at 10:52AM, Feb. 5, 2011
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Well that is an exceptional case, not all bullying is that level of terrorizing people.

What is most shocking is that no one helped.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:33PM
Faliat at 3:07PM, Feb. 5, 2011
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Good GOD that article writer was lazy. “The teens could have killed the teen”?
USE A DAMN THESAURUS!

Anyway, that is horrible. I would say something about whether the “adolescents” actually could have killed the “victim” or not by hanging him from a fence by his jacket, but due to the way it was written it was pretty vague HOW he was hung. Did they take it off him and try to wrap it around his neck and dangle him by it or did they hook his coat over the fence with him in it? It's not really said.

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
Aurora Moon at 6:27PM, Feb. 5, 2011
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in my experience, a good chunk of bullies out there often work together in groups. It's how they also feel justified in doing what they do, and how they get so much power over their victims. “Hey, it's normal to pick on nerds or the losers… all my friends are doing it too, so. And plus it's fun!”

and plus when you're in a group like that you tend to feel less of a jerk if somebody tries to call you on that horrible behavior.

sure, most of them don't actually resort to extreme physical violence like the “Wolf pack” group in the news did. instead, it's mostly emotional and verbal abuse going on.

When it's only one person what's picking on you, it's easier to shrug off and maybe even outright ignore.

But when that one person starts to get others to join in…to the point where it's almost like an classroom activity for everyone, that's far more damaging emotionally and physically. it basically causes you to feel like the whole school's against you, etc.

That's one of the reasons why some people who were victims of bullying commit suicide. and it's also far more common than you think.

That's why I can't help but shake my head at those people in this thread here who actually tried to rationalize it as being a positive character-building experience.
It makes me think that maybe they only experienced the following:

1)mild call-naming such as “Hey, you're such a dweeb.” from one person or a very small group of like three people.

2) saw it happen to others but never went though it. but not being the person bullied they have no idea of what the person really was going though as seeing they most likely only saw a portion of it.

3) or worse, they were the ones who bullied people and now is trying to justify why they're not complete monsters by claiming that all of their victims had a positive character-building experience…. in a way where it won't out them as being one of those jerks on a internet forum like this one.

4) or maybe even all of the above.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:11AM
Sayomi at 4:26AM, Feb. 23, 2011
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ayesinback
Bullies do have to be made accountable for their actions, and I wish there was a better way to address these actions at an early stage, way before anyone feels driven to suicide. Or murder.

I completely agree. But how are they meant to do that? :/
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:24PM
meemjar at 5:23PM, Feb. 28, 2011
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Personally I think our young generation has gotten extremely weak.

In my day a kid could get beaten up every other day and not be discouraged into going to school, or driven to killing himself, or taking a gun to his peers.

Nowadays kids get a hatemail and its; “Oh boo-hoo he called me a doo-doo head. I can't live anymore!”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:58PM
El Cid at 6:17PM, Feb. 28, 2011
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meemjar
Personally I think our young generation has gotten extremely weak.

In my day a kid could get beaten up every other day and not be discouraged into going to school, or driven to killing himself, or taking a gun to his peers.

Nowadays kids get a hatemail and its; “Oh boo-hoo he called me a doo-doo head. I can't live anymore!”
I think it's maybe taking things a bit far to assume an extreme case like this typifies an entire generation. That's like when there's a child kidnapping in Pennsylvania and then it makes the news all over the freakin' country and now all of a sudden there's a national “epidemic” of child kidnappings. Usually when stuff like this makes the news, it's because it's so exceptional, not because it's typical. Emotionally screwed-up young people have been doing stupid self-destructive crap since the beginning of time.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:20PM
meemjar at 3:19PM, March 1, 2011
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@ El Cid

I was hoping someone would say that.
I don't want to believe that kids are weak these days, but its amazing how the news can exaggerate things and conversely censoring the news is equally wrong.

But this whole thing shows how damageing bullying is and maybe the only effective method is to use the good cop/bad cop approach.

Most bullies are so hardened by unhappy circumstance in their lives and feel so empowered by the hold they have on their victims that they usually will not stop bullying until;

First: The barrier has to be broken down by first destroying the bullies arrogance.
Making it very clear to him that severe retribution will be visited opon him if he doesn't back off. Because unfortunately most bullies will just laugh in the face of the person who says; “Can't we just talk this over?”
But you give him a good beating down first and THEN say; “NOW you wanna talk?”
chances are he'll spill his guts because he'll want to shift blame.

Second: Then listen to HIS side of it. If you find out from him that its because he has a father whose abusive or a teacher who belittles him etc, you then have knowledge to confront and deal with the source of his misplaced anger.
Because if you just punish HIM for being a tormenter and NOT punish HIS tormenter, you're just saying he alone has to take abuse.
That its OK for HIM to be the victim.

But I know from experience that handleing a bully with kid gloves FIRST doesn't work. You have to show him, brutally if necessary, that he WILL get the worst of it if he doesn't smarten up. THEN show support for HIS grievances.
That way, he will see that there IS justice…and chances are good the bullying will stop.


Sadly there are also the incorrigible. The gang members who are hardened beyond help.
If they get left bleeding in a gutter, it serves them right.

Conversely its still pretty pathetic to kill oneself over hatemail.:(
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:58PM
ayesinback at 4:29PM, March 1, 2011
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If we find when comparing the good ol days to a “weakling present” that there are more reports these days it truly is because there are more reporters. When it was just newspapers and radio, it took awhile before Chattanooga heard about Springfield, Mass. And who the hell knew what Melbourne was? TV cranked up the speed incredibly and now with the internet, what might have once taken weeks can be reported globally in minutes. So we hear about more cases all the time.

But it's not just more coverage: it's more people. I don't think people have gotten worse as a population, but if there is a percentage of deviants, with greater populations, there will be more deviants. And if there is a percentage of bullying cases that end with deaths, with more people, there will be more deaths.

Which, imo, means that it Does matter more now because there is always a population of copycats and jackass imitators. I really don't see how it's a matter of some people not being able to just suck up and take it.

And even if it was, why should it be? Don't we have enough sports teams for people who like getting physical and beating up on each other?

under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
El Cid at 5:15PM, March 1, 2011
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meemjar
…But this whole thing shows how damageing bullying is and maybe the only effective method is to use the good cop/bad cop approach…
Stop. Just stop.

Bullying is not a “problem” to be “solved.” It's human nature, it's part of the game, you don't get to change the rules. If there's anything exceptional about some kid killing herself over some mean kids being mean to her (which is what mean kids do, by the way), it's not the bullying. It's the reaction. And if being teased was enough to send her over the brink, then something tells me she wasn't a picture of good mental health to begin with. Using the event, tragic though it was, to shine a spotlight on bullying misses the point entirely.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:20PM
machinehead at 6:30PM, March 1, 2011
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My wife teaches at an alternative school. All of her students have been kicked out of regular school because of their behavior. Some of the stories she tells me scares the hell out of me. Her students have no accountability for their actions and the school barely punishes them for anything they do.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:49PM
El Cid at 6:46PM, March 1, 2011
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You should let Meemjar go in there and beat some sense into 'em.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:20PM
meemjar at 1:23AM, March 2, 2011
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Well hey, if bullying is human nature, then so is kicking the crap out of a bully.

That's been going on since the beginning of time too.
Why is it that we enjoy seeing it happen so much?
Watching an arrogant goon get a shellacking I mean?
Cause if its part of the game then another one of the rules that can't be changed is that sooner or later a bully is forced to fight fair…and then gets his ass handed to him.

Maybe all this www.stopbullying.com is a waste of time?

Maybe its time to go old-school? The tried and true method?

www.stomptheshitoutofabullytilhecrieslikeababyandbegsonhiskneesformercy.com?

lol!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:58PM
El Cid at 5:12AM, March 2, 2011
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Heyyyy! That url doesn't work. It's almost like it's not a real website or something.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:20PM
ozoneocean at 9:04AM, March 2, 2011
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ayesinback
But it's not just more coverage: it's more people. I don't think people have gotten worse as a population, but if there is a percentage of deviants, with greater populations, there will be more deviants. And if there is a percentage of bullying cases that end with deaths, with more people, there will be more deaths.
You have a good point there!
El Cid
meemjar
Bullying is not a “problem” to be “solved.” It's human nature, it's part of the game, you don't get to change the rules. If there's anything exceptional about some kid killing herself over some mean kids being mean to her (which is what mean kids do, by the way), it's not the bullying. It's the reaction. And if being teased was enough to send her over the brink, then something tells me she wasn't a picture of good mental health to begin with. Using the event, tragic though it was, to shine a spotlight on bullying misses the point entirely.
Agreed.

I think what tends to happen is that kids, like dogs, go for the weakest one in the pack. If there's one that's truly pathetic, they'll tend to go for them.

Given that, the solution is pretty obvious- work out who the most vulnerable kids are and try and protect them: organise certain kids to protect and take care of the weaker ones, because just as bullying is perfectly natural and instinctual so is protecting and caring for the vulnerable.
When I was a kid I was quite small; this meant I was a target for bullies (though I'd fight like a cornered cat), but it also meant I attracted protectors.

There IS a natural balance to this sort of thing, all it takes is to manage it, not treat the whole situation as if nothing like it has ever been seen on this earth before and no one can cope with it and everything is going to hell and it's all becoming Mad Max and the world is so horrible horrible horrible ^_^
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:37PM
Faliat at 5:37PM, March 2, 2011
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It's never that clear cut. if it was I would've been able to come out of school barely scathed.

And the protection thing? I got that. It didn't work. Because the older students they got to escort me from class to class never turned up because they had their own ones to get to on the other side of the building. And I'd end up late for my class waiting for them. And wandering in late, having everyone stare at you, stifling laughter while the teacher yells at you is NOT a good thing!

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
ozoneocean at 9:40PM, March 2, 2011
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Faliat
And the protection thing? I got that. It didn't work. Because the older students they got to escort me from class to class never turned up because…
Well, pretty obviously they were doing it wrong in your case. But, if the system works in the playground, then that at least is a good thing. :)

Generally it's better if their “protectors” are kids of the same age who attend most of the same classes.
The other thing is that vulnerable kids need to be taught how to be a little more assertive, self reliant and sturdy. If they no longer appear as weak then they're less of a target for bullying and if they have a little more assertiveness then they're better able to deal with it when they are.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:37PM
Faliat at 9:16AM, March 3, 2011
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joined: 10-17-2006
The problem with getting kids the same age to do the escorting is that you're putting them at risk of bullying, too due to their association with the bullied.

I had to break off most contact with a friend I had since I was a baby so that he didn't get caught up in my shit. And he didn't.

My school didn't really have a playground. Most of everything was car park except for a grassy hill to the side of the playing field that led up to a fenced off train track that was too steep to do anything but sit on.
There was a small square of grey paving at the entrance with a wheelchair ramp but all that was good for was amateur gymnastics.

And I need to repeat at this point that I was never weak. There were plenty of times when I booted people in the shins and even balls with the thick army-style boots I had on and they STILL kept coming back! I would've sent some of them to the hospital had they stuck around long enough and not run away or teachers hadn't jumped in and punished me for it.

I only ended up with the escorts after several incidents. I even got a personal alarm after police involvement with one of them. But that kept going off in class. I didn't really have a choice. It was seeping out of the classroom and a lot harder to ignore. School had to say it was doing something.

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
Eddie Jensen at 9:00AM, Oct. 12, 2011
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It's so hard to say who's to blame, these things are a case to case basis. A bully can help make someones life a miserable, but  I don't see any way that a bully can be the sole reason, unless that bully dedicates their life to making one person miserable, and that's a rare case. Speaking as a former bully, there were never any personal vendettas for me, I just beat up whoever I thought was annoying that day. And then in High school I'd come up with a name I thought was funny, and to begin with they'd seem to think it was funny, but after repeated use they apparenly stopped thinking it was funny and I just didin't realize. The point I'm trying to make is bullying isn't as black and white as people want to make it, if you're bullied that doesn't automatically cause you to commit suicide, there has to be other factors. If we were to start charging bullies with manslaughter we'd have to look into charging pretty much everyone the person knows and as talked to with manslaughter, including the parents the friends and so on. It's sad when someone commits suicide but playing the blame game isn't gonna help anyone.
I'm sorry if any of you think of me differently, if it helps I've long since changed.
PS: Genejoke: at my school it was the complete opposite, my school was 100% convinced my friend was being bullied because he was simply too weird not to be. But he wasn't I hung out with him every minute of the day, and the guy could hold his own. Like I said, bullying isn't black and white so it's hard to not either ignore or crusade against, theres no logical middleground.
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