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If you like Megaman, you're going to love this...
humorman at 4:57PM, Nov. 28, 2009
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Megaman Saves the Day!

*BZZZT*

*BZZZT*

Megaman shut off his alarm clock and reached for his blue helmet and blaster. “Oh god, I hate my life,” said Megaman to himself as he trudged down to his kitchen. He got out the imitation Cheerios and milk and began preparing breakfast. Suddenly, Megaman smelled a terrible odor. The milk had become curdled and foul. Rather than go to the store to buy a new carton, Megaman just sighed and started eating his cereal anyways. It tasted horrible, but Megaman managed to finish off the entire bowl without vomiting it back up too much.

Despite consuming the spoiled milk, Megaman still smelt a foul stench coming from his house. It was coming from his front yard. He opened his front door to discover that a dead opossum had been rotting on his lawn for the past few days. “Great,” said Megaman sarcastically. “Good thing I got this.” Megaman aimed his blaster at the corpse and fired a shot. The resulting blast obliterated the opossum, but had also managed to light Megaman's lawn aflame. In a panic, Megaman used his blaster to try to extinguish the flame. This, however, only managed to spread the flame further. Megaman managed to find a tarp to cover the flame with, thus saving his lawn, but ruining his tarp in the process.

Lethargic over the loss of his tarp and part of his lawn, Megaman decided a trip to the store would cheer him up. Upon entering the store, Megaman made his way into the depths of the supermarket. His trek eventually led him into the feminine hygiene aisle. He looked to his left, and he looked to his right. Once he knew no one was watching, he began placing dozens of tampons into his cart. Suddenly, he noticed a little child staring at him in the aisle. “What are you doing,” asked the child. Megaman, bitter and angry, simply confronted the child and let out a massive roar.

“RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!”

The boy screamed and fled to his mother's side.

“Sir,” said the mother to Megaman. “Did you just roar at my son?”

“Listen lady, I've had a long day today, and–”

“It's 10:00 am.”

“Don't you dare interrupt me… Don't… You… DARE INTERRUPT ME!!!”

“You're insane! Leave me and my son alone before I call the cops!”

“Prettier women than you've tried, lady,” shrieked Megaman towards the distraught mother as she fled from the store. Megaman then proceeded to the check-out lane.

“Good morning sir,” said the cashier to Megaman. She noticed the many boxes of tampons in Megaman's cart. “So, are these for your wife.”

“I don't have a wife,” replied Megaman.

“Your girlfriend?”

“I'm single.”

"Oh, um… I don't mean to be nosy, but what are you buying these for?“

”They're cheaper than paper towels.“

”Actually, our paper towels cost half as much as these.“

Megaman just glared intensely at the cashier.

”Okay then,“ said the cashier uncomfortably. ”That'll be $65.23.“

Megaman pulled some crumpled dollar bills out of his pocket and handed them over to the cashier. Upon leaving the store, Megaman pushed his cart full of tampons into the parking lot. It strayed waywardly out of the lot and into the street. A car struck the cart sending the tampons flying through the air and the car swerving to a fiery destruction. The driver of the car did not survive. Megaman giggled a bit, but quickly went back to his former melancholy state.

Megaman was then confronted by homeless man. ”Do you have any money to spare,“ asked the homeless man to Megaman. ”You know what,“ said Megaman. ”Come with me back to my place. I'll give you meal that you'll never forget.“ Overjoyed with this offer, the homeless man agreed to go back to Megaman's place. Megaman prepared an extravagant meal for the man. It was one of the most exceptional meals the homeless man had ever had. ”Thank you so much,“ said the homeless man gratefully. ”You are truly a saint among men.“ However, as the homeless man took a sip from his glass, he began to feel drowsy. Suddenly, he collapsed in his chair and woke up bound in Megaman's basement.

”So, you thought you were too clever for me, did you,“ said Megaman interrogating the homeless man. The homeless man, tied up and gagged, responded by shaking his head frantically. Out of anger, Megaman smacked the man with his blaster. ”Do you know how I got this blaster, asked Megaman. “You see, I used to be beautiful, just like you. Now look at me. LOOK AT ME!” The homeless man began sobbing and screaming through his gag. “And now,” said Megaman. “I shall send you to God.” Megaman aimed his blaster at the flustered man's head and prepared to fire. “Here's looking at you, kid.”

*ZAAAAP*

Megaman managed to successfully murder a homeless man. Megaman went back up to his room and pulled out a list. “Slashman, Woodman, Fireman, and now Cutman. Four down, four more to go. Once I'm done with this, maybe Jodie Foster will finally love me for who I am.” Megaman then lied down in his bed and slept for the remainder of the day.

Contragulations, Megaman! You saved the day!!!

Billy vs. Tree – The epic struggle of boy versus tree.
Sonic Colores – It looks like it's going to be a good game because I love how the way it makes me grow.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:51PM
Orin J Master at 7:44PM, Nov. 28, 2009
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posts: 437
joined: 12-16-2007
“My god, what a great troll. Where ever did you copypasta it from?” He remarked dryly.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:22PM
lothar at 10:45PM, Nov. 28, 2009
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posts: 1,299
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i actully red the hole thing. butt im sitting at the mall. at fhe muthafumpin mall.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:45PM
BffSatan at 2:02AM, Nov. 29, 2009
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posts: 1,478
joined: 3-2-2008
That's a lot of text. I might just wait for the movie to come out.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
I Am The 1337 Master at 4:31AM, Nov. 29, 2009
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posts: 3,785
joined: 1-16-2009
It's “laid” not lied. Near the end when he's going to bed.

I think humorman actually wrote it. He does that… Do you want feedback or not because last time on the halloween stories one I gave some and then one of your friends flipped out on me. I actually liked this one though…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:53PM
Pineapple at 5:06AM, Nov. 30, 2009
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posts: 276
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shouldn't this sort of stuff be posted in the arts and lit forum?
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:43PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 11:11AM, Nov. 30, 2009
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posts: 3,785
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He COULD do that but 1st, he has posted these in the wrong forum before and 2nd, it is random enough to go in the WTH forum, I think.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:53PM
Atom Apple at 7:09PM, Nov. 30, 2009
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posts: 6,921
joined: 8-5-2006
It's definitely a great work of art though.
i will also like to know you the more
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:08AM
Heavy Veapons Guy at 8:22AM, Dec. 3, 2009
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posts: 14
joined: 11-23-2009
You should write a pamphlet.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:47PM

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