Debate and Discussion

Internet dating? did everyone come to a conclusion and not tell me?
Mimarin at 3:11PM, Oct. 27, 2006
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Remember years back when the debate on internet dating was still out there and lots of people thought “it's stupid and relationships born of it never really last”? what happened to that whole disscusion? I never read anything that sort of gave me a clear indication of what people generally think about internet dating.

So really, what's the deal with internet dating?
Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why.

Also, tell random people they are awsome! it helps!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:02PM
Phantom Penguin at 3:26PM, Oct. 27, 2006
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I think its a little creepy. But then again dating services in general creep me out and are just another show of laziness. People can at least get off their ass to try to get laid can't they?
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:42PM
Rich at 3:44PM, Oct. 27, 2006
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Internet dating has caused a lot of problems in my life. Thanks to it, my mom drug me away from my family at the age of 12 to the state of Indiana, where I was beaten and abused by her boyfriends (Yes, it is plural!) for two years.

So my thoughts on internet dating are that it is wrong beyond all belief. The people on there may very well be liars, cheats, and cons. Do not date someone you met online. Ever.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:06PM
Jillers at 4:06PM, Oct. 27, 2006
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I've actually met and dated some really awesome people via the internets. I mean, there have been creeps, but there also have not been, so really it's kind of going with your gut. If a guy seems too good to be true (and girl, of course) then chances are, they are a creep.

*shrugs* it's really your choice.

Though, man Rich, that sucks about your experience.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:08PM
Mimarin at 4:08PM, Oct. 27, 2006
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Rich
Internet dating has caused a lot of problems in my life. Thanks to it, my mom drug me away from my family at the age of 12 to the state of Indiana, where I was beaten and abused by her boyfriends (Yes, it is plural!) for two years.

So my thoughts on internet dating are that it is wrong beyond all belief. The people on there may very well be liars, cheats, and cons. Do not date someone you met online. Ever.

See In my experience the exact opposite applies, my mother who hadn't had anything like a remotley healthy relationship since 1992 found her current parter via internet dating in 2004. and it's been one of the most consistant and healthy relationship anyone in my family has ever had to my recollection.

However I sense that it isn't so much internet dating itself that is to blame for any negative outcome from it, but a persons motivations and psychological state that has the most effect.
Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why.

Also, tell random people they are awsome! it helps!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:02PM
skoolmunkee at 2:25AM, Oct. 28, 2006
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Mimarin
However I sense that it isn't so much internet dating itself that is to blame for any negative outcome from it, but a persons motivations and psychological state that has the most effect.

This is also what I think. :)

At some point, an Internet relationship just becomes a long distance relationship - you see the person about as often, and in some ways more often (if you talk a lot over AIM and such). Long distance relationships are hard though and have their own kinds of issues. You have to work at them if you want to make them work past the infatuation stage.
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:39PM
Rich at 6:02AM, Oct. 28, 2006
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But the thing is, how do you know you can trust the person on the other end of the computer? You can't. There is no way to gauge how honest they are through e-mail or a chatroom.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:06PM
Aurora Moon at 7:06AM, Oct. 28, 2006
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Rich
But the thing is, how do you know you can trust the person on the other end of the computer? You can't. There is no way to gauge how honest they are through e-mail or a chatroom.

yeah, that's why people start meeting others offline, to make sure that they can.

for me if I start meeting this guy who I've been talking to for a long while, I'm gonna meet him in a public place where it'd be diffcult for him to do anything to me that I don't want him to do. proably talk for a LOONG time. and contuine to do that each time we meet, if the first time goes well.

but I wouldn't want to move in with him right away and everything. that's just stupid.

sure, talking over the net for a long time might enable you to feel like you've known that person for ages, that moving in might feel natural in some way…

but it's a very good idea to just take things slow. after all, might be a great typer and talker, but might not do so well in an social evoivment. so it's just stupid to assume that just because he's great to bond with online, that you think it means that you can move in with him right away and so on forth and there'll be no problems at all.

even couples that never met online has thier own problems when adjusting to living together…. like having an girlfriend that you always had for such a loong time ever snice high school… you suddenly find out that you two aren't so compitable when it comes to living together as you thought you two would be. like she'll have all this stuff you dislike, or if she has tons of annoying habits that you never really noticed because she did that only at home at late night, etc.
that's an example there.

so yeah, it's good idea to just take everything slowly, because everything has thier own stages. people who rush though those stages ends up getting hurt.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:09AM
Mimarin at 11:48AM, Oct. 28, 2006
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Rich
But the thing is, how do you know you can trust the person on the other end of the computer? You can't. There is no way to gauge how honest they are through e-mail or a chatroom.
That's a crap argument, People are equally likley to lie in the flesh, however depending on how you determine things like honesty I understand how it could be difficult online, but again that is one of the things you have to be aware of when using the internet. I actually think people are less likley to try and hide things about themselves online, the internet has the advantage of harboring people a thousand times worse than you no matter who you are, which has a tendancy to make anyone look good.
Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why.

Also, tell random people they are awsome! it helps!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:02PM
kaminari at 3:39PM, Oct. 28, 2006
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Ive always had people say negative things to me about being interested in a guy I met on the internet. Here it is eight years later and we're closer than ever.

I met this guy (one who many of you have probably seen here on DD because he's the one that convinced me to come here) in late 1998 in a chat room and we shared icq numbers and chatted often while sharing artwork. We become close friends and even came online just to talk to each other. I became very attracted to him, but he was hesitant to give his real name and talk in person and such. We continued chatting for a few years, but one day he just kinda vanished. I thought maybe he stopped talking to me because he wanted me to forget about wanting to be with him.. I tried dating a few guys I met in school but they were lousy relationships and didnt last a month. It was weird but I just couldnt feel anything for anyone… all because of a guy I had never met or even talked to on the phone. I went through some rough times emotionally. In late 2002-early 2003, I moved to Germany for study abroad. We had resumed talking but then, one night while I was still in Germany, he called me. This soon became a telephone only type relationship as IM got phased out when I got back to the US and pretty much with the free nights and weekends options. I never dated anyone after that. I had my mind set on him.

Finally in mid 2004, I gathered up my nerve and went to Miami from Mobile, AL. to visit him. It was like I had known him in person for years. Just so natural.
I visited him on and off until last February when I was offered a job in Ft. Lauderdale about 40 miles north of him. We see each other all the time and talk every night and he's just as amazing as I had always felt he was. Much better than any of my former boyfriends.
I dont recommend doing that though.. It was really hard on me, and it still is in a way because I havent even “landed” him just yet.

Well, uhhh, thats my internet dating story.. I dont know if it means its good or bad, but yeah….

I am FS2 champion! w00t!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:13PM
subcultured at 8:35PM, Oct. 28, 2006
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thats a good story ^_^
J
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:00PM
Aurora Moon at 8:38PM, Oct. 28, 2006
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yeah. so to sum up: it's not for everyone out there, it can be both good or bad…

but as long as people exercise caution and take it slowly, nobody gets hurt.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:09AM
Tantz Aerine at 8:43AM, Oct. 29, 2006
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I think it's right to think of the internet as just another facet of everyday human life- since it's humans interacting, one way or the other. So you can't trust a few lines on a computer screen anymore than you can trust a guy trying to win a date with you (or vice versa).

So perhaps, one should consider applying more or less the same rules: DON'T RUSH IT.

I know it can sound a real downer, but really, just for how long can a false persona be kept up? Either's it's going to slip and there will be some behavior/words/attitude to tip you off that this is not the person you'd want to relate to, or the other person will just give up and go fish elsewhere (as the majority of these chaps just don't have too much patience… especially if they are shooting for easy hook ups).

And perhaps, upon meeting for the first time, make sure you can bail easily… ;)
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:06PM
kaminari at 9:47AM, Oct. 29, 2006
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Thats exactly how I felt.
I mean, a person isnt going to keep up a lie for a long time. Eventually, they will get bored with it and look elsewhere if they havent already shown holes in their stories.

The only time I encountered a compulsive liar was when a guy at work started hanging out with me trying to impress me. He'd say all kinds of ridiculous crap like how he had some artwork accepted by Marvel and junk like that.
(and in case you're wondering, there's no way in hell that would happen. He was terrible at drawing. Maybe with some more practice… but… no..)
His lies seemed to get more and more ridiculous too like how he saw a clydesdale in a samurai movie and his family then bought him a couble… Riiiigghhttt.. They just bought a couple of half a million dollar horses just because he saw one in a movie. I asked to see them too, and he would always have some excuse like “There are snakes over there” and a “redneck that lives by us doesnt like us very much”


It became almost like you couldnt believe a word he said. Who knows what it could have turned into.. And this was just the first month of me knowing him. The relationship pretty much never developed.
The point is, the lying becomes very obvious FAST and if they can get away with one, they'll try more and any person can figure it out using common sense,

I am FS2 champion! w00t!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:13PM
BigFishComic at 8:42PM, Nov. 2, 2006
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my friend went on a date with some guy off of craigslist and he hella raped her face.

Online dating probably works about as well as real dating. There are a lot of people out there that won't click with you. cute story though kaminari~ you should make a one-shot out of it or something.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:22AM
kyupol at 8:12AM, Nov. 3, 2006
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i dont trust that shit.

I have more chances of getting a single mom, a psycho-bitch, or a fat lazy good for nothing bitch who expects you to do and pay for EVERYTHING.

Maybe if I was a player or a thug, I'd surely use internet dating. After all, I'm just looking for a quick fuck and not long term relationships.

Or worse… it might be a pedofile.


So I'd stay off that shit.
NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
Aurora Moon at 12:22PM, Nov. 3, 2006
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O_o wow, cynical much kyupol?

the “or worse, it might be a pedohile” comment made me laugh.

conidsering that I'm like, 23 years old and then the guy wouldn't be an pedophile if he was intersted in me now would it?

but yeah, I suppose it's easy to think that everyone on the net lies a lot… espeically if you haven't gotten the patience not to rush it and go out meet half of them after only knowing them 4 weeks then you'd be like “omg!! everyone lies to me on the net!!”

it's like kamakari says… it's pretty easy to spot an liar if you take it slowly and talk to them for like 7 months to an year, all people can't even keep up an good fadacde that long…. and if they were attempting to get on with you using those lies, they'd likely give up and go else where, never to talk to you again. but the more geniuine real people, if they were truly intersted in you they'd stick around a while.

besides, it seems to me that more people lie a lot more in person than they do online. plus all the guys who want to rush things way too much.
I've had an older guy who thought I was easy or something by the way I was open about certain things, and try to french kiss me despite the fact that I only knew personally him for like 4 days…I kept my mouth closed firmly though, and he ended up slobbering all over me.
in the end, I just slapped him and then avioded him from then.

I've met pretty much those various types of slimy guys like that, who seems to try so hard to impress me and stuff by lying a lot about various things. and ironically enough, on the net I've met much more honest, likeable guys than that… and that was by getting to know them for months on end, years by years. so it's a little bit strange when I find more honest guys online than I do offline…

but of course that's just my own personal expernice.
I'm on hitatus while I redo one of my webcomics. Be sure to check it out when I'n done! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:09AM
kyupol at 4:03PM, Nov. 3, 2006
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the “or worse, it might be a pedohile” comment made me laugh.

It might give me a chance to commit a crime.

I'd be sent to jail for murder and then when I get out, I'd be making my own rap record… and I'd be teh gengsta shit. :)
NOW UPDATING!!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:25PM
theduckofanime at 8:16AM, Nov. 5, 2006
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I had a friend, who DIDN'T take time to know if the guy she was going to invite to live with her sucked or not, and she regretted it.

Internet dating is fine, IF you don't leap into it. have some nuetral area's to meet in first. public areas. then you can gauge how honest they are and such.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:16PM
Aussie_kid at 5:35PM, Nov. 5, 2006
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Well, the internet has helped me make some very good friends over the years (Male and Female) so I do believe people can like each other.

Now, for my bad experience

In October 2004, I had been chatting with these people on a forum and found out one girl lived close to me. I considered her a good friend, since we talked often. I got an okay from Amy, so I met her at the food court in the Parramatta Westfield. She was 16 years old, semi-gothic and not very talkative in real life. Strangely enough, we seemed to enjoy ourselves that day even though we barely said a word to each other.

We met once or twice more, but I still preferred the forums, since we said more. Also, I could see a hint of jealousy in Amy. So, I told her since my exams were coming up, I'd have to cut down a lot of my socialising. That's when the problems started. Turns out she was a stalker type. I had talked to her mother earlier and she said that if I was wise, I wouldn't try to hurt her.

Now, I had no idea she felt that way. At first, it was stuff I could handle. She'd send these revision notes really simplified and easy to remember. Then, it happened, she saw me with Amy. I got onto the forum, which I hadn't been on in a week or two, and she had posted stuff like we were dating and in love and such, then there was this incredibly long topic about how I was pretending to be studying when really I was cheating on her. I tried to clear up the matter, reminding every one I repeatedly said I already had a girlfriend. Apparently, she had thought I'd meant her, not Amy. The admin sided with her and I was banned from the forum

So the second I finished my exams, I called her up and told her to meet me at the shopping centre again. I said straight out that I had only ever considered her a friend, never once a a girlfriend/lover/whatever. I got my head sent through the table, but then she left. When I got home, I'd found out she'd attacked Amy.

Finally, came the last straw. She started dating my cousin. I thought I'd never get rid of her and was ready to accept she'd chase me to the ends of the earth, when there came an announcement almost a year later. They were getting married and moving to north Queensland.

It's been 8 months and they're really happy together, so I guess some good has come out of that situation. However, it has made me very wary of meeting my internet friends in real life
Insanity Complex: We may not be insane, but we like to think we are
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:11AM
kaminari at 12:11AM, Nov. 7, 2006
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oh my gosh…. I just remembered something EVIL that I took part in when I was younger.

My first job was at a Suncoast selling videos and this dorky young kid came in with his sweet little old grandmother every Saturday to browse/buy/discuss anime. This was so long ago that I dont even remember his name. Anyways, he found me on ICQ one day and I told a coworker. The coworker was so amused by this and went home to promptly read his ICQ profile. After a good laugh *he* discussed a devious plan with me to pose as a local girl interested in him eventhough in his profile he said he was in love with some girl in Canada. They had several patheticly ridiculous, disturbing and borderline explicit chats that he printed up and shared with everyone at the store. Then one day he asked to meet him and requested that he bring a single red rose. That day he shows up without his grandmother. He talks to me for a bit and the whole time, Im holding back that I know all this stuff that the coworker had done and been sharing. He goes and sits on the bench in the mall in front of the store holding a carnation instead of a rose staying there for almost two hours. I remember we looked out, he was gone, and the flower was on the floor. The coworker then had another chat with him saying that “she” was late and found the flower.

It kind of ended very shortly after that. I had left that job due to backstabbing management and I confronted the guy about it and told him everything about it being the other guy working at suncoast playing a cruel prank. I apologized profusely but I still felt bad even after he said he wasnt angry at me.. Just at the coworker.
Wether he confronted him in person about it or not, I wouldnt know..

But.. another thing is you might want to make sure friends (or even random store employees you see once a week for about 10 minutes max) around you arent playing cruel pranks on you. But these chats were so crazy that the personality the coworker created couldnt be real.. Yet the kid fell for it..

Man… I was an awful person when I was a teenager.. I played a nasty prank on a friend in high school too that ended in her teased to the point of her running out of class crying and the other person saying stuff like “Whoever did that stole part of my soul”..


but…. Imma good girl now 0=)

I am FS2 champion! w00t!!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:13PM
Knuckles at 8:09AM, Nov. 7, 2006
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I rather not chat with some stranger who claims to be 25 years old when he's really some 50-year old wrinkled, fat hairy pervert guy…

Myth Xaran (manga) - http://www.drunkduck.com/Myth_Xaran
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last edited on July 14, 2011 1:19PM
subcultured at 9:25AM, Nov. 7, 2006
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I'm still waiting for this russian girl to write me back. she said she was in a lengerie and was sex starve…

maybe you guys know her? sexychick18

and also I think a won some lottery in africa. I only have to send them a check for 10,000 and I'll get 1 million dollars.

so I think I'm a millionaire now
J
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:00PM
skoolmunkee at 11:29AM, Nov. 7, 2006
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The good thing about creepy people on the internet is that they're easy to get rid of. In person, not so easy.
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:39PM

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