Comic Talk, Tips and Tricks

Is the action expressed correctly?
cartoonprofessor at 1:11AM, Feb. 2, 2008
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I've just uploaded 3 more pages of my comic, Min n Fin.
I spent a very long time working out how to portray the action in a readable, understandable way and keep the pace moving at the same time.
I've been looking at and rereading these pages so long my mind knows it all too well and I can't see if it is readable????

I'm not sure I have achieved the effect I was after.

If someone could read p21, 22 and 23 with fresh eyes and tell me if they think it works, I would really appreciate it.

Or if it could be expressed in another way more effectively?

Thanks in advance everybody.


last edited on July 14, 2011 11:36AM
mlai at 5:45AM, Feb. 2, 2008
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Looks pretty clear. Only problem I can see is why would the tree bend and fling the critter? What made it do that?

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
cartoonprofessor at 6:32PM, Feb. 2, 2008
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Thanks Miai, I was hoping you would be one of the respondents…
That has been the biggest challenge… getting Yip from his tree up into the air so he can splat against Min n Fin's windscreen.

(sigh)

I need to try and express both the movement of the big ship with the teeth and the ‘bendiness’ of Yip's tree as it bends and flings him into the air.

Any ideas?
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:36AM
mlai at 6:34PM, Feb. 2, 2008
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The throwing of Yip is clear. What's not clear is what made the tree bend and act like a catapult. How did the ship cause that effect?

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
Eunice P at 4:03AM, Feb. 3, 2008
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I read page 21 and I was really confused. I flipped to page 20 and I then understood that there was a ship approaching. The reason I got confused when I read page 21 was the oversize text that is blocking the ship.

And I also agree with Mlai on the catapult action. When a tree is pushed, it should bend down forward. But since it's already drawn, lets just leave it up to the readers' imagination.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:23PM
cartoonprofessor at 4:28AM, Feb. 3, 2008
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posts: 396
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I've changed the page a bit… added dust to try to show the ‘Consumer’ grinding forward, and got rid of the roaring text.
I'm trying to show Yip's tree gettting caught in the teeth, bending from the impact and whipping forward as it gets ‘consumed’ and swallowed up.
Trying to express this page has been frustrating me for weeks.
I can visualize it so well as an animation but can't express it ‘comic’ style as well.
That's why I posted this here, hoping someone can suggest something… anything?
Please?
Does it work better now?
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:36AM
mlai at 5:24AM, Feb. 3, 2008
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posts: 3,035
joined: 12-28-2006
I think if you show the mower's teeth vibrating, it'll be clearer.

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM

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