Okay, since begging isn't going to work, I might as well make a campaign anyways.
Let me to say something I've wanted to say since around the second or third game:
You guys are all asinine morons.
Many of you constantly get trapped in the same pitfalls in this game and don't even seem to care.
First of all, over half of the posts in these games are completely irrelevant. It's incredibly frustrating seeing vital time wasted on things like, “lol, mafia hsa teddy ber army!!!11”, or 50 posts in a row about mustaches. Don't you realize you could actually be trying to solve clues during this time? Of course, the classic response to this is, “Oh, sometimes the narrative isn't clear and there is no way at this point we can determine who is mafia?” Bullshit. You go over those clues and squeeze any type of information out of it. Put something on the table; don't just start posting random useless messages.
Also, there's the matter of people saying, “Oh, humorman's strategy of having everyone give away their roles is stupid. If we did that, then the mafia would know our roles.” Everyone seems totally against doing this, but when it comes to PQing other people in private (even if the other person was part of the mafia) it was okay. Yes, it happened in the first game when you gave your roles to ozone (who then gave the roles to mafioso skoolmunkee) and it happened the last game when some people PQed their roles to Niccea. Then, when the mafia wins, you say, “Gee, I gave so-and-so my role and they were mafia all along! They sure were smart!” No, you see, it's not about the mafia being really smart; it's about you being really stupid. DO NOT give someone your role just because they're the mayor. Either post your role publicly, or don't post it at all.
Finally, I'd like to say something about the other candidates. Usually, I wouldn't stoop to slandering, but after so many losses, I really don't care any more. First, you guys don't offer anything in your campaigns. All I ever hear is, “Vote for me! I'll stop the mafia!” Isn't that the point of the game? You might as well say, “Vote for me! I'm playing the game!” Of course, some of you try to be more strategic, saying things like, “You should vote for me! I'm definitely not mafia!” Well, that just proves you're a townie, doesn't it? The truth is, no matter what you say, there is NO way you can prove to be a townie until either the you die, or the game ends. Then, there are the campaign pictures. Do any of you guys actually vote for people based on these? Yes, the can be designed nicely, but having the ability to draw doesn't really relate to being a good mayor. In my opinion, the majority of the campaign posters I've seen are completely simple-minded and are only intended to gain an extra vote plus another for any other idiot that's attracted to “pretty colors”.
Now, I do NOT take anything that happens in these games personally, but I AM a competitive person. My experience with this game is like being teamed up with an idiot who can't draw for a game of Pictionary. Sure, it's just a game, but you don't play the game to lose. I want to win, and I'm fairly certain that all of you want to too, so if you guys vote for me, regardless of whether we win or lose, I will guarantee you that this game will DEFINITELY worth playing.
Also, if anyone has any disagreements or grievances with anything I've said, I don't really give a damn, so don't bother replying to this or PQing me; I won't respond back.