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Mafia XL: Bigger is Better.
Product Placement at 4:20PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 7,078
joined: 10-18-2007
Goodness gracious. We're all the way to the 40th game. Not only that, it looks like I'm running shop, yet again. Since this is the XL game, I couldn't help taking inspiration from the Roman Numerals and it was decided that this game would be fast food themed.

So strap on your bib and loosen that belt cause we're in for a ride…

Introducing:

Art by Rokulily

Townston is going through the latest health craze, where celery munching is all the rave. Broccoli farming is a booming industry and tofu has never been more popular. For sure, the town has never been fitter.

But is it safer?

With the fast food industry almost out of business, the heads of the chains have descended to life of crime; backed by the infamous “Ron the Don”. Their ultimate goal is to get rid of all the biggest healthy lifestyle supporters, so that they can start selling their filth -sound of a gun cocking-…eh… I mean… their wonderful and delicious convenience food to their valued customers of Townston.

This game will use standard rules, using my interpretations on them. The mafia however will receive a drastic modification:

Important to read!
This game will feature a unique style of a mafia. Instead of the classic close knit group, the mafia will be a loose coalition of criminals. Under normal circumstances they'd be rivals but have for now set aside their differences, while they're working at their common goal. They do not know the identity of each other. Also, while one of them is technically the Don, each one has a special skill, instead of the classic “pile-o-powers” that's bestowed on the Godfather alone.

The game takes turns, alternating between day cycles and nights. Each cycle takes 24 hours and will end when the GM posts his narration. Each narration is scheduled to be released around 12 AM GMT or 6 PM US Central. Since players can hail from all over the world, it is important that they know which time zone they are in so that they can know when to expect the next narration. Here's a GMT conversion table.


"Here's how it works. Figure out where in the world you live and locate that place on the map. Follow the line you're living in down to the bottom of the map and locate a number down there. Use that number to change the time. If you live in a +6 zone then the narration will be up at 6 AM. If you live in a +12 then it will be up at 12 PM (Noon).

For those living in America, here's a handy time table to show you at what time you can expect the narrations.


Obligatory standard list of roles:

With 20 players, the number of starting roles will be:

PRO TOWN:
1 Diet Planner (Detective)
1 Sportacus (Vigilante)
2 Fitness trainers (Paramedic)
1 Recovering Sugar Junky (Paranoid)
1 Vegan (Veteran)
9 Vegetarians (Townies)

Criminals:
1 Ron AKA “the Don”
1 Sanders AKA “The Colonel”
1 Caesar AKA “Little Caesar”
1 Gwendolen AKA “Wendy”
1 B.K. AKA “The King”

PETA Employees.
PETA has recognized the town as an ideal location to set up shop and has moved into the town center, effectively taking things over. Some of the villagers are now working for it, thus receiving additional powers. These players are selected via election or random selection.

President of PETA
The biggest health nut is selected to become the President of PETA, during the start of the game, due to his avid hate for the fast food industry. As a result, he's given a wide range of powers.
Backed by PETA: Increased vote count of 2 during lynching.
We have to think of the animals!: The President of PETA can declare 2 double lynches anytime during the game When double lynches are in effect each player gets two votes on two different people.(The president of PETA must notify the GM during the night cycle or early on in the day day cycle if he wants to do a double lynch, so voting can be arranged accordingly).
We've got aides!: You heard right! PETA employees got aides. They're supper skinny and healthy as a result. They wish they could give you aides themselves but they're hogging all the aides in townston for themselves and you can't have any. As long as the PETA employees have aides, they can't be killed during the night.
Examples must be made!: The President of PETA has the option of insta-lynching one player by the end of Day 1, once he's won the election. No voting takes place. Whoever the President picks gets lynched. Take heed though if you plan to use this ability since no clues have been given that could help point you at a criminal at that time.


The only person in PETA, with common sense.
As the only person in PETA with any hint of common sense, you realize that killing people just because they might have hurt a puppy is not what PETA should stand for. Being the runner up of the election, you get the power to pardon up to two individual, during the course of the game. Pardoning both suspects during a double lynch will use up both powers but it's also possible to pardon one suspect while lynching the other. He will have to notify the GM within one hour of lynch vote results before the lynch is actually posted. The only person in PETA, with a common sense is unable to pardon during the insta-lynch. Since he's a PETA employee, he will also have aides and is thus safe during the nights.


Aid
Two random vegetarians will serves as personal trainers and dietitians for the town leadership, once the President of PETA has been elected. As long as the aides are alive, the PETA employees cannot be killed or targeted by any special power since the aides keep them safe.


Health Nuts!
Lynch a bad guy during the day. Survive the night. Rinse and repeat. Players who are Health Nuts are in business to save Townston from obesity and diabetes.


Sportacus
After watching one too many Lazy Town episodes, this interesting individual has decided to fight unhealthy lifestyles… quite literally. Each night he can target and kill someone who he believes to be the equivalent of Robby Rotten. Be careful who you chose though because you just might be taking out a friendly.


Fitness trainer
These guys hate seeing someone unfit so they're likely to pick you off the streets and give you a good workout.
Come along stringbeans, we're pulling an all nighter!: The personal trainer can pick someone at night and trap them in their gym. They're doomed to work those weights ‘til dawn but at least they’ll be safe from attacks in the meantime. (A person is considered protected if he's targeted by the Personal trainer)
Note: A protected person can still perform night actions. I will rule that they managed to perform their action before they got carried away by the trainer.


Diet Planner
Nobody is as nosy and controlling as the Diet Planer. Chasing the villagers around and checking into their grocery bags, nobody will get away with sneaking a bite of a treat, while he's around. As a result, The Diet Planner might occasionally discover the identity of a member of the Fast food mafia.
Who said you could eat that!?: The diet planer will sometimes sneak into peoples houses and look in their fridge, to see if they're eating right. Should he discover fast food during one of these visits, he'll realize that the owner is a Fast food mafia member. This power can only be used twice.
Why, I believe I recognize that footprint!: Since the Diet Planer measures the weight of everyone in townston, he's has a complete record of how heavy each of the villagers are. Since he saw in CSI once that you can figure out how heavy someone was by the dept of their footprint, he can look up to see if a specific player was behind a specific attack. (The Diet Planer can ask the GM if a specific player committed a specific crime and get a yes/no answer).
There's grease on these ballots!: Looking up the vote results, the Diet Planer can figure out if any Fast Food Mobsters participated in the election. Should he choose to use this power he'll be able to find out if any mobsters voted for a specific player (mayoral or lynch) and also how many mobsters voted for him.


Recovering Sugar Junky
In the past you lived off the white stuff. You were binging 3 six packs of soda a day and everything you ate was glazed. Had Jesus been more like you, our communion vine equivalent would have been Corn Syrup. However, with all these recent sugar taxes and banns, sugar is almost nonexistant in Townston. As a result, you're suffering. You're suffering allot. You spend the nights sitting in the corner banging your head against the wall. Anyone who dares to walk into your house is a dead man, cause the slightest upsetting thing can make that fragile twig that's your sanity snap like a… twig.


Vegan
You're the epiphany of dietary health. Nobody is as healthy as you.
My body is a temple: Staying away from such horrible disgusting things as cow gland excrements and bee droppings has really payed off. Not only can you rub your health into the noses of others, you also got got an extra night life. Two attacks must be made on him before he dies.


Vegetarian
You're the average lettuce munching vegetarian. However, you still eat dairy so so you're not as perfect as the vegan. You get to vote during the days, like everyone else. You represent the majority of the town so numbers are on your side. If you can work together you can defeat the evil fast food industry.


THE FAST FOOD MAFIA!

This loose coalition of Fast food owners have banded together in an uneasy union. They trust each other as far as they can throw them so all conversations are done via courier service (GM handles communication between The Don and his teammates). As a result, the mobsters do not know the identity of each other so they might occasionally run into each other on the streets at night. When that happens they will not kill each other (unless specified otherwise).


Ron

AKA “the Don”

The organizer of this alliance; Ron the Don is the mastermind criminal of Townston. Nothing can be proven on him since he knows how to cover his tracks.
Mastermind Criminal: Ron has the Behind the curtains power of the classic Godfather which he never looses. That means that no dirt can ever be dug up about him and he can't be killed during the nights at all.
Send them a happy meal: Serving under Ron is his notorious henchman, Grimace, who goes on errands for him. Every night he can execute on behalf of his master. Should Grimace walk into the house of the Recovering Sugar Junky, he will die and Ron will lose this power. Grimace will not kill the other mafia members that he accidentally targets but will instead report their identity back to his master.
Courier service: Birdie; Ron's second henchman delivers messages back and forth from his master and the other mobsters. This power is activated by PQing the GM. If the mobsters receive a message from the Don, they can reply back, should they chose to do so (Identities can not be transferred this way, since the mobsters don't want to reveal their identities to each other I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY TWISTS TO WORK AROUND THIS RULE!).


Sanders

AKA “The Colonel”

The Colonel is a twisted sort. Under the cool and calm facade that he portrays, lies a sick, sick man, with strong Southern ties.
What are ya? Some sort of Chicken?: The Colonel thinks that anyone who can't handle eating a little bit of meat is a dam sissy and a coward so every night he can go out and accuse someone of being a yellow bellied chicken. Under normal circumstances the person who gets accused of such will either feel ashamed or angered by the verbal attack but in this case it's a more serious matter. The sheer idea that this person might be poultry sends the Colonel on a mad hunger rage, prompting in his attempt to eat him. Terrified of this madman, the person will run for his life and attempt to ditch town for the nigh but he'll have a 50/50 chance of actually escaping. Should he escape he will go on a hiding and disappear for the next day. During this time, he's immune to any other attacks (since no one can find him) but he's also unable to use his powers (including the ability to vote), during that time. Should the Colonel target another mobster, he will back down and leave him alone but he will now be aware of his identity.


Caesar

AKA “Little Caesar”

“Little” Caesar, as he's often called, is a former bureaucrat with experience in bribing the right people, here and there. This has served him well in the past, keeping the food board of his back but times have changed, with this latest health craze.
Political ties: Once in the game, Caesar can force a lynch cancel.
My turn to stab!: Caesar can kill every night but will leave his comrades alone. Should he encounter another mobster, he will ignore them but be informed of their identity.


B.K.

AKA “The King”

B.K.'s the type that knows no personal boundaries. People of Townston have gone accustomed to him popping out of their broom closet, finding him in their showers or waking up with him lying next to them; just so that he can introduce his newest product.
Wake up with the king: B.K. often peaks up at the strangest places, handing people some of his promotional items. This time he's presenting a delicious tofu burger for the health nuts, in order to stay in business. What the health nuts don't know is that the burger contains a special surprise…
(This is the mad hatter equivalent. Each night, B.K. can give a burger to someone or activate the special ingredient in a burger that he's already given away. K.K. can only keep up to two unactivated burgers in circulation at a time but is free to give away more, once he's activated one).
Should B.K. give a tofu burger to one of his teammates, they will refuse since the Fast food mafia won't eat crap like that. B.K. Will discover the identity of a mafia member that he gives a burger to.


Gwendolen

AKA “Wendy”

“Wendy”, as she prefers being known as, has always had great difficulty setting up shop in Townston, due to her competitors having saturated the market with their goods. As a result, she's the most resentful team-member of them all.
I'm sorry, I never got that memo: Wendy goes out at night and kills anyone she pleases. Should she encounter a mafia member, she will not hesitate in taking out her rival, in order to pave way to her success. Because of similar grievances, she can relates a little bit with Jack and should she meet him on the street, secret backstabbing packs might get formed.


SERIAL KILLER!

Robert

AKA “Jack in the Box”

Jack recently survived an attempt on his life, that was orchestrated by his top competitors in the fast food industry. After spending few months in coma, he's now finally woken up to find himself in a hostile environment where his loyal customers have either moved on to shop at his rivals or completely given up fast food.
There can be only one! Jack goes out at night with one clear goal in mind; payback! He's got a bone to pick with the fast food mafia and he wishes to clear the town of these anti-fast food propaganda that's damaging his business so much. He can kill once a night.
…although, I'm willing to make an exception. Should Jack encounter Wendy, he will not attack her. Instead he will propose a partnership where they take out the mafia together and establish themselves as the head cheese of the fast food industry. If Wendy agrees, she will be able to share victory with Jack but not with the mafia. This pact is made in secret so Wendi does not loose her mafia privileges (meaning that the mafia members will not attack her, believing she's still on their side).
Fool me once… Jack is more cautious nowadays, after his previous attempt on his life. He can decide to stay hidden during nights, rather then killing people. He's considered protected during the entire night.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Product Placement at 4:22PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 7,078
joined: 10-18-2007
Useful Info!

Remaining roles:

PRO TOWN:
1 Diet Planner (Detective)
0 Sportacus (Vigilante)
0 Fitness trainers (Paramedic)
0 Recovering Sugar Junky (Paranoid)
0 Vegan (Veteran)
0 Vegetarians (Townies)
0 Aid (Bodyguard)

Criminals:
0 Ron AKA “the Don”
0 Sanders AKA “The Colonel”
1 Caesar AKA “Little Caesar”
0 Gwendolen AKA “Wendy”
1 B.K. AKA “The King”
0 Robert AKA “Jack in the Box”


Living Players:

1: Mettaur the Atomic Mirelurk - Jack in the Box - Died during night 3
2: KomradeDave - Aid - Died during night 1
3: Anthony Mercer the Emotional Lurker - Fitness Trainer - Died during night 5
4: seventy2 - Vegetarian - Died during night 1
5: Salsa the Luckless - Sportacus - Died during night 5
6: shirkersama - Vegan - Died during day 6
7: D_Dude - The Colonel - Died during night 3
8: I Am The 1337 Master the Goddamn Batman - Vegetarian - Died during night 4
9: TheFlyingGreenMonkey the Record Holder of Titles - Vegetarian - Died during night 2
10:Randomdudeperson the Confusing - Vegetarian - Died during day 4
11:Byndris - Vegetarian - Died during night 6
12:rokulily the Minister of Cuteness - Fitness Trainer - Died during night 1
13:Gullas the Impaler and Terrible Gambler - Vegetarian - Died during night 6
14:Niccea the Great Deceiver and Keeper of Records - B.K. - Victor!
15:harkovast the Patron Saint of Finger Pointing and Self Proclaimed Furry Pusher - Aid - Died during night 4
16:BffSatan - Recovering Sugar Junky - Died during Day 2
17:ayesinback - Ron the Don - Died during day 5
18:crocty the Usual Suspect - Caesar - Victor!
19:Ochitsukanai the Trend Setter - Wendy - Died during night 2
20:The Hamburglar - Vegetarian - Died during night 1
21:A Reaver the Artist Formally Known as Same - Diet Planer - Defeated during night 6


Election Results:

Day 1 Mayoral election.

BFFSatan (4) - The New President of PETA
Poster Bonus
Mettaur
TheFlyingGreenMonkey
ayesinback

Salsa (3) - The only person at PETA with any common sense.
Poster Bonus
Salsa
Anthony Mercer

KomradeDave (3)
Poster Bonus
KomradeDave
Randomdudeperson

gullas (3)
Poster Bonus
gullas
harkovast

A Reaver (3)
Animated Poster Bonus
A Reaver
Ochitsukanai

seventy2 (2)
Pster Bonus
seventy2

Rokulily (1)
The Hamburglar

Mettaur (1)
BffSatan


Day 2 Lynch election.

BffSatan (7) - Lynched
shirkersama
A Reaver
crocty
harkovast
Ochitsukanai
Anthony Mercer
Salsa

Ochitsukanai (6)
BffSatan
PETA
Gullas
TheFlyingGreenMonkey
Mettaur
Byndris

Salsa (1)
I Am The 1337 Master

I Am The 1337 Master (1)
Randomdudeperson


Day 3 Lynch election. - Lynch Canceled

D_Dude (5)
Mettaur
shirkersama
ayesinback
Crocty
Anthony Mercer

ayesinback (1)
Salsa


Day 4 Lynch election.

Randomdudeperson (6) - Lynched
I Am The 1337 Master
Salsa
shirkersama
crocty
Anthony Mercer
ayesinback

I Am The 1337 Master (1)
Byndris


Day 5 Lynch election.

ayesinback (5)
crocty
Salsa
shirkersama
Anthony Mercer
gullas

Salsa (2)
ayesinback
A Reaver


Day 6 Lynch election.

shirkersama (2)
crocty
Niccea

Byndris (1)
gullas

Niccea (1)
Byndris


End of turn Narrations:
Day 1.
Night 1.
Day 2.
Night 2.
Day 3.
Night 3.
Day 4.
Night 4.
Day 5.
Night 5.
Day 6.
Night 6 - Final Narration.
Clue Explanation!

Game Over!
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Product Placement at 4:23PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 7,078
joined: 10-18-2007
Opening Narration!

A clever person once asked: “How come they make lemonade out of artificial flavoring but dishwashing fluid from real lemons?”
“Who on earth thought it was a good idea to feed cattle to… you know… cattle?”
“Why are they adding hormones to meat, if it's unproven that such foods are safe to eat?”
In fact, allot of similar questions were asked, after the Townston film festival. Bunch of pretentiousness art films featuring the horrors of the modern food industry were featured in it and the villagers were subjected to countless of images of grotesque butcher techniques.

“Bah!” said Product Placement, unconvinced of the messages of the films. “Bah, I say!”
“But not only are these animals being mistreated; it's terribly unhealthy to eat them.” argued the villagers in return.
Product placement chuckled. “Well, yes. I suppose that just because a film said so, it's the god honest truth. In that case, I should start preparing for the alien invasion that I saw the other night on the Movie channel.”
The sarcasm was not lost to the villagers who still wished to convince the stubborn townie that he was wrong but it was all for not.
“Now , listen here-” continued Product “-I've been eating double deckers, quarter pounders, meat towers and loaded ones for years and I'm perfectly fine as long as drive around in my mobility scooter and don't walk up any stairs. In fact my fast food sponsored doctor said…”

People kept waiting to hear what Product had to say but for some reason he had decided to use charades instead.
“What did your doctor say? That your left arm's fine? Your left arm needs to be grabbed?”
“You need to breathe heavily?”
“Sweat? Is it to sweat more?”
“Lying on the ground and shaking?”
“…”
“…sleep?”

Product Placement the obese Townie is dead!

And there you have it. This was the moment that caused the town to go on the uproar against the fast food industry. And such chances were made that you wouldn't even recognize the town anymore. In just under a month legislations have been passed to ban high fructose corn syrup, trans fats, hormone treated meat, anything that was considered to be bad for you. The farmers market became the most sought out shopping district, where empathies on organic food were still practiced. New stores moved into town, promoting more wholesome foods containing words like “lacto- gluten- ovo- free” and “soy based”.

But what about the old stores?

The once busy packed food district was now stone quiet. Nobody with any sense of self decency stepped into that area nowadays and the once popular eateries were going out of business. A restaurant owner could be seen nailing a sign saying “Going out of business sale” letting out a sigh as he admired his work before going back in.

As he slammed the door behind himself the restaurant owner couldn't help noticing how loud his own footsteps were. He was the only soul inside and it's been like that ever since he was forced to let his staff go. Depressed, the owner sat down at one of his tables and looked at his menu.
“Maybe if I remake my image and introduce healthier food” he thought to himself before his trail of thought was interrupted by the phone ringing. Excited the owner rushes to the phone and greets with his well practiced company greeting, followed by “How may I take your order?”
“I've heard that you're having the same problems as the other fast food places.” said the voice on the phone.
“I swear to god, if this is another one of those phone pranks-” started the owner.
“-None of the sort-” Interrupted the voice. “I was just wondering if you've heard about the newest stunt, that the town has pulled.”
The owner stayed quiet for a short while before asking the voice to go on.
“Apparently Townston is going to become the poster child for none other then PETA and that the organization is going to integrate itself into this place. Their first order of business is to get rid of all companies that promotes meat eating.”
The voice realized that the restaurant owner was stunned in his silence and continued.
“Yes, you heard right. Townston has officially declared war against us. I think something should be done about that.”
“…so what are you proposing?” asked the owner.
“Why… If it's war they want, then we should give them that war…”

“And so I formally declare this place the new PETA headquarters” said the old Mayor as he cut the ribbon strung in front of the old town hall, with great applause.
It was exciting times for the town. It had a new mission. A mission to become the shining example of healthy living and animal rights. So impressed was PETA with the state of this town that it had decided to completely integrate itself into this town. This means that the all financial woes are history, now that it can rely on donations from pet owners all over the world. Now, the first order of business was to hold a town election. An election of a brand new position. One that was to become the head of this town AND the animal rights movement.

Now, the question remains whether or not this future will be secured for the town or if a currently unknown alliance of Fast food owners will be successful in mounting an effective resistance.

The die has been cast so let the future of Townston be decided.

Day 1 has begun.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
seventy2 at 4:43PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 3,953
joined: 11-15-2007
SEVENTY2 FOR PRESIDENT OF PETA! poster to follow.
facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
Niccea at 4:53PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 5,561
joined: 8-10-2007
seventy2
SEVENTY2 FOR PRESIDENT OF PETA! poster to follow.
What do you stand for? (other than eating poor defenseless vegetables)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:15PM
harkovast at 5:04PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 5,198
joined: 10-12-2008
I have to be a vegetarian?
This game has put me in a bad mood already.

For more Harkovast related goings on, go to the Harkovast Forum
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM
Niccea at 5:09PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 5,561
joined: 8-10-2007
Once again here is the SCRIPT that I already have for a podcast…thingy. Please give input so can send the script or recording on to Skool and Ozone.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:15PM
Salsa at 5:47PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 2,384
joined: 7-10-2008
I'm running

Fast Food Mafia Beware.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Randomdudeperson at 5:51PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 611
joined: 9-20-2009
Come-to-think-about-it,…normal-ppl-WANT-the-“mafia”-to-win-this-one-lol!


Salsa,…nonfastfood,-HE-MUST-BE-VEGAN!!!
And-just-realized-capslock-is-broken-too.
:cry2:
gots-my-vote.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:01PM
gullas at 6:00PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 2,308
joined: 11-14-2007
so after seeing how horribly the animals that I slaugh- I mean those savages who slaughter those poor innocent beasts… I've decided to close down my meatshop and re-open it as The “Cucumber Blender” the finest veggie-smoothie joint that this town has ever seen! Sounds so much better than a smelly, meaty butcher's shop… And I'm running for PETA as well :

In times of perilous peril, we all have to put our weight to push the carriage forward, not backwards like uninformed sheeps! Oh how the rejoice if we could tear the hearts out of those pesky fast-food owners and eat their hearts- wait, that's not vegan…. but anywhos, I'll do my best to keep you Townies! informed, and I won't require you to state your role! remember kids, Gullas is here for you and you are here for the buy 1 get 1 veggie smoothie free at Gullas's “Cucumber Blender”. oh and a campaign poster coming soon.

Niccea
scriptzors
Looks good. I've got nothing to add to it.


last edited on July 14, 2011 12:40PM
Mettaur at 6:06PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 2,716
joined: 1-19-2010
Gullas is still a fetus, remember? So he's technically a vege- shut up ProductGhost, I'm trying to talk nonsense-logic here! Anyways, that means he's still a vegetable, and when people start eating vegetables, vegetables start eating people! It's all a lie, and I'm running to prove Gullas a fraud, and set up my brother a college scholarship! If I'm president of PETA, I'll just say he acts like a monkey.

Hastily dug up evidence that Gullas loves meat still! And a very strange meat indeed!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
BffSatan at 6:14PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 1,478
joined: 3-2-2008
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ayesinback at 6:18PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 2,007
joined: 8-23-2010
Mettaur
I'm trying to talk nonsense-logic here!
And succeeding! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Me — I'm into spuds. French fries. yum. made with pure Idahos and canola oil, with salt from the earth.

But I'm also a couch potato, so I'll support the PETA candidate who pledges research into how a steady diet of potatoes can prolong life.
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
Mettaur at 6:23PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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Funny you should mention that, unsuspecting voter. My researchers, being the reanimated zombie hobos from “Plastic Bullets”(Give it a read!) and the wisdom teeth pulled from my jaw just two nights ago, are hard at work researching how fusing mortals with the almighty potato, will increase your life! You'll be a SpudStud!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
BffSatan at 6:32PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 1,478
joined: 3-2-2008


My vote's gonna have to go to Mettaur on account of him being the only other running member of the Townston Potato Party.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
Mettaur at 6:57PM, Feb. 20, 2011
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posts: 2,716
joined: 1-19-2010
My wisdom teeth, being such they have to be full of the wisdom, are telling me to vote for this odd, smoggy voter. And so I shall!

Also, go to Mettaur's healthy smoothie bar, we have all sorts of stuff pilfered from JninjaShadow's cellars to mix in with the bananas and berries! It's just more fruit, but fermented!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
KomradeDave at 7:02PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 589
joined: 9-26-2006


I studied the ancient vegetarian art of To Fu. Vote for me and I will put foots in the appropriate asses.
Handshakes and mustaches are the only ways to know how much you can truly trust a man.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM
seventy2 at 7:03PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 3,953
joined: 11-15-2007
I Stand for eating vegetables, and healthy foods. I don't like it when people wear fur, or kick puppies. (Which one of my opponents, KomradeDave, has implied he will do if elected)

On top of that, I'm the only candidate with a link to an actual self workout blog. and To prove that i'm most awesomest qualified for the job, here is an actual picture of me, in front of my actual garden.

facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
KomradeDave at 7:09PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 589
joined: 9-26-2006
Far be it from me to talk bad about another candidate, but I would be failing you the people if I did not mention that I once saw Seventy2 eating a cow, stuffed with a pig, stuffed with a lamb, stuffed with a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with another smallish sort of chicken. AND THEY WERE ALL WEARING FUR COATS.
Handshakes and mustaches are the only ways to know how much you can truly trust a man.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM
Product Placement at 7:15PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 7,078
joined: 10-18-2007
Just to point out that those who are running need to PQ me their votes as well, regardless if they're voting for themselves or not.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Salsa at 7:41PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(offline)
posts: 2,384
joined: 7-10-2008
Most of the other candidates are saying that they can protect you from the various fast food chains. I'm here to tell you fair citizen that they are deceiving you! The best defense is a brutally effective offense! And I'm the only one that can deliver! With my armadas of starships, various orbital weapons and a vast array of high tech offensive and defensive devices and weaponry, I can protect this town!
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
BffSatan at 8:00PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 1,478
joined: 3-2-2008

Seriously though, don't vote for me; that would be a terrible, terrible thing to do.

MEAT IS MURDER!
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ayesinback at 8:17PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 2,007
joined: 8-23-2010
KomradeDave
I once saw Seventy2 eating a cow, stuffed with a pig, stuffed with a lamb, stuffed with a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with another smallish sort of chicken. AND THEY WERE ALL WEARING FUR COATS.

GAH!!!!!

can't

can't stop

picturing

the HAIRBALL


under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
Product Placement at 8:34PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 7,078
joined: 10-18-2007
All right. Sleeping now.

Try not to burn down the place while I'm away, ya hear?
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
A Reaver at 9:00PM, Feb. 20, 2011
(online)
posts: 196
joined: 1-10-2011
You should vote for me. I think I'm a pretty cool guy. Ah surf sharks and I doesnt afraid of anything.
HERES PROOF!!
Give it a second to load.

Shiny new comic.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:44AM
Randomdudeperson at 12:24AM, Feb. 21, 2011
(online)
posts: 611
joined: 9-20-2009
unless someone can beat komradedaves cute little tofu thing, hes got my vote.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:01PM
D_Dude at 12:26AM, Feb. 21, 2011
(online)
posts: 214
joined: 6-13-2008
This must be the most candidates we have ever had, I'd say.
FEAR THE BADGER!
It's not overkill if you don't hit him.
Sir! We are surrounded! … Good. Then we can charge in EVERY direction.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:18PM
Ochitsukanai at 1:17AM, Feb. 21, 2011
(online)
posts: 979
joined: 6-11-2008
D_Dude
This must be the most candidates we have ever had, I'd say.
It makes sense given the amount of different roles and the fact that the mafia don't appear to know the identities of one another in this game. Whomever gets the mayorship is well-protected.

That is exactly why, in this game more than most, we need to elect someone who has a verifiable townie role and is willing to share it, not just vote based on posters or personalities. I'm reserving my vote until then.

edit: someday I'll learn to finish my sentences, I will indeed

Always, I wanna be with mew, and make believe with mew
and live in harmony harmony oh nyan
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:20PM
crocty at 2:22AM, Feb. 21, 2011
(online)
posts: 6,673
joined: 8-16-2007
Blerp. Alright I was hoping for a nice quiet game where I do nothing, but okay, I'll have my candidate poster/speech up later. Off out soon.
THIS NEW SITE SUCKS I'M LEAVING FOREVER I PROMISE, GUYS.
NOT BLUFFING, I'M GONE IF YOU DON'T FIX IT.
Oh god I'm so alone someone pay attention to me
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:54AM
A Reaver at 5:06AM, Feb. 21, 2011
(online)
posts: 196
joined: 1-10-2011
I lost sleep over making that animation :,(.
Well at least Roku commented on it.

Shiny new comic.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:44AM

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