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Mafia XLI: Crash Landing
Salsa at 11:49AM, March 16, 2011
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DA SETUP
Duck Wars
three thousand two hundred forty-two years, seven months, two weeks, three days, seven hours, six minutes, and 14.34578978 seconds in the future there is a war going on between the Humanity Union Meta Bureau of Unlimited Gruesomeness and the Federal Republics of Orion are at War. An epic struggle takes place among the stars. Fleets numbering in the thousands do battle over pivotal locations. Each one flinging the fury of a hundred suns at each other. This has nothing to do with New Townston, a colony on a small backwater world belonging to H.U.M.B.U.G., except that a band of resistance fighters has now taken root. And pouring liquid oxygen over the whole damn mess is a recon pilot whose been shot down. And for the piece de resistance, the town has been conscripted to fix both problems. There goes the the neighborhood.
DA ROLES
HUMBUG Infantry
You've been assigned the task of ridding your town of the resistance fighters that have cropped up as well as capturing the recon pilot for interrogation. There are also rumors of an alien menace terrorizing the citizenry, investigate and neutralize any threat. Failure in these objectives will result in paperwork, lots and lots of paperwork.

The Commander(1) Elected: Due to some flub up at central, the town is left with out a commanding officer, so they elect one. As the CO you have several abilities:
This is a democracy: you cast two votes instead of one.
Discipline is the root of efficiency:This is war, efficiency is the key to victory so lynching two people at a time is more efficient and helps get the troops to work a little harder to find those pesky resistance fighters. Can be declared twice.
Surrounded by a layer of ablative meat:You're the CO, you don't take bullets your troops take bullets for you. Cannot be killed at night while both of his Honor Guard troops are alive, lynching is fair game though.
Fire at will: For one night all your non-specialists will be able to kill one other person. Use with caution because your Honor Guard is reduced by one for the night.

The Exec(1)Elected: You ran for the top slot but couldn't cut it. But hey, being second in command has it's own perks.
You're all on KP duty!:When things get out of hand you can cancel a lynch and put everyone on KP duty for the remainder of the day. Can be used twice. If used during a double lynch only one of them is spared.
Surrounded by a layer of ablative meat:You're the CO, you don't take bullets your troops take bullets for you. Cannot be killed at night while both of his Honor Guard troops are alive, lynching is fair game though.
Burning through the ranks:If The Commander is killed You become The Commander with all the powers and responsibilities all one shot abilities are restored and can be used along with you're normal abilities.

The Tank(1): You're a bloody tank. No one takes you down on the first try and you kill people and break their stuff, with kiloton yields. You have two night lives every night (tanks can be repaired) and get one kill every night. Attacking the paranoid, being attacked by the Demolitions expert, or getting lynched is an instakill.

INFINTOPS(1): You're the intel guy, you've got dirt on almost everyone.
Background check: reveals whether someone is HUMBUG Infantry or an impostor. If used on the Downed Recon Pilot, it's an insta-capture. can be used twice
HEY THAT'S NOT YOUR UNIFORM!: can check the results of any vote to find out how many enemies voted.

Medic(2): You took and oath long ago to “Do no harm,” well at least not directly. You can protect one person a night, but you can't protect each other.

Black Ops (1): You are a black angel come from the heavens to bring fear to your enemies. You appear as a regular grunt to the Bug Man. You can kill anyone, anytime, but only once.

Paranoid (1): Gunfire, explosion and the muzak of the combat make you jumpy, really jumpy. You kill the first person that comes near you every night. The only exceptions are the Demolitions Expert and the Black Ops guy.

Quartermaster (1): You know people, people that do shady, but nowhere near treasonous things. You know the role of one of the infantry, you can completely trust this person.

Honor Guard (2): Your job is to take a bullet for the under-qualified, over-paid Brass. Sucks to be you.

Grunt (the rest of the lot): You stand at attention, get shot at, and lynch people to relieve the tedium. If you're lucky you live to fight another day. If you're really lucky you get to shoot back. If you're unlucky, well good luck being a human shield, hope you already got life insurance.



La Resistance!
VIVA LA REVOLUTION! You are tired of the way this way has brought out the worst in the government. Your solution? Rebel and establish a new government. or at least not get deaded. Your goal is to outnumber the HUMBUG Infantry, kill or capture the recon pilot, and kill the Black Marketeer and the Schlockinator.

Chief (1): You're tha big cheese of this group of misfits. You are cunning, your armed, and, most importantly, you've got cunning, dangerous friends to help you kill people and break stuff.
Smoke and mirrors: You can cancel one lynch, in the event of a double lynch, you cancel both of them. Can be used once.
Hard ball: You can arrange for someone break someone else's legs. This person can't do anything for two cycles. Passive abilities such as night lives and reflex killings still work. Does not work on the Tank. HE DRIVES A FRIGGIN' TANK!
Hiding in plain sight: You appear as a simple HUMBUG Infantryman. While in this state, you are immune from attacks.
Let's blow shit up: You appear as a resistance fighter. You can kill people and break their stuff. You can be attacked, but you can shoot back. triggered by A ) sending in a kill. B ) losing the rest of your team.

Demolitions Expert (1): You love your job, I mean REALLY love your job. You blow stuff up. You're also the only person that can one shot the tank. You can plant as many bombs and IDE's as you like, but you can have two in circulation. They explode on command or when you die. If a person with a bomb is killed, the bomb is gone. Poof, bye-bye. You can't blow up a bomb on the same night that you plant one, and you can only plant one bomb a night.

Bug Man (1): You're the electronics expert. You ride info currents as easily as you breath. This gives you some special abilities.
Ghost in the machine: You can gather clues to a person's true role, but only once. You can use this ability once every cycle, but be forewarned, they know you're out there.
Bug in the system: You're bugs are the best. You can get much better intel than the INFINTOPS guy, but at a price. While you can find out the true role of one person, you can only do it once. You can't use this on anyone who you have already used the GITM ability on.

Bob (2): Nondescript, uninteresting, unemotional, You can shoot an entire family in the face and not even flinch. You can kill once a night.



Neutral
You're not for any of the above sides. Your goals are all different but one thing's for sure, you REALLY wish th HUMBUG was dead dead DEAD!

The Recon Pilot (1) getting shot down sucks. Getting shot down while over a rinky dink planet sucks even more. And being behind enemy lines just seems par for the course. You want off this damn rock and the only way to do it is to find a smuggler. if your attacked at night by the tank at anytime, or by anyone else while searching for the Black Marketeer, you'll be captured. instead of killed. The difference is that you can vote until the end of the game and are protected from further attacks. You just can't go anywhere. you can still be lynched though. If captured, the side that captures the Recon Pilot gets a boost during the next night or until the end of the game. Boosts include: Non-kill roles get a onetime chance to kill, Extra night life for kill roles. + 25% chance of survival, extra lynch cancel, extra Fire at Will, and extra shots on limited abilities for detectives.
Button up: You kill anyone who attacks you. It doesn't matter who and what manner. Unless it's the Tank then I guess it's a good thing you have a spare set of knickers.
Roll out:You're looking for the Black Marketeer. You pq the GM the person you're going to visit. If it is the Black Marketeer, yippee you're off this rock. If it isn't, well you just have to wait until tomorrow night. Since you listen before rushing in, you can't be killed by the paranoid.

The Black Marketeer (1): You look pretty and smile No one suspects you, but you deal in, ah, questionable items. Your goal is to live until the end of this whole mess. As a provider of cool, quasi-legal items you have a few tricks up your sleeve.
Harmless: you appear as a HUMBUG Infantryman to the INFINTOPS guy. You are immune from attack from the HUMBUG Infantry. You remain in this state until the recon pilot gets off world, dies, or is captured.
Mostly Harmless: You can now kill once per night, but you're also vulnerable to attack.
For a nominal fee: anyone can come to you for protection, but for a price. You can change the vote of anyone who seeks protection from you at any vote. However, you can only do this once per person and only once per vote. (You can't change seven people's votes on one vote, but you can change their votes over seven votes) Also you operate on a first come first serve basis.

Schlockinator (1): You burn your enemies to ash, then eat them. You love to kill and do it often. You have two night lives period. While you can be lynched, You can take one person down with you. you want to kill everyone except the Black Marketeer.


Narrations will be at 18:00 CST unless stated otherwise. (that's 0:00 GMT) actions end an hour before that.

Clues will come from profiles, comic thumbnails, friends, the first few pages of any comic and the author's notes, favorites, and avatars. They will be hard (as hard as I can make them anyway) and they will be attached to any action. Killings and protections being the most obvious.

I will also incorporate any zany, crazy, inane, asinine, and otherwise weird request you may have into the narrations, if I can. Keep it clean please.

First person to submit an action or vote each cycle gets to request a drawing, which will be displayed in the next narration, quality may be suspect, but I will try my best.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Salsa at 11:50AM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 2,384
joined: 7-10-2008
Players list:
1. Bff Satan Died Night 2 Schlockinator
2. gullas the Impaler and the terrible gambler
3. Anthony Mercer the Emotional Lurker Died Night 3 Bob
4. therealtj
5. seventy2
6. Mettaur the Atomic Mirelurk Died Day 2 Grunt
7. I Am The 1337 Master the Goddamn Batman
8. TheFlyingGreenMonkey Mister “has-too-many-titles”
9. D_Dude
10.Rengishi
11.ayesinback Died Night 2 Bug Man
12.harkovast The Patron Saint of Finger Pointing and resident furry pusher Died Day 3 Bob
13.crocty The Usual Suspect Died Day 3 Demolitions Expert
14.rokulily The minister of Cuteness Died Night 1 Honor Guard
15.Product Placement The Game Master
16.A Reaver The artist formerly Known as Same
17.Ochitsukanai The Trend Setter
18.shirkersama Died Day 3 grunt
19.Niccea The Great Deceiver and Keeper of Records

Narrations:

-Opening
-Night 1
-Day 2
-Night 2
-Day 3
-Night 3

Lynch Votes:
-Day 2
-Day 3
-Day 4

Mayor Elections:

I Am The 1337 Master: (1)
Propaganda Poster Bonus

TheFlyingGreenMonkey: (4)
TheFlyingGreenMonkey
(Very Disturbing) Propaganda Poster Bonus
Rengishi
Ochitsukanai

A Reaver: (6) LEAD
A Reaver
Propaganda Poster Bonus
gullas
ayesinback
crocty, bitch
Anthony Mercer

Mettaur: (5) Second
Mettaur
Propaganda Poster Bonus
harkovast
seventy2
Product Placement

seventy2: (3)
(Mildly Disturbing) Propaganda Poster Bonus
shirkersama

BffSatan: (2)
BffSatan
Propaganda Poster Bonus
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Salsa at 11:53AM, March 16, 2011
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Day 1 Opening Narration

The pilot sighed as he watched the last of the transit energy from h-space travel flicker into oblivion. Which sums up this assignment pretty well, he thought miserably. He sighed and goosed the throttle to accelerate his small spacecraft towards the lone rocky planet that orbited the unremarkable star at the heart of the system.

“Well,” he muttered, “felling sorry for myself isn't going to get the job done.”

Nothing showed up on the highly sensitive passive sensors as he edged ever closer to the planet.

—–

Missiles thundered through the sky at the very edge of the planet's atmosphere. The recon pilot jerked the stick to his left to corkscrew out of their way.

“Friggen missiles! Figures those idiots would stealth the launchers,” grunted the pilot as he felt the g-forces slam him into the seat that he sat in.

Another wave launched, this time much too close to get good tracking, but the jinky pilot had finally run out of luck as one exploded nearly shearing off one of his wings. The pilot fought to regain control as his bird fell out of the sky like a home sick meteor.

—–

The People's Recruiter Lieutenant (Lower Middle Grade) Salsa, looked out the window of the shuttle as the sky slowly turned from black to indigo to baby blue. He grunted as the pilot came of the intercom.

“Attention passengers,” again he grunted, this time to stifle a caustic laugh for he was the only one in the entire passenger compartment, “we're about fifteen minutes out, please buckle up and enjoy the view.”

This time he did laugh caustically. View? The whole planet was remarkable in that it was all bland, unimaginative, and all one climate, bland 70 degree Fahrenheit woods with bland 30 foot tall trees. Worst of all, a resistance cell decided to crop up recently in the only decent town on the entire planet.

“And let's not forget the pilot who went down here as well,” he grumbled to himself.

—–

“Now that you're all here,” the People's Recruiter Lieutenant (LMG) began to the assembled townspeople, “I must tell you that there is a resistance group on this planet that needs wiping out.”

The people gasped as the Lieutenant continued, “there is also a downed enemy pilot, who crashed not to far from here. The HUMBUG military has seen fit to draft the entire town in order to take care of both problems. Capture the pilot and kill the resistance fighters. There is one more problem, I do not have the authority to assign people to command slots and the powers-that-be did not assign anyone to those slots. The Regs, however, state that in this fortunately rare case, that the people may elect their own Commanding and Executive officers.

”You all have until tonight to decide,“ Then the Lieutenant added, ”I'll also be keeping you all up to date with the war effort throughout my stay here. That is all. Dismissed"

Day 1 has begun.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Product Placement at 1:27PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 7,078
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Well, it's not every day I get the first post.



So who's running?
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 1:35PM, March 16, 2011
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Elect me and I will be the best mayor ever.

I will:
-Not burn your house down.
-Not start a pot plantation with the money from the town budget.
-And blame the Jews!

But seriously, the some things I will do are:
-Kill an evil pardoner/not let him/her become evil in the first place.
-Solve clues
-Cleverly use my powers
-Take the advice of the people
-Never lie/betray/destroy/TFGM-ify the town

And poster:



And I will use the insta-lynch if I get elected.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:55PM
Salsa at 1:37PM, March 16, 2011
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Well, everyone should have there roles. C'mon, people, this out fit needs a CO!
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
ayesinback at 1:54PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 2,012
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Yes, on a burned-out planet, a Commander would probably be a good idea.

I'm not a candidate, as I believe I am the sole representative of W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R. (Waiting Happily As The Ever-Verbose Exclaimers Re-emerge).

*I do so enjoy verbose exclaimers :) *
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
therealtj at 2:16PM, March 16, 2011
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Product Placement
Well, it's not every day I get the first post.



So who's running?
I think Product Placement should be our leader. His throbbing masculinity is just what we need to feel safe and secure.
How did you get to be a mod? You don't even abuse your powers for self gain! Honestly!

“The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.”
-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At the End of the Universe
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
Mettaur at 2:40PM, March 16, 2011
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I'm a grunt. *grunts*

Vote for me!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Salsa at 2:42PM, March 16, 2011
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Okay, just to let everybody know, you have to PQ votes to me. Candidates must let me know if they want to vote for themselves.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 2:45PM, March 16, 2011
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…:[

I really wanna be mayor guys…

Commander if you will…

Please?



(/emotional speech of convincingness)
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:55PM
ayesinback at 2:58PM, March 16, 2011
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Is it too late to give Mett an avi (if he likes it)?

Not that Jack isn't totally Boss

under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
Product Placement at 3:05PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 7,078
joined: 10-18-2007
therealtj
Product Placement
Well, it's not every day I get the first post.



So who's running?
I think Product Placement should be our leader. His throbbing masculinity is just what we need to feel safe and secure.
Why, thank you for those kind (albeit slightly disconcerting) words. I'll definitely think about it.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
gullas at 3:08PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 2,308
joined: 11-14-2007
well, being recruited as a grunt does not interfere with my work as the local butcher… Oh and we have lovely Cyborg-thighs for sale today :D
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:40PM
therealtj at 3:18PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 3,282
joined: 3-15-2007
Product Placement
therealtj
Product Placement
Well, it's not every day I get the first post.



So who's running?
I think Product Placement should be our leader. His throbbing masculinity is just what we need to feel safe and secure.
Why, thank you for those kind (albeit slightly disconcerting) words. I'll definitely think about it.
That's the abusive spirit! You'll be an admin in no time.

“The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.”
-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At the End of the Universe
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
ayesinback at 3:23PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 2,012
joined: 8-23-2010
gullas
well, being recruited as a grunt does not interfere with my work as the local butcher… Oh and we have lovely Cyborg-thighs for sale today :D

ooooo Corned Cyborg-thighs and Cabbage! Happy St Paddy's
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
seventy2 at 5:11PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 3,953
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I would like to preface this, that i only run for mayor when i'm not mafia.

but the last two games i've revealed my role, i've died on the first night


I'M RUNNING FOR FRIGGIN MAYOR OF SPACE!

I promise no pants! all to be revealed by my propaganda poster in due time.

I would also like to mention that technically i believe i'm the only person with any military experience, and thus perfectly suited for the job of commander.
facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
Product Placement at 6:19PM, March 16, 2011
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seventy2
I would also like to mention that technically i believe i'm the only person with any military experience, and thus perfectly suited for the job of commander.
Roku's dad was in the navy. Does that count?
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
TheFlyingGreenMonkey at 6:27PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 3,830
joined: 12-19-2008
I'm running on the platform that I am MEDIC! With that said DINNER! And then a poster.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:19PM
Mettaur at 6:34PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 2,716
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I'm a damn good shot with a rifle. But man, first time at the range I almost killed myself, I had my eye right on the scope. If I fired then, that things would have jacked into my skull. But hey, I learned, and I'm not that bad at a target.

Moving ones are still hard for me to hit. Also, I'm good at spotting things, but probably not in a combat situation.
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
rokulily at 6:42PM, March 16, 2011
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TheFlyingGreenMonkey
I'm running on the platform that I am MEDIC! With that said DINNER! And then a poster.

moooooooooooooonnnnnnkey. the things you do. the things. you. do.

-shakes head-

Product Placement
seventy2
I would also like to mention that technically i believe i'm the only person with any military experience, and thus perfectly suited for the job of commander.
Roku's dad was in the navy. Does that count?
my dad and my grandpa were both military guys, and then next generation what happens? artist. geeze… i am dropping that ball
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:10PM
seventy2 at 6:44PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 3,953
joined: 11-15-2007


BAM.

Everyone can be pantless, and not worry.
facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
Mettaur at 6:58PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 2,716
joined: 1-19-2010
Seventy 2
I feel uncomfortable with pants!
Thanks, but I'd prefer the destructive revenge part.

And I stand for the respect of women here!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
TheFlyingGreenMonkey at 7:59PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 3,830
joined: 12-19-2008
I ask my opponents these hard hitting questions.

Have you ever been mayor when Salsa has GMed a game? (I have)
Are you as good at solving/manipulating the clues as I am? (I'm not. I am better than I am)
What is a Salsa game with out a TFGM mayor?


last edited on July 14, 2011 4:19PM
Salsa at 9:25PM, March 16, 2011
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Special HUMBUG News Bulletin

-FRO naval forces were beaten back in the quasi-strategic system of Quicken Alpha-1234321. They incurred heavy losses of three frigates and ten corvettes to our light losses of three hundred battleships, fifteen hundred cruisers, and three thousand lighter units. Suspected reason for withdrawal was exhaustion of munitions.

-The Miss HUMBUG Navy pageant has requested seventy2 to elaborate on his platform of flattering one-piece super-soldier suits for all the women currently in Townston Brigade 13666. There as also been some questions about his pants-optional policy, but declined to answer those questions at the time of this bulletin.

-The new mark 17 heavy armor has been rushed into service. Despite concerns over the effectiveness of the armor, the effectiveness has surpassed the previous mark 16 by 40 orders of magnitude at an effectiveness rating of 0.0004%.

-1337 master is reminded that since he was the first one to vote, he can request a drawing of his choice.

Thank you for paying attention to this HUMBUG News Bulletin.

All the People's Recruiter Lieutenant could do was cry at the stupidity of his nation's military.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
TheFlyingGreenMonkey at 11:45PM, March 16, 2011
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posts: 3,830
joined: 12-19-2008
Salsa
Special HUMBUG News Bulletin

-FRO naval forces were beaten back in the quasi-strategic system of Quicken Alpha-1234321. They incurred heavy losses of three frigates and ten corvettes to our light losses of three hundred battleships, fifteen hundred cruisers, and three thousand lighter units. Suspected reason for withdrawal was exhaustion of munitions.

-The Miss HUMBUG Navy pageant has requested seventy2 to elaborate on his platform of flattering one-piece super-soldier suits for all the women currently in Townston Brigade 13666. There as also been some questions about his pants-optional policy, but declined to answer those questions at the time of this bulletin.

-The new mark 17 heavy armor has been rushed into service. Despite concerns over the effectiveness of the armor, the effectiveness has surpassed the previous mark 16 by 40 orders of magnitude at an effectiveness rating of 0.0004%.

-1337 master is reminded that since he was the first one to vote, he can request a drawing of his choice.

Thank you for paying attention to this HUMBUG News Bulletin.

All the People's Recruiter Lieutenant could do was cry at the stupidity of his nation's military.
Amazing that the news report fails to mention that a mass murderer is running for office.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:19PM
gullas at 3:37AM, March 17, 2011
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posts: 2,308
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TheFlyingGreenMonkey
Salsa
Special HUMBUG News Bulletin
*stuffs*
Amazing that the news report fails to mention that a mass murderer is running for office.

Politics dear Watson, politics…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:40PM
seventy2 at 3:40AM, March 17, 2011
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posts: 3,953
joined: 11-15-2007
Everyone should pay attention to the Galactic news. I am important enough in the galaxy to be mentioned, yet none of the other candidates are anywhere near as important. Not even that mass-murdering TFGM.




some of you are more familiar with one of my bigger customers.

She's awesome, and all her power comes from this suit. and another one, but that doesn't matter.

facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:31PM
ayesinback at 5:22AM, March 17, 2011
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posts: 2,012
joined: 8-23-2010
seventy2
I'M RUNNING FOR FRIGGIN MAYOR OF SPACE!

I promise no pants! all to be revealed by my propaganda poster in due time.

A PEW PEW PEWing mayor with no pants? Some how — for some reason

NO

Where's BffSatan? @BffSatan: if you post some nice campaign posters I promise NOT to vote for you this time.
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
BffSatan at 5:44AM, March 17, 2011
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Hey, hey, hey, I'm here. Been at mo' fo'in uni all day.

last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM

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