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Mafia XXXVII: The Madness Never Ends
Hakoshen at 1:06PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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I don't know how strong of a metal cortisis is… I don't know of any use for it for any purpose but making knives or gauntlets to fight Jedi. KOTOR said all the swords in the game featured a “cortisis weave” that let people fence with Jedi but not deactivate their sabers. Beskar on the other hand us one of the strongest metals in the galaxy and they make everything from necklaces to starships out of it. And come to think of it there are also force pikes that have energy blades powerful enough to block a lightsaber but are stun weapons, unless liberally applied of course.
God needed the Devil, the Beatles needed the Rolling Stones, Hakoshen needs me.
I'm the enemy he requires to define him.
Soon or later, he'll bring me back to life again for another epic encounter of shouting about power levels and grimacing.
-Harkovast
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:42PM
Mettaur at 1:34PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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I have no regrets. Except for not getting the chance to throw someone in a mixer machine.
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
ayesinback at 3:05PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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someone
Beskar on the other hand us one of the strongest metals in the galaxy and they make everything from necklaces to starships out of it.
Mett, Hak ( sweet killers that you are):

Before the night's over, I do think you'll wish that someone had given you an early Christmas gift of a Beskar necklace. Or rather, neck cuff.

But the afterlife is not so bad. Right, Oz (Spiller of Many Beans :) )?
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
Salsa at 3:07PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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ayesinback
someone
Beskar on the other hand us one of the strongest metals in the galaxy and they make everything from necklaces to starships out of it.
Mett, Hak:

Before the night's over, I do think you'll wish that someone had given you an early Christmas gift of a Beskar necklace. Or rather, neck cuff.

But the afterlife is not so bad. Right, Oz (Spiller of Many Beans :) )

HE didn't so much spill the beans as stamp on them. I already admitted to being the GF.

Only an hour to go.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Mettaur at 3:19PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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You know, it wasn't certain that you were the GF yet. You still had a chance..
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
jninjashadow at 3:40PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Hakoshen
I don't know how strong of a metal cortisis is… I don't know of any use for it for any purpose but making knives or gauntlets to fight Jedi. KOTOR said all the swords in the game featured a “cortisis weave” that let people fence with Jedi but not deactivate their sabers.
The Yinchorii made gauntlets out of cortisis that shorted out any sabers that struck them. Yet… only 8 jedi STILL defeated their whole army… Anyway, maybe its pure cortisis that does it?
Why that's just crazy enough to walrus!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:09PM
Ochitsukanai at 3:54PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Salsa
Ask Ochi, I just have really bad luck, but fairly good tactics.
It's true. I've worked with Lord Salsa a couple times; his tactics are generally solid, and then we all die. There's pretty much never anything we can do about it. Shame he falls into despair due to it, though.

Everyone played so nicely this time, it made me want to play a game with all of you again someday. Although a lot of you are leaving, it seems? Laaaame >:|

Always, I wanna be with mew, and make believe with mew
and live in harmony harmony oh nyan
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:20PM
Mettaur at 4:07PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Ochitsukanai
Salsa
Ask Ochi, I just have really bad luck, but fairly good tactics.
It's true. I've worked with Lord Salsa a couple times; his tactics are generally solid, and then we all die. There's pretty much never anything we can do about it. Shame he falls into despair due to it, though.

Everyone played so nicely this time, it made me want to play a game with all of you again someday. Although a lot of you are leaving, it seems? Laaaame >:|
I'm still here! Always will be!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Product Placement at 4:22PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Narration!

“What are you doing Naughty bear?”

“You're chocking Fluffy bear with his own intestinal tract?”

“And you're saying that you performed a coathanger abortion on Honey bear against her will?”

“With a pick axe?”

“So you're saying that you're doing this because they didn't invite you to their birthday party?”

“Good job Naughty bear. You did the right thing.”

“I love this show” said Mettaur with a teary eye as he sat cross legged in front of the TV, watching the “The Happy Happy Slash Slash Hour”.
“Quiet.” whispered Hakoshen as he peered through the living room windows, watching the streets. “I think that the town might be on to us.”
“Gooo Naughty!” went Mettaur as he kept rooting the TV screen.
“…There they are.” went Hakoshen as he spotted the approaching lynch mob coming down the street.

Salsa and Roku stepped up to the front door with their ever dwindling team of townsfolk in the back.
“…all I'm saying is that I'm still pretty peeved about you guys trying to execute me last night.” Rokulily kept going.
“God! We said sorry already. Will you let it go?” groaned Salsa.
“But you were all gonna kill me.” muttered roku to herself as the team positioned the battering ram in front of the door and slammed it open.
Standing inside were the twins, holding onto the most devastating weapons they could have grabbed at short notice.
“Oh, you guys are so going to regret walking in here.” comminated Hakoshen as he presented them with a lightsaber at hand and sprung forward to cleave through the crowd. As he swung through the villagers, he expected to see limbs flying and charred smell of cauterize wounds only to find out that nothing had happened. All he had accomplished was getting the townsfolk to look at him funny. As he looked back at the saber, he realized that it had failed to activate as he flicked it on and he preceded to look at its underside.
“What the… Who took the AAA's?”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that.” mettaur remarked. “I borrowed them for my MP3 player”.
As mettaur stepped forward he held up the little music device and turned it on.
“Stand back or I shall be forced to use this!” he said and played Justin Bieber's hit single “Baby”.
“Well… sure. That's really frigging annoying but how exactly is that going to stop us from lynching you?” asked the villagers.
“Are you kidding me?” gasped mettaur perplexed. “This song is vile evil! I thought repeated playing would surely kill anyone.”



As the town left the house, they felt satisfied with the means of how the rid the town of these two abominations. Locking them up in the basement, with Justin Bieber's song on constant loop was such a strain to them that it had actually given Hakoshen an aneurysm, while Mettaur preceded to chew his own head off.
“There's just one thing that's on my mind.” asked Roku just before the group dispersed.
“Oh, god. If this is about us trying to lynch you again…” said Salsa, cutting in.
“…No no. I'm just curious about what on earth could have driven the twins to such dark and disturbing deeds.”
“Hmmh… That's actually a fairly good question…” admitted Salsa.
“Good job, Naughty Bear!” said the TV screen in the twins living room. “Creating a centipede chain out of those bears and forcing them to eat each others excrement is just what they deserved, for making fun of your hat.”
“…I guess we'll never know.”

Mettaur and Hakoshen, the Twins are at a better place. A place that doesn't have Justin Bieber.

Day 5 is over.

Night 5 has begun.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Mettaur at 4:26PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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That. Was. AWESOME! EPIC! And explained the twins going crazy, awesome once more!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Salsa at 4:30PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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And now for the final night, cause I'm sure I'm dead be now.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
Hakoshen at 4:30PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Thanks for using the lightsaber bit. All that talk about star wars I had to ask for it!
God needed the Devil, the Beatles needed the Rolling Stones, Hakoshen needs me.
I'm the enemy he requires to define him.
Soon or later, he'll bring me back to life again for another epic encounter of shouting about power levels and grimacing.
-Harkovast
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:42PM
jninjashadow at 4:38PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Ah, the batteries, the Achilles heel of the saber.
Why that's just crazy enough to walrus!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:09PM
Mettaur at 5:08PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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But, but, it's the essence of evil! From Canada!
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Ochitsukanai at 7:24PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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I solved some other clues correctly, since I watch these games and people talk to me about them sometimes, but I didn't figure out Hakoshen via the narratives at all. It's not even the first time that I just straight-up failed to suspect him for no clear reason. WHAT IS THIS STRANGE HAKOSHEN BARRIER

Always, I wanna be with mew, and make believe with mew
and live in harmony harmony oh nyan
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:20PM
Hakoshen at 10:31PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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I dunno Ochi, a LOT of people were pointing the finger at me. I figured they had me, but no one seemed to figure out Mett until the very end. It's like everyone kept seeing the right clues but couldn't figure out who they were really about because everyone was pointing fingers at everyone else.
God needed the Devil, the Beatles needed the Rolling Stones, Hakoshen needs me.
I'm the enemy he requires to define him.
Soon or later, he'll bring me back to life again for another epic encounter of shouting about power levels and grimacing.
-Harkovast
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:42PM
Anthony Mercer at 11:11PM, Nov. 30, 2010
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Hakoshen
I dunno Ochi, a LOT of people were pointing the finger at me. I figured they had me, but no one seemed to figure out Mett until the very end. It's like everyone kept seeing the right clues but couldn't figure out who they were really about because everyone was pointing fingers at everyone else.
Well, I didn't know you were a twin until you told us all XD
Don't take any of the above seriously. It is in my nature to joke.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:54AM
frankkerr at 11:46AM, Dec. 1, 2010
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Bears are awesome.


Police bears are gay.
Shhhh.

My Blog.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:30PM
ayesinback at 1:46PM, Dec. 1, 2010
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frankkerr
Bears are awesome.

Police bears are gay.
Pantless police bears are awesomely gay



actually, it's that freakishly big head that's worrisome
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
jninjashadow at 2:13PM, Dec. 1, 2010
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You know what's really gay? Homosexuals.
Why that's just crazy enough to walrus!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:09PM
ayesinback at 2:35PM, Dec. 1, 2010
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you might be profiling. Not all Gays are gay.
under new management
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:14AM
Product Placement at 3:09PM, Dec. 1, 2010
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Sorry guys. I'm a little bit burned out today so I won't be narrating tonight. I'm getting an early night sleep tonight so I can be refreshed for tomorrow.

Consider this night officially extended.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Mettaur at 4:45PM, Dec. 1, 2010
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Product Placement
Sorry guys. I'm a little bit burned out today so I won't be narrating tonight. I'm getting an early night sleep tonight so I can be refreshed for tomorrow.

Consider this night officially extended.
Burned out by being tossed in a campfire? Or burned out from having your head smashed into a flaming grill?
Been years since I was here. I've been at rehab since. So uh. Yknow, things got interesting.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Salsa at 6:39PM, Dec. 1, 2010
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Product Placement
Sorry guys. I'm a little bit burned out today so I won't be narrating tonight. I'm getting an early night sleep tonight so I can be refreshed for tomorrow.

Consider this night officially extended.

Go ahead and sleep, dude; you've earned it. We'll wait.
RAGE!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:19PM
frankkerr at 2:58PM, Dec. 2, 2010
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-Prepares popcorn for midnight-
Shhhh.

My Blog.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:30PM
Product Placement at 3:44PM, Dec. 2, 2010
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Just a slight delay. I'm getting something that I wish to include in this narration that's keeping me back. Narration should be up in roughly 30 minutes or so.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
frankkerr at 3:58PM, Dec. 2, 2010
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Finished the popcorn.
Shhhh.

My Blog.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:30PM
Product Placement at 4:59PM, Dec. 2, 2010
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Final Narration!

The threat of the menacing twins were finally over but the town was now faced with a serious dilemma. In the process of hunting down all the criminals and psychopaths around, all the most virtues townsfolk had fallen pray to the sting of murders as well. No one was left really who'd sincerely care if murderers and lawbreakers would roam the streets, as long as they wouldn't interfere with their day to day business. So is it over? Are everyone satisfied with the results?

“So it seems that we are the only active townsfolk that are left.” said Rokulily addressing the diminutive crowd, containing solely of Anthony Mercer and Jninjashadow. Standing beside her was Salsa. She continued:
"…We stand a chance now to rebuild this town in our image; do what we wish should be done. Anthony! You've repeatedly mentioned that brothels should be legalized. Jninja! You always wanted to have the public indecency laws expelled. Well, now we stand a chance to do so, since the ones who would protest and argue are gone. We are now in charge.“
”Sorry love.“ said Salsa as he stabbed Rokulily in the back, then turning to face her and stabbing her in the stomach. ”I prefer being on the top alone.“

Roku could feel the pain rush through her body as her two wounds called out for medical attention.
”You really shouldn't have done that.“ she whispered.
”Oh yes. I'm sure that one day I'll pay for my wicket ways and all that are evil will get their dues eventually but today is not…“ started Salsa mockingly before he was interrupted by the set of sharp claws that ran through him. His initial shock proved even greater when he was picked up by the small framed girl.
”You really… shouldn't have… done that!“ she firmly repeated, looking at him with a rage filled gaze as her burning eyes stared into his soul.
Both Anthony and Jninja watched in horror as Rokulily frantically tore bits and pieces out of the screaming godfather.
”…should… should we do something?“ asked Anthony concerned, while looking at Jninja.
”I think it doesn't matter what we do now.“ Jninja remarked ”Salsa is pretty much the deadest thing around already.“
”But she's still going at him.“ replied Anthony.
”Giving us ample time to escape, which we're currently wasting“ jninja points out while sidestepping further away.
As roku rend through the mutilated torso one more time, she stopped to look at what she had done. ”Oh… my…“ she said before leaning down over Salsa again. ”… that is a nice hat“ she continued, as she picked up the bloodstained headwear that had so famously helped win the election, placing it on her head.

”Did she spot us?“ asked Anthony frantically, as the slammed the door behind him.
”Why yes. Of course I can tell you that, since you peg me as someone who's dumb enough to stop and look behind me as we're running away from a murderous maniac.“ remarked jninja with a sarcastic tone, while locking the door. ”Besides, she's got no beef with us, as far as I know. Why would she follow us?“
Two dangerously looking arms crashed through the door just then and grabbed around jninja.
”Heeeeeree's Roku!“
”Please, no!“ Cried Jninja. ”I'm too young to die …again.“
”I've got your back!“ shouted Anthony as he hit roku's arms with his pimpin' cane. It was just enough to loosen her grip allowing the flasher to escape it with only scratches. Only moments later the mad mayor was through the door ready to lay waste to everything and everyone in her path.
”Attack my minions!“ ordered Anthony as he sent off a horde of highly trained geisha to face her.
”All right…“ frothed roku as she went for her pocket. ”If you want a big finish, I'll give you one.“
She presented the crowd with a tiny looking semi spherical capsule that wasn't bigger then a pill. ”Guess who had the foresight of visiting the coroners office after Hark's death?“
It was the second bomb that was found on his remains.

”Oh dear…“ murmured Anthony before looking at Jninja. ”You've got any good last words?“
”Just these… I'VE RUN OUT OF COCK RELATED PUNS!“ he screamed as he flashed Anthony for good measure.



And thus was the case of the madness that was townston. After days of constant fighting, nobody was left to tell the epic tale. No one was left to pride themselves as the ultimate victor. The town was finally silent.

…for now.


The end.

Salsa the Godfather
Jninjashadow the Flasher
Anthony Mercer the Pimp
&
Rokulily the Raging Berserker with Wolverine claws are all dead.

Nobody survived.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
jninjashadow at 5:02PM, Dec. 2, 2010
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truly I have flashed the face of death… twice
Why that's just crazy enough to walrus!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:09PM
TheFlyingGreenMonkey at 6:17PM, Dec. 2, 2010
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Product Placement
Nobody survived.
Been there, caused that.

last edited on July 14, 2011 4:19PM

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