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Percy Jackson and the Olympions: The Lightning Thief (movie)
I Am The 1337 Master at 7:28AM, Feb. 14, 2010
posts: 3,785
joined: 1-16-2009
This movie sucked. Hands down, it was TERRIBLE! The only character that was entertaining all the time was Hades who appeared for a SCENE!!! I loved this book but the movie can go screw it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:53PM
EssayBee at 7:04PM, Feb. 15, 2010
posts: 156
joined: 11-10-2009
I'll probably wait for Blu-ray for this. Just the fact that Chris Columbus directed it is a major turn-off for me. The first two Harry Potter movies were the worst of the bunch (very vanilla direction and poor pacing–they felt like a shopping list of “to-dos” from the books instead of a natural flowing narrative in their own right), and many of his other movies start out all right, then quickly turn to sentimental schlock. (Yeah, I'm looking at you “Mrs. Doubtfire” and “9 Months.” )

Just curious, since I've never read (and will probably never read) the Percy Jackson books: Did the movie suffer from the same faults I described above for the first 2 Potter movies?
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:22PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 7:59AM, Feb. 16, 2010
posts: 3,785
joined: 1-16-2009
It didn't follow the book AT ALL. Here's reasons why it sucked, made between me and my friend and with more reasons to come…possibly.

1. Clarice wasn't there.
2. Ares wasn't there.
3. Persephone WAS there but not in the book.
4. Cerberus wasn't there.
5. Luke's ‘killed’
6. The gods weren't in the book EXCEPT Ares, Posiden and Zeus.
7. They mentioned nothing about the Thalia Tree.
8. Kronos… nuff said.
9. The Hydra wasn't in the book.
10. Gabe didn't turn into a lawn ornament.
11. No sequel.
12. Acting sucked
13. Only one realy cool character:Hades as a human being and he was only there for A scene
14. Sometimes the special effects sucked, BIG TIME (minotaur holding mom, using flying shoes)
15. Gods were always decked out in greek-style clothes. If you remember, none of them were, they all wore current clothes.
16. No Oracle=no end to story even if there was a sequel.
17. Furies only came once. And only one of them came.
18. No mattress scene.
19. No “sending Grover on a quest”.
20. Grover had to “grow his horns”. LAME.
21. No Fates.
22. No Helm of Darkness.
23. Annabeth's invisibility cap? And her history? And the story of her, Thalia, and Luke's adventure to the camp?
24. Ruined end of book.
26. Percy was automatically given his cabin and didn't go to Hermes.
27. They didn't mention Riptide's name.
29. Percy wasn't maimed by Clarice.
30. There were more people in Hermes cabin.
31. Capture the Flag happened at night in the book.
32. Annabeth doesn't reveal her feelings for Percy until Book…… 2?
33. There were no video games in Hermes Cabin.
34. Grover never wore the shoes.
35. Grover didn't where crutches in the book.
36. They didn't show Tartarus.
37. No credit card at the lotus hotel.
38. Grover's flute?!!!
39. They skipped over Dionysus.
40. Mrs. Dodds was the Math teacher
41. Not how Auntie Em's was supposed to run.
42. Never dove into the water from the top of whatever he was on top of.
43. Never had to find out that he was Poseidon's son.
44. Made the pearls a main part of it.
45. Left his mom in the underworld, not Grover.
46. Had to describe information that people should know if they read the freaking book.
47. Never retrieved Aphrodite and Ares' stuff from the tunnel of love death trap.
48. They never mentioned steel or Celestial Bronze.
49. It wasn't the Flowers that kept them in the Lotus Casino, the building itself was magic.
50. They meet Medusa and she's all nice to them at first, then she becomes all snakey. (in book)
51. Percy uses a green, reflective ball in the Medusa fight in the book, not an iPod. (obviously paid to do so)
52. Annabeth didn't drive a truck through the wall.
53. They didn't steal a Mazeradi.
54. The Lotus Casino was mostly for children in the book.
55. The lightning bolt was in Percy's backpack
56. They had 24-year-olds play 12-year-olds.
57. Never had to train to fight.
58. Never had ANY of the dreams.
59. Never had the story of the “cabin”.
60. His mom didn't work for a candy store.
61. His mom didn't do the “blue food” thing.
62. Grover was supposed to be funnier, fatter, and clumsier.

If anyone else has some and if this post disappears…go ahead…-_-…
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:53PM
Inkmonkey at 12:22PM, March 1, 2010
posts: 2,220
joined: 1-3-2006
Conveniently enough, I also have a numeric list of complaints about the movie!

Recently my brother got a job working a local movie theater, and one of the perks of that job is his ability to get free tickets to any movie after it’s been out for a week for himself and any member of his immediate family (i.e.: me). We’ve taken advantage of this to see movies that we’re actually interested in seeing, but we also occasionally just get bored and go see some movie for the sake of having something to do, which brings us to “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief”. I really had nothing more than a passing interest in PJatOTLT, so I really didn’t have many expectations for it. I didn’t really expect it to be good, but I was at least hoping for it to be comprehensible. The acting wasn’t bad; the kid they got for Percy was a little dopey at times, but whatever. The individual acts in the movie could be quite enjoyable, but they just didn’t add up to a solid whole. I left the film with a LOT of questions, and I’m going to devote today’s article to asking them. This means I’ll be essentially talking about the plot to the movie, and if you haven’t seen it then this article probably won’t make a lot of sense. But then again, it might be funnier for you in that case, so here we go with:

30 Questions I had after seeing Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief :

1. Why was Zeus automatically convinced that Percy had his lightning bolt? We’re given some explanation of the three major Gods (Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades) being just rivals by nature, but Poseidon wasn’t shown to do anything at all that would indicate he would have stolen Zeus’s lightning.

2. Did Percy’s mom really need to be married to an abusive drunk in order to hide Percy? The explanation given is that his “foul odor” would mask Percy from the other mythological creatures in the world, thus ensuring his safety. But if that’s the case, why did he have to be a complete asshole as well? Wouldn’t it have worked just as well if they had stuck his family with a nice guy who just happened to have irritable bowel syndrome? Even that aside, once the Gods are given some excuse to seek out Percy they find him immediately with no trouble, and they then move Percy to a camp for Demigods where he is much safer, rendering his mother’s years of servitude to Percy’s abusive step-father completely pointless.

3. I can understand Percy’s ADHD being turned around into a “superpower” of sorts by saying it’s just his mind being constantly aware of everything around him in a way that makes doing “normal” tasks difficult. Fine, it’s kind of weird, but I’m sure all the kids in the theater who have ADHD probably felt better about themselves afterword. But seriously: his “dyslexia” is just because his mind reads in “Ancient Greek”? What kind of excuse is that!?

4. Percy thought his Mom was dead? Basically, at one point, Percy’s mom is captured by a monster, then disintegrates in front of his eyes. He gets all weepy for a bit, kills a minotaur, flirts with the first cute girl he sees… y’know, normal teenage stuff. He seems a bit discombobulated as he enters the Demigod school (like Hogwarts, only outside and with more swords), but overall seems to be doing pretty well. But at a later point a character tells him that his mother is still alive, and he expresses surprise, implying that he thought she was dead this whole time. Not a lot of people have a five second grieving period when their only loved one dies horribly right in front of them, but I guess that’s just the ADHD.

5. How does Aphrodite have so many daughters that all seem to be the same age? I’m sure there’s some magic or something behind it, but still.

6. Percy can heal his and other peoples’ wounds by touching water. Also, touching water once somehow makes him a better fighter than everyone else at the school who have been training to sword fight for their entire lives. Why? How?

7. Why does Luke come up with such an elaborate ruse to frame Percy? Oh, by the way, Luke is the titular lightning thief, which would be a spoiler except the trailers showed the climax of the film where he fights Percy, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise. Anyway, he sets Percy on a long, dangerous adventure where he could be killed at any turn for reasons that are never satisfactorily justified, when really he could have just told him how to get into the Underworld (where he expected Percy to get killed anyway) and saved a lot of time.

8. Why was Medusa still alive? I understand that’s usually just how these mythology-inspired movies work; maybe it’s another Gorgon, maybe she just didn’t actually die and the original legend was different than what we’ve been told. But she identifies herself as the original Medusa, and the kids keep her head after killing her because they’re aware that her head can still turn people to stone after it’s been cut off from her body. However, they could only know this if her head has already been cut off and continued to function afterward.

9. Percy and the gang had to stop at a hotel because they were falling asleep at the wheel and it was dangerous to keep driving. However, a cleaning lady sees Medusa’s head and they realize they have to leave, so they continue on apparently well-rested and no longer needing to stop for the night. Do they only need 8 seconds of sleep to recover enough to keep driving?

10. Why did Percy use the shoes of Hermes to scale the statue of Athena when there was clearly already a ladder in the room? The ladder didn’t go up the full height of the statue, but when Percy uses the shoes he only gets about half-way up the statue anyway and has to climb the rest of the way.

11. How did the Medusa head deflect the Hydra’s fire? I can understand that it killed the Hydra, but a burst of flame just stops because… it gets turned to stone?

12. What was the point of the Lotus Eaters sequence? Did they just run out of money in the “cool monster effects” budget? Did they just want an excuse to go to Vegas?

13. What was the goal of the Lotus casino anyway? I can understand that they captured Percy under orders of Zeus or Hades or… someone. They never really say. All you know is that mythological creatures are, in general, motivated to capture Percy Jackson. That said, the casino was full of people, and the act of Lotus Eating preserves their age such that one guy there was convinced it was still the 70’s. Why? What is their motivation for trapping all these people? How long can a casino function when all of their visitors stay there permanently? What do they do with all of these people they’ve captured?

14. When they finally get to the Underworld, they find that they must convince Charon to ferry them across the river Styx. Earlier in the film they had conveniently stumbled upon the coins used to pay Charon, and identified them as such, choosing to pocket them (presumably with the intent of paying Charon with them, since their plan was to go to the Underworld anyway). Still, Percy’s black comic relief friend tries unsuccessfully to bribe Charon with modern currency, despite there being no reason for him to bother.

15. The lightning bolt was hidden in the shield that Luke gave Percy earlier in the film. By coincidence, Percy drops it while confronting Hades (who is essentially just The Devil in this movie, as with all lazy mythology stories) and the lightning bolt pops out. Why this specific time? Percy drops that shield a lot throughout the movie. He uses it constantly while fighting the Hydra, where it takes a ridiculous amount of damage. Luke’s goal was for it to be revealed to Hades and for Hades to then kill Percy to steal it. However, much of the movie up to that point was Percy and his friends gathering the Magic Macguffins that would allow them to escape from the Underworld. If Luke already knew the path into the Underworld, why did he send them on this wild goose chase where they could possibly be killed and the bolt returned to Zeus? Why bother helping them to find an actual escape from the Underworld when his whole plan counts on them all dying in the Underworld?

16. Percy and company only went on this quest to rescue Percy’s mother from Hades. They knew from the beginning that they were only going to get 3 plot coupons that let you escape from the Underworld. They knew the entire time that only three people would get out, but seem surprised when they realize at the end that someone has to be left behind. One of the characters is the daughter of Athena, and she basically states that her super powers are “intelligence” and “military strategy” and even she doesn’t, for even a moment, say anything.

17. Once he has the lightning bolt, why doesn’t Percy shoot Luke with it when Luke slowly flies toward them expositing on why he stole it in the first place (because he has daddy issues, basically). We’ve been told the entire movie that the lightning bolt is the most powerful weapon on earth, and earlier in the film Persephone used it against Hades (one of the most powerful Gods), knocking him unconscious and, presumably, giving him amnesia.

18. For that matter, how did Luke even manage to steal the lightning bolt in the first place? That sounds like it would have made for a much more interesting film.

19. When Luke steals the lightning bolt back from Percy, why doesn’t he use it to shoot Percy?

20. When the love interest attacks Luke, why does he stand on the ground and fight her instead of flying away and shooting her with the lightning bolt?

21. Why does Luke flit around like a moron when Percy puts on his own pair of flying shoes (which Luke gave him in the first place, even though Percy didn’t actually need them the one time he used them) instead of shooting Percy with the lightning bolt?

22. When Percy recovers the lightning bolt, why doesn’t he use it to shoot Luke?

23. After Percy drops the lightning bolt again, why doesn’t Luke pick it up and shoot him with it?

24. Why does Luke mock Percy instead of shooting him with the lightning bolt?

25. When Percy starts to gather energy from the nearby water towers, why doesn’t Luke shoot him with the lightning bolt?


27. I am not even kidding; the only character who showed any remote competence in relation to the lightning bolt was Persephone. Zeus just arbitrarily accuses Poseidon and plans to go to war over it, even though he is given absolutely no reason to. Luke steals the lightning bolt for really stupid reasons, and then goes about framing Percy in the most unnecessarily complex manner possible. Percy managed to entirely forget that it was a fucking weapon when Luke confronted them. And it’s not like he’s averse to fucking up Luke’s shit later: he forms a trident out of water and throws it at Luke’s goddamn throat, launching him several thousand feet into the ocean.

28. Who designed the armor for the Gods to wear? It looks like it’s made out of Papier Mache with gold spray paint on it.

29. Why does Zeus, who absolutely refused to admit the possibility that Percy didn’t steal the lightning bolt, instantly believe everything Percy told him when he showed up and gave him the lightning bolt back?

30. Why did I watch this movie?

And that’s the movie in a nutshell. I know it’s a kid’s movie, but still, they could have at least tried to not make the characters seem like complete morons. From my understanding the book actually addresses a lot of these issues, giving Luke a real motivation for wanting to start a war amongst the Gods, and explaining why Zeus automatically distrusts Percy. And that’s even worse, I feel. The answers to these glaring plot holes are there. They were apparently in the book that this was adapted from, but they were left out for some reason. I should clarify that I haven’t actually read the books, so I don’t know if they’re actually better than the movie, but I can say that they wouldn’t have to be that good to be much, much better.

This all was copy and pasted from my InGenre article.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 12:49PM, March 1, 2010
posts: 3,785
joined: 1-16-2009
Funny and so true Inkmonkey. so true…

*shoots imkmonkey with a lightning bolt then b/c of ADHD goes to chase a bird*

I'd answer some of these questions but if you read the book you may get some of the reasons why. The movie didn't follow the book really. And the reasons in the book may be stupid but at least they're reasons.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:54PM
martinlo_23 at 4:03PM, March 1, 2010
posts: 755
joined: 3-4-2008
It really sucked? I was thinking seeing it, but I wanted to see The Wolfman, Alice in Wonderland And…I don't remember. Thanks for the heads-up. Haven't read the book.Thanks dude!
DarkMartio rules.(That's me.) The cake is a lie. I heard u lieks mudkips.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:54PM
Inkmonkey at 9:33PM, March 1, 2010
posts: 2,220
joined: 1-3-2006
I would not recommend Percy Jackson to you, Martinlo. I have seen Wolfman as well, and I thought that was pretty good.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
I Am The 1337 Master at 4:19PM, March 4, 2010
posts: 3,785
joined: 1-16-2009
As a book I would recommend it to you but only if you are a teenager since it is supposed to appeal to a young adult audience…more of a group of middle schoolers.

Wolfman? The remake of that REALLY old movie? I didn't think it was going to be good.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:54PM

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