Comic Talk and General Discussion *

Suppose you, a ruthless and evil dictator, finally conquers everything...?
bravo1102 at 2:54PM, March 15, 2009
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I wrote a novel about this once. Once you give people the chance at 100% democracy via a texting hook-up, proper education and a stake in the country by having them serve it before they get a say… it's a win-win situation. The government is the population and the population is the government.

“After all I created it for all of us didn't I? I worked my fingers to the bone and this is utopia, now tell me friends, how can we citizens make it better?”

Liberty, equality, and fraternity. edit: sorority too. I am an equalitarian.

Vive le Bravo!
I declare the revolution is over. I am France and France is me!
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:33AM
HippieVan at 3:09PM, March 15, 2009
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If I hadn't already, I would probably die of a heart attack after getting so stressed out about so many things depending on me. Or I'd go crazy, hole up in a room somewhere and refuse to rule so everything would just continue the way it was or be taken over by someone else.
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
7384395948urhfdjfrueruieieueue at 7:11PM, March 15, 2009
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Go into hiding and watch the world fall into anarchy.

Kind of like I do here.
i will also like to know you the more
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:08AM
crazyninny at 7:24PM, March 15, 2009
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Go to the next step.

Take over the universe.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:49AM
HippieVan at 7:50PM, March 15, 2009
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crazyninny
Go to the next step.

Take over the universe.

Someone didn't read the original post. :P
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Ozoneocean at 8:03PM, March 15, 2009
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bravo1102
Liberty, equality, and fraternity.
What about “sorority”?

Equal say is impossible. Some will always have more influence. If you're more charasmatic for whatever reason you can influence a large number of people to vote the way you want and maybe eventually make things so that your position in entrenched and you don't have to use that charisma any longer.
———————–
As emperor of everything, part of my plan to make things better will be that people have to wear eleborate uniforms and costumes. …Just because I love that sort of thing. :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
HippieVan at 8:48PM, March 15, 2009
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ozoneocean
As emperor of everything, part of my plan to make things better will be that people have to wear eleborate uniforms and costumes. …Just because I love that sort of thing. :)

Ooh, that would be neat! Would we wear different outfits every day, or would we each have our own unique costume, perhaps one which we would develop as we grew and finally have made on the day we became an adult or something? We could have a class in school for it. And tailors would be the most respected people around.
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Ozoneocean at 9:08PM, March 15, 2009
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Hippie Van
Ooh, that would be neat! Would we wear different outfits every day, or would we each have our own unique costume, perhaps one which we would develop as we grew and finally have made on the day we became an adult or something? We could have a class in school for it. And tailors would be the most respected people around.
You have exactly the right idea there! I say Unique costumes that develop, but also classes of costume depending on job and such… So doctors could have fancy red crosses etc.

The rebels would probably all wear tracksuits with food stains on the front or something…

But if any tailors approach me telling me they can make me the best costume ever, except that I won't be able to see it, they will be locked up for good -_-
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:33PM
Product Placement at 9:12PM, March 15, 2009
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ozoneocean
Hippie Van
Ooh, that would be neat! Would we wear different outfits every day, or would we each have our own unique costume, perhaps one which we would develop as we grew and finally have made on the day we became an adult or something? We could have a class in school for it. And tailors would be the most respected people around.
You have exactly the right idea there! I say Unique costumes that develop, but also classes of costume depending on job and such… So doctors could have fancy red crosses etc.

The rebels would probably all wear tracksuits with food stains on the front or something…

But if any tailors approach me telling me they can make me the best costume ever, except that I won't be able to see it, they will be locked up for good -_-

Let us all pray that our future emperor will not fall for that trick. I'd hate having to attend to that mandatory parade.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
bravo1102 at 5:01AM, March 16, 2009
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ozoneocean
bravo1102
Liberty, equality, and fraternity.
What about “sorority”?

Equal say is impossible. Some will always have more influence. If you're more charasmatic for whatever reason you can influence a large number of people to vote the way you want and maybe eventually make things so that your position in entrenched and you don't have to use that charisma any longer.
———————–
As emperor of everything, part of my plan to make things better will be that people have to wear eleborate uniforms and costumes. …Just because I love that sort of thing. :)

Critical thinking. Make it second nature through proper education. And the whole charimatic thing is easy to control with a ruthlessly effcient secret police. (Fouche, not Beria)

I love the whole uniform thing, Napoleon had it right. Give someone a cool uniform and their morale soars. Though there is something to be said for practicality and economy. I'm thinking something along the lines of the uniforms of Napoleon III's empire and clothing practices of the mid-nineteenth century (though with more comfortable female underwear, but lots of cleavage!) Now that's fashion!

You know I couldn't remember the word “sorority” Thank you.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:33AM
LIZARD_B1TE at 4:24PM, March 16, 2009
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Obviously, I would establish myself as a God. Then I would use the amazing gimmicks that got me there in the first place to make myself a true god. Then I'd just screw with the world.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:38PM
Product Placement at 6:18PM, March 16, 2009
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LIZARD_B1TE
Obviously, I would establish myself as a God. Then I would use the amazing gimmicks that got me there in the first place to make myself a true god. Then I'd just screw with the world.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
bravo1102 at 4:27AM, March 17, 2009
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Product Placement
LIZARD_B1TE
Obviously, I would establish myself as a God. Then I would use the amazing gimmicks that got me there in the first place to make myself a true god. Then I'd just screw with the world.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!

Simple hint: keep small dogs, calico wearing ingenues, talking scarecrows, Tin woodsmen and 'fraidly cats away from you throne room and always make certain you have an obvious person to point at as an enemy; even if she is your own daughter. (read Wicked now! Find the nearest touring show and see it! Now!)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:33AM
dragodraconis at 8:12AM, March 17, 2009
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the universe Mine… mwahahaha the next thing to conquer is the heavens themselves HAHAHAH…. lol well if I had to conquer it will be life itself. whats being an evil man without conquer the means of controling life itself or just relax somewhere at a beach while controlling the universe XD
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:14PM
PIT_FACE at 10:44AM, March 17, 2009
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i think a lot of you guys trying to rationalize how to control people or keep em under control or create utopia are missng the most OBVIOUS ANSWER! MIND CONTROL,DUH!plug chips into everyone or hire a really flamboyant magician or something. SHEESH! what kinda evil overlords are ya?!

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:44PM
lba at 11:02AM, March 17, 2009
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Really? I was just gonna put drugs in the water. I figured a good dose of Rophynol would keep everyone happy.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
PIT_FACE at 11:22AM, March 17, 2009
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EXACTLY! see guys, Iba has it down!

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:44PM
bravo1102 at 11:27AM, March 17, 2009
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PIT_FACE
i think a lot of you guys trying to rationalize how to control people or keep em under control or create utopia are missng the most OBVIOUS ANSWER! MIND CONTROL,DUH!plug chips into everyone or hire a really flamboyant magician or something. SHEESH! what kinda evil overlords are ya?!

How crass of you. To be a truly successful universe leader you have to be subtle. With my mind contr- education system the people love to serve me- er-the state- because they think they have a say.

By the way don't look up because those strings you see is me controlling you.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:33AM
PIT_FACE at 11:55AM, March 17, 2009
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huh. i dont blame ya man. i'd control me too!just check out these bodacious guns! no one, man or woman, king or beast can resist my buldgin bicepts OF FUCKING PAIN!!!!!i see ya, droolin Brovo.

last edited on July 14, 2011 2:44PM
Lonnehart at 1:08PM, March 17, 2009
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I never mentioned what I'd do…

I'd rule with an iron fist for a time (I am supposed to be an EVIL guy, but with a touch of sadism and such). Eventually I'll realize out of boredom that the Universe and all existence has no meaning and I'll go with the next stage in my plan; amass enough power to become a diety and destroy the whole Universe. That would be the one final challenge I would go for after having conquered everything…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:38PM
kyupol at 3:20PM, March 17, 2009
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Nobody posted how to do it. Here's how.

1) Learn how to be charismatic and be a good public speaker. Study things like body language and voice projection. A good person to study is Barack Obama (like him or hate him). That will gain you popular support.

2) Stage terror attacks and economic crises. Then the solution has to be ALWAYS one that involves a reason to get the government an excuse to get into your life. A good reason is to play on the people's fears. Its the terrorists. Its the criminals. Its the diseases. Its the environment. If you give up your freedom in exchange for your safety its the right thing to do.

3) Upon taking power, make sure you kill all who have the slightest possibility of opposing you. As well as the “useful idiots”. But as much as possible, do it in such a way that it makes it look like a suicide or accident. To be less suspicious. Also make use of framing up other people as the ones responsible for the assassinations.

4) Repeat number 2 but intensify it. Terrorize the people so much to the point where they will beg you to just lock them up in little pods and get microchips inserted in them as they get plugged into a “matrix”. Because life is so horrible. Why not live in a world that is so happy and with no problems?

5) Make sure that those who aren't terrorized enough are dumbed down. Fluoridate their water, feed them GMO foods, aspartame, MSGs, and all sorts of chemicals, inject them with lots of vaccines, or any tactic that attacks their food source. Make sure the people are weak, docile, or just plain stupid.

6) Brainwash, brainwash, brainwash. That is the last stand in the war against the people. Give them fake controlled religions and belief systems that are designed to limit their understanding of reality. They have to believe that they are powerless. And at the same time, they have to believe that they are free and that they are lucky to have you as the dear leader.

The ultimate goal is complete enslavement and complete destruction of the concept of the individual. The endgame is a world where all the people are nothing more than mindless robots whose sole purpose is to serve you.

7) To prevent military mutinies, make sure your military is a robotic force. The military force should only be made up of drones and warrior mechs. They should only be controlled by your most hardcore and loyal group of followers. To be in the inner-group of loyal followers, they must have demonstrated their loyalty by killing their own family members or anyone else whom you order them to kill.



Anyway, this is easier said than done. :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM
HippieVan at 9:23PM, March 17, 2009
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kyupol
5) Make sure that those who aren't terrorized enough are dumbed down. Fluoridate their water, feed them GMO foods, aspartame, MSGs, and all sorts of chemicals, inject them with lots of vaccines, or any tactic that attacks their food source. Make sure the people are weak, docile, or just plain stupid.


Yes! Protect people from diseases and tooth decay! That'll get 'em!

Anyways, I say the best way to take over the universe is to be amazingly ridiculously super-smart. From there, the plans should pretty much make themselves.
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
kyupol at 5:23PM, March 18, 2009
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Yes! Protect people from diseases and tooth decay!

Yeah. While controlling their population at the same time.

Classic doublethink.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:26PM
Freegurt at 5:51PM, March 18, 2009
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I'd buy myself some hos and then teach them to make the universes most delicious sandwiches.

Because then I wouldn't have to make them.

GO MAKE ME THE UNIVERSES MOST DELICIOUS SANDWICH, HO!
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:31PM
HippieVan at 5:59PM, March 18, 2009
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kyupol
Yes! Protect people from diseases and tooth decay!

Yeah. While controlling their population at the same time.

Classic doublethink.

You know, I would think that people would be a lot easier to control when they're weak from horrible diseases that could be easily prevented through vaccinations. Or have we developed new drugs that allow us to magically control people's minds?
Duchess of Friday Newsposts and the holy Top Ten
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:49PM
Koshou at 8:31PM, March 18, 2009
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huh… this is a pretty scary thing to think about, actually… I don't think I'd be able to handle ruling the entire world.

But anyway, I'd try not to be a bad ruler. I'd make sure there was one large military whose sole purpose is to protect the people from harm and discrimination. I'd definitely raise the wages of teachers, doctors, and people who take care of young children or the elderly. Free will is very important. Those who help others will be rewarded. I hope that would be enough to keep people from hurting each other.

Oh yeah, and freedom of religion and freedom of the press would stay. I'm not sure if I would keep the right to bear arms, because I believe that it's important with the world the way it is now… but hopefully I would be able to change things so that we wouldn't need guns and weapons.

*sap*

of course, there's tons of ways this could backfire, but hey… I tried…

obviously I'm too much of a pacifist to take over the world, though.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:21PM
waff at 3:16PM, March 19, 2009
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I'd try to overthrow myself.

'there is no “overkill” there is only “open fire” and “time to reload” rule #37
the things on my box are a dead squirell, a medal and a paper bag hat.
ow! I have shards of the fourth wall in my eye!
WAFF-MAN!! as of mafia VI
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:44PM
Nefy at 11:42PM, March 19, 2009
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I would declare state religion of Cthulhu.

And then I'd sit back and watch… As the call lures the followers forward.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:10PM
Lonnehart at 1:16AM, March 20, 2009
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waff
I'd try to overthrow myself.

I think I can see how this can work…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:38PM
JoeL_CQB at 1:22AM, March 20, 2009
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seems like it would suck when you rule everything, maybe slavery.

i'd exile myself, so then I could rape and pillage again. and then i'll have double conquered whatever i conquered in the first place. and double-conquering the universe is waaaaaaaaay cooler than just conquering the universe.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:10PM

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