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Tell me about a movie that you can barely remember.
Product Placement at 12:21PM, July 16, 2010
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This is a simple little game so if anyone thinks it should be moved to the game thread, then I won't object.

I want you to post a review about a movie that you remember seeing as a kid and you can vaguely remember what it was about. Tell me about the Secret of NIMH. The first Gremlins film, ET, American Tale, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I don't care. The only requirement is that it's something that you saw ages ago. The fussier the memory the better. Basically, what I'm looking for is stuff like this:



Also, it goes without saying but it's forbidden to look up actual reviews of the movie that you're writing about. That defeats the purpose of this thread, since I want you to be as unclear as possible.

It's pretty hard for me to think about a movie that's fuzzy for me, since I tend to remember them pretty accurately but I do recall seeing Casablanca as a little kid and I wasn't interested in it enough to pay attention…
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
Product Placement at 12:22PM, July 16, 2010
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joined: 10-18-2007
My review of Casablanca
(seen when I was 3 or something)


So Humphrey Bogart is all black and white and he's smoking allot. He also likes to hang out at this bar where he's always asking the piano player to play the same song over and over again. There's this girl hanging around there that he likes allot which is why he's acting all cool at the bar.
Also there are Nazis there which is bad. The Nazis also want the girl and that's why Bogart is all jealous and smokes a cigarette in a dramatic fashion. There's this police guy that Bogart likes to bribe allot and he asks him to help get the girl he likes out of the country so that the Nazis can't get her.
Just as she's ready to get on that plane, Bogart stops her and tells her “Look dame. You're passing up a fine specimen like myself and you're going to regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday.” Despite these convincing words, she still takes off in the plane.
Now Bogart is all alone with no one around but the policeman that he likes to bribe so he starts hanging around with him, promising him “a beautiful friendship”.

And that's the movie Casablanca everyone. A beautiful tale of Love, Nazis and Bribing policemen. A recommended watch for everyone… who's not 3.

Man I really need to see this movie properly someday.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:53PM
rokulily at 12:49PM, July 16, 2010
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reposting from the mafia forum!

terrible et review!
i watched et when i was 4 and was bad at paying attention. it seemed boring to me and et looked more puppet like then the muppets. hehehe pigs in space…

alright this kinda average-joe kid, ya know the brown hair, all american kinda punk, rides around on his bike a bunch. he's kinda a lil bit of an outsider looking for some attention, anywho in the woods one night he sees some nights and chases after it. thats when he finds et this slow looking alien with the glowy finger that lights up when he decides to say ‘friend’ or do something cool or phones freakin home. so the kid brings the alien home with a bunch of trust building exerises like a trail of skittles and hides him in a pile of stuffed animals because that is the best of hiding places and of course his little sister finds et because we all know that really, stuffed animals are not the best hiding places. pretty soon the feds find out, because really kids are terrible at hiding things right and the whole house becomes like a quartined zone and no one is happy and it looks like they're killing et which is not okay. so they bust out in the ‘riding my bike totally kicks your federal cars butt’ sorta fashion in like a kiddy bike gang- because all the kids like et, he's cool. so of course they get to a cliff and average-joe kid flys over with et's power of friendship and they get to et's ship that came to bring his butt home and they have that ‘we’ll always be bros' moment minus the bro pound. then et flys off and the kid is now cool and the feds leave them all alone because they are down an alien.

or something like that


terrible the forgotten review!
i just saw this recently. i'm just bad at retelling the right way or something.

the movies set in nyc with this lady whose all bummed out cause she thinks her son died in this airplane crash. it's all she can think about- crazy helicopter mom style minus having a kid anymores. so shes trying to recover but shes no good at this and thats when traces of her kid start disappearing and she gets really upset. like you think shes going insane upset- which why shes been seeing a theripist i guess. so everybody is telling her that her son never existed and shes all nuh-uh! and they're all yeah-huh. and shes then all nooooo, i'll show you! and she runs into this drunk guy who shes all ‘i know you!’ so she acts like a crazy lady and then the drunk guy realizes hey she might be on to something, and yeah- i think i might've had a daughter. whoa how'd i forget that? so they start hanging out and running from the cops and feds and whatnot. they are becoming the best of friends. so they realize 'whoa- what if our kids, get this, are alive? we should go get them' so they start running around even more and keep running into this creepy dude who just stares at stuff. thats all he pretty much does- kinda creepy. sooner or later they get some info that tells them that aliens are behind everything- aliens from space who are running experiments on all of humanity oh no! so they're all well we still want our kids back. and thats when it gets super weird where people are just jerked off the planet into the air and disappear which makes them super hard to talk to or for them to help the mom lady. so the drunk get sucked up trying to protect her from what they guess is the alien who is creepy staring dude and then she goes to the airport where the kids had been right before their airplane had ‘crashed’ which is now code for ‘been abducted’ and she runs into creepy staring guy who tells her “you've been the experiment this whole time! ohhhhhh! ahhh!” and its such a twist… i guess… so she ruins his experiment and he gets sucked into the sky by the other aliens and everything returns to normal and she has her son back and drunk guy has his daughter and everybody is happy and the aliens just do whatever. the end
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:09PM
therealtj at 2:18PM, July 16, 2010
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Amazing Flinstones Movie review (saw it when I was like 5)

Okay, so like, everyone in the show is there, Fred, Wilma, Pebbles, Barney and whatever-Barney's-wifes-name-was. Anyway, Fred and Barney go to work, but then their boss get's fed up with Fred and quits. So they get a new boss and instead of firing Fred he decides to be nice and promotes him. Then there's this subplot where Barney and what's-her-face are all depressed that the Flinstones have a baby but they don't so they go to an adoption agency. Their ends up being a mixup though, so they get a monkey baby but the monkey baby's hairless and looks like a human so they don't care.

Anyway, the plot jumps back to Fred at work where he's given a hot secretary who tries to kiss Fred. Fred's upset with it, but goes along or something. Meanwhile, Wilma and what's-her-face take their babies to a park where Bam-Bam (the monkey child) is making a ruckus. But then Pebbles get's kidnapped by a flying dinosaur. Bam-Bam goes running off to save them, while Wilma goes to get Fred.

Fred changes his mind about his secretary and tells her to stop making out with him, but she's still all up ons when Wilma walks in. She tells him he can't live at their house anymore so I guess he moves in with the secretary or something. Also, Fred was acting like a total douche to Barney since his promotion so Barney said they weren't friends anymore.

But then, Fred figures out that the new boss is evil and so the secretary helps him kill the boss using on of the construction dinosaurs, he goes to explain to Wilma that it was all a misunderstanding, Barney forgives him and I guess Bam-Bam saved pebbles and rode on the dinosaur that kidnapped her. Fred gets his old job back, as well as the old boss, and everything is back to normal.

Next up: Scoobie-Doo! (the movie.)

“The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.”
-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At the End of the Universe
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
Anthony Mercer at 2:31PM, July 16, 2010
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What I remember of “AI: Artificial Intelligence”
There was a little boy who lived in a big fancy house with his really rich father and a bully for an older brother. He was having dreams that turned out to be the logo of the company his father owned, and he found out he was a robot created as a toy by that company. Because he could live for so long (as a robot), he outlived his family, and went to live in a place especially for robots. There he found out about a Blue Fairy that could turn robots into people. He went there with another robot, and I think the other robot had to sacrifice himself for some reason at some point. The fairy never came and the boy waited there forever and froze. The end.
Note: I may have missed quite a bit. XD
Don't take any of the above seriously. It is in my nature to joke.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:54AM
Ochitsukanai at 3:32PM, July 16, 2010
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Citizen Kane:

A kid's living in a crummy shack in the snow, but he has a sled and a family, and then he's taken away for some reason and loses the sled. He's taken away to be rich, I think, but I can't recall why that is. He ends up being the owner of a newspaper press and marries a beautiful woman. I think there's a scene where she's eating half a grapefruit?

At any rate, you don't get to know her that well, so it's not upsetting when they divorce. He also builds a big complex to live in, called Xanadu. The movie sensationally describes it for what seems an inordinately long time in bizarre detail. He's making a huge plane or a blimp or something in a hangar at one point, he's pretty excitable about it while talking to some other guy and I think this is meant to make him look like a nut.

Meanwhile, someone's researching his life to write a biography, but it seems like no one has anything positive to say and no one knows what he meant when he said “Rosebud.” Now I remember that the movie's more a retrospective of Kane's life and Rosebud was his last word before he dropped a snowglobe and died. The viewer is following a reporter who's trying to figure it all out by talking to people. The viewer gets to see that Rosebud was the sled he lost when he was little, but the reporter never does find out and ends up making some vague conclusion about the whole thing that's meant to illustrate the theme, which I recall being irritated about since anyone who'd sit through the whole thing can probably discern the damn theme on their own.

Always, I wanna be with mew, and make believe with mew
and live in harmony harmony oh nyan
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:20PM
Air Raid Robertson at 8:27PM, July 16, 2010
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Some kid's movie about dinosaurs that I occasionally watched when I was six. I can't even remember the damn title.

Okay, this preteen girl is stuck babysitting a pack of kids. I think there are three of them, but the only one that sticks out is a rambunctious young boy. he insists that they all watch this cartoon movie about anthropomorphic dinosaurs that he's forced them to watch a million times already. The babysitter and her other two charges object, but his needling insistence eventually gets him his way.

However, something goes wrong this time. There was a radioactive leak in the video cassette or maybe an alien zygor beam or something. Either way, everyone ends up getting sucked inside of the movie.

So this posse of kids and a babysitter are stuck inside an anthropomorphic dinosaur world where a bunch of good guy dinos are rebelling against this evil T-Rex dictator or whatever. This part of the movie isn't animated or anything. Rather, the film crew made these Jim Henson-esque fantasy dinosaur suits for stuntmen to wear. They looked pretty badass to an impressionable six year old like me, but I am all but certain that they'd look pretty terrible if I saw them today.

Anyways, the kids and the heroic motley crew of dinosaur heroes embark on an arduous yet comedic quest to topple the evil T-Rex dictator. The one scene that stands out to be is a bar fight sequence that was a shameless lift of the cantina showdown in Star Wars. The bratty young boy remarked that this was his favorite scene in the movie when he wasn't actually in the movie. But, well, now that he could actually smell the cantina…

Eventually the team confronts this evil dictator guy. After a daunting action sequence they ultimately defeat him. I think one of the heroic dinosaurs gets killed in the struggle, but I may be remembering it worng. This whole bit put my younger self on the edge of his seat, but once again I am sure that a current viewing would leave me much less impressed.

After the dictator guy is taken out the humans get to leave the movie world. I believe there's some kind of foreboding “The End?” bit in the last shot of the movie. However, I could be just remembering it incorrectly.
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:48AM
Nergal at 10:59AM, July 17, 2010
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Succinct Great Panda Adventure Movie Review

A boy and a panda go on an adventure. The panda is played by a stuffed animal for the majority of the film. The boy and the panda try crossing a broken down bridge but it collapses beneath their weight. As they hang on for dear life, most of us fell asleep so we ended up leaving the theater. We snuck into it in the first place after seeing Mortal Kombat.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:12PM
korosu at 12:01PM, July 17, 2010
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Fly Away Home

That chick who plays Rogue in the X-Men movies and her mom are driving along in Mom's car, la-dee-da. And as I recall, the movie seemed to forget that it's supposed to take place in the U.S., because the steering wheel's on the wrong side, and I just remember thinking as a kid, “What's up with that?” BUT THEN, they get in a wreck and Mom dies, so Rogue has to live with her estranged (divorced?) father, Lone Starr, who lives on a farm in the middle of Nowheresville, Canada, or whatever. Through whatever circumstances, she comes across a nest of goose eggs. The eggs hatch, and imprint on Rogue because the mother goose, I guess, died. Rogue and the goslings run around the farm, having happy-fun times. Oh yeah, and Lone Starr is, I guess, a pilot or something, and even has his own plane that Rogue is taught to fly. (Who, by the way, is around thirteen years old. What a responsible parent.)

BUT THEN, the film's version of a villain takes it upon himself to, for whatever reason, try to clip all the geese's wings, but through a series of “No!”s and “Don't!”s, only one of the geese gets his wing clipped. Rogue's all sad and stuff, because now the goose can't fly.

I don't remember how the film gets from this part to the climax, but basically once the geese are all grown up, they have to figure out this whole flying south for the winter business. Enter the film's plot device: the plane. Rogue flies the plane, leading the pack the skies. And wouldn't you know it, the goose we thought to be crippled manages to defy the odds and fly also. The end.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:21PM

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