General Discussion

Tell us your favourite riddle/joke
cartoonprofessor at 4:13AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Here's mine…
see if you can work it out/know it…

What's old, grey and wrinkly, and hangs out Grandpa's pants?

(If no-one gets it I'll give you the answer next time I log on)
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:36AM
vgman at 4:19AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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uh Grandpa?

Hear is an old one.

What has 4 legs in the morning 2 legs at noon and 3 legs at night.

I love the riddle of the sphinx :)
RIP TD :cry2:
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:41PM
Poke Alster at 4:32AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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how do you get a pikachu on a bus?

you pok-em-on
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:46PM
Pixie at 4:35AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Not sure about the first one, but the riddle of the sphinx is an easy one! The answer is “Man” - in the morning of his life, he crawls on all fours… in the afternoon he walks upright on two legs, and in the evening of his life, he walks with a stick!

So here's mine (or, more correctly, Neil Gaiman's…)

I turn my head, you may go where you want
I turn it again, you stay 'till you rot
I have no face, but I live or die
By my crooked teeth - who am I?
Alaka-bwee-oop! Old school.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:45PM
mechanical_lullaby at 4:45AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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I want to say it's a gear, but I know it's not.


All the jokes I know are dirty.


I wrote this one riddle about a guitar for one of my english classes. It came out sounding like a mutilated body and it freaked out the class a little.

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:57PM
LIZARD_B1TE at 5:36AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Pixie
I turn my head, you may go where you want
I turn it again, you stay 'till you rot
I have no face, but I live or die
By my crooked teeth - who am I?

Damn it! I can't stop thinking about this one!

Uh… is it a key?


OK, here's one:

A man is allowed to see Heaven and Hell. In Hell, he sees a group of people around a table set with food, each person has a pair of chopsticks 5 meters long. Because of this, the people in Hell cannot get the food to their mouths and are starving. In Heaven, the man sees the same thing, but the people there are happy and well-fed. What are the people in Heaven doing that the people in Hell are not?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:37PM
usedbooks at 6:20AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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LIZARD_B1TE
A man is allowed to see Heaven and Hell. In Hell, he sees a group of people around a table set with food, each person has a pair of chopsticks 5 meters long. Because of this, the people in Hell cannot get the food to their mouths and are starving. In Heaven, the man sees the same thing, but the people there are happy and well-fed. What are the people in Heaven doing that the people in Hell are not?
They're feeding each other. ;)

I don't have any good riddles, but here's a simple joke that makes me smile.

What do you get when you cross a stream and a pond?
Wet socks.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:37PM
LIZARD_B1TE at 6:20AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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usedbooks
They're feeding each other. ;)

…Yeah.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:37PM
shaneronzio at 7:10AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Forward I am heavy, backwards I am NOT. What am I?
Current Project:CROSS WORLDS NEXUS
Updates Monday, Wenzday & FRIDAY
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:32PM
Poke Alster at 7:28AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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a landrover :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:46PM
Pixie at 7:33AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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LIZARD_B1TE
Pixie
I turn my head, you may go where you want
I turn it again, you stay 'till you rot
I have no face, but I live or die
By my crooked teeth - who am I?

Damn it! I can't stop thinking about this one!

Uh… is it a key?

Yep, a key! :)

Here's another:
The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?

Alaka-bwee-oop! Old school.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:45PM
Poke Alster at 7:34AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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a computer :) im too good
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:46PM
Pixie at 8:27AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Funny! But wrong. XD
Alaka-bwee-oop! Old school.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:45PM
Custard Trout at 8:34AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Pixie
Funny! But wrong. XD

A coffin.

Me knows some too:

There's an oven, a lantern and a candle. You have one match. Which do you light first?

How much dirt would be in a hole that is 3x3x3?
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:59AM
AQua_ng at 8:55AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Do you really need dirt for a hole?

You light the candle first, methinks.


Here's one that was impossible for me to do when I was eleven. It was one of those ‘pun riddles’ better done verbally.

Nevertheless:


You are stuck in a room, there are no doors, no windows, no holes. Walls are uber-re-enforced. All there is in the room is you and a table. How do you get out?

You bang your head onto the table until it gets sore. You then use the saw to cut the table in half. You take the two halves and make it whole. Finally, you get out through the hole. Yeah, WTF moment right there.

K.A.L.A-dan! Brigade Captain :D
K.A.L.A.-dan forums!
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:57AM
usedbooks at 9:03AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Custard Trout
There's an oven, a lantern and a candle. You have one match. Which do you light first?
The match
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:37PM
Rutger at 9:17AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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I knew the match one too.

Here's one:

I am what I am, but if you know what I am, I am no longer what I am. What am I?

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:14PM
Custard Trout at 9:56AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Rutger
I knew the match one too.

Here's one:

I am what I am, but if you know what I am, I am no longer what I am. What am I?

A mystery?
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:59AM
Tantz Aerine at 10:05AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Custard Trout
Pixie
Funny! But wrong. XD

A coffin.

Me knows some too:

There's an oven, a lantern and a candle. You have one match. Which do you light first?

How much dirt would be in a hole that is 3x3x3?

(not sure if anyone answered these, I have not looked further down the thread yet)

I'd light the candle, then use it to light everything else. (I assume the oven is gas)

No dirt- it's a hole.

…right?

edit Argh! The match one got me XD
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:07PM
Rutger at 10:10AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Custard Trout
Rutger
I knew the match one too.

Here's one:

I am what I am, but if you know what I am, I am no longer what I am. What am I?

A mystery?

I was aiming for riddle, but mystery works.

Another one:

What do you call a fly without wings.

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:14PM
kingofsnake at 10:13AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Why is a raven like a writing desk?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:16PM
AQua_ng at 10:26AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Poe wrote on both.

K.A.L.A-dan! Brigade Captain :D
K.A.L.A.-dan forums!
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:57AM
usedbooks at 10:31AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Rutger
I was aiming for riddle, but mystery works.
I was going to say “a secret”

Rutger
What do you call a fly without wings.
Drosophila melanogaster mutant?

AQua_ng
Poe wrote on both.
I never did know that one! Thanks! :)

I just thought of another joke thingy. (Yeah, maybe I can get you a good riddle later…)
“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:37PM
ozoneocean at 10:37AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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..,naughty ones are my faves… I think these are cryptic enough to be ok here… tell me if they're not.

Two Nuns in a bath.
One says “Where's the soap?”
The other replies “It does.”

Two nuns on a tandem going down a cobbled street.
One says to the other “I've never come this way before!”

…Old jokes…
riddles are for Hobbits ^^
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:28PM
Rutger at 10:46AM, Nov. 12, 2007
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usedbooks
Rutger
I was aiming for riddle, but mystery works.
I was going to say “a secret”

Also works.

Rutger
What do you call a fly without wings.
Drosophila melanogaster mutant?


The answer was ‘a walk’. The follow-up: what do you call a walk with wings?

Ozone…I didnt get yours…

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:14PM
Fenn at 12:06PM, Nov. 12, 2007
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shaneronzio
Forward I am heavy, backwards I am not. What am I?
A ton.

My favorite joke:

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?



It was dead.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM
Rutger at 12:16PM, Nov. 12, 2007
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The monkey joke is awesome. Also, how d'you do that spoiler bit? With the mouserolling and all?

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:14PM
Fenn at 12:18PM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Press the “Quote” thing in the upper right corner of that post and you can see the coding in action.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:26PM
Poke Alster at 12:21PM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Hey guess what?



I know how to do this now.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:46PM
Rutger at 12:43PM, Nov. 12, 2007
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Fenn
Press the “Quote” thing in the upper right corner of that post and you can see the coding in action.

hurrdurr…Why didn't I think of that.

K.A.L.A.-dan! rutGAR desu!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:14PM

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