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The reason some girls stay single-super douche
Skullbie at 4:34PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

This guy is the classic douche, the 2nd part just gets better give it a listen or download.
Someone
The story is this: a girl was out with friends having drinks on King St (in Toronto ). This guy approaches her and won't leave her alone -saying how cute she is. She finally gives in and hands the guy her business card to get rid of him.
The attached is an MP3 file of not one, but TWO voicemails this guy left. This goes down in the history books - especially the second voice mail.
After hearing them you can clearly see why she didn't call him back - instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show & had them play this on the air.
Ladies: He is out there… :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:47PM
Skullbie at 4:50PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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This is is even worse when you know that a)
His real name is James Sears, and was a doctor in toronto before losing his license for two counts of sexual assault. (plead guilty)

And b)
He teaches a seminar for men to learn how to seduce women, not even kidding, check out the lulzy last bits:
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:47PM
Custard Trout at 4:52PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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I like how he can't seem to comprehend the idea that a woman wouldn't call him for reasons other than mental retardation or some kind of horrific accident.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:02PM
Freegurt at 5:41PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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Seeing (or in this case, hearing) people like him crash and burn so gloriously does nothing but make me laugh uncontrollably.

Funny that the seminar only teaches how to seduce the ‘desperate slut’. Do the desperate ones even want him? He bleeds insecurity.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:31PM
Product Placement at 5:50PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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While listening to the second message, I had to walk around the room, banging my head against the wall on several occasions.

This was not an easy thing to listen to.
Skullbie
This is is even worse when you know that a)
His real name is James Sears, and was a doctor in toronto before losing his license for two counts of sexual assault. (plead guilty)

And b)
He teaches a seminar for men to learn how to seduce women, not even kidding, check out the lulzy last bits:
On that note, how did people find out all of this, since all they to go by was the name Dimitry?
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:51PM
Skullbie at 6:06PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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The internet, there's nearly 1000 comments on that convo, someone is bound to know something based on:
The area he is near(toronto, king st), parts of his phone #, the fact that he teaches a bogus seminar for ‘seduction’ and nails the ads to streetlights, a website for seminar that has an IP address attached to it, a street address from the IP info that list ‘James Sears’, a criminal record for James Sears.

Here's a pic of him;

And more lulsy jokes and info;
http://www.afterellen.com/node/58854
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:47PM
Product Placement at 8:38PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:51PM
ozoneocean at 8:40PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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Skullbie
You better fly to Toronto and go to his seminar Skull, he'll make you an honorary male! :)

And how do they tell a homosexual person from the way they dress? I think they could probably charge this dick with inciting hate crimes. …if they have those laws in Canada.

————–
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a “douche” some kind of system or the solution within that system primarily for flushing vaginas?
I doubt that cockmonkey gets near very many vaginas…
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
Skullbie at 8:56PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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ozoneocean
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a “douche” some kind of system or the solution within that system primarily for flushing vaginas?
That and it's a slang here for jerks or assholes, or someone that acts in an embarrassing/cocky manner. As UD puts it better:
'An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. '

@Product
Lol x]
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:47PM
Custard Trout at 9:49PM, Sept. 13, 2009
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ozoneocean
And how do they tell a homosexual person from the way they dress?

I bet I could get in. The gayest piece of clothing I own is a shirt with slightly less irremovable stains than the other two.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:02PM
lastcall at 3:36AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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Is that guy for real? Is that MP3 for real? Is that poster for real? Good god, it's too funny and idiotic to be true…gave me a good laugh on a crappy Monday morning. Thanks!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:28PM
BffSatan at 3:43AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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Ah, yes, I've heard this message before, but not the story behind it.

poster
Legitimate seduction lair
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ozoneocean at 3:50AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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I just listened to the MP3.

Interesting. Sounds really, really desperate. I doubt he gets approached “6 or 7 times a day” or at all.
WTF was up with the second call? If she didn't call after the first one, why would ANYONE call after that? he basically threatened her. I'd be calling the police.

One thing that struck me on listening to the first call is that he's reading off a spiel… It sounds like a speech crafted to try and interest immature, inexperienced, shy, socially awkward young women. It sounds like he worked it out and possibly wrote the whole thing down, going through a few drafts beforehand, probably got some inspiration form a “how to date women” book and one of those creepy motivational speaker people.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
BffSatan at 4:05AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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ozoneocean
It sounds like a speech crafted to try and interest immature, inexperienced, shy, socially awkward young women. It sounds like he worked it out and possibly wrote the whole thing down, going through a few drafts beforehand, probably got some inspiration form a “how to date women” book and one of those creepy motivational speaker people.
And yet for some reason I still think he's a virgin. Maybe he needs a different approach.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
lastcall at 4:07AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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ozoneocean
WTF was up with the second call? If she didn't call after the first one, why would ANYONE call after that? he basically threatened her. I'd be calling the police.

Yeah in the second call, he was basically giving her ultimatums and insulting her the whole time. That's a real catch there. Gee, I wonder why he's single. Yeesh.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:28PM
BffSatan at 4:09AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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lastcall
Yeah in the second call, he was basically giving her ultimatums and insulting her the whole time. That's a real catch there. Gee, I wonder why he's single. Yeesh.

Not to self:
Women do not like arrogant men who insult them.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ozoneocean at 4:42AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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BffSatan
Not to self:
Women do not like arrogant men who insult them.
But Horny Sluts might! Let's go looking for those and tell them how they were abused as children if they reject us. That'll turn 'em around. Crafty ;)

LOVE the website:
http://dimitrithelover.com NSFW

I can't copy and paste the front page intro because the dick uses Flash, but the Meta description is pretty bad:

This website features the powerful seduction programs of Canada's greatest lover and seducer, DIMITRI THE LOVER. SEDUCE WOMEN, DATING WOMEN, DATE WOMEN, PICKUP ARTIST, PUA, MYSTERY METHOD, PICK UP ARTIST, VH1, VENUSIAN ARTS, MEHOW, PICKUP 101, STYLE, NLP, EROTIC HYPNOSIS, DOUBLE YOUR DATING, DAVID D'ANGELO, SPEED SEDUCTION, ROSS JEFFRIES, REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS, THE GAME, FAST SEDUCTION, SEDUCE WOMEN, DATING WOMEN, TORONTO LAIR, ART OF APPROACHING, JUGGLER METHOD, OCTOBER MAN, PLENTY OF FISH, LAVALIFE, TORONTO DATING, MERCEDES TORONTO, BMW TORONTO, CLIFF’S LIST

And the keywords are hillarious!

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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
BffSatan at 4:50AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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ozoneocean
THE GAME
I lost the game…

I hate this guy 80% more now.

Good God!
This site is absolutely dreadful, it's got literally everything that can be done wrong about a website done on it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ozoneocean at 5:02AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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Heh!

I love this the most:
Listen up women! This is what you must do in order to please your men!!!

Men always treat their dogs better than their women. Want to be your man’s best friend? Want to receive treats? Want to be caressed passionately? Want to be cuddled? Want your man to feel bad leaving you at home alone? Want to be taken out for daily romantic walks? Then give him dog-like submission!

Now, before you pee on the carpet, let me explain what I mean:

1.Never snap, bark, or wimper.

2.If he instructs you to wait, sit quietly and patiently while he completes his task. When he arrives back, show intense excitement with your smile and eyes. Display “tail wagging-like” behaviour by shaking your pelvis slightly.

3.When fed, clear everything off your plate and do not complain

4.When he does ANYTHING, even take out the garbage, thank him profusely by complimenting him and smothering him with kisses (in lieu of wet licks)

5.When he comes home, get really excited. Wrap your arms around him, tell him how much you love him, and jump up and down ever so slightly by going up and down on the balls of your feet.

6.Show submission when he is sitting and watching TV by lying on the couch with your head in his lap. Occasionally “hump his leg” by rubbing your cunt or tits up against him and letting out a little growl.

7.When he is eating food you have prepared, stare at him with admiration and submission. Ask him if he likes what you prepared. Tell him you love watching him eat and that him doing so makes you feel like a real woman.

8.Show intense excitement and “tail wagging” by jumping up and down with glee when he suggests taking you out. Ask him if the outfit (“leash”) you have just put on is acceptable to him.

9.When walking, hold him tightly, walk proudly, and show affection. If he pats other dogs or points them out, do not display jealousy by growling at him. Join in on the fun by sniffing their butts too!

Remember: men are way more likely to be devastated if their loyal, faithful dog runs away than if their woman does. When was the last time your man asked you “what’s wrong girl?”.



HAHAHAHAH! The best yet! Look at the rules for entering his last year's Slut contest. (supposedly a reality TV show)

CONTEST RULES:

1.Open only to females (defined as “those humans neither born with nor having ever possessed a cock at any point in their lives”), 18 years of age and older

2.All contestants must worship and submit to the power of a man’s cock

3.All contestants must be accepting of their natural female bisexuality

4.Slut finalists must provide satisfactory health report from their physician

5.Dimitri gets “unhindered tri-orifice access” during the entire slut competition

6.Contestants must accept Dimitri’s sacrament into every orifice

7.Contestants must accept Dimitri’s sacrament directly from each other’s vaginal chalice once they have been filled with it

8.Contest closes December 31, 2007
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
BffSatan at 5:14AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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It gets worse, look at his extremely NSFW animations or check out his “church of Dimitri” page. I really can't tell if it's even serious but he seems to claim that he fathered Jesus.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ozoneocean at 5:32AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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I realise now that I'm nothing but a worthless loser and not a Real Man at all. I need Dimitri to show me the way. I will fly to Toronto ASAP and begin my tutelage with the cockmaster himself.

Wish me luck! ^^
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
BffSatan at 6:02AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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ozoneocean
I realise now that I'm nothing but a worthless loser and not a Real Man at all. I need Dimitri to show me the way. I will fly to Toronto ASAP and begin my tutelage with the cockmaster himself.

Wish me luck! ^^
Bring me back a vial of his blood so I study it for science. It would be for the future benefit of mankind and 'slutkind' after Dimitri's death.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
ozoneocean at 6:46AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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BffSatan
Bring me back a vial of his blood so I study it for science. It would be for the future benefit of mankind and 'slutkind' after Dimitri's death.
Seamen would be more appropriate in this instance…
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
lba at 7:17AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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This is the kind of guy who I would pull the stunt from that old smirnoff commercial where the guy says hi to the chick, and when the greaseball blind date for her walks in, the dude says that he's her to freak the greaseball out and make him take off.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
ozoneocean at 7:26AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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lba
This is the kind of guy who I would pull the stunt from that old smirnoff commercial where the guy says hi to the chick, and when the greaseball blind date for her walks in, the dude says that he's her to freak the greaseball out and make him take off.
With that guy it might be dangerous… I suspect hidden depths beneath his forceful show…

I fear your tactic could result in the Real Dimitri bursting forth emitting ululations of joy and ending with anal rapage :(
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
BffSatan at 7:27AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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ozoneocean
BffSatan
Bring me back a vial of his blood so I study it for science. It would be for the future benefit of mankind and 'slutkind' after Dimitri's death.
Seamen would be more appropriate in this instance…
I'm not touching that shit, even under lab conditions for scientific research.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:21AM
lba at 7:39AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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ozoneocean
lba
This is the kind of guy who I would pull the stunt from that old smirnoff commercial where the guy says hi to the chick, and when the greaseball blind date for her walks in, the dude says that he's her to freak the greaseball out and make him take off.
With that guy it might be dangerous… I suspect hidden depths beneath his forceful show…

I fear your tactic could result in the Real Dimitri bursting forth emitting ululations of joy and ending with anal rapage :(

True. Which is why you ask the lady to be ready with the pepper spray. And maybe ask the barkeep to borrow their baseball bat.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
ozoneocean at 7:57AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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BffSatan
I'm not touching that shit, even under lab conditions for scientific research.
You disrespect Dimitri's Holy Sacrament? :gem:
lba
And maybe ask the barkeep to borrow their baseball bat.
No maybes about it.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:35PM
Dark Pascual at 9:38AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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last edited on July 14, 2011 12:07PM
Product Placement at 10:00AM, Sept. 14, 2009
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Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:51PM

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