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Those poor little furballs.
Product Placement at 3:58PM, April 2, 2009
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Here's a link to a website containing a lengthy article about why the destruction of the the second Death Star should have caused a mass extinction on Endor. For those not following, I'm talking about the events at the end of Star Wars - Episode 6 - Return of the Jedi.

Now I must ask. Why?

Why put that much work into pondering about the aftereffects of a film? It looks like a Ph.D. thesis for crying out loud.
Those were my two cents.
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last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
Chernobog at 4:56PM, April 2, 2009
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Fandom can be a scary and obsessive thing.

I once knew a guy in high school who swore Yoda was god.
So I took a petition around, seeing if anyone agreed even remotely, got a healthy 30+ ‘no way’ signatures and gave it to him.

I suppose he succumbed to the dark side of the force for a moment there as he promptly stood on my feet and slugged me in the gut.
 
 
“You tell yourself to just
enjoy the process,” he added. “That whether you succeed or fail, win or
lose, it will be fine. You pretend to be Zen. You adopt detachment, and
ironic humor, while secretly praying for a miracle.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:41AM
legueu at 5:50PM, April 2, 2009
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This seem pretty dangerous in that case :P

People sometimes base their life on weird things. (like ideology, or a movie)
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:34PM
Custard Trout at 5:56PM, April 2, 2009
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Endor was the one with the Ewoks right? Wouldn't wiping those things out be a good thing?
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:02PM
Product Placement at 7:08PM, April 2, 2009
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Custard Trout
Endor was the one with the Ewoks right? Wouldn't wiping those things out be a good thing?
It would save us from more movies like these.

Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
humorman at 7:12PM, April 2, 2009
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The science and philosophy behind Star Wars is pretty much as far away from accurate as you can get.

First off, the death star is a very poorly designed space craft. Aside from it's TIE fighters, it only has one offensive weapon: it's death beam. The good thing about this weapon is that it's capable of destroying planets in a single blast, and that's about it. Because the weapon is fixed to the ship, incapable of even aiming it without moving the entire spacecraft, leaving the entire southern hemisphere expose.

Also, it seems that all the death beam seems to do is just make whatever it hits explode. Unless the beam were to convert matter into pure energy, a planet, such as Alderaan, shouldn't be completely destroyed. Even if the beam did work that way, it's absolutely impractical. First of all, physically, the beam has to be fired at a close range. Through the cold empty void of space, the beam would lose a large amount of energy traveling long distances. This means your best targets are either close-by enemy spacecraft or the planet/moon your orbiting or are near to. Blowing up the planet/moon is a bad idea, seeing as the massive explosion that would ensue would cause incredible damage to the death star, that is if it didn't destroy it. If it did survive intact, now you have a massive space station, unable to create any thrust to move it's massive self, hurdling through the unknowns of space. That leaves the enemy spacecraft, which would undoubtedly avoid the laser by attacking the other side of the death star.

Of course, you could always shield the death star. Then again, you could also find an scarcely populated planet in which to set up headquarters instead of spending a horrific amount of money on something that gets destroyed every other movie.

—–

Another thing I find stupid about Star Wars is the concept of the Light/Dark Side of the Force.

Right from the get-go, you are taught to think the Light Side (Jedi) is good and the Dark Side (Sith) is bad. It's virtually explicit in the naming. However, some of the Sith hand-wave this by saying something like, “The Dark Side isn't necessarily bad; it's just misunderstood.” In fact, the true nature of the Light/Dark Side issue is that the Light Side deals with the concept of order in the universe while the Dark Side deals with passion (or something along the lines of that). It doesn't really help the Sith's case though when the primary Sith lords Palpatine and Anakin turned Vader are constantly plotting and scheming and gnashing their teeth while they fight (The best example of this occurs at the climax of the third prequel.)

So, does that means the Jedi really are the good guys? Well, they do wish to bring order to the universe, but who do you think defines what this order should be like? Yes, the Jedi. Basically, the Jedi are these reclusive people that only confer with themselves, then, in a counsel with only other Jedi, decide what should be done to “bring balance to the force.” This is evident in the defacto lead Jedi Yoda. He doesn't really go out and help anyone save for a couple times in the prequels. Instead, he just sits in his throne/hermit shack dispensing wise advice, implying that his words are indeed louder than is actions, except for the fact that throughout the many years he has known Anakin, he never successfully persuades him from turning to the Dark Side.

—–

Ultimately, the main thing that's stupid, from the movies at least, is Anakin Skywalker himself. He starts going downhill during the third movie when he thinks his wife Padme is in danger because he has a bad dream about her. So who does he turn to? The Dark Side, of course! This is slightly justified due to the fact the main villain mentions that he has a way to prevent people from dying. However, he'll do anything to get this miracle cure from killing younglings to killing… other people. Then he chokes his wife, and at this point, you have to wonder why doesn't Anakin seem to think this is a really bad idea?

Of course, Padme dies, but not from injuries sustained from her abusive husband, but because “she has lost the will to live”. Who happens to give this diagnosis? A robot doctor. Who programs a robot designed to be a certified medical physician to diagnose people with “lost the will to live?” So, of course, medicine can't save her now. Besides, why would she want to live anyway, other than the fact that she has just become the mother of two children. Are you so selfish that you would rather let your newborn children be raised without parents than be (formerly) married to the dumbest angstiest idiot in the galaxy? Either way, “loving mother” and “devoted wife” weren't probably mentioned on her epitaph.

So, Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader, and then Palpatine essentially says to him, “By joining the Dark Side, you killed your own wife and doomed your fate. Ironic, isn't it?” So, Anakin realizes his mistake, but then from some reason, lives the rest of his life like an asshole and still sides with the Dark Side. Then, he blows up a planet, kills a few more people, cuts his son's hand off, but at the last moment, throws Palpatine off a catwalk (because that's the only way you can kill a powerful Sith Lord) and redeems himself. So to summarize things up, a lot of people end up dying and suffering including an entire planet and Anakin's own son, but in the end, “balance is brought to the force.”

…so the Jedi win! Everyone else loses, but at least the Jedi win…

…I think.

Billy vs. Tree – The epic struggle of boy versus tree.
Sonic Colores – It looks like it's going to be a good game because I love how the way it makes me grow.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:51PM
Pineapple at 3:35AM, April 5, 2009
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Although I agree with all of that, my brain hurts.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:43PM
Mr Lostman at 11:43AM, April 5, 2009
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Is that like this?
Blood Martian Flowers. Occasionally updates.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:07PM
lba at 2:00PM, April 5, 2009
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I wouldn't be surprised if this honestly did start as a thesis paper somewhere and just grew out of hand. Physics majors are weird enough to submit all sorts of nutty concepts in a effort to make things more interesting. I've read a thesis that was on the subject of the death star's cost to build and logistics involved.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
Orin J Master at 2:45PM, April 5, 2009
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humorman
The science and philosophy behind Star Wars is pretty much as far away from accurate as you can get.

First off, the death star is a very poorly designed space craft. Aside from it's TIE fighters, it only has one offensive weapon: it's death beam.

while i agree with the first bit, (and a lot after the second) but the death star has a great deal of offensive weaponry, and it was more a base that had inadvertently been given propulsion for budget reason or something. it has a huge number of lasers, energy emmiters and other defenses…when it's complete. they're simply unoticeible because they're not designed to fight something in it's own weight class. because there was simply no way to build something in it's weight class unless you were the galactic empire.

you could swarm it with the larger starcraft and it could just cut them apart with a sea of laser fire and space-torpedos. or whatever. rememeber the trench race in the original movie? lots of guns on that thing, they were just not made to shoot at something that close. but really, anything with tube that leads directly outside from it's explosive fuel source in a straight line is flawed.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:22PM
seventy2 at 5:03PM, April 5, 2009
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Mr Lostman
Is that like this?

damn you, i had just quit my tv tropes addiction
facara
Running Anew an exercise blog.
I'm gonna love you till the money comes, half of it's gonna be mine someday.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:29PM
Product Placement at 5:38PM, April 5, 2009
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seventy2
Mr Lostman
Is that like this?

damn you, i had just quit my tv tropes addiction
Grumble. I myself got sucked into tv tropes for several hours thanks to that post.

And I think that the original Death star was specifically designed to take out large capital ships that came to close. It was actually packed full of weapons that was spread along the surface. You just couldn't see them because we were normally looking at the base from so far away. These weapons were heavy cannons designed to kill large ships that could severely damage the station. The designers didn't take into account that they'd need to defend against small fighter assault that knew where the “press here to blow up the thing” button was located.

But then again it was also a movie.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM
Puff_Of_Smoke at 3:14PM, April 6, 2009
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Well, considering that Endor is a larger planet than the Death Star, not to mention a lot more denser, the thing should've crumpled into the planet making tiny craters.

Haven't seen that movie in forever.
I
I have a gun. It's really powerful. Especially against living things.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:56PM
Product Placement at 3:29PM, April 6, 2009
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Puff_Of_Smoke
Well, considering that Endor is a larger planet than the Death Star, not to mention a lot more denser, the thing should've crumpled into the planet making tiny craters.

Haven't seen that movie in forever.
I might as well say that considering that Endor is a moon orbiting a gas giant, I'm surprised that it's capable of supporting a diverse ego system with a lush forest.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:50PM

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