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Twilight?
machinehead at 5:41PM, Nov. 4, 2008
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Alright can anyone tell me what the big deal is with this twilight book series and now movie. My wife loves it and so do alot of people apparently. To me it just looks like another vampire movie/book.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:49PM
mike_mcpeeper at 6:16PM, Nov. 4, 2008
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machinehead
To me it just looks like another vampire movie/book.

It basically is. But it's another crappy romantic novel for girls and women to get lost in from their boring lives, too.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Hawk at 9:04PM, Nov. 4, 2008
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I don't derive much entertainment from vampires, so it's definitely one I'll skip.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:46PM
SarahN at 12:14AM, Nov. 5, 2008
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Apparently the vampires in this don't burn in the sun, but sparkle.
That was enough to make me avoid it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:23PM
skoolmunkee at 3:01AM, Nov. 5, 2008
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I tried reading some of it once, but the whole thing just read like someone's bad fan fiction.
  IT'S OLD BATMAN
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:41PM
mlai at 3:09AM, Nov. 5, 2008
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SarahN
Apparently the vampires in this don't burn in the sun, but sparkle.
That was enough to make me avoid it.
Don't tell me… they don't sustain themselves on blood, they live on love.

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
ozoneocean at 3:37AM, Nov. 5, 2008
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skoolmunkee
I tried reading some of it once, but the whole thing just read like someone's bad fan fiction.
Ugh, like my life…
SarahN
Apparently the vampires in this don't burn in the sun, but sparkle.
That was enough to make me avoid it.
Also like my life.
mlai
Don't tell me… they don't sustain themselves on blood, they live on love.
Wow. It's my autobiography. o_o
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:32PM
LIZARD_B1TE at 4:05AM, Nov. 5, 2008
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SarahN
Apparently the vampires in this don't burn in the sun, but sparkle.
That was enough to make me avoid it.

Why did I immediately think of Major Alex Armstrong when I read that?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:38PM
Exzachly at 3:11PM, Nov. 5, 2008
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it sounds tween to the max
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:25PM
Wills42 at 5:32PM, Nov. 5, 2008
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It's harry potter with vampires… and no magic… or wizards… or ghosts… or clevar british writing… Yeah.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:50PM
Koshou at 5:50PM, Nov. 5, 2008
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it's terrible. that is all.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:21PM
Inkmonkey at 10:43AM, Nov. 6, 2008
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I've never read it, but I've been complained to enough about it to give a bit of a synopsis…

The story follows Bella Swan, third annual winner of the “Most Mary Sue Name Ever” contest. Born and raised in Arizona, she miraculously managed to never get a tan and instead is as pale as a China doll. Shes' described as a plain, uninteresting girl despite the fact that absolutely everyone in the book becomes obsessed with her. Anyway, she moves to Washington state that, apparently until the third book or so, is absolutely nothing like the actual state largely because the author had never been to Washington at that point or done more than the minimum of research on it. There she meets Edward and his family, a group of nice-guy vampires who don't drink human blood, go to school fairly regularly, and save themselves for marriage. Anyway, like everyone else in the world, he becomes obsessed with Bella. Largely because, by vampire standards, she smells absolutely delicious, but I guess the desire to eat something is exactly the same as the desire to marry it for vampires. For her part Bella falls deeply in love with Edward because he's apparently the most beautiful man on earth (she uses the term “perfect” fairly regularly) and because, uh… well, that's pretty much it. As far as can be seen they don't actually do much together aside from talk about how much they're in love with each other, and there's a band they both like so… yeah. Oh, and before they start dating, he has a habit of sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, which despite what you've heard in school does not make him a creepy stalker in the slightest.

Anyway, Bella is delicious to vampires, so she's constantly being attacked, kidnapped, etc. by other vampires and Edward has to stop them. Also, the king of the werewolves or something also falls in love with her. Probably a few other people too, but they don't glitter in the sunlight so Bella doesn't really give a damn about them. Also, Bella's supposed to be ridiculously clumsy, to the point that she can show up after being assaulted by a group of vampires, claim she tripped and fell down the stairs, and no one thinks twice about it (or even seeks medical help).

She gets kidnapped at some point, and half the vampires fight the other half, and all the werewolves jump in too because she's such a special little flower that it's worth endangering all their lives to rescue a woman who doesn't actually do anything just because a couple of guys happend to be obsessed with her.

Later on she marries Edward and gets pregnant with his horrible half-vampire demon baby that is slowly killing her from the inside. She eventually goes into apparently the most painful birth ever, to the point that Edward gives her a Cesarian with his teeth, which turns her into a vampire so she can live forever with him. Also, for no reason, she has the strength and abilities of an elder vampire, because as has been stated, she's such a special little flower. Anyway, the demon baby is born, and the werewolf guy falls in love with it. This isn't a very obvious case of pedophilia, of course, because the baby is magic and ages faster than a human. Apparently not being with the woman he loves isn't a big deal as long as he can be with someone who used to live in her vagina.

Other bullshit happens throughout the series, but you can more or less summarize it with “A werewolf falls in love with a baby and everyone's pretty much okay with it”.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
machinehead at 7:27PM, Nov. 7, 2008
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Ugh, I only have 2 weeks until I have to see the dreadful movie. Hopefully it will be a pleasant surprise. My brother made me go see the first Harry Potter movie with him when it came out. I was probably the only one in the theater who hadn't read the book and was convinced Prof. Snape was the bad guy. He was the bad guy in Die Hard!
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:49PM
SarahN at 11:27PM, Nov. 7, 2008
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Inkmonkey
Later on she marries Edward and gets pregnant with his horrible half-vampire demon baby that is slowly killing her from the inside. She eventually goes into apparently the most painful birth ever…

Seriously? Well jeez, I thought Edward loved her? XD That's not a very nice thing to do.

Men….
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:23PM
mlai at 3:09AM, Nov. 8, 2008
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SarahN
I thought Edward loved her? XD That's not a very nice thing to do.
Men….
But he was there in the delivery room!

@ Inkmonkey:
Do ppl in the reviews subforum avoid you like the plague? xD

FIGHT current chapter: Filling In The Gaps
FIGHT_2 current chapter: Light Years of Gold
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:06PM
dangerfunk at 5:50AM, Nov. 8, 2008
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The kids I'm tutoring love this series.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:05PM
Inkmonkey at 9:36AM, Nov. 8, 2008
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mlai
@ Inkmonkey:
Do ppl in the reviews subforum avoid you like the plague? xD

I actually don't frequent the reviews forum often, but the last time I did I ended up in a very long argument with someone explaining why he had the absolute worst sprite comic I had ever read.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
Mushroomcomix at 10:27AM, Nov. 8, 2008
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I have never read the books, nor do I want to. My wife however read them all back to back as soon as the last one came out and now plans on forcing me to go see the movie…she always brings up the fact that I dragged her to go see Borat and that I owe her…
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:08PM
machinehead at 11:06AM, Nov. 8, 2008
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Mushroomcomix
I have never read the books, nor do I want to. My wife however read them all back to back as soon as the last one came out and now plans on forcing me to go see the movie…she always brings up the fact that I dragged her to go see Borat and that I owe her…
I'm in the exact situation my wife has read the books like 4 times each and has being buying all this stupid merchandise and says I have to see the movie with her atleast 2 times. And when I argue she beats the hell out of me. jk She says she has seen all these movies for me. So guess what wife! Transporter 3 and Punisher 2 are coming out I will exact my revenge. And your wife is crazy Borat is funny as hell my wife even agrees on that one.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:49PM
Mushroomcomix at 8:45PM, Nov. 8, 2008
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machinehead
I'm in the exact situation my wife has read the books like 4 times each and has being buying all this stupid merchandise and says I have to see the movie with her atleast 2 times. And when I argue she beats the hell out of me. jk She says she has seen all these movies for me. So guess what wife! Transporter 3 and Punisher 2 are coming out I will exact my revenge. And your wife is crazy Borat is funny as hell my wife even agrees on that one.

She hasn't gotten into all the merchandise but when a preview comes on during a commercial thats recorded on our DVR she will stop fast forwarding to watch it
She can't stand Borat and won't let me watch it when she's home… I can't threaten her with Transporter 3 and Punisher 2 because she wants to see them too… maybe a new Ali G movie will come out soon I hear he's planning one for that Gay character he did on the show.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:08PM
Starbraces at 2:47AM, Nov. 9, 2008
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Aww, man… Twilight. Just the word makes my head hurt. About every girl I know who loves romance and stereotypes loves the Twilight series. And many have tried to get me to like it. I did try to read it, but the whole Vampire thing just throws me off (can it GET any more cliché than using vampires? why not throw in werewolves and Sailor Moon and have a party then)

Basically, it's a love “story” which is ONLY supported by Edward and Bella's incredible love. Which means it's crap. Because every story who doesn't have a plot and is supported by romance and fangirls screaming for more is crap

Inkmonkey
The story follows Bella Swan, third annual winner of the “Most Mary Sue Name Ever” contest.

LOL =D Truer words have never been spoken
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:57PM
Inkmonkey at 7:51AM, Nov. 9, 2008
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Starbraces
(can it GET any more cliché than using vampires? why not throw in werewolves and Sailor Moon and have a party then)


Werewolves do show up, and they also fall desperately in love with Bella.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:00PM
lba at 7:05PM, Nov. 9, 2008
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Thank god all the girls I date just want to see Quantum of Solace. That sounds like Ann Rice on a serious estrogen binge.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
Mushroomcomix at 7:35PM, Nov. 9, 2008
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lba
Thank god all the girls I date just want to see Quantum of Solace. That sounds like Ann Rice on a serious estrogen binge.

Thats one of the best descriptions I have heard yet! :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:08PM
subcultured at 8:30PM, Nov. 9, 2008
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if i ever watch this movie (which is highly unlikely) will be because i've always thought Kristen Stewart is hot


J
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:04PM
Starbraces at 9:57AM, Nov. 10, 2008
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And all the HP fantards who haven't read the Twilight books will watch the movie because Edward is played by the guy who did Cedric in the fourth movie (I think)

*shudders a little*
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:57PM
Mushroomcomix at 11:35AM, Nov. 10, 2008
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Agreed! Probably the only reason to watch this movie if you are forced to do so by a GF or significant other :)



subcultured
if i ever watch this movie (which is highly unlikely) will be because i've always thought Kristen Stewart is hot



last edited on July 14, 2011 2:08PM
crazyninny at 7:25PM, Nov. 10, 2008
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I only read half way into the first book. Because by that point, I wanted to kill off every Twilight fan that I could find.

It has not been successfull… They multiply… Like rabbits…
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:49AM
Tacster002 at 7:44PM, Nov. 10, 2008
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as a lover of original, believable quirky works, Twilight is everything I hate. pointless angsting touted as character development, mary sues up to the ears, and extremely bloated language, all trying to cover up that Twilight and its sequels are just self-insert fluff for depraved tweens. the fourth book was so horrible it actually seemed like horrible fanfiction…for an already-horrible series. by the actual author.

sad, really. I wouldn't hate it so much if it wasn't popular.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:06PM
Skullbie at 9:50PM, Nov. 20, 2008
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Read the first three books, I liked them :) Heck I'm a routine basher of vampire novels. In the end it's just another mediocre book that people who haven't read it will hate because of the fans and the corniness of its plot summery.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:46PM

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