I think waiting from a position of restraint and not giving into urges for immediate gratification is commendable. I think it only show the person can resist urges for sex, however, and doesn't say much about character in general.
I do not think virginity is a good nor bad thing. Not having sex because of some sort of puritanical limitation or because one is afraid or fears community backlash is…well sad.
Frankly, we have no idea of knowing if we're better or worse for waiting or not waiting. We don't get to walk that – or any path really – again.
One hopes the decision whether to remain a virgin or not is something that is made from a position of strength, not weakness.
well said. now I'm a virgin, but I'm NOT waiting until I'm married or some shit like that. I simply just not choose to have sex. I'm not wanting to make my first time special or some shit. I just simply want to have sex with somebody who's worthwhile somebody who would be with me for at least one to two years. And so far I haven't met a guy that I could even consider staying with for that long. And also mainly for health reasons–AIDS, HIV, etc. I don't want to have some kind of casual relationship even though I don't believe in saving yourself for marriage… in fact I don't even plan on getting married.
I guess one of the reasons why I'm still this way is because, funny enough, one of my friends affected me by being the total opposite of that. In high school and college, he was in and out of relationships all the time, the worse being when he contracted HIV from a girl that he was in a relationship with for FIVE WEEKS. It just made him look completely foolish to me.
I'm pretty open minded when it comes to a lot of things. Heck I don't even care if people are gay and having gay sex… in fact a lot of my friends are into some pretty kinky stuff, and even some other stuff some people would consider to be wrong. and I don't mind. All I care about is that my friends have safe sex and not rush into anything like that one mentioned friend of mine.
So basically my views on such things are: Don't rush into anything especially not relationships, take your time and make sure you know what you're getting into, play it safe. Don't let others influence you on the subjects of sex as seeing what they think is right may not be right for you. Do what you feel is right for YOU and you only.
Say I end up having sex out of marriage with some boyfriend who was basically with me for only two years or something, then I'm not gonna let some religous person tell me that I was wrong and sinning. If I was happy with my boyfriend those two years, and we parted ways without too much drama… then I'd like to think that it was time spent well.