I was the kid who wanted to be messed up so they could feel like they're entire F***ing life wasn't a waste of time.

Well…

There have been some bad things in mine, but I wouldn't call the whole thing ‘screwed-up’ or ‘bad’. Most of the moments in my life have been bitter-sweet. Or at least, so far…;)

For example, ever since we moved to this house my brother and I have been the ‘weird kids’ of the neighborhood. Not being allowed to go outside and play much, cupped both of our autistic traits made us both outcasts, fully and completely. That's the ‘bitter’ part.

But those times were some of the best that I can remember. My brother and I had never been closer, and since I had my brother all to myself, I was happy.

I don't think that any childhood can be categorized as simply ‘screwed up’ or ‘normal’. Just bittersweet. Childhood is childhood, it couldn't have been the absolute worst since you all turned out OK.

I was that kid who would tear the outer zip up coverings to comforters, jump in them and run about the yard screaming. Of course, my older sister was nearby filming it.

Then we'd rummage about the neighborhood and pick up trash that was blown everywhere when there was strong wind storms. We collected awesome stuff like oven mitts, an apron, some batteries, a cardboard box, and lots of fun shaped rocks.

I had a tyrannosaurus rex as an imaginary friend. He was wicked cool.

Good times man. Good times.

When I was young the only real problem I had was socializing. But then that's typical for people with AS. I had this little Jeep thing that my mother bought me for my sixth birthday. Those mini-Jeeps with the electric engine in it that kids seem to use a lot nowadays. That thing probably wasn't meant for driving around in an extremely muddy and bumpy forest but nevertheless it lasted ‘til I was nine. When I was five I built a time machine out of boxes. I had absolutly wonderful adventures that took place during the crusades and while in the time of the dinosaurs. I even went back to when the earth had no oxygen breathers and had literally no oxygen. But the mechanized power suit helped me breathe.

Middle school wasn’t much different. Wasn't too popular with most people because I hate looking people in the eye. I really wasn't popular when one of the really popular kids who was a complete asshole with a lot of friends died and I spoke out loud that he deserved it… It didn't help me build much of a good reputation. But I still had friends needless to say. I loved pulling pranks on people. Though mine were kind of dark and morbid. Still they were funny to me.

I had quite the imagination way back then.

My teen years were actually very different from your typical teen. I had no urge to do drugs or drink alchohol or have sex with every hole I see. Parties are extremely boring to me. I'm a decent driver. Haven't got one ticket yet. I only use the word ‘Gay’ to describe happy moments and to describe people who love other people of the same gender. I am no homophobe. Too many on the internet.

We moved an awful lot too. From all over Canada to all over Japan and then back to Canada again. It was very fun though.

My life so far is a success.

…Sigh…

I still have one year and half of Highschool left to go. Might aswell make the most of it.

Koshou

Your awesome beam is not so awesome.

I don't believe my childhood was necessarily horrible but what defines a traumatizing childhood experience is simply the fact that children cannot comprehend external influences until they're much older. It's no boast but I am possibly one of the many genuine living definitions of a disturbed childhood, transformed.

At the age of six, I spent most of my family vacation time listening to old audio cassettes of classical horror literature. The two that I most indulged in were Edgar Allan Poe's “Tell Tale Heart” and “Fall of the House of Usher”. Over time I had developed a rare case of Ichthyophobia, a conditioned response due to many events involving fish and some psychological parallel with my (now semi-clean) alcoholic parents. Unattended by adult supervision, I was often exposed to whims of extremely violent and horrific visuals in movies and in nature. Socially inept, I saw my first therapist by the 1st grade, for which I was unaware the origin of these mandatory sessions. They concluded that I was the ‘prefect little girl’ and sent me off on my way. Even then I became curious if I really was or had I just played the part well enough.
Throughout Middle School I kept mostly to my art, ostracized by my circle of friends for not being sexually active. I watched them all become pregnant within a single year. It only dawned on me how horrified I was by this when I went to my friends 15th birthday party and realized I had walked into a baby shower and saw her pregnant belly. Feeling inadequate with life as it were I was failing everything in school. I was forced to see my second therapist by the turn of mid High School by which I was rendered ‘completely shut down’ and given a many medical prescriptions of little relevance to my mental state. After that I had accepted that I just may be a little ‘messed up’ (or so it was apparent to my superiors since Grade School) and I gave up on my resistance to mind-bending pharmaceuticals to drown out my seemingly non-existent problems. Shortly after that my health greatly declined and it was concluded that my emotional repressions were caused by a hereditary anemia. By the time I had graduated High School I was burnt out and wallowing in a bottle of self pity and confusion.

wait a minute…. uhm…. anyways yeah, YEAH!! I'm pretty damn normal.

Aw, you look so cute!

The ‘before’ picture is kind of disturbing though. Personally, I was left to dwell entirely in my own internal world, due to the fact that my older sister went so far off the rails nobody had time to notice me. What bliss!

Freegurt
I had a tyrannosaurus rex as an imaginary friend. He was wicked cool.

Good times man. Good times.

I can beat that:

This kid HERE had a T.Rex for an imaginary BROTHER!

Telling the nursery nurse that I had a big brother that died a long time ago gave her so much concern that she brought it up with my parents.


Bah, what the hell. I'll try and type out some of the crap that's happened ot me over the years at some point. Not now, though. Too ill.

Faliat

Freegurt
I had a tyrannosaurus rex as an imaginary friend. He was wicked cool.

Good times man. Good times.

I can beat that:

This kid HERE had a T.Rex for an imaginary BROTHER!

My little sister used to be absolutely convinced that she had a brother. One day my mom was trying to convince her that she didn't.
Mom: Honey, you don't have a brother!
Lil sis: I do! I do have a bruzzer!
Mom: Okay, well what's your brother's name?
Lil sis: …I sink I don't have a bruzzer.


My imaginary friend was a girl named Billy. I always got very mad when people thought she was a boy. She lived in the “circle tent”(aka the planetarium) by the museum, although she later moved to Australia, and she had two dogs named Spit and Slobber.

Oh, and a little-known fact about me. I was the cutest kid ever.

I had severe social problems as a kid, seeing as the closest thing I had to a friend until middle school was an old stuffed bear of mine. During 2nd grade I was ‘friends’ with a delinquent who got us in trouble at least once a week and often blamed everything on me. The only highlight of this period was that this was when I discovered Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes, and the Far side. I also had to attend the school psychologist from about 3rd to 5th grade. I nearly flunked 6th grade as well. Thing got a little better after 6th grade but I still had trouble interacting with some people.

I was also in a few fights during school. One in fifth grade where I goaded a group of four kids into attacking me, where I managed to hold them off until Hall monitors broke them up. Another time in sophomore year some jerks were preventing me from leaving the locker room by holding the door shut from the other side, and they had been doing this sort of antagonizing for weeks, so I finally lost it, body slammed through the door, and attacked the first thing I saw. It was in a side hallway, so no teachers found out. They never bothered me again, but an odd side effect of that incident is I get a small surge of anger whenever someone stands still in a doorway. That was probably the last crazy thing that happened directly to me in childhood.

So yeah, that's about it. In between all that my childhood was pretty normal(slowly making more friends, watching cartoons, meeting girls). Looking back on it now, I think I was kind of a dick as a kid, but oh well, you learn from your mistakes, right?

Hippie Van
Oh, and a little-known fact about me. I was the cutest kid ever.

Loving the sneaky little grin you have in this photo.

odd side effect of that incident is I get a small surge of anger whenever someone stands still in a doorway.

Not that odd because we're taught/reminded by our higher-ups never to stand in a doorway blocking the potential exit point of our “clients” (I knew that already by common sense). We're not paid for that kind of ****.

Mother and Father have beaten me at least once with any of these: High heel shoe, keys to the face, belt buckle, wooden spoon, clog shoe, paper book, hardback book, and I dunno. ALso: Been kicked, slapped, and spanked on numerous occasions by not only MY mother, but also someone elses mother.

Long story short: I was the most sarcastic little shit kid ever. My parents also think that physical punishment is WAY better than whatever the hell parents do now.

I agree. Have not been hit in 2 years! WOOO!

My childhood sucked mainly because of school. It was something along the lines of the following picture.



Every moment outside of school was rather pleasant.

My life sucked in childhood as demonstrated here:

Elementary: sadistic pshycotic ,emo
Because my mom was never home (at bus driver job) I was staying with my grandma…who was filling my head with lies…I then grew to hate my stepfather and had psycotic thoughts of killing him all the time. Then I began too hate my mother ,she was always drunk and constantly abused me..and then began too think of suicide\,and needed severe therapy too convinvce me otherwise

Middle school:I then grew too wanting too murder my sister but soon let it go along with all other evil thoughts…I then met logan ..the one person I wanted too see the most,she then realized that I liked her and accepted it and it went well…for a while…she had moved for days ago ,I was sick all week.

High School: 4 words…raped by hot girl (if you understand that)

Prank

That's what my job is like.

Let's see now…

I got some beatings from my dad, and also from all the other kids at my old preschool. Deciding that this was not how I wanted to spend my life, I started hurting every child in elementary school I could get my hands on. Ripped some hairs out of a girl's scalp, punched one kid in the face until I nearly broke his nose, etc. Needless to say I had no friends. Even after my little violent streak ended, I was still a fat kid with glasses and below-average grades. On the upside, I now had a high threshold for pain, so my parents decided, “Out with the physical abuse, in with the psychological abuse!” I guess I sort of mirror what they do to me on other kids, because I started being a fucking horrible, sexist, racist little shit. At that point, not only did I lack friends, but everybody hated me. By 7th grade, I realized there was only one solution to my problems: UNDERAGE DRINKING!

I'll let you assume the rest from there.

I think I had a relatively happy childhood, however I had an emotionally abusive best friend. We had fun, but it's messed me up a lot.