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What would you do if your computer... fell in "love" with you?
Lonnehart at 12:32AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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Yes. I'm throwing this post out of what people like to call the “left field” of my mind…

So what would you do if you got in front of your computer and it gave you the message “in one way or another” that it was in love with you? And it went so far as to put up a face of your preferred gender? And even worse… formatting it and flashing the bios didn't do anything “cure” it of this condition? How do you suppose those around you (wife/girlfriend/family/friends) will react when they see your computer doing this to you?

Personally, I'd bring the whole machine to the local Catholic church… or I'd bring in a minister from the local Church of Nazerene, a priest from the local Catholic Church, and an exorcist and have them attempt to purge my computer of whatever evil being has decided to take up residence in my machine.

Yeah… this post was inspired by THIS VIDEO… again… %)
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:39PM
Skullbie at 12:57AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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I would…
(NSFW)
image
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:47PM
Eunice P at 2:06AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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I'm fine with it as long as it doesn't haunt me like this…
*shameless plug on own comic*



last edited on July 14, 2011 12:23PM
Custard Trout at 3:45AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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Marry it.

I'd probably get around to wiping the screen, as well.

Edit: Seriously though I don't see why my computer would be in love with me, even if it could, considering how much abuse I scream at it on a daily basis and the bouts of violence whenever it fucks up, which is a lot.
Hey buddy, you should be a Russian Cosmonaut, and here's why.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:02PM
lothar at 4:07AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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it sure would make all the masturbation less awkward or maybe more awkward. things could get tricky
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:45PM
AQua_ng at 9:38AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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Make it mai waifu, and then change my career to that of cybernetics and robotics. And then end up in an affair with my DS because I'm such a whore.

—-



;_________;

K.A.L.A-dan! Brigade Captain :D
K.A.L.A.-dan forums!
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:59AM
Product Placement at 9:53AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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If my computer fell in love with me I guess my initial response would be to panic because it meant that computers had finally evolved to a point where they could replace humanity.

Also, it would know where I stashed all my porn.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:51PM
Orin J Master at 10:10AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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Check for viruses.


no, really i'd wipe the entire system. computers can't handle relationships, look what happened when skynet got dumped.
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:22PM
Croi Dhubh at 10:53AM, Oct. 13, 2009
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Seeing as much as I love my computer now, if it some how fell IN love WITH ME, then I'd end up pushing it away and getting a different comp which wouldn't force me to deal with all that shit.
Liberate Tutemae Ex Inferis
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last edited on July 14, 2011 11:55AM
ToniusTobinus at 4:47PM, Oct. 13, 2009
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I've had my desktop for at least four years, which would make it a cougar, and I don't know how I feel about that. Sure, you should see the size of her monitor, but it's not her original one. The speakers and mouse are new, too. Point is, she's had work done, is not as young as she looks, and might have some problems if things get too hot.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:32PM
ERasER at 6:31AM, Oct. 22, 2009
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I'd be worried at first then glad, for no-one can love me more than this machine. Although our kids would be half man half machine, which would be awesome.
BackSeat Gamers
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:22PM
DAJB at 10:41AM, Oct. 23, 2009
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Never going to happen.

My computer hates me. And lets me know it, frequently!
:(
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:04PM
worldwillshout at 12:17PM, Oct. 23, 2009
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Call to John…
Cupcakes are the Devil!
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:51PM
elektro at 4:00PM, Oct. 23, 2009
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I'd say it was lying, then smack it and tell it to make me a sammich.

I kid, I kid.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:21PM
EdibleKyouchouBudgie at 6:59AM, Oct. 24, 2009
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I have failsafe plan if ever this occurs:

1) Make sure computer is not aware of it's own existence.
2) Backup important files before this happens.
3) Burn computer.
4) Buy new computer.

I have lot's of other foolproof plans in case other ridiculous impossible things happen. If it turned out that the computer was aware of it's own existence, and intelligent, then that'd be a whole other issue.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:19PM
lba at 10:51AM, Oct. 24, 2009
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In the event that I find my computer develops any sorts of feelings toward me:

1: walk to closet
2: pick up 18" machete and large magnet in a sock
3: walk back to computer
4: Smash repeatedly with machete
5: hit repeatedly with magnet.

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:29PM
mfc at 12:37PM, Oct. 24, 2009
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Skullbie
I would…
(NSFW)
image

That would be so damn awesome. XD

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A comic by J. Robbins!
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
webcomics heh at 4:10PM, Oct. 24, 2009
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I'm cool with dirty talkin' and all but I work off a laptop so the thing closing on my junk would be rather problematic. Now if the computer was inside one of them Japanese uncanny valley robochicks that'd be a whole 'nother matter. Aw yeeeeeah, all hot and shit. With dual-core Athalon processor cyber-boobs. Heh.

Smug I Could Do
it's only the BEST webcomic. Heh.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:48PM
worldwillshout at 5:42PM, Oct. 24, 2009
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No one has said the most obvious.

Drill a hole in in and then soften the edges of said hole with a soft yet squishy material.

Cupcakes are the Devil!
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:51PM
Lonnehart at 5:31PM, Oct. 25, 2009
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AQua_ng
Make it mai waifu, and then change my career to that of cybernetics and robotics. And then end up in an affair with my DS because I'm such a whore.

—-

;_________;

Don't know what to say about that…

Well, at least it's a quality affair. Unlike low quality affairs which I don't think you'd want to *coughNgagecough* in…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:39PM
Warpedwenger at 8:26AM, Oct. 27, 2009
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Hmmm… Well I guess that would make sense when you factor in all the porn I watch on my comp, I've had more sexual experiences envolving it than any single human. It might start feeling like we have a special connection since I always come back to it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:47PM
iamjenii at 11:18AM, Oct. 27, 2009
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Feel really awkward and whatnot…this is my BF's computer o_O!

I might have to turn it down…just out of respect.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:56PM
Lonnehart at 4:18PM, Oct. 27, 2009
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iamjenii
Feel really awkward and whatnot…this is my BF's computer o_O!

I might have to turn it down…just out of respect.

It could be worse… it might actually be trying to confess to him and not realize that it's you…
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:39PM
iamjenii at 8:29AM, Oct. 28, 2009
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Lonnehart
iamjenii
Feel really awkward and whatnot…this is my BF's computer o_O!

I might have to turn it down…just out of respect.

It could be worse… it might actually be trying to confess to him and not realize that it's you…

Wow, this is a possibility. Then it's just gonna be a reaaaaaaaaaally awkward couple of days… I know I'll get over it in like an hour. I hope it doesn't feet too bad, he's been on his iPhone quite a bit…in front of it DX
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:56PM
PhilWrede at 9:30AM, Oct. 28, 2009
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I think encouraging it to pursue either my iPhone or my old iPod would be the way to go (or maybe both? I've got more than one USB connector cable). Human/computer loving is just a step or two away from total Borgification, and we know how well that turned out for the crew of the Starship Enterprise…
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:43PM
Hakoshen at 10:05AM, Oct. 28, 2009
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My options are limited since we don't have sexy robot bodies to put them in.

First, I'd have to explain away all of the porn. Then, I'd ask her if she loved me so much why she had to be such a lazy ass whore, overheating and making me keep the case open with an additional fan. And oh, the arguing! How she's a slut for Vista and how it takes her so long to start up and how she isn't worth all the money I put into her. She would question why I never buy her anything pretty and I'd tell her it's because her motherboard can't support anymore, and she's all tapped out.

Soon, she would begin to question why I leave her on when I play my 360 or the PS3 and I'd tell her it's because I want her to watch. I want her to WATCH as I play the hell out of those console games.

Then would come the tragic breakup, since I just took out a $2000 loan to buy a new computer now that Windows 7 is out, and to be a complete bastard, I'd tell her I'm keeping our son (the laptop) in the divorce and how I never paid attention to her anyways. She's gotten old and she's not pretty anymore.

Lastly, as I reach for the power button the last time, and she asked me if this was really how it was going to end I'd say “You knew what this was.”


EDIT: After having watched the video, I'd probably treat her like a lady.
God needed the Devil, the Beatles needed the Rolling Stones, Hakoshen needs me.
I'm the enemy he requires to define him.
Soon or later, he'll bring me back to life again for another epic encounter of shouting about power levels and grimacing.
-Harkovast
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:41PM
GracehFaceh at 6:52PM, Oct. 28, 2009
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I'd seriously wonder if I woke up in an amateur porn.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:38PM
webcomics heh at 11:42AM, Oct. 29, 2009
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Hakoshen
My options are limited since we don't have sexy robot bodies to put them in.

Welcome to the FUTURE!!!

Smoooooooookin'… Heh.

Smug I Could Do
it's only the BEST webcomic. Heh.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:48PM
ThePriestess at 10:19PM, Oct. 29, 2009
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It would have to put up with my cheating ways, relationships with other appliances, and long absences, but if s/he could put up with that…

I'd go with it for a while just to make all of my friends who are notably geekier than I jealous =D
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:25PM
Hakoshen at 3:14PM, Oct. 30, 2009
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webcomics heh
Hakoshen
My options are limited since we don't have sexy robot bodies to put them in.

Welcome to the FUTURE!!!

Smoooooooookin'… Heh.

I think Japan just solved their overpopulation problem XD
God needed the Devil, the Beatles needed the Rolling Stones, Hakoshen needs me.
I'm the enemy he requires to define him.
Soon or later, he'll bring me back to life again for another epic encounter of shouting about power levels and grimacing.
-Harkovast
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:41PM

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