I sometimes have a zombie dream in which I win. But it usually ends in which I shoot the last zombie and get a closer look only to discover it's one of my family members, or they're not really a zombie, or something. But they are never filled with candy. Damn!:)

SeriousQuiche
Why are zombie dreams always so unfortunate?? I want a zombie dream where we win!…and the zombies are filled with candy…

Zombies should be filled with maggots and poop, that way if you bash them over the head you get covered in it and I can sit back and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh…

ozoneocean

SeriousQuiche
Why are zombie dreams always so unfortunate?? I want a zombie dream where we win!…and the zombies are filled with candy…

Zombies should be filled with maggots and poop, that way if you bash them over the head you get covered in it and I can sit back and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh…

Poop? I seriously hope I am aiming for the head of the zombie…and that there are no feces in the brain cavity…because that is just weird.

Do zombies poop?
How do they digest the brains if their bodies are all rotten?

Willicus
Do zombies poop?
How do they digest the brains if their bodies are all rotten?

EXACTLY!

They'd be like prawns (shrimps to you Americarnos), they keep their crap in their heads! That means that before you eat a zombie, you have to pull its head off…

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH.
WOAHWOAHWOAH.
WOAH.
WAIT A SECOND.
WOAH.

Prawns… keep their poop… in their HEADS?

ozoneocean

Willicus
Do zombies poop?
How do they digest the brains if their bodies are all rotten?

EXACTLY!

They'd be like prawns (shrimps to you Americarnos), they keep their crap in their heads! That means that before you eat a zombie, you have to pull its head off…

You don't eat zombies unless they are pinatas.

SeriousQuiche

ozoneocean

Willicus
Do zombies poop?
How do they digest the brains if their bodies are all rotten?

EXACTLY!

They'd be like prawns (shrimps to you Americarnos), they keep their crap in their heads! That means that before you eat a zombie, you have to pull its head off…

You don't eat zombies unless they are pinatas.

Or you're really hungry and they kinda look like jerky.

all my dreams tend to tread the line between “weird” and “wow, that would make a cool movie”…

I once dreamnt that I was a mermaid who lived in an ocean that floated above a city. it was the raddest thing ever.

and then there was that dream I had where I was in a Nazi deathcamp that had a library for some reason? and the Nazis had dogs that sniffed out me and my sister (I was taking her to a tennis match at the library???) but we got away by hiding under apile of old books.

and then we turned into dogs and everything was in black and white. that was probably the weirdest one I've had…

Evil_Snuffkin
A couple of weeks ago I had a dream my flat was on fire. The next day we all were evacuated because somebody set their kitchen on fire by leaving food in the oven. Every now and then I get wierd coincidence dreams like that.

perhaps its not coincidence but what they call a premonition, its possible for the mind to reach into its most strongest powers when u are sleeping

hmm ide have to say the most vivid dream i have till this day is of a green eyed,black werewolfen like beast. in the dream i was heading home with mother and a friend and the car suddenly died, it was late around 12:00 and reely fogy out, no matter what i tried the car wouldnt start. suddonly when i glanced over on the bank beside us i seen a huge dog like shadow glancing back at me with green eyes, it came closer and i realized it wasnt a dog at all but an almost human like form. it walked around the car about 3 times and then would dash off, the car began to run again and so i got us home as fast as i could,still a bit freaked out. but when i got home,as all dreams usualy do get weird, my mom suddonly says she forgot something at the store,so she leaves us home alone. we locked the doors and went to bed,but suddonly something knocked at the door on the front portch loudly, i knew it wasnt a normal knock. i looked out but didnt see anyone, so i locked my bedroom door.next thing i know this thing is roughling around out side at the window, i can hear it running around scattering the dead leaves under its feet. it would come closer to the window and i could hear it breathing heavy. it then went back to the door and began to knock again, but sence i wouldnt come to the door it began to run laps around the house again and it then came to the basement and began to walk up the steps tourge our unlocked hallway door, i jumped up and ran to the door and managed to lock it b4 it could twist the nob any farther, it really ticked it off and it began to bash the door. b4 i could get back in the room it bashed the door off the hinge and fog rushed in but it never came in itself, it just growled through the blackness that the door was hideing. i ran tourge my room and locked my door b4 it walked through the hallway. when i got to my room it was once again outside breathing at my window but when i opened the blinds i seen it wasnt the green eyed wolf i had seen b4 but a red eyed one instead, i woke from the dream remembering its flashing teeth and the red of its eyes at my window.till this day i have peacfull dreams of a green eyed wolf resymbling the one with red eyes only she is calm and looks almost content. but sometimes i wonder what the red eyed wolf wanted and why it did what it did in that dream

Every dream I have is wierd. One of my favourites was this one where at the start I was standing in a crowd waiting for some time travellers to come back from an expedition to the jurasic period. When they came back they brought dinosaur eggs with them.
Sonn the government started offering people “improovements” by shooting a dinosaur egg into the top of a citizens skull. Theese “imprrovements” promised to make the subject smarter, however they had the reverse effect and made them mindless slaves!
I caught on to this so the government came after me, I ran but not without stopping at the grocery store first to buy some mortedella to live off when i was ion hiding, but it was all off it's use by date, I got some stuff but then I realised that maybe the motredella at the back of the shelf would be fresher, it was. Even though logicaly it should have been older.
Then I saw a friend of mine and he told me to follow him, I met up with another friend who I walked with as I followed the first friend. We passed some kids in our grade and I said, “thoose are probably the classes coming back from the school camp.” Then I realised that they were not as they were all from assorted form classes.
The principal of the school heard this and began singing about how I should never mistake a group of people for a form class coming back from a school camp. He then asked me what i should never do again and I told him what I just learnt from his song.
We then continued out journey to find the friend we were following in the middle of a field filled with cow menua and pointing at one patty in particular saying, “look, look, look!.”
I think that dream had a moral, but I'm not sure what it was.

BffSatan
I think that dream had a moral, but I'm not sure what it was.

- don't do drugs.

ozoneocean

BffSatan
I think that dream had a moral, but I'm not sure what it was.

- don't do drugs.

or that he should do more…

Willicus
I don't know if it was the weirdest one ever, but last night I had a dream where my step brother and I were Robot-Shovel-Fighting.
I can't remember what we were fighting over, but all of a sudden we were both in giant robot outfits and we were wailing on eachother with shovels.
And after some epic fighting, I had broken his backplate and his battery fell out. So I made him say “uncle” and that was when my buddy called and woke me up.

What's the wierdest dream you've ever had?

Hi, I'm Lynn.

Oh what a fun dream, Willicus!

I too like giant fighting robots (Gekigangar III!) and have had similar dreams and I'm totally gonna' answer this question after I respond to each person that posted, because…well, I have mounds of VERY vivid dreams and I think this is a fun little topic, plus…Mike is drawing and I'm bored, so I'm a forum junky today)

Mike is my husband…there's two of us and he's sittin' on the couch drawin' lookin' over my shoulder. Anyway, on with it!!

Hippy Van

Hippie Van
I have way too many weird dreams to pick just one, but here's an amusing one I had a little while ago: I woke up(in my dream), got out of bed and looked in the mirror, only to realize that my eyebrows were huge, sticking nearly a foot off of my forehead. So my thought was “Oh, I must have slept on my eyebrows wrong.” And that was the whole dream.

Oh…my god Hippy Van….the imagery of your giant eyebrows is crackin' me up. I read it to Mike and he (has since quit drawing and is now Swoop Racing')

You know what I talkin' about!…Knights of the Old Republic…is also laughin'. Cute dream. He had giant eyebrows sometimes…but he's pretty careful about it…but he really laughed!

Hi, Alex. I'm Lynn. I to like chocolate and the Beatles. But, not chocolate Beetles. Although, I had chocolate covered crickets one time and once you got over the shock of it, it wasn't too bad. I prefer it with just nuts. Chocolate and nuts. But, yeah…Love the Beatles. I also like eating meat, which means we don't have that in common…but seein' as how I like the chocolate and and the music…cut me some slack. :)

Willicus RESPONDS: to Hippy Van's Ginormous eyebrows…
Maybe that's what's happening with my butt.
I just sleep on it wrong, so it's huge. O:

Oh, Willicus! I'm clicking on your profile…that was funny as a duck wearin' rollerskates!

He's Willicus.
That's his name.
That name again is Willicus.

Oh, Willicus, you do not disappoint!

machinehead

machinehead
I always have f'd up serial killer dreams where i'm the killer. This one dream I was shooting bullets out of my butt they were silent but deadly.

Ahhh, machinehead…you' do your icon justice. Who doesn't enjoy a well-placed fart joke. But, not to make light of such dreams…I often have a dream where creepy creepy kinda' “Devil's Rejects” meets “One of us, one of us!” freaks are chasing me. And sometimes…I'm alone looking for my husband…other times, I'm looking for my little brother, father…or some combo of the three. Sometimes, people from my past are fodder for the “Folk” that are after me through this maze of carny tents…rusted rides/with a gypsy nomad vibe. The creepiest are when they are after me alone. Always chanting that they are ‘gonna bowl with my skull. UGH! Those are fun and scary to wake up from. Mike’s woken me up several times when my screamin' woke him up first. (I always make it out in the end!)

bravo1102

bravo1102
I had an extremely vivid dream (that included all five senses) that I deployed to Kosovo and while walking around behind my tank (it was very cold in the dream and nice and warm behind the tank because of the exhaust) I got shot through the eye by a sniper.

It ended with me falling back into the snow, hearing the crunch and feeling the cold and wet of the snow, feeling the blood going down my face, the glass from my shattered glasses on my cheek and hearing someone cry “MEDIC!”

OoOoo, that is shiver down the spine. That would give you a start…and not as nearly as fun as the ‘eyebrows one. But, seriously…wow! I’m tryin' to lighten the mood ‘cause that was seriously jolting. Real life horror dreams like that are the worst/best. But, I bet since you are a “Vet” that this is particularly creepsome….you’re of consequence!

I'm gonna' end there, have a smoke and come back for more responses in a second. Plus, for some reason…people get turned off by too long of a forum post. I personally like a little.

Evil_Snuffkin

Evil_Snuffkin
A couple of weeks ago I had a dream my flat was on fire. The next day we all were evacuated because somebody set their kitchen on fire by leaving food in the oven. Every now and then I get wierd coincidence dreams like that.

Oooo, I love a good premonition dream. Those are always fun. Now if the one where “Dialin' for Dollars” finds my number I'll do a “Happy Dance.”

amanda

amanda
Oh man - I have really fun, epic-adventure type dreams pretty regularly. Probably the weirdest one is the one I've been having over and over again lately where giant robots are attacking the city while I'm at my office Christmas party. The dream is the same up to a specific point, and then I keep trying different things to stop the invasion, but I've died every single time so far. I'm thinking that I'll keep having this dream until I figure out the right actions to stay alive.

It's actually a really fun dream - and if I had any talent at all for drawing mechs, I'd absolutely make a short comic out of it.

IT sounds like a fun dream! I have dreams like that. I also adore those dreams that you can fall back quickly into and pick up where you dozed in. I hope you save the city!

Skullbie

Skullbie
I had a dream i was an archaeologist and found Jesus' poop on a clifface. When i got to the top there were a ton of reporters going ‘you found jesus’s poop!' and offering me millions for it.

I also have reoccurring dreams frequently, but thankfully this isn't one of them. lol!

Gross and HA! My reoccurring are always spooky. The sad thing is…you could probably get millions for that poop. Awwww, dreams.

Warpedwenger

Warpedwenger
I had a dream where There were all these dragons attacking and I ran up and jump on one and flew away. It was really rad.

Rad Indeed! I haven't had adventuring dreams of that magnitude in years, every now and then if I've seen a particularly good movie or read something I really dug, I'll have such a trip to Nod. What fun.

Ironscarfs Ghost

Ironscarfs Ghost
I dream that I go up into my attic and my attic actually has an attic of it's own.
Practically every night.

Watson, describing Sherlock Holmes in “A Study in Scarlet”
You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.

lastcall

lastcall
I have a lot of great dreams. I keep a dream journal in my nightstand so as soon as I wake up, I can record them before I forget them. I was looking through the journal last night and apparently I had a dream several years ago about a snowman shaped like a rabbit, and he had a huge pinecone, uh, manly appendage, if you catch my drift. Don't ask me why I dreamed that.

Anyway last night I had an interesting, vivid dream. Remember Jareth the Goblin King (David Bowie) from the movie, Labyrinth? I dreamed that he threw a huge feast in my honor in this cavernous, lobby-like room. The floor and walls were made of black and white marble, and there was a black sun pattern on the floor. Giant black marble colums soared high into the room, and the ceiling was so high I could not see it. Long tables with food filled the room and goblins were everywhere. Jareth was at the head of it all, sitting on his throne and looking bored. Suddenly I jumped up on a table and shouted, “I challenge you to a duel!” and pointed at Jareth. This caught his attention, and the entire room suddenly became quiet.

Suddenly my father appeared at one of the tables and told me to stop, that he would duel Jareth instead. I looked at my father and said “No, dad, this is my fight. I need to do this.” And I turned back to Jareth to wait for his answer.

Jareth sneered at me and with an evil smirk, he said, “So be it. But if you lose, you are mine.”

And with that, the goblins suddenly shouted, and in my hand and Jareth's hand were sharp rapiers, and we suddenly jumped high into the air above the tables and began an inhuman, acrobat Matrix-y like fight. We flew among the rafters of the room and danced along the walls like spiders, rapiers furiously parrying.

Suddenly I lost my rhythm and Jareth's rapier found its mark, piercing me in the stomach. We both landed back to the floor as I stumbled, vision fading and the goblins' jeering ringing in my ear. Jareth scooped me up into his arms and whispered in my ear, “And now for our bargain…” and began whispering some kind of spell. That's when the “camera” moved up over us and I saw myself changing in his arms, becoming some sort of evil queen with a black dress, black hair & eyes, and deadly white skin…..

And then I woke up.

No no GO BACK TO SLEEP! This was just gettin' juicy. HaHAha! Loved it. Who doesn't remember Jareth and his flashin' cod? As for the Snowman…that's just…funny.

mlai

mlai
This dream isn't weird but it's fun. I had a Mega Man dream where I'm Dr. Wily, I just conquered the city and I'm touring the streets standing proudly on my parading giant robots. It feels like 1 of those ticker-tape parades in Manhattan, except with giant robots instead of parade limos, and no one is throwing confetti.

And then Mega Man attacks my forces and all my giant robots go down like a house of cards. I run and hide in the lobby of a skyscraper and take my ray gun out. I'm thinking about what to do and he finds me and starts running after me. Rocket skates pop out from under my shoes and I skate into the street trying to escape. But Mega Man runs really fast(!) and he tackles me and we're rolling around on the ground.

Then I woke up.

I rarely dream that I'm someone else. Sometimes…I'm a toon. But, even if it doesn't look like me…it's still me. (Except when I'm Buffy or Rogue. Do those count??? 'Cause I still look like me.) YAY for more giant robots!

Hi, have missed you Dear, usedbooks. Real life jumped up and bit me on the bottom…but, I'm here to play some more in the sandbox of DD forums…how are you woman? (PQ me!) Okay, on with it…

usedbooks
This was my recent weird one:

I was in a hobby/comic book store with my brother and he was complaining about how everything was out of stock and little selection. I told him the comic industry was in a sad state. Then I saw a collection of cheaply-made placemats in the impulse line, and they featured pictures of scenic vacation spots (mostly aerial views). Among them was the “Chocolate Hills.”

Without any transition at all, my dream was now set in the evening/night at the Chocolate Hills, a rock outcrop that reminded me a bit of Seneca Rock except that the rock was dark and smooth/shiny and there was a building built into the mountain with an elevator that took people up to an observation room in the dip of it. There was a big open field that went right up to the rock face (like Stone Mountain ), and a couple people at the base watching people throw wads of paper down, trying to hit wastebaskets lined up in the field.

I was there (on vacation) with my dad, mom, granddad (the one who's been dead for 8 years), and Mom's friend Shirley. They were going to take the elevator to the lookout, and I went with them, but the elevator was full. They said there was room, but I chose to stay behind anyway. I went to look at the mountain from the field instead. Along with the paper wads, larger objects were coming off the mountain but I'm not sure if anyone was throwing them. A couple people around me caught one. I wasn't trying to or in the fray (people diving for them, etc), but one came my way, and I caught it. They were large eggs.

They were pretty, but I didn't know what it was all about, until someone near me cracked the shell of his, and just below the shell was solid milk chocolate. The others around me all happily broke into their milk chocolate rewards too. I broke into mine, but found no chocolate, just a pretty speckled egg. At someone's suggestion, I broke that shell too and found another shell below it. I was both disappointed and amused, thinking someone went to the trouble of making an egg that was just layers upon layers of eggshell. Part of me wanted to stop and not be taken in, but my driving curiosity made me continue cracking shells. To my surprise, several layers down (at least five), I got through all the egg shell and a delicate and intricate lily, made of white chocolate, unfolded into my hands. I noticed that it was much smaller than the milk chocolate eggs but far more beautiful and certainly enough chocolate to share and enjoy. I folded the petals back up and waited for my mom to return. When they got back, I showed her. It was getting late, so Dad and Grandpa headed back to our van, while Mom, Shirley, and I were going to camp in the field.

That was so sweet. I want to go to “Chocolate Hills.” I love dreams where the scenery abruptly changes for no explainable reasons. I've been having dreams lately with people and family from the past that I haven't seen in years or have moved onto what's next. Those are always fun. I never dream of anything as perfect as “Chocolate Hills” though.

PIT_FACE
man, i love dreams. well as long as someone i care about isnt getting whacked, those are horrible. but if i tell ya my weirdest dream, it'll probly be outdone in a month or two. i've been haveing these fucked up nightmares since i can remember.

but there's 3 that REALLY stick out i wont go into detail cuase i dont even know if anyone reads this shit anyways. but basically, one was where there was a zombie plague and after the amy killed the zombies and my friends, they tricked me onto a nazi steam-powered slave ship.

then a few years ago i had this really biblical one, which is very rare for me. i know of two like that. but admitedly, this was after seeing exorcist the begining and i had a dream about the last apostle succumbing to the evils of hell overcomming the earth. it was fucking horrid.

then there came Lemmy…yes, Mr. Lemmy Kilmister of motorhead himself….he wanted to preform surgery on me. unnecessarily. i remember man, i was strapped to the operating table and trying as hard as i could WITHOUT FREAKING THE FUCK OUT that i needed my liver or whatever it was he was trying to take i was pleading to the nurses as they wheeles me down the hall way, but they didnt pay attention. Lemmy was holding a fuckin pizza cutter he was like “ aw quit bein a baby! it aint gonna hurt and ya dont need that liver anyways!” man…i was sceamin my fuckin head off. think i woke myself up.

but all that shit about not seeing colors and reading shit and dyin during dreams, it aint true. i've read names i dont know how to pronounce, seen vivid slime green sewers and been shot in the fuckin head to rise back up after a lull in my sleep, as i see in this thread i'm not the only one. a lot of times i mention dreams to people they look at me real weird but i see a lot of people in this thread have weird shit goin on in their heads at night too, maby it's just the artist and story tellers comming out of us at night.

but then there's prophetic dreams and stuff like that…who fuckin knows, most of this shit would make great writing though!!

First…oh, I like dreams too. Better'n a free movie. Okay let's tackle the Zombies…I dream of Zombies and the like ALL THE TIME! I'm usually tryin' to get myself and toddlers (Little kids I've never seen before…sometimes a boy, other times a girl…sometimes it's a teenager.) Anyway, I'm tryin' to get them and myself through zombie infested cities and the like. Never ended up on a slaver boat though. (After I read the Anne Rice “Beauty” books had some slave dreams though…although of quite a different hue.)

Next. Oh, I hate the biblical scary dreams. I seldom have them (Although “The Exorcist” has triggered a few.) Always frightening.

Oh, needles surgery dreams are tummy twistin' aren't they? Brutal! Never had anyone famous wanna' rip me up…again, except in quite a different hue. (naughty)

And finally…I totally agree with all the negative dream wrap! I dream in color…know for a fact that I have read in my dreams…and have died more than once. You know who came up with that??? People with boring humdrum dreams tryin' to make themselves feel normal. I like my colorful dreamland and feel real sorry for people that are Boring Dreamers. (Also, I wake up screaming and crying a lot…those are the one's I have the hardest time remembering.)

I had many dreams. Sometimes they extend all the way into this reality.

- I dreamt that I was in a hotel and about to piss. I woke up right away and went to piss.

- I dreamt I saw a demon hovering above my head, then there was something that grabbed me in the face and in the balls. At the same time I was temporarily paralyzed. I struggled then got free.

- I dreamt of being ambushed by a guy and two girls. They grabbed my arms and took me down. And then there was a force pinning down both of my arms on my bed. I struggled then got free.


Weird…

Kyupol those are pretty ordinary really. The first one comes about due to the physical need- needing to go to the toilet makes you dream about it. :)

The second type is the classic immobilisation dream. you can wake up with that because you're partly still dreaming when you do. you feel that you've woken completely, but still pinned down because your half woken mind tricks you that you are fully awake (even when you have your eyes open). One you wake up completely, you can “get free”.

Ha, but maybe they're weird for you?

—————-

Ok, I had a strange dream the other night…

It had a futuristic setting. The gravity was fairly low and the buildings were pretty colossal in size, massive! I was wearing a kind of futuristic military uniform…
I happened to be at some sort of community administration building, travelers stopped off there, so did students and things. I saw a friend of my sister (not a friend in reality) and said hello to her. She recognised me and said “Hello sergeant”.
I told her I wasn't a sergeant anymore, I'd transferred to the navy and had since become a junior officer, which I was quite pleased about, but I also wanted to impress her because she was pretty…

Anyway, I decided to walk her home, which was quite a long way, but it was ok since the gravity was so low. If you jumped high enough and caught the breeze just right you could glide a long way. It was a nice walk, the sea was blue, the grass was bright green… and the sky was dark purpley blue- Maybe it was inside a glass dome on a moon or something?
So we glided along, and then some angry fool in a red convertible tried to run me down. I didn't really care since he was really easy to avoid in the gravity, just an annoyance, since it took my companion's attention away from ME somewhat.

I woke up in the end feeling a bit disappointed that I couldn't spend more time with her… :(

I get weird dreams almost every night and rarely remember anything from them. I noticed they tend to be quite non sequitur in structure and figured out it's related to me turning in bed. On nights when I wake up in the same position as I went to bed, I usually have dreams that follow sort of a story, but when I turn around in the bed, the dream shifts drastically. I seriouslyt can't tell what was the weirdest.

One of the more recent ones was where I was in my room at the new place we lived in (and it was half finished, some walls were still raw bricks and concrete) and there was a sort of of a ladder going up the wall… came out that it lead through some huge cave to some rich guy's room and that was his escape route or something? and once I climbed up there there was classical music playing and everything was from marble and otehr stuff so I went through his place and came out through the front gate and then I was wondering whether my room has any roof at all or not :)

Ive been dreaming about my daughter every night since i left.

Last night I dreamt that i finally got back to my family, and my gf had gotten my daughters hair cut and it looked awful. I was pissed and told my gf I hated her and that “It's over”. I then held my daughter and cried.

….

I have tons of crazy dreams (usually sexy too)

There was one where I was biking around town exhausted and tired, so I closed my eyes for a bit, and when I opened them I was biking inside some dude's house, while he was watching TV, so I biked out of the house real fast, and went home.

This one I had I was walking around my school and all by friends were trying to beat the crap out of me, they came at me and i magically knew Kung Fu so i fought them off, doing roundhouse kicks and stuff. & I did a flip down some stairs. After running around the school for a while I walked into one of my friends who was just trying to fight me 5 minutes ago. He was drinking a coffee or something, but he didn't even care that I was right there, it was like he never even fought me. So I punched that bitch in the mouth. He just looked at me annoyed, gave me a “DUDE, I'm drinking coffee” look.

One dream I was being chased by a Jason Voorhees wannabe who had a chainsaw. I was in the basement and he burst in, but I was hiding and was able to run upstairs and out the door. Then he chased me down on the street, magically transformed into a baby and shot an ingram Mac 10 at me. I managed to not get hit, and ran the fuck outta there.

In one I met Dave Mustaine the guitarist for Megadeth (I met a young version of him) , we talked a bit and then we jammed.

In one I was a zombie, and I looked in the mirror and my eye was hanging out. Gross.

There's a lot more, but I can't think up any good ones. There was one where I had 2 wangs, it was difficult to pee.

I have many strange dreams ranging from nightmares about the Michelin Tire Man to running and leaping through the forest like a deer over rocks and fallen trees.
But the funniest one was where I didn't walk or run or swim to get around the dream but did that helicopter kick from Street Fighter with that crazy “Wahookick!” as moved. I didn't kick anybody or fight anybody in the dream. I just moved around in that said fashion floating kind of and doing that spinning kick.

Five words:
Vampires, Pudding, and Disposable Handguns.

I dreamed that children were being turned into cereal at a factory.

I just had an couple that really took the cake compared to my other dreams so far.

I dreamed that I was at the beach, playing volleyball in shorts and a tanktop with a group of random people. it was a really sunny, hot day so my skin started getting sunburned so badly. but it didn't hurt yet, so I just kept on playing until I won.

And then I went into this shower facility to change clothes. That's when my mother appeared and asked me if I was ready to go home. but when she saw my body when I was in the middle of changing, she started laughing hysterically.

when asking what was so funny, she told me to go look in a mirror. So I did, and I noticed that the sunburned parts of my body had somehow inexplicably taken on a black skin tone. and By black, I do mean African-American. The rest that hadn't been touched by the sun (the areas where my sunglasses and tank top/shorts were) was still my normal pasty white color.

I then just sighed. “Great, what am I going to do now? I look like a freakin' human panda! That, or looking like God randomly took parts from blacks and white and put them together….”
My mom was snickering as she replied: “Well, you could always get a job at the zoo!”

That's when I woke up.

The other dream this week so far I had was this one where I had to take an class on childcare for some reason.
It started off relatively normal, with us learning how to properly hold a child (which was easy for me)…

But then as the dream progressed, it became even more stranger, with the woman telling that we should wrap the babies in pie dough to keep them quiet(you know, those square/round things that you can buy from the market premade? yeah, those).
She then also suggested rolling them in flour to bread them, etc. Apparently, according to them the babies loved being breaded, and afterward they should be placed into a very warm area for them to grow properly…

At this point, I just raised my hand and remarked that none of her methods for childcare made no sense at all… and not just that, but that it suspiciously sounded like some sort of cannibalistic recipe.

The woman got upset at this, and then started calling me vulgar names. This in turn made me angry, so I got up and started arguing with her literally face to face. And when I told her that she should be fired for questionable practices, she pretty much tore my clothes off all in one movement. She then tried to ridicule me then for being naked in front of others.
“Ha! Your attempts to humiliate me does nothing! I've been naked millions of time and I don't CARE!” I laughed at her, and then I pretty much punched her in the face. I then jumped on her and started ripping her hair out…and at this point I woke up.

Ochitsukanai
Man, I have so many dreams it's hard to choose just one…

I once dreamed that I was just getting home and getting out my keys to unlock the door when a tiny black car drove up. I looked at it, and suddenly all these skinny men started coming out of it, just a completely unrealistic number of them. All wearing skintight yellow spandex outfits with large blue semicolons on the chest like a superhero logo.

I frantically tried to unlock the door as they swarmed up the yard, but was too panicky to get the key in the lock, so they grabbed me and took me back toward the car.

It later turned out that they were trying to get good footage for an instructional video about punctuation. I made a speech at a fancy premiere showing, something like “I'm honored to be helping the younger generation. The horror you see on my face there is very real, but it's worth it for the sake of the children.”

Oh my goodness, Ochitsukanai. That has me crackin' up…I can just see the clown car of yellow spandex…then the instructional video is the real punch line…What a twist. Really, very fun…“Won't someone think of the children?”