You wake up at the side of a road, coughing up blood in a muddy ditch. Moving your arm hurts like hell, you realize it's broken. Attempting to scream only results in a hand being wrapped around your mouth, feebly moving you are carried away, blacking out once more.

You wake up in a cozy bed, your arm in a sling and a old man watching you with a curios look in his eye.“Ah, yer lucky ‘old Rob was able to pick ye up from that dere road, my eye’s ain't what they used to be. You must be that kid who Samuel mugged up, you can go bother him once you answer a few questions. Being town doc, I gotsa do that. So, you name? Gender? Job? What's yer face look like?”


Choose your own adventure, decide how you will respond to the doc. This is a techno-western setting, which occasionally, if not very often, will parody most RPG's.

Where am I?! Did they have to remove my Flandango?! NOT MY FLANDANGO!! Flandango was best dango…

“Well, we did find a smuched up flan near your body, which we had to revive, making you a cyborg. Advantages and disadvantages, but that Flan is gone. However, the common house still is doing flan friday. But first, please answer this standardized test. Name, Gender, Job, Appearance.”

Name: Flan
Gender: Flan… I mean male.
Job: Cafeteria worker
Appearance: I have a cannon on my arm that makes shoots flan.

Now off to the cafeteria to make flan.

Better check on that guy over there.

Because of your career choice, here are your stats:
-Strength:Good
-Perception: Decent
-Endurance: Decent
-Charisma: Good
-Intelligence: Crappy
-Agility: Crappy
-Luck: Crappy


A young man with a ridiculously oversized energy sword and a bizarre outfit with buckles, daggers, ripped off sleeves, and a collar obscuring his mouth is sitting brooding in a corner. Wimpy antagonist with huge female fanbase is obviously apparent. As you approach, he mutters,“Get the package, give to Ricardo, collect money, write poetry, laugh diaboli- oh, you. You survived? What do you need then, wimp?”

Say the right stuff, you know what the hell is going on. Say stuff to upset this freak, you do a battle. A battle with flan and stuff. Oh, and I'm running this on two other sites, so two other characters whose choices make changes here. In the end, the choices all three of you make determines this places fate.