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Worst Movie ever?
ozoneocean at 5:15PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Oh I just thought this'd be a fun topic. We've probably had this one before, but it's always interesting.
Maybe we can even have some arguments about it? For instance: I didn't think “Plan 9 from outer space” was that bad a film. I wouldn't even put it in the worst 300. Even “Hudson Hawk” had some good points.
-My taste isn’t the same as everyone else, (perhaps it's not as good….) :)

The worst movie I can think of right now was “Hawk the Grey Slayer”
-A terrible, terrible, fantasy film in the style of dungeons and dragons… AWFUL: Day-for-night scenes, horrible story, vomitous acting, shoddy sets, horrible disservice to fantasy in general, pointless story, boring as poo, not even any nudity to make up for the rest, (which you sort of expect in those early 80's Conan cash-in movies).

The next worst movie I can think of was called something like “Faster pussycats! Kill, kill!”
That's more of a classic bad’n from the 60's, the kind of film people who hate Plan 9 should really be focussing on. I can't even describe how bad it was, but if you've never had a migraine headache and wondered what all the fuss was about, well, see that movie and you'll know.

Ah, here it is online!
Someone gave it a good review too! There you go: Different strokes for different folks.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
Tyrapendragon at 5:25PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Personally my worst movie is:

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

It's directed by and starring Steve Odedeck who did all the “Thumb” movies. He used an old Hong Kong movie and added himself and some other characters into it using CGI. The only reason I didn't walk out of the theater was because watching other people watch it was much more entertaining than the film itself.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:35PM
ccs1989 at 5:49PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Kung Pow was a funny movie! It was very…something.


Anyway, worst movie? I really thought Madagascar was pretty bad, which I saw while on an airplane. But I dunno…there's probably a worse one. I don't watch many movies though.
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“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:37AM
Hawk at 5:56PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Choosing a worst movie is about as possible as choosing a best movie. It's so subjective that for every person it will be different.

for instance,

tyrapendragon
He used an old Hong Kong movie and added himself and some other characters into it using CGI.

That's exactly what I thought was funny about it. Yeah, the movie had big problems and it wasn't very funny, but seeing an old Hong Kong movie (two of them, actually) be twisted like that made me laugh. It wask like a more involved MST3K.

My “worst movie”?
Gordy.

There's lots of runner-ups. Maybe I'll think of them later.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM
ozoneocean at 6:11PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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The subjective part is the fun part in a topic like this!
People can argue things about movies :D

I couldn't believe there was such a movie…Gordie… Wow, a babe knock off. I knew Disney was shit, but that shit?

Love this review:
Author: ross robinson from england

Gordy was a fantastic movie when i watched it. I thought that babe was better. This movie was a similar type to Babe, but this one was a Disney movie as Babe was Universal. Gordy is a Cowboy movie style. i give this movie 10 out of 10.
From now on I'm going top watch whatever “ross” reccomends…

-I'm obviously just being silly there, he peobably isn't that bad. I'm sure Ross's taste is fine and unique.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
Ian Jay at 6:57PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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ccs1989
Kung Pow was a funny movie! It was very…something.


Anyway, worst movie? I really thought Madagascar was pretty bad, which I saw while on an airplane. But I dunno…there's probably a worse one. I don't watch many movies though.

Hey, weird! I saw Madagascar on a plane, too! And I thought it sucked, too! Were you traveling on a Hawaiian Airlines flight to Phoenix out of Honolulu sometime last August? We could have been on the same freakin' plane! Too bizarre.

My dad has terrible tastes in movies– he still thinks that, tastewise, my sister and I are about four and seven (respectively). He recently rented a movie called Funky Monkey because he thought we would like it. A synopsis of the plot follows: There's this chimp who's been trained by a quite obviously evil corporation to be America's next weapon in the War Against Terror, or some kind of war. Anyways, the chimp gets away and meets up with this rogue CIA agent, who becomes his keeper (sort of). The chimp also befriends a young kid who wants to get the attention of some generic cheerleader chick at school. The monkey foils the evil corporation, gets in a fistfight with Gilbert Gottfried (a mainstay in crappy movies like these), and wins the high school football championship. All in the same night. It's the sort of movie that makes you want to give up hope on the creative output of humanity altogether. My dad sure liked it, though.

~IJ

PS: Worst movie that everyone says is good: The Fifth Element. I mean, I know that it had innovative effects and everything, but did anyone find the characters as revolting and unlikable as I did? I mean, come on, Bruce Willis! Every time you open your mouth, something stupid comes out! And whoever played that Ruby Rod guy deserves a crack upside the mouth (I think it was Chris Tucker, though I'm not sure). And does every piece of clothing in the future have to look so stupid and unpractical? I implore you.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:56PM
SpANG at 7:48PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie


hands.. down….. :x

I taste bile just saying it.


Oh, and The Fith Element sucked, too.

.: SpANG! :.
“To a rational mind, nothing is inexplicable. Only unexplained.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:51PM
billyleake at 9:26PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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The Fifth Element? Madagascar?? C'mon now, I can think of way worse than that:

Movies that make me want to kill myself:

Million Dollar Baby–Sad, depressing, worthless crap.

The Blair Witch Project–I saw this horrid piece of tripe in the theatre. I really wish now that I hadn't.

Signs, The Village or anything that M. Night Shalamalamalamalan will make in the near future.

I could compile a whole list of 80's movies but I don't want this post to exceed some kind of character limit or something. HA!
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:22AM
Ronin at 9:34PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Anything with Ben Stiller in it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:10PM
Black_Kitty at 9:39PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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Jackass the Movie.

My friends thought it was hilarious but I don't find people hurting themselves that particularly funny. :?

.: Black Kitty :.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:23AM
Mike_G at 9:59PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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I don't make a habit of watching movies I'm pretty sure I won't like, sooo…I'm sure there are worse ones than this, but;

I had a problem with Dragon Slayer, the one with Peter MacNicol. Just seemed that is was a half decent broadway play that was made into a movie…using the same props. What bugged me most I think was that it had potential that was horribly wasted…
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Mike_G at 10:01PM, Jan. 16, 2006
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..Omg 5th Element rulez!!!


<_<—>_>
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
ozoneocean at 8:50AM, Jan. 17, 2006
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There's nothing funny to me about Jackass…
But 5th element.. Come one guys! The story was bad. The dialogue sucked, Mila Jovich (?) was a crap actor, Bruce was just average (but then so is every big name star), Gary Oldman was very disappointing but I liked his accent.
But the costumes were BRILLIANT! John Pal Gautier did a fab job on them. All were lovely. The sets, props and effects weren't bad either and I thought the soundtrack was great.

Here's another: Showgirls
I think that one's had a lot of bad press based mainly on the nudity, the STUPID premise, and the foul language. But to say the acting was bad is pushing it. I'd defy ANY actor in the history of acting to try and make Showgirls into a decent film.
Personally I thought the acting and the cinematography were the most decent things about the film. All blame for a shocker lies squarely at the feet of the terrible writer (whoever it was) and the horrible direction by that stuck-up Paul Verhoeven.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
ccs1989 at 12:58PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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Ian Jay
Hey, weird! I saw Madagascar on a plane, too! And I thought it sucked, too! Were you traveling on a Hawaiian Airlines flight to Phoenix out of Honolulu sometime last August? We could have been on the same freakin' plane! Too bizarre.


Actually I saw the movie on a flight either to or from…probably to, Norway last summer. I guess all the airlines play the same crappy movies in August.

Anyway the Fifth Element…geez. I saw that movie when I was fairly young because my cousin was a huge Bruce Willis fan. I can't remeber much of it except that some giant ball of evil energy was eating planets and ONLY THE 5TH ELEMENT (which was the power of love…geezus christ) could stop it!

I know it involved Mr. Willis putting the various ‘elements’ (and whoever has taken a rudimentary science course knows that fire and water are NOT elements) on pillars and then standing in the center with his girlfriend and shooting a beam of light into the sky to deflect the evil…thing.

Wow. Now that's there is some quality story line. When the end of the world is about to occur I think I'll do the same thing! I'm sure it will totally work!
http://ccs1989.deviantart.com

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:37AM
Hawk at 2:32PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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ozoneocean
Gary Oldman was very disappointing but I liked his accent.

Gary Oldman was Ross Perot with a bad haircut.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM
Anonymous at 3:02PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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and whoever has taken a rudimentary science course knows that fire and water are NOT elements

And anyone with a rudimentary understanding of philosophy or ancient religions knows that they are. Although according to Western philosophies adapted by the Greeks and adopted by the early Christians, there was already a fifth element (ether).
last edited on July 14, 2011 10:53AM
Mike_G at 3:41PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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Although according to Western philosophies adapted by the Greeks and adopted by the early Christians, there was already a fifth element (ether).

I like that. One way of thinking would be that the ‘ether’ is where emotions and thought occur. Love, hate, sadness, elation, both simple(instinctive and instant) and complex(planned and premeditated)…kinda brings the whole thing into perspective…

I know, this oughta be in the debate forum, just wanted to comment :>

(edit:) To be fair, I liked Fifth Element more for the action and dialogue than for the philosophy behind it. You…come on, admit it, lots of it was pretty fun and funny :)
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:01PM
Black_Kitty at 7:08PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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Jadedwinter71
are you insulting my life style >_<

That depends. Do you snort wasabi up your nose in your spare time? :)

Another not so great movie…Scary Movies. It's not the worst movie and I think it started out pretty amusing but it just got stupid later. I mean, there's only so many sex and penis jokes you can make before it just becomes stupid. At least to me. :S

.: Black Kitty :.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:23AM
spambot at 7:13PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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Batman and Robin

I'm also doing that other comic "Space Waffles".
We now have a podcast called The Random Pirate Comics Show!
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:50PM
ozoneocean at 9:56PM, Jan. 17, 2006
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Hawk
ozoneocean
Gary Oldman was very disappointing but I liked his accent.

Gary Oldman was Ross Perot with a bad haircut.
How about Ross Perot with a worse haircut? Ross isn't exactly a hair model… :lol:

I know another bad movie… “Dancer in the Dark”. The acting was fine, Bjork was ok, I loved the music, the “dogma” style of filming (hand held cameras, no lighting, no efx etc.) was perfectly ok, the story was just passable…. What made it a bad film was the tragedy upon tragedy piled up over and over: At a certain point it losses its affect and just becomes funny.

And so Von Trier's musical film about the terrible tragedy and injustice suffered by a poor blind Czech immigrant single mother who's wrongly executed (blah blah), ends up seeming silly..

I had the same thing with the realist Italian drama “The son's room”. At a certain point you just stop caring for the character and think “you stupid fucking loser”, then every extra bad thing that happens makes you burst out laughing.
Tragedy turns to comedy :cry: = :lol:

…Like a horror movie that’s too gross to be horrible. Anyone ever find that?
(I hate horror)
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
CORY at 9:12AM, Jan. 18, 2006
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spambot
Batman and Robin

I swear I was JUST going to say that.

They LITERALLY Ran, then rewound a drowning scene IN THE MOVIE. Robin went up, shook his head back and forth, spraying water everywhere. THEN the rewound the scene, and the water was visibly bought back in WITH HIM.

Oh, and who can forget the line: “I love a man with an anatomically correct suit.”

The guy had nipples on his suit for christ's sake. NIPPLES.
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:46AM
SpANG at 10:21AM, Jan. 18, 2006
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No movie mentioned was worse that what I mentioned. Every one that was mentioned had at least some redemeing qualities.

I stand by my last satement:

SpANG!
Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie


hands.. down….. :x

I taste bile just saying it.

.: SpANG! :.
“To a rational mind, nothing is inexplicable. Only unexplained.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:51PM
ccs1989 at 12:27PM, Jan. 18, 2006
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Isukun not logged in
and whoever has taken a rudimentary science course knows that fire and water are NOT elements

And anyone with a rudimentary understanding of philosophy or ancient religions knows that they are. Although according to Western philosophies adapted by the Greeks and adopted by the early Christians, there was already a fifth element (ether).

'Elements' in the philisophical form of the word, but not actual elements. They were the kind of elements alchemists would tend to talk about, and if that movie took place in the future it wouldn't have made much sense for them to still call them ‘elements’.

I had the same thing with the realist Italian drama “The son's room”. At a certain point you just stop caring for the character and think “you stupid fucking loser”, then every extra bad thing that happens makes you burst out laughing.

Huh. See that's exactly what happened to me when watching the anime ‘Evangelion’. It's like…why should I care for these characters?

Which brings me to my next point. If they ever do make an Evangelion movie which IS in production than it will be the worst movie I've ever not seen. I mean, the series Evangelion was bad enough but a movie would be worse.
http://ccs1989.deviantart.com

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:37AM
isukun at 7:40PM, Jan. 18, 2006
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I like that. One way of thinking would be that the ‘ether’ is where emotions and thought occur. Love, hate, sadness, elation, both simple(instinctive and instant) and complex(planned and premeditated)…kinda brings the whole thing into perspective…

Not really. Each element had its own associated personality type or emotion. People may find it kind of corny, but ether actually is, in fact, associated with love. The other four, however, were manifested physically, not through their associated emotions or personality types. Physically, ether is the medium in which the other elements can manifest themselves.

'Elements' in the philisophical form of the word, but not actual elements. They were the kind of elements alchemists would tend to talk about, and if that movie took place in the future it wouldn't have made much sense for them to still call them ‘elements’.

We still call them elements today and if you go by the movie, the elements were defined in the distant past. Although the movie took place in the future in a sci fi universe, there was nothing scientific about the five elements or the evil they were meant to combat. That's like bitching about the Lord of the Rings because Gandalf doesn't follow the laws of physics.

If they ever do make an Evangelion movie which IS in production than it will be the worst movie I've ever not seen.

Actually it's not in production. They have yet to track down the funding for the film. Plus from the sound of it, the script may really suck. They obviously aren't catering to the fans or in any way making the movie like the anime. They're even changing the names and the setting to keep it mainstream and making it into more of an action film and less character driven. I always hated the characters in Eva, but I had to give them credit for making a series where the action was secondary to the people.

.: isukun :.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:03PM
Kota at 7:09AM, Jan. 19, 2006
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Ian Jay
PS: Worst movie that everyone says is good: The Fifth Element. I mean, I know that it had innovative effects and everything, but did anyone find the characters as revolting and unlikable as I did? I mean, come on, Bruce Willis! Every time you open your mouth, something stupid comes out! And whoever played that Ruby Rod guy deserves a crack upside the mouth (I think it was Chris Tucker, though I'm not sure). And does every piece of clothing in the future have to look so stupid and unpractical? I implore you.

I have seen the Fifth Element over a hundred times with my friends. You and I are now mortal enemies in the realm of cinema. No offense, but we will meet on the field of battle.

Edit: I think the fifth element was supposed to be “poon”.

AND back on topic. Worst movie ever made? Some say Monser A-Go-Go. Others mention “Manos”: the Hands of Fate in hushed whispers, but I have seen the true horror. The film that should not be. I have seen “Feeders”. If you have no idea what I'm talking about count yourself lucky.
Kota Otan
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and
http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Errant_Apprentice/
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“If Jeff Bridges is stupid enough to do this, I'M stupid enough to do this!”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:21PM
ccs1989 at 4:24PM, Jan. 19, 2006
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Kota
ccs1989
PS: Worst movie that everyone says is good: The Fifth Element. I mean, I know that it had innovative effects and everything, but did anyone find the characters as revolting and unlikable as I did? I mean, come on, Bruce Willis! Every time you open your mouth, something stupid comes out! And whoever played that Ruby Rod guy deserves a crack upside the mouth (I think it was Chris Tucker, though I'm not sure). And does every piece of clothing in the future have to look so stupid and unpractical? I implore you.


Er…something's wrong with your quote tab there. That's Ian's quote.
http://ccs1989.deviantart.com

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:37AM
Kota at 5:20PM, Jan. 19, 2006
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Fixed.
Kota Otan
http://www.drunkduck.com/Mailbox_Rocketship/
and
http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Errant_Apprentice/
-
“If Jeff Bridges is stupid enough to do this, I'M stupid enough to do this!”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:21PM
Ian Jay at 5:10PM, Jan. 21, 2006
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Mr. Neil
Worst movie ever: Dude Where's My Car

I had NEVER walked out of a movie before seeing that film. And I really tried to. I gave it a solid 25 minutes, and I just couldn't take it.

Of what I saw, the story was just way too nonsensical, even for comedy standards. The two dimwits are pizza delivery boys. Their boss comes over and bitches at them for not delivering pizzas and then threatens to fire them if they ate the pizzas. Why wouldn't he just fire them for not delivering the pizzas?

And while I was sitting there watching this trainwreck, I kept wondering how long it was going to take them to get to the point of the story. They lost their car and… and… they go around looking for it. It slowly dawned on me that this was going to be the entire movie, and so I got up and left.

Agreed!

~IJ
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:56PM
Mazoo at 5:32PM, Jan. 21, 2006
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You know what's really sad?

They made a sequal of it.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
Hawk at 8:37PM, Jan. 21, 2006
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Mazoo
You know what's really sad?

They made a sequal of it.

What was it called, "Dude, Where's My Car This Time"?

I'll admit I never saw the original. I could smell a stinker in advance when I looked at that one.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM

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