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Worst Movie ever?
Mazoo at 8:48PM, Jan. 21, 2006
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Hawk
Mazoo
You know what's really sad?

They made a sequal of it.

What was it called, "Dude, Where's My Car This Time"?

I'll admit I never saw the original. I could smell a stinker in advance when I looked at that one.

Nope, they weren't that original.

It was… and you could never see this one coming… "Dude, Where's My Car 2?"
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
ozoneocean at 9:11PM, Jan. 21, 2006
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What was the bit where they had tattoos done? It was the stupidest joke, but they milked it and milked it and milked it…
-trouble is, you can't get milk out of a bull.

That sums up the whole film, which I did indeed see, all the way through. How I accomplished that I still don't understand.

Worst scene in a film: Legolass surfing down the steps of the castle wall on his shield, shooting Orks as he went; Lord of the rings 2.
I still haven't seen the 3rd movie because of that atrocity.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
ozoneocean at 11:16PM, Jan. 21, 2006
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Heh heh, Fully intended that joke, it's an old one. :-D
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
jalford at 1:24PM, Jan. 22, 2006
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Pretty much any movie where guys are dressed as women is a pure piece of cinematic $#!+.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:06PM
Ian Jay at 5:04PM, Jan. 22, 2006
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jalford
Pretty much any movie where guys are dressed as women is a pure piece of cinematic $#!+.

I don't know… Monty Python's The Meaning of Life was good…

~IJ
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:56PM
SpANG at 5:07PM, Jan. 22, 2006
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jalford
Pretty much any movie where guys are dressed as women is a pure piece of cinematic $#!+.

Tootsie is funny as hell! :lol:

.: SpANG! :.
“To a rational mind, nothing is inexplicable. Only unexplained.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:51PM
Hawk at 6:57PM, Jan. 22, 2006
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ozoneocean
I still haven't seen the 3rd movie because of that atrocity.

That's actually kind of sad…. though, I'm guessing you weren't much of a fan of the first two anyway. Otherwise it's worth looking beyond that ridiculous scene. (I thought it was lame myself, but like the movies as a whole).

A similar stupid scene:
In Jurassic Park 2, that dopey little girl–who was previously scared out of her mind–jumps onto some piping in a building and does an acrobatic gymnastics uneven-bar routine that ends with her her kicking a conventiently placed velociraptor out the window.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM
ozoneocean at 7:47PM, Jan. 22, 2006
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Ah, well I thought the first movie was quite good actually, really faithful to the book (mostly) and it looked lovely (although it was limited in that it only seemed to follow a single artist's vision of what middle earth should look like).
The second film had more crap in it than that one scene though… It just wasn't quite as bad.
-I remember all the lovey dovey piney dreamy soppy sappy pappy crappy fluffy bits between Aaaaaaaaragorn (too many ‘A’s) and his sweetheart, and whoever else it was who had a relationship there. A wonderful touch of Hollywood cliché to brighten up a classic story. NOT.
Tolkien's writing may be a bit stuffy and sexless, but that's just how it is. Sexing it up is just sad.

Ahhh, Jurassic Park… Not a bad film, but not a good one either. Crichton is an idiot and a plagiarist, Spielberg is a highly skilled man, but can't stay away from stories like that for some reason.

Mrs Doubtfire was funny enough for a cross dressing comedy.

-edit- new worst movie: Almost famous. I just hated it and I don't know why. It had me wanting to crawl out of my skin. Maybe Cameron Crowe put a Hex on me? :D
Maybe it's because it was trying to be a nice, easy going semi biopic set in the 70's but it was actually sticking RIGIDLY to the Hollywood formula and all the sexiness and adult themes that were surely an INTEGRAL part of such a story had been viciously sawed of and the gushing stubs cauterised with primitive puritanical fervour…
That movie was an emasculated Ken Doll… An unnatural eunuch. The kind of freak that makes you question your sanity.
 
last edited on July 14, 2011 2:23PM
jalford at 11:46PM, Jan. 22, 2006
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If we're on Crighton, then Congo was one of the worst! Makes King Kong Lives look like the new King Kong.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:06PM
tails at 5:11PM, Feb. 5, 2006
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HAH! I can name worse movies than all of these put together!

The Stupids
Miss Congeniality (1 and 2)
Dirty Dancing (Havannah Nights and Regular)

I Know What You Did Last Summer

And the dreaded sequal, I Still Know What You did Last Summer
*shudders*

There was also a movie where ladies dress up as men in drag to escape the mafia, I think it was called Bonnie and Clyde. That was ultra-lame, like The Stupids

I like the Scary Movies, however, those are funny. :D
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:06PM
Thevampire_kain01 at 4:05AM, Feb. 6, 2006
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meh i think most movies suck ecept for were all the ppl die in it except for one person, kind of like “jeepers creepers 1”
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
Mazoo at 6:29PM, Feb. 6, 2006
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Hawk
What was it called, "Dude, Where's My Car This Time"?

Mazoo
It was… and you could never see this one coming… "Dude, Where's My Car 2?"

Both of you are wrong. The name is “Seriously, Dude, Where's My Car?”

Oh, I suppose I was. Originality like that totally loses me.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
Thevampire_kain01 at 4:04AM, Feb. 7, 2006
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I got ANOTHER stupid movie for you……. “Scary movie”, “scary movie 2” “scary movie 3”, and the new one “date movie”.
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:28PM
tails at 2:56PM, Feb. 7, 2006
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Thevampire_kain01
I got ANOTHER stupid movie for you……. “Scary movie”, “scary movie 2” “scary movie 3”, and the new one “date movie”.
Why would you say that about Date Movie–IT'S NOT EVEN OUT YET! :smt088 my friends and I are going to see that soon!!!!!!! It sounds so cool
last edited on July 14, 2011 4:06PM
mechanical_lullaby at 11:04AM, Feb. 18, 2006
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Dungeons and Dragons… yes… horrible.

The Fifth Element…. it did have all of those flaws and I couldn't stand Tucker's character either. Inspite of itself, though, I liked it.(notice how i didn't say it was good… eh… eh)

Another one is a movie(I have no idea what it's called and I have no idea why I watched it til the end.) about some guy trying to buy some condoms so he can have sex with this girl… and that's what the entire movie revolves around. One of them everything-goes-wrong flicks, but everything does go wrong in a way that will make you physically sick. Maybe 20+ misadventures happen.

The Day After Tomorrow. Ugh… the scene I found most worthwhile was the tornado scene. After that… they get rescued? What? I mean, that's just a boring ending. What's with the wolves surviving? That's a plothole.
The least they could have done was eat eachother.

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
ccs1989 at 11:06AM, Feb. 18, 2006
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Yeah, The Day After Tomorrow was way overrated.
http://ccs1989.deviantart.com

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:37AM
jalford at 11:30AM, Feb. 18, 2006
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The dumbest scene of all was the Mexican janitor whose the only one on the whole skyscraper who survives. After he opened up the door to see that half the building had been torn off, he should've said, “So…can I just punch out for the rest of the day?”
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:06PM
mechanical_lullaby at 11:32AM, Feb. 18, 2006
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jalford
The dumbest scene of all was the Mexican janitor whose the only one on the whole skyscraper who survives. After he opened up the door to see that half the building had been torn off, he should've said, “So…can I just punch out for the rest of the day?”

indeed. that would have made my day.

unfortunately they even brutalized that by making him solemn and attempting to be dramatic.

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
Hawk at 3:49PM, Feb. 18, 2006
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You know what's funny, though? I've seen a lot of movies named in this thread that have SOME redeeming values. You guys aren't thinking awful enough.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM
SpANG at 4:36PM, Feb. 18, 2006
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GARBAGE


PAIL


KIDS!



0% redeeming value.

.: SpANG! :.
“To a rational mind, nothing is inexplicable. Only unexplained.”
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:51PM
mechanical_lullaby at 6:10PM, Feb. 18, 2006
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Son of the Mask

last edited on July 14, 2011 1:56PM
Inkmonkey at 7:22PM, Feb. 18, 2006
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Worst movie ever? Okay, this one takes a little explaining…

My friend Sean has a netflix account, and he loves stop-motion animation. While perusing some stop-motion netflix stuff, he came across Alice in Wonderland. Apparently a… I believe it was Norwegian film group, decided to make Alice in Wonderland wherein the Wonder part (talking animals, cards, etc.) was all done in stop-motion. Sounds interesting, right?

Well, another thing to keep in mind is that all the stop-motion creatures were taxidermied animals. That's right, we watched Scary Dead Animal Alice in Wonderland. And that's not even the worst part; the pacing was horrible. All the dialogue was done by a voice-over from the little girl playing Alice. Like, say, the White Rabbit (who was literally a taxidermied rabbit, even in the context of the movie. The opening scene was him unnailing himself from the case he was displayed in) said “I'm late for a very important date!” Well, instead of hiring an actor for the rabbit, they just had the girl say it, then did a quick cut to an extreme closeup of her mouth, then she would say, “Said the White Rabbit.” Which wouldn't be so bad, but they did it Every Goddamn Time one of the freaky monster-puppets said anything.

Oh, and to make things more interesting, she ate a doorknob.

Let me repeat that. She, being Alice, ate, as in ingested, a Fucking Doorknob.

The scene with the caterpillar was altered, since they couldn't very well get a taxidermied caterpillar to animate. So instead it was a sock. And it was in a room full of socks that tried to steal Alice's socks.

Anyway, apparently they don't have mushrooms in Norway (or whatever God-forsaken country produced this film), so the “caterpillar” sat on top of a doorknob. If you recall, the mushroom was key to Alice changing size in the original story, and she just had to eat some of it. The movie, however, being retarded and all, didn't bother to change that detail and she just ate the damn doorknob.

Now, here's what worries me about stories like this. First of all, this wasn't a bunch of kids screwing around with a camcorder; this was a movie with a crew and a budget. A crew of animators spent weeks; maybe months, animating dead animals in funny outfits. Surely they weren't looking at this and saying, “Well, this is some fine cinematography we're creating. I'm so glad we have a chance to work on Scary Foreign Alice in Wonderland.” Then, after producing this movie, someone thought it was a good idea to release it. Then, after releasing it, another group thought it would be a good idea to translate it into English, then to offer it on Netflix.

It's just a horrible trail of madness that leads to a small Norwegian girl eating a doorknob.




Oh, and just as an aside, I loved Fifth Element.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:59PM
Squeegee at 8:25PM, Feb. 18, 2006
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Land of the Dead. George A. Romero is just getting lazy. And somewhat senile.

Thinking zombies. Psshaw.
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:54PM
Hawk at 10:31AM, Feb. 19, 2006
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Inkmonkey
Apparently a… I believe it was Norwegian film group, decided to make Alice in Wonderland wherein the Wonder part (talking animals, cards, etc.) was all done in stop-motion. Sounds interesting, right?

Oh.

dear.

goodness.

me.

I've been forced to watch that movie TWICE now. Once by an art teacher who thought it was profound, and once by an animation history teacher who thought it was important. I think they're both wrong.

The movie was not just incredibly LONG, but the entire time it made you feel UNCOMFORTABLE. The disturbing imagery and unnatural motion of all the characters makes you squirm. I tried my hardest to fall asleep the second time I watched it, but the noise level and “said the white rabbit” would jar me from any kind of rest I was getting.

It was pure torcher.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:45PM
jalford at 1:07PM, Feb. 19, 2006
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mechanical_lullaby
Son of the Mask

Oh F— yes! Jeezus, that movie was about 10 years too late for anyone to give a crap about a non-Jim Carrey reprise. Then again, Jim Carrey himself has been getting worse with each movie he's done. Where do you go once you've played God? It's not like George Burns did any other roles after doing the Almighty.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:06PM
Inkmonkey at 9:00PM, Feb. 19, 2006
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Hawk
I've been forced to watch that movie TWICE now. Once by an art teacher who thought it was profound, and once by an animation history teacher who thought it was important. I think they're both wrong.


Good God, man, that sounds terrifying. Hell, I only watched it past the first thirty minutes as a sort of self-inflicted “Test of Courage”. I just wanted to be able to proclaim that I survived the movie.
last edited on July 14, 2011 12:59PM
remag at 9:17PM, Feb. 19, 2006
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you enter a dank dungon, the smell of old popcorn and soda fills the air.
out of noware a ninja attacks … quick do a saving role…. 6 you get captured
and now must watch……DA DA DAAAA


D&D wath of the dragon god


its on dvd rent it if you dare but be warned you won't be the same afterwards
last edited on July 14, 2011 3:04PM
jalford at 1:13AM, Feb. 20, 2006
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The recent Pink Panther remake was a pretty ripe slice of hell too. If they wanted to do a remake of that nowadays and do it any justice, get a European guy to do Clouseau. Rowan “Mr. Bean” Atkinson would've been a decent choice.
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:06PM
Crazy Dutchman at 9:50AM, Feb. 20, 2006
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Er, I don't know if I get spanked for saying this, but I find The Blair Witch Project and Almost famous ectualy great movies!

Signs, The Village and Jackass the Movie weren't bad either.

No people, movies that REALLY suck are:
01. Grease
02. Problem Child 3
03. Problem Child 2
04. Problem Child
05. Spice World
06. The Last Producer
07. Smilla's Sense of Snow
08. Lost Souls
09. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000
10. I Spy

And I agree on Batman & Robin!
last edited on July 14, 2011 11:47AM
korosu at 10:33AM, Feb. 20, 2006
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It's really hard to say what I think the worst movie ever was, but Dungeons and Dragons was pretty bad, as well as the Super Mario Brs. movie. Lord, that was shameful.

Garbage Pail Kids was made into a movie?? Wow, where have I been?
last edited on July 14, 2011 1:20PM

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