Being a father and husband things have changed quite a bit in my life. There were dreams I had when I was younger that I was so gung-ho about but as things change in life so do dreams and goals. So it got me thinking.

What have I given up on to pursue other dreams and goals?

I would say now that having a child has changed life so much and what is important to me. But I have always dreamed of being a stand up comedian and a comic book artist. I have always dreamed of having a family and a child as well. With having a child and spouse I would never give them up for anything. And being a stand-up comedian would certainly keep me away from them, so at this time I would give that up to pursue raising a child, which is a whole lot of fun by the way, and my relationship with my wife.

So what dream would you give up to fulfil another dream? Have you had to do this? Why did you choose one over the other? Have you regretted any of it? Share your personal stories…

NEVER and I repeat NEVER let anything get between you and your daughter… Trust me, I did, and you could never Imagine the level of pain and angst I face EVERY SINGLE day because of it….

I have given up on a lot of dreams of mine, but its always been for one reason…. Love…
Love is a ruthless bitch, and can drag you through the worst times of your life if you're not careful… Love is what caused me to be homeless, which in turn forced me to join the army to better myself, which in turn caused me to be shot…

But at the same time I do not fear it, for without love, I would be a VERY cold and bitter man, and you of all people know I strive to remain lighthearted, Midge…

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that you will give up on a lot of dreams and aspirations for love, and no lost love could be more heart wrenching and painful as the love of a father and child… Trust me…

One day I was being bombarded with questions about my future plans by my uncle. This was a few years back so I still had time to name off the typical post-college list. The Peace Corps was one of them. My uncle then said, “Oh, I was accepted into the Peace Corps right after college.” I asked him really excitedly, “REALLY!? What country were you stationed in?” He replied, “I didn't go. I met your Aunt. What was I going to do about it?” (He ended up marrying my aunt soon after and they had two successful children.)

That conversation opened up my eyes that the plans I make for the future can all change in one instant. Sure, I've had a constant list of my goals from the start, but I keep an open mind that plans can change because life is full of surprises.

It's funny how the world works out sometimes… it's just the people we meet and the people who we connect with that make this world a whole lot more interesting.

And in the case that I fall into the same story as my parents or my uncle, I would willingly alter my future plans in a second.

No. There is no compromise. I would only give up on a dream if the other dream that was to be fulfilled was equal or better than the dream I had to give up.

notlikelytocare
I have given up on a lot of dreams of mine, but its always been for one reason…. Love…

GAH damn love.

Before I met my boyfriend Mark last year I also had dreams of travel. I've basically lived in San Diego my whole life. I went to elementary/middle/high school there and now I am even attending college at UCSD. As a writer, and just as a sheltered person who needs to grow up and see the world I have dreamed of travelling and moving from SD. I've thought of moving to LA or to NY. Or even spending years or months in Europe. I would really like to visit Spain, Italy, or Britain… or even Japan, Australia, Thailand, ANYWHERE.

So I was dead set on travelling abroad during my time at UCSD. And after graduating I was thinking of moving to LA or maybe even NY. But that was before I met Mark.

I don't believe in long distance relationships, I think they cause too much drama and in the end don't work for most people. I've seen a lot of relationships shatter because friends of mine went abroad or went to a school that's far away from their boyfriends/girlfriends.

So now that I have found Mark, who I strongly believe is the love of my life, I don't want to throw in any obstacles that could hurt our relationship or eventually seperate us. That's why instead of travelling abroad for a long period of time I am trying to compromise by trying to find programs that only send me out for a month. I won't get the same experience I have been dreaming of, but at the same time how why would I risk giving up someone I love just to travel.

It's hard to find someone who is just right for you. Sure I might not be able to see all these places while I am young like I hope, but perhaps later on down the line I can travel later on. I might be older, but at least I'll have my lover by my side and he could enjoy the trips with me. (Mark can't travel with me now because he is still finishing up school and is in the reserves so I have to wait for him to finish that stuff up).

My dream with him has out-wieghed my dreams of travel…for now :O

You don't have to give up any of those things for your daughter. Because she'll grow up and move out in what, 15-16 years? Basically in the lifetime of a pet, she'll be gone from your everyday life. Then you can do whatever the heck it was that you wanted to do.

And seeing as how what you want to do seems to have no obvious age limitations, it's all good to wait a bit.

mlai
You don't have to give up any of those things for your daughter. Because she'll grow up and move out in what, 15-16 years? Basically in the lifetime of a pet, she'll be gone from your everyday life. Then you can do whatever the heck it was that you wanted to do.

And seeing as how what you want to do seems to have no obvious age limitations, it's all good to wait a bit.

TheMidge28
And being a stand-up comedian would certainly keep me away from them, so at this time I would give that up to pursue raising a child, which is a whole lot of fun by the way, and my relationship with my wife.

;) maybe not completly given up on!

So what about you, mlai? Any dreams you have let go of to pursue something else?

I went the other way of the poeple here. I gave up on seeing somone i cared about so i could go and do art in uni.

Though the last year have been ‘differcult’ i can't say i regret my desision, met a lot of good friends and learn a bit about myself that i wouldn't have if i was ware i was know. The only thing i regret is that he was so untrusting that he could make a compermise.

Unless you are a very one-dimensional person (a single dream?), you have to make sacrifices – or at least put some things off for later. As for me? All I ever did in high school and college was study, and I was pretty academically successful. Got my degrees, made useful contacts with teachers and professors, etc. But I've never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone or really anything as far as personal relationships. Not yet anyway. I still like to think there's a chance I'll be able to experience romance or have a family someday, but I chose my priorities – and honestly, I have plenty of time. (Yay for being in my 20s and unattached! lol)

I think most people have enough years on this planet to pursue several dreams. Maybe not all at once, but I don't think I'd want to try that anyway. You'd have nothing to do with the last half/third/quarter of your life if you could accomplish everything while you were young.

marine
Dreams are for losers. I'm on the internet, we've given up on our dreams years ago. Sure we all want big money and fancy prizes, but how many of us actually get that? Even the guys who are “successful” at the comic stuff around here aren't that successful really.

not all dreams are pursued for money and fame…

Well… I wouldn't put it in such dramatic terms as trading one dream for another, but part of the reason why all my artistic endeavors (comics and music) are relegated to hobby status is because I have a dayjob that I actually enjoy and that pays decently. I consider myself very lucky to be one of the people who like their job and find it fulfilling, and I would be an idiot to jeopardize that. So my band will never tour and I'll never draw a monthly comic book because it just isn't possible.

That said, I do hope to get a comic published in some form one day, there's just only so much time I can devote to it unless it pays at least part of the bills, which I find pretty unlikely. I'm just too old to play the starving artist now, and everybody knows there's no money in comics unless you're Jim Lee.

I've still got the same dreams that i've always had so its not really a problem for me

I've given up on old dreams.

I use to dream that I'd be a successful animator or illustrator or writer…

So I tried getting into animation school (lol tried at least 5 times but just wont take me cuz my art just teh suxxor). But I really cant spend time to pursue animation as a career… cuz I had to find a job due to strained family relations (carrot and stick politics is the way to deal with em!).

But hey. At least I was relieved to see lots of FUGs (Frustrated University Graduates… ya know… spend $20k or more on university) at work making the money that a HS graduate would make.

And if you are fixated too much on a dream, once it wont become a reality, you are in for a big big painful heartbreak.

So therefore it is best to keep your options open.

That way… if I lose my job today, I can be back in the workforce in a matter of days or weeks. :)

I just realized there was a dream I gave up, I guess. I never thought of it that way, since I tend to just go with the winds of fate, and it honestly took me no time to accept it. I wanted to be an exotics veterinarian. I was smart enough. I has my BS – graduated Magnum Cum Laude. I had experience in a vet clinic. I shelled out the $$$ and spent months filling out insanely long applications to vet schools. They were supposed to let you know if you were rejected early on, but those with interviews would hear later. I didn't hear from them. Actually I heard nothing at all until the midst of when they were actually holding interviews. Eventually, I got my rejection letters. I didn't even get an interview. All I could think was it was high competition. Then I extrapolated to thinking high competition school leads to high competition job market, and while I know I can do the job, do I want that type of life?

It's funny because I was already questioning it a few months before I was rejected. Moving to a new state, the price of life when I get there, tuition, stress levels. I thought how difficult the whole thing would be, but if I did get accepted, I could make it work somehow.

Also, while waiting to hear from vet school, I was taking some graduate courses, and I met a professor that got me insanely enthusiastic about conservation and field biology and instilled in my a pride in my home state and its biodiversity. (This was a complete turnaround. When I was young, I defined success as the distance I could put between myself and my hometown.) So I wrote a beautiful essay and got into the masters program at my alma mater – with him as my adviser, and my school gave me a teaching job and waived my tuition, a better deal than vet school, imo… I found a new career dream (actually a few alternate ones). I have a vision of beginning and running a natural history museum locally. We don't have one – not in the whole state. I was stunned to find that I have more supporters than discouragers.

So, I guess sometimes there are necessary dream replacements, but it doesn't hurt to try. I wish I had all that money back from the application process, but I don't really regret giving it a try.

All my dreams involved me being a quadrillionare and doing things like building a fully functional full sized replica battleship and going pirating around the pacific with a crew of sexy female sailors, or buying up farmland with giant rocky hills on it and constructing an underground base/mansion beneath it with a small castle aboveground, and staffing it with sexy women who would patrol the perimeter with tanks… and so on.

Pretty much the life of a Bond Super-villain I suppose… lol!
But since they all involve me being a squillionare to start with and all I'm good at is art, I'm afraid one doesn't lead into the other and I slowly realised that. :(

So, My dream for a while has been to live free, live easy, and live without hassle, enjoying what I want from life and doing what I enjoy. So far I'm managing that pretty well.

I don't like to look too far into the future. That way if I run into something I can deal with it with no problem. I do want to be an artist, I would like to join the armed forces but I don't have anything planned between or after. My way of thinking has holes in it but that makes it interesting.