Sex Horoscopes

tea_green at 12:23PM, Feb. 11, 2007
posts: 294
joined: 6-23-2006

You're one of the most confused signs on the planet. Your sign is pretty realistic, you're a “no frills” guy or gal. You love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky but because of hygienic reasons. You're big into sanitary issues.

You have to arrange time in your busy schedule to have sex and when a reservation is made your lover damn sure better be there on time, if not, early. With flowers. And clean.

You Virgos want to make your partner happy and that's that…usually. There are some freaky Virgos out there but not many (I know you're out there). Nonetheless, you'll do your darnedest to make your partner cum and if you can't you will buy them someone or something that will. Yup, you read that right. Someone. This sign of the virgin is a strong advocate of prostitution.

Missionary is your big thing. Most people think you Virgos have more kink but that's about it. Except maybe when you occasionally try spanking or bondage to see what will happen. You live to masturbate. Whether it's someone rubbing you, or you rubbing someone else, or them rubbing against your pimpin' fox fur coat, whatever…it's all good. You'll do naughty things just to get punished. You're perfect for Aries, who's always wants to punish somebody.

Pretend rape scenes also tend to get you Virgins going. Try watching something like the carnival rape scene in Henry and June. I heard this was a Virgo wet-dream. Also, it's been said that Virgos like camel-toes…what's up with that?

…With that crazy imagination of his, Sherlock Holmes was probably a Virgo…or a repressed Gemini.

To sum it all up, you're an earth sign that's respectable and caring. Your kissing style is erotic and your sex style is mutual masturbation. Your best sex partners are Geminis, Cancers, and Aquarians.

last edited on July 18, 2011 10:31AM
Emerald at 3:01AM, Feb. 24, 2007
posts: 2
joined: 7-22-2006
So, So me.
Except I don't like being punished. =/
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:31AM
sterlinganon at 5:18PM, Aug. 19, 2007
posts: 1
joined: 7-28-2007
Hey, I'm a Virgo. But it sounds like I should be an Aries, I like to do the punishing. :P True about the hygiene thing though
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:31AM

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