Sex Horoscopes

tea_green at 12:19PM, Feb. 11, 2007
posts: 294
joined: 6-23-2006
Aries -March 21 to April 19

Aries LIVE for head massages. ANY part of their head: Lips, Eyelids, Eyes, Tongue, you name it! Aries also like to fuck in public places during business hours. You need to be open minded with an Aries. If you don't feel like being duct taped to a wall and beaten with live ferrets: Tell Them. Be warned! IF you don't want to be kinky, don't be with an Aries. If you say no too often to them you may lose them as a lover forever.

Aries idea of Heaven is participating in live sex shows for money. Having their favorite human toy win first place in a pony boy/girl race. Fucking as an art form on display in a gallery. They secretly crave to be strippers or Annie Sprinkle. Aries LIVE to be jealous…they also like to coordinate other people fucking. Secretly desire to be fluffers. Aries owned a violet wand before it was popular. They are also sadists.

The best gift to give an Aries is designer colored nylon rope in their favorite color. They live to tease and torture. Hey, somebody's gotta do it, right? They like hair pulling. Beware of their ‘toy’ collections. Don't tease them…they will rape you. They love pony boys and girls…I cannot emphasize this enough! They like it doggie style especially if they are steering. Give an Aries 100 feet of rope and a 250 dollar flogger and they will follow. As long as they get to be the one holding the handle.

last edited on July 18, 2011 10:31AM
ozoneocean at 6:30PM, Feb. 11, 2007
posts: 26,844
joined: 1-2-2004
OMG I'm an Aries… o_O
last edited on July 18, 2011 10:31AM

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