Apocalypse actually took place when Jesus died. Mr. Riot killed the four horsemen, and drove off in his van. ( I just replaced “T” with “Riot”!)
Mr. Riot once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
The substance used in the Disney movie “Flubber” was really just Mr. Riot's ear wax.
When Mr. Riot was 7 years old, he played T-ball in his town's little league. All of the other kids would make fun of little Riot because of his beard. One day, in order to send a message, Riot took aim and hit a line drive so hard, it hit an outfielder and obliterated the kid's face into dust particles. The child's lifeless decapitated body lay there with brain matter sprayed all about. To this day, Mr. Riot will pimp slap anybody who gives him any shit about it.
Zac is so depressing that before he was born, people only cried out of happiness.
Mr. Riot once lit a fart in the Sahara Forest.
Obi-wan trained Luke. Qui-gon trained Obi-wan. Yoda trained Qui-gon. Mr. Riot trained Yoda.
Riot commands all five lions of Voltron simultaneously.
Frosty the Snowman didn't melt; he was Chair'd to death by Mr. Riot
Most people say Mr. Riot's teeth are green from eating grass. But contrary to the popular belief, it's because he eats leprechauns for dinner.
As someone of Irish descent, I must say…
That leprichaun joke was the funniest shit I've ever heard. And now that an actual Irish person says it's alright, let's go to town on Irish jokes, too. :D