I had Chinese today.

Cuz I'm a cannibal.

No, no, I had sweet n sour cat er something. Anyway, so I finish up and bust open the lousy fortune cookie (which, by the way, could do with chocolate) and read my fortune.

Word for word, this is what it said:

“Here we go. Low fat, whole wheat green tea.”

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What on God's green earth does that mean? Was Confucius high when he wrote that one?

I guess that the person who writes fortune cookies where you went was crazy. Or messed up with his shoping list. Or BOTH!

Yeah, but who puts “low fat, whole wheat green tea” on their shopping list? Does that even exist? Does green tea typically have a lot of fat and bleached flour in it to justify making a low fat, whole wheat variant? And what's up with the “Here we go” part?

All I can come up with is that the guy who usually does the translations was sick that day. I guess the second rung guy lied on his application.

Oddly, this fortune has been in circulation for quite a while. I Googled the phrase and there were quite a few hits. Including this one from 2007:

http://iwiggleitjustalittlebit.blogspot.com/2007/11/here-be-dragons.html

Of course, it could be that the Chinese place I eat at is handing out 3 year old cookies.