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I wish I could un-see...
Hawk at 9:56AM, Jan. 25, 2012
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Did you ever have a movie or TV show that wasn't just bad, you wish you had never seen it?  Like, it had some sort of effect on you that you wish you could take away?  I'll list a few of mine:
 
Grown-Ups - It makes my heart ache to know how much money Adam Sandler got for this movie.  But what hurts even more is knowing that I wasted time watching it.  I didn't pay any money to see it since I borrowed the DVD, but the older I get the more time is like a currency to me.   And I paid two hours to Adam Sandler and I want them back.  He doesn't deserve them.
 
Neon Genesis Evangelion - I know this one might upset some people.  It's okay if you like this anime series, I understand.  But on the recommendations by a girl I was dating, I watched the entire series, despite my hatred for giant-fighting-robots-anime.  This did not click with me at all.  I felt like whoever wrote the anime was working through his own psychological issues, and I had to sit and watch.  To me, there were no likeable characters, save one, and it committed what I consider the three big anime sins:
1. Shoehorned Biblical references
2. Fighting robots
3. EXTREMELY pretentious
Seriously, why does so much anime attempt to mess with my perceptions of reality?  I'm sure it's some silly attempt to be “deep”, but I'm not buying it.  I thought the EVA movie might put a satisfying conclusion to the whole series, but BOY was I wrong!  I think I might be scarred for life now!
 
Cool World - Why did I feel so weird and icky after watching this movie?  Was it the idea of real people having sex with cartoons?  Or is it just the usual effect Ralph Bakshi has on me?  Either way it wasn't a good movie, and despite all the taboo subject matter it didn't even seem to have a valid point to make.  Just some stupid cartoons doing stupid things, and girl that I'm supposed to find sexy.
Armagedon at 6:22PM, Jan. 28, 2012
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My biggest would go to “The Happening”.  I walked out of the movie twice, and still wish I'd unseen even the beginning of it.  It was horrendously written and acted and it makes me angry just thinking about it…
artofzinn at 6:47PM, Feb. 5, 2012
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sucker punch oh god turn it off turn it off !!!!!!!!!
ozoneocean at 8:14PM, Feb. 5, 2012
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Any episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.
-Those characters are so pathetic… and Ray's voice is like the mutant offspring of Fran Drescher and Bill Gates.
 
Almost famous.
Soooooo forking boooooooring! Booooooooorrrrrring! Boooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrring!
Coming of age CRAP!
 
Genejoke at 6:03AM, Feb. 6, 2012
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Punch drunk love
More Adam sandler hate.  I'd heard a lot of good things about it, it was touching and funny, adam sandler allegedly shows off his acting skills and it's beautifully shot etc.
It looks like a student film, a bad one at that.  
Adam sandler just mumbles through it.
nothing of interest happens at any point.
I get angry just thinking about seeing the film.
Juno.
because of seeing half of it I find it hard to watch any film with Ellen page.  awful diologue and a hideous hipster friendly soundtrack.
Product Placement at 8:10PM, Feb. 6, 2012
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Hawk wrote:
1. Shoehorned Biblical references
 
To be perfectly fair, I believe evangelion (and come on, how could you not expect biblical stuff, with a name like that) did it back in the days while it was still considered fresh and new. I'd also argue against it being shoehorned in there, seeing as the entire plot revolves around an alternative take on the Christian apocalypse.

While I do do doubt it, I feel obligated to point out that if you're willing to give it a “third time's the charm” chance, they're redoing the series as an animated quadrilogy. The first 2 movies are already out and the third is coming out this year, I believe. First movie is essentially a point-by-point retelling of the first 6 episodes, redrawn from scratch, while the second film diverges the story a little bit. Being someone who liked the show but was underwhelmed by the ending, I'm liking where it is going.

Anyways, in order to fix this derailment that I'm currently creating:

My list of movies I wish I could un-see is relatively small. I usually have a good 6th sense on what movies will annoy me and avoid those. Sometimes I go for a bad movie, simply because I was in the mood to see a bad movie which turns the experience into some kind of twisted form of entertainment. My movies that I wish I could un-see are the bad movies that I wish were good.

Case and point:
M.Night Shyamalan's “The happening” is a brilliantly funny film, with the right mindset; the idiocy of that flick is beyond belief.
M.Night Shyamalan's “Avatar” is something that can burn in the deepest corners of hell.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
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last edited on Feb. 6, 2012 8:11PM
Hawk at 2:58PM, Feb. 7, 2012
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Genejoke wrote:
Punch drunk love
More Adam sandler hate.  I'd heard a lot of good things about it, it was touching and funny, adam sandler allegedly shows off his acting skills and it's beautifully shot etc.
It looks like a student film, a bad one at that.  
Adam sandler just mumbles through it.
nothing of interest happens at any point.
I get angry just thinking about seeing the film.
Juno.
because of seeing half of it I find it hard to watch any film with Ellen page.  awful diologue and a hideous hipster friendly soundtrack.
 
What's interesting is that I was actually thinking about seeing Punch Drunk Love because of the same things you had heard… but from the sounds of it, it's probably better used as an opportunity to deny Mr. Sandler any more of my business.  To think how much I loved that guy back in Saturday Night Live, and yet he has become what we have today.
 
Also, ditto on Juno.  I had a mild distaste for hipsters before seeing it, and burning hatred for them afterward.  It felt like big-budget Hollywood trying to fabricate an indie movie for some of that Napoleon Dynamite money.  And absolutely the worst thing about it was the  terrible soundtrack…  how it won awards is beyond me.
 
@Product Placement:
 
You may have some good points there.  I suppose somebody is allowed to use the Apocalypse as a jumping point at some point in anime.  It didn't make a compelling angle for me, and it's possibly because I saw it a decade too late…  at this point it felt like another anime looking for an easy way to seem deep.
 
I'd be really hesitant to give the new Evangelion another shot, since it is yet again a giant fighting robot anime, and there's always the risk of it repeating what made me regret seeing the first iteration.  At one point in the series I actually had myself expecting a decent ending and characters that redeemed themselves, and I felt like I got burned.
 
But I'd be interested in hearing if this new take on the series wraps up in a satisfying way for you.  I don't know it would change my mind, but I feel like Evangelion fans deserve something good after getting kicked so hard in the groin.
  
last edited on Feb. 7, 2012 3:01PM
ozoneocean at 1:51AM, Feb. 8, 2012
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I too found Evangelion to be original enough in its own way. There was a decent logic to its bible stuff, and its versions of “angels” are way closer to the original source material than our modern conception of them, so the writers really did their research, this wasn't just the normal superficial crap like a killer character walking around dressed like a priest or some anime chick with a crucifix around her neck.
 
Where it fell down for me is that it went too far into teen drama and the petty parent issues at the heart of people's psyches… This isn't the 1970s anymore, we're over that shit now. Unless you were actually molested STFU.
 
 The ending was weak too, mainly because it looked like they ran out of money or creativity or both. Existential stuff  I get, but it's not interesting in the context of a colourful giant robo animation series, not even one that takes angel mythology seriously. Should've given us the climax we expected instead of their wanky, poorly formed interpretation of existentialism.
I'm not against philosophy, but you have to be fair to your creation and its audience.
 
Product Placement at 3:06PM, Feb. 8, 2012
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I knew I was gonna derail this topic. >_>
ozoneocean wrote:
The ending was weak too, mainly because it looked like they ran out of money or creativity or both.
 
That's actually exactly what happened. During the creation of the original series, they blew through their budget money too quickly and ran into some serious time constraints. In the end, they didn't have time or money to finish the series so they created that infamous ending where Shinji literally spends two episodes, sitting on a chair, going through his existential crisis. It's also been said that the show creator was going through a serious nervous breakdown around this time, which greatly affected the direction that the show took in the end.

The movie “End of Evangelion” was later released which showed you the original idea for the ending of the show, albeit poorly executed.
As I previously mentioned, they're working on the rebuild at the moment and are halfway through it. The original titles of the movies are very creative in nature but they can apparently be interpreted both positively and negatively. Thus the English translations of the first movie is “You are (not) alone” and the second “You can (not) advance”, meaning that you're supposed to be able to read the title with or without the “not” part.

I'll spoiler this, since I'm giving away the ending of the original show:
Additionally, there's this very interesting discussion going on online now that the rebuild is actually a sequel of the show, not a remake. During the end of evangelion, the world literally ended but Shinji, being the pilot of what essentially turned out to be the catalyst of the end, was given the choice to decide what happened next. This is essentially where the existential crisis is supposed to be taking place. In the end Shinji rejects the third impact, delaying the final end and the movie ends in a massive WTF fest. What people are theorizing now is that what happened next is that the world essentially reset and everyone's none the wiser, apart for at least this one individual who was revealed in the show to be an angel in human form. Now the angels are trying to redo the third impact and this time they're trying to guide Shinji into doing the right thing. Lots of interesting points have been made to support this theory and with the recent reveal of the newest movie title “You can (not) redo”, I'm sure that this theory isn't gonna go away anytime soon.
Those were my two cents.
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Call Me Tom at 12:11PM, Feb. 10, 2012
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I wish I'd never seen Twilight! Oh how I wish I'd never seen that film, Shore I lathed at how Bad that film was for the first 45 min but it just wheres on you after that!
Mr Kaos at 5:08AM, Feb. 22, 2012
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“the nightflyver” a horrible bad vampire movie that i wish i could unseen. An airplane that a vampire flies around and visits people who somehow welcomes him. a reporter is checking this out… and turns into a massmurderer because.. he won't keep this a secret? sorry but the movie itself didn't make any sense at all. it is like to watch a car accident. you simply can't look away. Please people. DON'T watch this movie.
Genejoke at 9:35AM, Feb. 22, 2012
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I liked the nightflyer, for what it was.  A low budget stephen king adaptation.  
I wish i could unsee saws 2-5  just so tedious.
bravo1102 at 12:33AM, Feb. 23, 2012
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Genejoke wrote:
I liked the nightflyer, for what it was.  A low budget stephen king adaptation.  
I wish i could unsee saws 2-5  just so tedious.
The rule of sequels, any number after “3” is not worth watching by the casual observer.  True fans only.
Air Raid Robertson at 4:33PM, March 13, 2012
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A friend of mine insisted that I watch that remake of Death at a Funeral recently. I hated that movie so much that I actually got momentarily angry at my friend for putting it on. It's just an assortment of poop gags, gay sex references, and drug “jokes” coupled with regurgitations from the original film.

Watching it convinced me that Chris Rock should stick to stand-up, Tracy Morgan should stick to 30 Rock, and Martin Lawrence should just go away forever.
lba at 10:06AM, March 17, 2012
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Kind of digging up a barely living thread, but I like the topic so pfaw.

Personally, I'd go with Battle Royale and Epic Movie. I get that people think Battle Royale is deep or some sort of interesting take on society, but to me it was just utter crap. If you even stop to think about it for half a minute, the whole premise completely falls apart. Add that to bad translations in the captions, crappy acting and a script that tried to cut too much out of the book to make it fit the time frame and you've just got a movie that isn't bad enough to be enjoyed for it and nowhere near good enough to be enjoyed normally.

As for Epic Movie, I don't think I really need to explain that one, other than to say it wasn't my choice. I got dragged into it by a girlfriend and her friends and couldn't even muster up the words to mock it for the whole 2 hours.
Genejoke at 11:51PM, March 17, 2012
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Epic movie… just no.
You deserve a medal for sitting through that, I made ten minutes before I HAD to turn it off.
ozoneocean at 4:51AM, March 18, 2012
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I watched that one all the way through. I didn't find it painfully lame, probably because the things it was making fun off were lamer. It was just pretty feeble really, not heinous.
Sort of like a highchool review play or something- not badly written or acted, but boring and dull.
 
——
 
Hollywood Sex Wars.
douchebag movie for douchebags.
 
lba at 5:43PM, March 19, 2012
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That's precisely what made it so bad to me. It was just so insipid and bland. If it had been outright terrible, with awful production values or bad acting, something that might have indicated it was slapped together or done on a budget, just to indicate any reason it was so obnoxiously bad. But it had hundreds of millions behind it, it took the same amount of time as any other hollywood film. It had all the power of a studio behind it, and it still sucked on the level of a Roger Corman flick, but without any of the redeeming qualities that make his films amusing to watch for their bad taste.
Product Placement at 2:02PM, March 20, 2012
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People saying:
Epic movie.
 
The fundamental problem with many modern day parody movies is that they (the makers of such movies) just don't know how to make parodies anymore. At some point down the road, people started thinking that it was all about recreating scenes from movies that they want to make fun of, while throwing in a stupid joke in the process (usually entailing grossness of some sort (bonus points if it relates to sex)). Also, the more cameos and direct references to other movies you can make, the better.
 
If you want a good parody movie check Blazing Saddles making fun of the Western, Spaceballs doing the Star Wars franchise, Shaun of the Dead doing the zombie apocalypse. We have Airplane doing disaster movies, Top Secret doing Elvis/Spy films, Austin Powers doing Bond/Spy films. Naked Gun, Robin Hood - Men in tights, This is Spinal Tap.
 
Many of these movies don't make direct references to the movies that they're making fun of, recreating the scenes down to the T. Instead they take the formula behind the movies and play with it. That's what proper parody is all about.
Those were my two cents.
If you have any other questions, please deposit a quarter.
This space for rent.
Byth1 at 9:11PM, May 4, 2012
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@Product Placement, I'm guessing it's because those movies remembered to be good movies first.
I'm probably gonna get some flack for this(apparently the movie has a cult following or something) But I can't sit through Equilibrium, the movie's just…dull.
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last edited on May 4, 2012 9:14PM
Hawk at 12:07PM, May 7, 2012
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Byth1 wrote:
@Product Placement, I'm guessing it's because those movies remembered to be good movies first.
I'm probably gonna get some flack for this(apparently the movie has a cult following or something) But I can't sit through Equilibrium, the movie's just…dull.
My problem with Equilibrium is that its own internal logic didn't even work.  There were some scenes I thought were fun to watch, but the movie fell apart when you started to examine it.
Faliat at 5:40PM, June 19, 2012
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I wish I'd have just switched off 2001: A Space Odyssey after the HAL bit… And even before then it took ten freaking minutes to start the movie! God damn overhyped crap!

Call that jumped up metal rod a knife?
Watch mine go straight through a kevlar table, and if it dunt do the same to a certain gaixan's skull in my immediate vicinity after, I GET A F*****G REFUND! BUKKO, AH?!

- Rekkiy (NerveWire)
ozoneocean at 9:12PM, June 19, 2012
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Dog Days.
Stupid “realistic” dogma style film of life in the stultifying suburbs of an Austrian city during a baking summer.
Awful, awful, look at the small, pathetic lives of sad, pathetic people…
 
It's a bad film. It's not realistic at all since it gives you an entirely false and artificial “fly on the wall” voyeur's eye view of the actors improvised version and the writer's and director's constructed version of people's pathetic real life dramas…
 
But since such an outsider's point of view is impossible (without disturbing the scene), and those real life drama are ONLY pathetic to an uninvolved outsider's perspective, the premise is inherently false.
The only way to give it reality is to show it from the perspective of a character who you ARE  involved with. Without that medium it's a joke and will always be that way.
And being uninvolved you'd have to deal with the danger of your observer character becoming something of a freak/psychopath/weirdo.
 
In reality everyday dramas are seen from the perspective of those involved and so they're never pathetic. They have all the heroic and tragic overtones of any action film or great story. Badly done dogma films like this completely misunderstand the medium of film.
 
StrawberryMilk at 2:52AM, Nov. 24, 2012
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Mouse - That anime was just…No why was it made?
Bleach - I appologise to any fans but after tat first arc I litteraly watched it just to fall asleep. It had nice music and animation though I'll give it that. 
Twilight - I feel like I comited a crime by admitting I watched and read the series. 
I want a year of my like back thanks.
Eragon - The movie not the book. The movie was horrible and it didn't get into detail about anything and every character was dislikable. 
That one time I watched Seinfeild.
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