Sometimes I'm just gonna head on here and talk in this subforum of the forum hosted on drunkducks servers. I wonder if I can talk enough to make their servers shut down? Sometimes being really creative and intelligent and such is really draining. Both a blessing and a curse, if you will. And you will. Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying the whole creative world on my shoulder like I am that god who carries the world on his shoulders from like the oldentimes. Anyway yeah, the thing is that sometimes I just feel so alone. SO LONELY- Kim Jong Il. He said that once in a documentary but he got his L and R sounds mixed up but I'm not going to write it out like that because I am not racist. Anyway yeah I just really need a place to vent my thoughts and this forum is it. A lot of my mind is dedicated to cool comics and other artistic persuits for you, the internet denizen. But sometimes I just wanna talk about serious feelings or sandwiches or how I look or whatever. Like today I'm worried I look a bit fat and I'm going to hang out with some friends tomorrow and I'm secretly afraid that when they see me they will be thinking in their head “man, he has gained some weight”. Like, they wouldnt say that sort of thing out loud but the fact they might be thinking it literally kills me. I can't handle it. All I want is for people to ignore all my cripping deficiencies and love me unconditionally. Is that so much to ask? Is it really? I really do care a lot about what people think and its especially hard because I really hate fat people and think they're disgusting and lazy and when they try and make excuses its just fucking pathetic and then suddenly I look int he mirror and I think “its me. I am becoming the fat sack of crap. I am systematically draining the world of all it's goodness” and frankly it scares me. And the worst thing is I get really upset and it just makes me eat more because “hey fuck it, I'm a fatty now so what does an extra biscuit matter in the long run?”. I am literally the worst fucking person. Anyway I'll probably stop this post now but I'm gonna keep posting here. I wonder if people will notice?

Today I'm kinda mad and I don't really know why. Like, I kinda wanna chill with some bros or at least bug someone online but everyone I talk to makes me mad and is really boring and I wish they would stop talking forever. Like I wouldnt be unhappy if someone ripped out their tongues and typing fingers at all really. Is there someone I can pay to do that? to do an assault for me? I dont wanna break any laws but I would totally pay someone to assault people for my own ends. I am pretty irritable really and then I sat down to do my cool comic that people like and I was like “I can't do this”. The irritation is getting in the way of my funny, the only real export I can usually consistently provide. Like for real even if you are a soggy vagina full of depression I can probably normally make you laugh because I'm awesome. this isn't ironic or anything I am literally gods gift to funny and if you say otherwise you are a liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar and I hate you. But suddenly I'm in a position where I can't “bring the thunder” as it were. The laugh thunder. PReceded by the joke lightning strike. My metaphor is sound, sound is my medium and medium is the size of my shirts. Also still worried about being fat. Might have to starve myself for a couple of weeks. I literally can't look at myself in the mirror without just wishing I was dead. If only I was rich so I could just have all my lumps of disgusting blubber surgically removed. Maybe I should try to find a way to weaponize my peerless comedy stylings and just seize control of some country. A shit one like Scotland or Canada. No one would care. This room is too yellow and its pranging me out. Like I try to have cool thoughts maybe about puppies just playing and being cool but I'm constantly interrupted by so much yellow that I can't breathe and I just want to die. Maybe I should paint the room? It would maybe be a fair amount of effort. Also I think the yellow is partially the fault of the lighting. I feel so sick. Sick of everyone.
Clowns are cool, so are horses and if you found a way to combine the two that might cheer me up.

as a brief aside, lol if your ever sincere on the internet. you are literal human filth.

So I'm in a call with some losers and they're talking words and its just bringing me the fuck down. Like, when they say things I'm like SHUT UP and when they dont say things I know they're secretly plotting against me.
I'm on to you guys. I am fucking on to you!

Fact: No one who has or who has ever had a blog will ever have anything interesting to say. Unless forums posts that no one will look at count because obviously I'm a genius.

i think we should make a forum on drunkduck