THIS Quackcast will be rerecorded coded on the 1st of September. So you have a long time to get your stuff in!

For Quackcast number 93 what we want is something fun!
- A Description
of your comic from the point of view of your comic character.

That's right, basically a quick synopsis/description/ad about the world of your comic as seen through the eyes of one of the characters IN your comic.
Could be the main character, a side character, a villain, anything. We want your characters to tell us about themselves AND the world they live in.
-You could even record yourself speaking in your character's voice or get someone else top do it so it SOUNDS like your character too!

Oh, and one last thing-
Include a Haiku description of your comic or comic character too. (3 line poem, first like 5 syllables, second like 7 syllables, last like 5 syllables)

Banes and I will both be doing this too, to show you guys how it's done! ^_^

if we record this intro/description/synopsis, about how long ought it to be in minutes:seconds ?

KUNG FU MONKEYFACE SAYS:
Yeah, so let's just address the gorilla in the room right up front, awright? I'm a monkey. Uh-huh, that's right. A talking monkey. And I know kung fu, so you can keep your damn banana jokes to yourself, smart guy. So here's the thing - my folks are dead. I was raised in a temple in the clouds by a buncha bathrobe wearing monks, ‘til I got kicked to the curb for not being all “mister sunshine”. So now I hang in the city. Just trying to mind my business is all. But I got problems, ’kay? Rage problems, girl problems, ninja problems, magic evil gorilla problems. Don't get me started. Alls I want is a high stool at a quiet bar and a cold beer or two with my gal. Is that too much for a talking monkey to ask for?
Linky linky: http://www.drunkduck.com/Kung_Fu_Monkeyface/5256085/

D'oh! Forgot the haiku. Here goes:
TheSoaring Way falls
The Darkened Path twists, beckons
Monkey do kung fu

not sure I get it. You want only recordings, or a written thing is good enough?

Lost in a dungeon
The Party of Playmobil
Fate just toys with them

I think the Bard may have to compose (and record) a ballad for this quackcast. Where's that poetic license gone?

Ooh this does sound fun. I'll have to work on something.
Obo's is a good example right so I can just follow his lead?
Nice haiku gunwallace

Excellent Haiku Gunwallace, and great fist story contribution Odo!

@LillyRose - Either is fine! Written or recorded, whatever you prefer!

@gene hole - 2 minutes max I think for recordings.
I'd love longer, but you have to ballance the potenetial number of contributions VS Quackcast time:

Once you subtract host blather, intro and outro times, and the features you get maybe 45 minutes for content. Divided by 2 minites you get 22.5 spots for individual pieces, recorded or read.
How's that sound?
If we up it to 3 minutes we get 15 spots for pieces. So it realy depends hon how many we get I suppose ^_^

Yes Tamerlan, you next! :)

All people grow old
Rich lives but many ailments
Now Batman is old

haiku for Putrid Meat:
bad meat grows putrid
you must throw it away soon
but read it first

I hate haiku because they were the favorite torture of every writing teacher I ever had.

Sash was a doctor
Doctored herself, her top stripped
She has cool blue boots

I'm working on getting a recording together (ie, I'm suckering a friend into a recording).

In the meantime, a haiku:

A charming bookstore
Its owner has a secret
Death behind her shades

Hahaha! These are great, you guys! Maybe if and when you come up with a character describing your series, just edit your post to include that.
That's what I'm gonna do…soon as I write the description!
Lovin' this!
————————————————–

Don't call us losers
Our lives are crazy yet dull
Want to stay inside.

Hayden says:

I thought it was hilarious when my little brother died. He hit his head and drowned heh. ANDall for that little twerp, what an idiot! But it wasn't too funny when I died. Impaled and bled out. Ithurt a lot more than I expected and now I'm just reckless, always getting hurt. Broken necks are the worst. And the twerp…He smells so delicious. Now I'm actually jealous of my brother.

Back to life from death
Looking for the greatest “food”
All so very gay

interesting.

Here it is, a link to my recording – of someone else, doing a character:
http://curiousv.com/usedbooks/RaidonRecording.mp3


And here's my haiku again for Used Books:
A charming bookstore
Its owner has a secret
Death behind her shades



(Incidently, my brother is available for voice-over work. Price negotiable.)

The Haikus are great!
But more character comic intros too please!

@Usedbooks. Your brother did great! Sounds like Bill Duck!

—————

Pinky says:

Hi.
We are at war…
My name is Tatiana Annonova, but you will call me Pinky, or Colonel Pinky if you're feeling formal. Do not call me “Pinks” or “Punky”, “Freak” or “Clown” or I will kill you. I mean that quite literally.
I am an individual, I am… distinctive.
My hair is pink, I have blue plates in my ear lobes, I wear a halter-top, a G-string, and baggy combat pants with the crotch and the backside cut out… so what? How else am I supposed to show of this magnificent arse?
I'm in the army, the Imperial Crimean cavalry actually, and I'm the best mecha pilot you're ever likely to meet.
What else can I tell you? Hmm, Cc is a bitch, Ace Kincaid is a bastard, Captain Rasovich is a treacherous old dick, I don''t like this war, pointless bloodshed is sickening but I fight for… peace.

Pinky TA Haiku:

War is horrible
fight for peace and my country
It's the only way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people think it's offensive, or maybe politically incorrect, to use the word Whore to describe what I do for a living. Well; maybe some have a problem with it. Me; as long as it's the truth, call me what you want. I'm a whore and I make my living whoring; that's good enough for me.

Thing is…

the thing is, see….

…being a whore don't give you the right to do me wrong. And if you think it does… you are sadly, and lethally, mistaken, my friend. I've got this little talent; I guess you could call it a superpower yeah, sure why not? I've got a superpower that makes me badder than you.

I never asked for it, I don't know where it comes from, but I've got it nonetheless, and if you attack me, if you hurt me, then you become my prey. In fact listen up good now I find you hurting anybody, you're butcher meat. They say you have to have an ice cold heart to kill the way I do, but I'll tell you a secret: I know that's not true. How do I know? Because Rage isn't ice cold. Rage is hot – white hot.

And Rage is the juice that fuels my engine.

Some call me a vigilante. Some call me a superhero. Funny thing about superheroes; I ain't never seen one of the female ones spend her time going after rapists. You'd think – ahh, but what does it matter? You could say I've… rectified the situation. I didn't make up the name, and when someone called me “Castrating Bitch Girl” they meant it as a joke. But hey – it's not so far off the mark, after all. See; some superheroes specialize.

Like me. Get it?

Haiku

Working the mean streets
Danger lurking in shadows
Sharp blade will meet them
http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Adventures_of_Castrating_Bitch_Girl/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll try my hand in this… with due warning that I have never written a single haiku in my life before this one. D:

—–

For Without Moonlight:

Fotis says (with due self consciousness):

"Hey there! My name's Fotis Porfyros. I'm 14 and I live in Athens… and well, we're generally in a bit of a tight spot these days, what with the nazis and assorted Axis powers ravaging everything and hogging all the food and generally being assh– uh, I mean as horrible as possible… yeah…

But we're doing a good job scraping by, mind you! We're not exactly sitting on our butts crying here. And sometimes it can be fun leaping on the nazi trucks to get our food because- you gotta see the faces some of the soldiers make when they realise they've been had! It's not all bad… no…

Heh heh… what else? There's been some extra trouble lately with a British guy that's given me a microfilm to keep safe for until I can pass it on to Resistance fighters, but it's all okay! That thing is tiny and I've been successfully hiding far bigger and rowdier things than that- like my friends!"

—- haiku

Leap and run or hide
it's a fight to survive and be free
but it will end.

(Explanation of Brave Resistance by Herr Ludger Achziger of the S.S.
P.S.-Ozoneocean must read this with a cooley evil German accent)
“Due to my excellent integrity, the great Furher has seen fit
to reward me by setting me in charge of operations in Pindos, a mountainous region
in Greece, unfortunately this reward is not what it seems as Im plagued by
resisting peasants and imbicile subordinates who have neither the cunning, nor the
proper waistline to put down these bumpkins and secure this backwater hole. SighifI were not the great man I am, Id polish of two bottles of scotch a day
instead of one. But never mind. Somewhere in these mountains, these simple yet,
strategic folk are hiding an American pilot, and its only a matter of time
before he is MY pilot. He has information that I will scrape from his brain if I
have to, this Hunter Marshall, and there will be dire consequences for the brave
yet humble resistance that stands in my way…”

Todd Sweets' Haiku

His stupid world.
With a bottle in his hand.
Todd is, er, something?

PIT_FACE wrote:

(Explanation of Brave Resistance by Herr Ludger Achziger of the S.S.
P.S.-Ozoneocean must read this with a cooley evil German accent)
“Due to my excellent integrity, the great Kaiser
yet humble resistance that stands in my way…”

EMCEE: Entschuldigen
Sie bitte meine Damen und Herren, und jetzt,

Untersturmfhrer Kaiser? Verzeiht mirmein Herr, Sie hatten zu viel Scotch, meinen Sieder Fhrernicht wahr?


Obersturmbannfhrer:Ja, auch ihn. Aber ichniezu vielScotch.

Untersturmfhrer: Jawohl, mein Herr.


EMCEE: Life is a cabaret ol' chum, cometo the cabaret

Nie zu viel Scotch. Das Gesprach ist Verboden! Vorzubereiten, erschossen zu werden…..

PIT_FACE wrote:
Nie zu viel Scotch. Das Gesprach ist Verboden! Vorzubereiten, erschossen zu werden…..

Nicht schieen bitte!

Lachen mir den Arsch ab!

hahahahaha, Das ist Besser. Alles Gut!
and yes, i changed kaiser to furher. thanks alot!

Enough you schwanzkopfs!

Guys, please give us some more intros to your comics from your character's perspective- those that have only done Haikus, I'mma look' at you!!!

Besides, this is a fantastic ad for your comics so get to it baby!

Got dem, Deep Inside a Dungeon Blues
by The Bard

I woke up this morning
Deep inside a dungeon.
I woke up this morning.
I was deep inside a dungeon.

Believe me baby,
I can barely function.
And my best friend's a halfing
Who's fixated on his luncheon.

I have no treasure,
and my last G-string has broke.
I have no treasure,
and my last G-string is broke

Believe me baby,
Being without underwear
is painful for us menfolk
(It's getting chaffed down there, baby)

Our mage is powerful
She can call down fire.
Our Mage is powerful
She calls down the fire.

And when she gets angry, baby
It one of us who's on the pyre.
(But Dennis is usually the one getting burned.)

The Paladin's a woman
But once she was a man.
The Paladin's a woman
But she was once a man

And the Barbarian was a dog
But she's doing the best she can
(She still has the fleas though, and, baby, some itches can't be scratched.)

The Cleric was evil
But now he's reborn
The Cleric was evil
But he became reborn

And the demon god he worshipped
is now a domesticated pet who's into porn
(Those tentacles get everywhere, baby. Mercy.)

The Ranger misses nature
And she misses the Barbarian too
The Ranger misses nature
And she misses her true love too

But the Thief hijacked a wish
And cut their romance in two.
He stole that genie's wish
And toppled their romance askew.
(A fine how-do-you-do.)

Deep inside a Dungeon
I woke up this morning
I was deep inside a dungeon.
I'd rather be with you, baby
Instead of with these munchkins.

I'd rather be with you, baby.
Sharing my love truncheon.
(It's a tasty log of spicy meat, baby. Maybe we could have it with a little cheese and some crackers? And a glass or two of wine? In front of a nice warm fire. I'll sing love ballads to you, baby. Oh, yeah … no, don't go, baby. Come back, baby. I'm begging you, baby … ).

I couldn't come up with anything sorry. All the robofemoids said “not in program” and the grey guys blew me off saying if I wasn't willing to pay extra they weren't doing anything extra.

Not sure what you wanted, but hopefully something like this will work for you.
Haiku first, because that actually took the most effort. Ha ha. For those interested, Basho is considered to be a master of haiku. Translations of his work are readily available. Personally, I prefer Waka, which is 5757. More room to explore, and less prone to misinterpretation.
And now onto the haiku:
Each life falls as leaves
Before winter, before fall
Some before the spring

Announcer: So, Gemma, tell us about Kenji and his way.
Gemma: Kenji? Its hard to say who he is. I can only tell you what hes like.
Announcer: Ummm ok.
Whats he like, then?
Gemma: (giggles) He
likes tea, and unagi, and tempura! And-I
dont know how to put it-he likes Zen.
Announcer: As in Zen Buddhism?
Gemma: (pause) No
Announcer: But Zen is a sect of Buddhism.
Gemma: Well, yeah, but every time I ask Kenji about THAT
stuff he tells me god is a fool .
Announcer: Well, I supposed thats sort of Buddhist.
Gemma: (nervous laugh) Its sort of like that space between
death and life, or what I imagine it to be, thats what Kenji is like.
Announcer: What do you mean?
Gemma: Watching him
is He doesnt care about living or dying; all he cares about is the beauty of
the moment. He gets lost in it. Its like watching an Artist paint a picture
or a master sculptor create. Ive never seen anyone like him.
Announcer: It sounds like you care for him very much.
Gemma: No way! He is,
like, totally gross! I mean, he likes
eel. EEL! Besides, he likes big well, you know. And Im you know
Announcer: (insert hysterical laughter)
Gemma: WHAT?! Stop recording! Gimme that tape! Come back here! Gimme that tape or Im gonna cut off
(Tape ends abruptly)
(insert mumbled apology for unscheduled disruption of the
program and continue)

Hubby is working on a script for Ice Pick, but I got a Haiku:


Down alleys he walks
An iced toothpick balanced in
fingers. Defender.

(I don't do poetry)

bravo1102 wrote:
I couldn't come up with anything sorry. All the robofemoids said “not in program” and the grey guys blew me off saying if I wasn't willing to pay extra they weren't doing anything extra.

How bout some of the space good guys? Maybe some of the captives yet to be converted to robofemoids?

Alternatively threaten the grey guys that all the subsequent victims they will have available to turn into weapons will be pitifully flat chested. Like, AA cups at MOST.