For me they will be playing Closer by NIN, and a bunch of
strippers will be the pall bearers. Wearing high heels, fish net stockings, and
lingerie.

It will be glorious.

You?

Ha what a topic?
For me, they'll play ‘Bad’ by U2 (the live version from ‘Wide Awake in American’ mini-album). Then they'll separate my head from my body, burn both in different locations, and spread the ashes in two different rivers with fast flowing water. As if that'll keep me from rising from the dead…! Largely true, except for the cutting my head off part. I'll be cremated and my ashes spread in my favorite river (not sure which one that is yet… :)

I am being cremated. I want a big party with great food and a round of speakers telling funny stories about my ridiculous life. There will be no viewing but a full size cardboard cut-out is not out of the question. Who knows maybe by that time there'll be a full-size holodeck me to welcome everyone with a smile and a hug.

Hey I may be gone but don't forget me! As long as I'm not forgotten I still live. And no one had better say anything about “a better place” or invoke any deities or mythical places. Ain't this great barbecue? Another helping of potato salad? Remember that time Steve… oh yeah, that was so funny!

Dieties… Well, that's an interesting idea!
OK, my stripper pall bearers have all ditched the lingere crap now and will instead be wearing full on sexy fantasy Valkaryie gear!!!! The whole lot: wingged helmets, scale mail bikins, furry boots and fur cloaks, plus bronze snake arm bands.
One will march in the front carrying a spear with a banner on it with my TA symbol.
The music will now be The Imigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.
My coffin will be shaped like a mini-viking longship.
And my withered, disgusting, frail, disease infested, cancer riddled, heart attacked, cirosus of the liver corpse will be decked out in full fantasy viking god gear:
I will have hair extensions so I will litterally have a cloack of blonde hair behind me in adition to my genuine polar bear fur cloak, matching polar bear fur boots, plus the polar bear fur trim on my winged helmet. I will be wearing a chainmail speado posing pouch and be clutcing a double bladed battleaxe to my chest.

After The Immigrant song is finished, there will be a selection of high energy '80s glam metal hits.

Everyone paying respects will have to wear tight leather trousers.

You are both invited.

Ozone has chosen to have a sexy funeral.
KimLuster has selected the vampire proof route.
Bravo is going for the comedic potluck approach.


The top three respectful ways to go are as follows:
1. A slow death from eating delicious foods over a long period of time. No, I am not talking about gorging and having to deal with an exploded stomach. That is disgusting and no one should aspire to die that way.
2. As a revolutionary fighting for a cause one truly believes to be right.
3. Death at the moment where one is most happy, be it while sitting in a field with hundreds of adorable rabbits, during intercourse, while dreaming, or while working on a webcomic.

The Ideal Burials

I would like my body cremated and then have the ashes dropped into a (preferably active) volcano in Iceland. It is preferable that it is active so the ash remains would not lay stagnant for too long. The journey to get to said volcano would rival that of Frodo and Sam's journey to Mt. Doom. If a volcano in a cold climate is out of the question, then a volcano in the ring of fire would have to suffice.

Nothing beats the traditional Viking ship burial complete with the flaming bow and arrow on a tranquil river send off.

Mixing the ashes with gun powder and fashioning custom bullets out of them that would then be used to take revenge on the enemies responsible for my death. If I have zero enemies by the time of my death, I would like a team of rifle men to shoot my remains into the sky while bagpipes play in the background.

My brother is going to have his ashes put into a tank round and fired downrange. So I couldn't opt for that. A friend will have his ashes spread over a racetrack from a race car at full speed. I wouldn't mind a little bit put into every one of my surviving model kits. I'm sure I will have enough built models to act as receptacles for all my remains with a little left over in a little urn as a momento for my wife.

When the time comes, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car.








(Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsG_kyLDgrk
bravo, a song for your funeral.

Genejoke wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsG_kyLDgrk
bravo, a song for your funeral.

The funeral music is already specified in my will.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrdEMERq8MA

No Bravo, THIS is the song you need http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG-bDvns1Z8

Monty Python gets top billing along with this from Warren Zevon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwdaZfLatmM

Gah you people…! This is about Funerals - not how you die…! Haha
.
Well as long as we're choosing the method of our demise…
.
I hope, when I'm old and infirm, they strap me to the Back of a Lion, then stuff a timed bomb up the Lion's ass, slap the Lion to make it run, then the Bomb goes off, and the Lion and I die as One!!!
.
(I stole this from a movie - feel free to guess ;)

Sounds like a Johnny Dep sort of line, so I'll say… that film about Hunter S Thompson?

I will die by accident or disease… Statistically disease is way more likley- cancer, heart disease, pnuemonia due to a weakened/old imune system etc.
I'm fine with inevitability rather than forcing the issue.

But if I WERE to force the issue I'd want to die heroically in an act of self sacrifice… as long as it actually WAS heroic, not just the sort of dumbarse self sacrificing death that happens when someone dives into raging floodwaters or rushes into a burning building to save people, or a dog/cat/horse/goat/whatever, they end up dieing and whatever or whoever they were trying to save saves themselves without help or dies anyway, or worse: causes other people to try and save them and they end up dieing too T_T

The scientist's deaths after accidents with the Demon Core are pretty interesting… That could be a good way to go to- crazy science experiemnts!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demon_core

I'd like to die laughing. Something to strike me as so funny that I laugh so uproarously and long that my heart stops in mid chortle with my eyes wide and a huge bright smile on my face.

The MOnty Python skit “The Killer Joke” comes to mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdWGlJrG6sQ

ozoneocean wrote:
Sounds like a Johnny Dep sort of line, so I'll say… that film about Hunter S Thompson?

It's from an older movie called ‘Heathers’, starring Christian Slater and Wynona Rider - movie is chock-full of dark delicious humor. Worth a looksie…!

Bravo… I dunno, that sounds a bit tragic actualy, like the crying clown pierrot :(

@Kim- Yes, I remember that. One of my faves. Great film!

Laughing right before croaking is pretty funny. Well, at least that was what I thought when I watched The Princess Bride as a kid. Vizzini's death scene comes to mind when I combine laughing up to the moment of death.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U_eZmEiyTo0

“Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!”

kawaiidaigakusei wrote:
Laughing right before croaking is pretty funny. Well, at least that was what I thought when I watched The Princess Bride as a kid. Vizzini's death scene comes to mind when I combine laughing up to the moment of death.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U_eZmEiyTo0

My favorite quote from that movie is:
Inigo Montoya: ‘I give you my word as a Spaniard…’
Man in Black: ‘No good - I’ve known too many Spaniards!'
Seeing as how I've lived in Spain lol…

It's funny, I took a college course on the sociology of death and we had to talk about our funerals.
I was the only one in my class who was under 60 though so everyone else already knew what they wanted for when they died. I was also the only animation student so when they got to me I didn't describe my funeral but the hospital scene when I passed and the cinematography of that scene.
Either way, I want my remains to be turned into a gem. I've read about that being a thing that you can do and I really like the idea of jewels being family heirlooms being passed down and they're actually your ancestors. I don't know if that sort of thing would happen before or after the funeral though. I guess I'd be on display in a little case at the funeral being able to be there for my eulogy and everything. I hope there's a lot of flowers.

Being a gem would be awesome! As for the funeral, I think I'd like to have a bunch of chairs set up at a beach and everyone can enjoy a day at the beach. Hopefully I die in a warm season; otherwise they will be cold.

There's a glass shop in my city that will take ashes and incorporate them into a piece of glass art that can be a pendant or just a little sculpture. Not quite a gem, but maybe a nice idea.

My only stipulation is that there are no bagpipes, and I'm buried in a red hat.

Can the red hat be shaped like a penis? :)

And just how big is the red hat if you're going to be burried inside it? It once belonged to Andre the Giant? o_O
Ok, I'm done now. :)

@Hawk-

Your request to be buried in a red hat makes me feel sad. I think of your avatar and it always has been shown wearing a red hat.

Bagpipes are way awesome! There were bagpipes at Spock's funeral in the Wrath of Khan. Yup, Scotty was playing them.

kawaiidaigakusei wrote:
Bagpipes are way awesome! There were bagpipes at Spock's funeral in the Wrath of Khan. Yup, Scotty was playing them.

It was at James Doohan's suggestion. though he didn't play them. He was missing the middle finger of his right hand so could not finger the pipes properly. James Doohan was a Canadian artillery captain in WWII landing on Juno Beach on D-Day. He was shot six times and the wounds resulted in the amputation of his middle finger.

But no bagpipes for me, I'm of English descent, not Scottish. My brother had his son play “Taps” on the trumpet at our father's burial. It was very nice. Lucas played well.

There was an exception made for Spock to have bagpipes played at his funeral unless he was Spottish (Spock + Scottish).

I have a real weakness for Folk Songs and Ballads. I sang Jean Ritchie's version of “The Unquiet Grave” at my rabbit's passing and I would really like the song “The Parting Glass” or Bob Dylan's “Restless Farewell” sung/played at my own funeral.

Ozoneocean, you are no longer listed in my will.

kawaiidaigakusei
Your request to be buried in a red hat makes me feel sad. I think of your avatar and it always has been shown wearing a red hat.

Bagpipes are way awesome! There were bagpipes at Spock's funeral in the Wrath of Khan. Yup, Scotty was playing them.

I wear a red hat almost all the time in real life, too. I think if people saw me in the coffin without it, they would assume they were at the wrong funeral.

I had forgotten that they played bagpipes for Spock. I wonder why they did that, instead of some kind of Vulcan funeral. But then, wasn't he only half-vulcan or something?

Hawk wrote:
I had forgotten that they played bagpipes for Spock. I wonder why they did that, instead of some kind of Vulcan funeral. But then, wasn't he only half-vulcan or something?

IDIC. Infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Scotty saluted his friend according to his own culture. And James Doohan thought it would be appropriate and something Scotty would do. Then there's Kirk's line "Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most…human."
So a human funeral as befitting a Star Fleet officer?. But then ST:III was all about the consequences of ignoring Spock's Vulcan side, wasn't it? You mean the story actually makes sense and progress from one another? Even the Star Trek universe can sometimes be consistent and … logical?

When I die I want you all to tie ropes to my arms and legs and work my corpse like a marionette to re-create the important moments in my life. Since there currently are none, if I die tomorrow I want you to dress me up in a revealing two-piece bathing suit and make my corpse dance to Sisqo's Thong Song with plenty of booty wiggle.

I don't care because I won't be there.