Thanks for all the lovely and interesting comments left last week regarding Janey. The general attitude of many of you seemed to be much calmer than the previous week and some lovely points were made and repeated by a few of you. Reading the responses from those who have had direct experiences of cheating and being cheated on I do get a fairly strong feeling that when weighing up all the good years along with the bad events one would certainly be wise to consider trying to save the relationship as a few of you have done, especially if the love still felt was that strong and the partners remorse seemed genuine enough. So I think maybe at the end of the day this isn't so much about Janey's reasons, but whether Sarah truly feels she is worth a second chance or if she would be better off and happier without her.
Next week: We finally call Janey into the witness box toexplain how the affair started and her excuses for giving in to it! Will Sarah… or you be swayedI wonder?
@DragonRider I never got the impression that Janey was well-off or spoiled growing up. Go back and read. Her and Rick were raised by their mother, who was quite strict and set in her ways. This kind of household, and I speak from experience, tends to create more rebellious-minded kids. They want to break free of the expected molds and do their own things. And I don't think Janey was always experienced in physical ways. Do not mistake eagerness for experience in those early showings. Janey wanted it, of course she was eager. Doesn't mean she knew what she was doing. Sarah, as she has been and still is, was reluctant, and left Janey high and dry. Actually, she's made a real habit of it through the years, if Janey's comments after moving into the flat are anything to go by. Sarah's history of neglecting her relationship has been a long-standing problem. Janey being a spoiled and selfish brat...not necessarily so much. It's still an issue, but not the main one. Your turn? ~Liz
@tommym: I'm not convinced it was like that. I see it as Sarah and Janey starting out together (I remember Janey's comment "that's what the internet is for") but Janey got bored and felt constrained by the relationship with Sarah. I get the feeling that it started around the time Sarah turned her nose up at anal sex and Janey started looking for fresh thrills since she's much more adventerous/needy than Sarah. Claire, being a manipulative bitch queen from hell decided to make use of this situation for her own agenda - bind herself closer to her only real friend and at the same time give Sarah (who has all the personality qualities Claire so obviously lacks) a kick in the teeth.
Dear Sky,Sarah is blameless.Just because she is little miss do-gooder does not give reason for Janey to cheat. Early on it became clear there was something about the Claire-Janey friendship. Sarah seemed to have felt it way back to that first homemade dinner where Sarah was disapointed to have Claire hanging out also. Sky uses the phrase "how the affair started" to me this means Janey and Claire have been having sex for a while.Personally I could easily forgive someone who for example drank to much at a party and just did it once. Forgiving someone who has been cheating over a given lenth of time would be a lot harder.It would not surprise me If Janey and Claire were lovers before Sarah hooked up with Janey and the on again off again sex has been going on ever since.tommym
Is the relationship worth saving? It depends on whether or not Janey can break that spoiled brat selfishness she radiates personally I don't think she can, I've always had the impression she was from a rather well off family and got whatever she whined for when she was growing up. I don't think she is the type to settle for a monogamous relationship. This is Sarah's 1st and only physical and emotional relationship and she reacts to Janey's push for more and more by becoming involved with helping others, her helping Geri and later Stacey was in response to Janeys's closeness with Claire. Something to think on, remember who has always been the experienced one in the physical side of things, that experience doesn't come out of thin air. Janey was taught by someone it may have been Claire but I'm betting Claire wasn't the only one. LV your turn now.
Great stuff. I would guess that Janey thought that her little bit of fun on the side would remain just that, but as Keith Waterhouse put it in Billy Liar: "Real things were happening. Not imagined or feared." Well, she's just going to have to cope with it, as is Sarah. Already looking forward to next week's installment.
Janey's face is flushed. Could be from tears. I won't deny my bias here. I took much pleasure seeing Janey's sad state. Schadenfreude, I think it's called. But most of that is old emotions from the stuff. Right now, I'm just in that speculative stage. Can't wait until next week. For me, my view is really hinged on the girl's explanation. Because I realized that for me, it's not about if the relationship can be saved. But if it should be to begin with.
Janey -should- shoulder most* x.x God, half-asleep here. Also going to give some props to Janey for still not making excuses, and actually trying to talk about it instead of avoiding the topic or anything. Most cases I've personally been involved with, the guilty party wasn't so eager to explain things unless they were cornered. Not saying it's always the case...but Janey breaks the mold a little.
It's like I've said, and DarkVisor pointed out below, Sarah and Janey do need some time apart to grow as individuals. Can the relationship be saved? Yes, it can. But it needs time to heal the wounds. Will it be perfect again? It wasn't perfect to start with. But maybe at the end of the day Sarah will pay more attention to problems inside the household than all the problems outside. It's easy to earn a lot of good friends socially if you don't pay as much attention to what's happening domestically. Sarah needs to find a balance, and Janey needs to seek professional help for her own issues. Neither is fully to blame (Though it's inarguable Janey can, and probably shoulder, shoulder most), and both need to come to terms with how they still feel about the other. That said, with all that's happening...and I am -not- speaking from my usual bias here...Janey is the one I want to hug and comfort. o.o That first panel...my heart just melted. ~Liz
Relationships can often be worth saving....but I'd wager in almost evey case, they would never be the same again. Doubt. Mistrust. Niggling away. Always. However, they can still be better than 'faithful' ones that get worn down for other reasons !
Will let LV do most of the talking again (she seems to explain things better :P), but will say this: no matter what Sarah decides regarding Janey, she needs the time apart to grow (both as a person and just 'up' in general), one thing she really needs to do is remember to continue giving the person she is with just as much respect (and time) as the birdie-with-the-broken-wing she is trying to mother that week (don't know what reasons Janey has, but Sarah running off to help someone else all the time has got to be part of it)
Lunaris Victoria at 4:46PM, Oct. 27, 2012
@DragonRider I never got the impression that Janey was well-off or spoiled growing up. Go back and read. Her and Rick were raised by their mother, who was quite strict and set in her ways. This kind of household, and I speak from experience, tends to create more rebellious-minded kids. They want to break free of the expected molds and do their own things. And I don't think Janey was always experienced in physical ways. Do not mistake eagerness for experience in those early showings. Janey wanted it, of course she was eager. Doesn't mean she knew what she was doing. Sarah, as she has been and still is, was reluctant, and left Janey high and dry. Actually, she's made a real habit of it through the years, if Janey's comments after moving into the flat are anything to go by. Sarah's history of neglecting her relationship has been a long-standing problem. Janey being a spoiled and selfish brat...not necessarily so much. It's still an issue, but not the main one. Your turn? ~Liz
oldironside at 1:47PM, Oct. 27, 2012
@tommym: I'm not convinced it was like that. I see it as Sarah and Janey starting out together (I remember Janey's comment "that's what the internet is for") but Janey got bored and felt constrained by the relationship with Sarah. I get the feeling that it started around the time Sarah turned her nose up at anal sex and Janey started looking for fresh thrills since she's much more adventerous/needy than Sarah. Claire, being a manipulative bitch queen from hell decided to make use of this situation for her own agenda - bind herself closer to her only real friend and at the same time give Sarah (who has all the personality qualities Claire so obviously lacks) a kick in the teeth.
tommym at 12:53PM, Oct. 27, 2012
Dear Sky,Sarah is blameless.Just because she is little miss do-gooder does not give reason for Janey to cheat. Early on it became clear there was something about the Claire-Janey friendship. Sarah seemed to have felt it way back to that first homemade dinner where Sarah was disapointed to have Claire hanging out also. Sky uses the phrase "how the affair started" to me this means Janey and Claire have been having sex for a while.Personally I could easily forgive someone who for example drank to much at a party and just did it once. Forgiving someone who has been cheating over a given lenth of time would be a lot harder.It would not surprise me If Janey and Claire were lovers before Sarah hooked up with Janey and the on again off again sex has been going on ever since.tommym
dragonrider at 9:22AM, Oct. 27, 2012
Is the relationship worth saving? It depends on whether or not Janey can break that spoiled brat selfishness she radiates personally I don't think she can, I've always had the impression she was from a rather well off family and got whatever she whined for when she was growing up. I don't think she is the type to settle for a monogamous relationship. This is Sarah's 1st and only physical and emotional relationship and she reacts to Janey's push for more and more by becoming involved with helping others, her helping Geri and later Stacey was in response to Janeys's closeness with Claire. Something to think on, remember who has always been the experienced one in the physical side of things, that experience doesn't come out of thin air. Janey was taught by someone it may have been Claire but I'm betting Claire wasn't the only one. LV your turn now.
oldironside at 8:54AM, Oct. 27, 2012
Great stuff. I would guess that Janey thought that her little bit of fun on the side would remain just that, but as Keith Waterhouse put it in Billy Liar: "Real things were happening. Not imagined or feared." Well, she's just going to have to cope with it, as is Sarah. Already looking forward to next week's installment.
comic_didi at 8:00AM, Oct. 27, 2012
Janey's face is flushed. Could be from tears. I won't deny my bias here. I took much pleasure seeing Janey's sad state. Schadenfreude, I think it's called. But most of that is old emotions from the stuff. Right now, I'm just in that speculative stage. Can't wait until next week. For me, my view is really hinged on the girl's explanation. Because I realized that for me, it's not about if the relationship can be saved. But if it should be to begin with.
Lunaris Victoria at 5:43AM, Oct. 27, 2012
Janey -should- shoulder most* x.x God, half-asleep here. Also going to give some props to Janey for still not making excuses, and actually trying to talk about it instead of avoiding the topic or anything. Most cases I've personally been involved with, the guilty party wasn't so eager to explain things unless they were cornered. Not saying it's always the case...but Janey breaks the mold a little.
Lunaris Victoria at 5:40AM, Oct. 27, 2012
It's like I've said, and DarkVisor pointed out below, Sarah and Janey do need some time apart to grow as individuals. Can the relationship be saved? Yes, it can. But it needs time to heal the wounds. Will it be perfect again? It wasn't perfect to start with. But maybe at the end of the day Sarah will pay more attention to problems inside the household than all the problems outside. It's easy to earn a lot of good friends socially if you don't pay as much attention to what's happening domestically. Sarah needs to find a balance, and Janey needs to seek professional help for her own issues. Neither is fully to blame (Though it's inarguable Janey can, and probably shoulder, shoulder most), and both need to come to terms with how they still feel about the other. That said, with all that's happening...and I am -not- speaking from my usual bias here...Janey is the one I want to hug and comfort. o.o That first panel...my heart just melted. ~Liz
BearinOz at 4:53AM, Oct. 27, 2012
Relationships can often be worth saving....but I'd wager in almost evey case, they would never be the same again. Doubt. Mistrust. Niggling away. Always. However, they can still be better than 'faithful' ones that get worn down for other reasons !
DarkVisor at 4:25AM, Oct. 27, 2012
Will let LV do most of the talking again (she seems to explain things better :P), but will say this: no matter what Sarah decides regarding Janey, she needs the time apart to grow (both as a person and just 'up' in general), one thing she really needs to do is remember to continue giving the person she is with just as much respect (and time) as the birdie-with-the-broken-wing she is trying to mother that week (don't know what reasons Janey has, but Sarah running off to help someone else all the time has got to be part of it)