elusive chaos at 8:53PM, May 5, 2013

I can't understand what happened. After rereading the whole comic from the beginning and seeing what I'd missed, I thought their intimate relationship was going really well. Well enough to keep Janey off Claire. I just don't understand it. :[

skyangel at 3:15PM, Nov. 11, 2012

Jeez, it'll take me a week to read and digest all this lot! I'm a bit stunned by the passion raging here guys tbh, it's just amazing!

comic_didi at 7:25AM, Nov. 9, 2012

DV: We judged Stacey too when it first happened. You can't say no one did back then. We were all plenty outraged when Janey was hit by the car and Stacey pushed her there. And it happened after Janey defended Sarah. I'd be willing to bet that no one gave a crap about Stacey's story either. But we heard it anyway. And emotions changed. The situation is basically the same right now. Maybe we're not interested but we're gonna hear the story. Whether that changes anything remains to be seen. But Stacey didn't just get a pardon because we cared about her reasons anymore than we care about Janey's reasons now. But then... for me? Stacey sorta paid for that with everything else that went on in her life. Even with Sarah trying to help her. Harsh as that sounds. So... I can ease up some. For Janey, it seems the only real consequence that can result is the end of the relationship. But if she and Sarah stay together, well, she didn't truly pay for her mistake, did she?

DarkVisor at 3:51AM, Nov. 9, 2012

comic_didi: exactely, Janey has a reason why she did what she did, but no-one (apart from me, LV and possibly marrog) seem to be interested, they have already Judged and sentenced her without a hearing. Whereas with Stacey, people listened to her background and issued her a full pardon

Lunaris Victoria at 3:24PM, Nov. 7, 2012

@Marrog Thing is, I'm not trying to be extremist and point fingers at everyone but Janey. I agree she screwed up. If anything I'm edging closing to the middle. There's this, and everyone says this. I agree with this. But there's also that, and no one else seems to either notice or care about that. I think this and that are related. So I bring that up. No one likes to hear about that. Oh well. :/ ~Liz

marrog at 2:19PM, Nov. 7, 2012

@LV: Oh, I wasn't suggesting that it was your fault that the view you presented seemed one-sided and biased; we all get pushed to the opposite edges of arguments when we feel that a given viewpoint isn't being aired, it's how extremism happens! But when it does happen we usually lose much of the value in any debate.

comic_didi at 7:50AM, Nov. 7, 2012

DV: I fail to see how that matters in the grand scheme of things. Is knowing how Janey ended up cheating supposed to change stuff? No, people don't just up and decide to be unfaithful. There's a nice little lead up and all that shit. But regardless, pain is there. Hell, to use Stacey as an example, she didn't just up and decide she'd try to murder another person. Murder was probably never on her mind, even with all that she's done. But that doesn't take away the fact she pushed Janey in front of the car. We're all interested in the background here and how it got started but that's all it'll be in the end. Just background. In any case, this does get me pondering one of the age old questions. What's worse? Premeditated or spontaneous? One off or long term? Just a physical aspect or physical and emotional?

Lunaris Victoria at 5:59AM, Nov. 7, 2012

Maybe, but to be clear, Janey has plenty of people showcasing her flaws. I'm saying yes, she's to blame, but this other stuff shouldn't be tossed out, and Janey isn't just insta-evil for a screw-up. I put more emphasis on Sarah because there's nothing I can say on Janey's faults that the others haven't already said. Having said that, Marrog, I'm done for now. Unless something else interesting pops up I'm content to see what happens. lol See y'all in a few days, peeps, barring anything interesting y'all come up with. :) Peace and love forever, yo. ~Liz

marrog at 4:49AM, Nov. 7, 2012

"But you have all made up your minds" ... "nothing she can say will do anything but make the haters say 'yeah right, I bet.'" ... Again I'm confused by the way you're seeing this. I've defended Janey because I sympathise with both of them and I see where each is coming from. There's an issue of different angles being pushed to extremes in the comments, though. For example, LV, you posted two comments there with one line devoted to the fact that Janey is to blame, and approximately twenty devoted to what a rubbish girlfriend Sarah was. Can you see where people might be getting a weird perspective on what you believe here, and be challenging you accordingly? I'm pretty sure most folk see both sides and sympathise, but we're ALL playing the Devil's Advocate now because everyone's angle seems so biased one way or the other. I think this is maybe more about the comments than the comic now... step back for all 'til next week, perhaps? We're all just repeating ourselves anyway. :-)

Lunaris Victoria at 4:18AM, Nov. 7, 2012

Forget relationships, forget sex...they need to grow and mature more before trying anything else. Maybe it can be saved in time, maybe not, but they need time apart. I want to see them work, but the inevitable is abundantly clear. And to be fair, again, Janey wasn't sleeping with Claire because Sarah was working late or out with her friends every now and then. Sarah was always out and busybodying with other people, always putting her friends first and Janey second. A hypocritical move since, let's not forget, she had given Janey shit about it before, to the point of taking a slow dance with Gerry in front of Janey. That there should have been a red flag that it was going to come back around in a bad way. But where Sarah used a friend to get back at her girlfriend, Janey used a friend to fill a void. It was wrong, it it's not going to be said to be anything -but- wrong...but there you have it. Janey is the biggest offender, no doubt, but there are no innocent parties. ~Liz

Lunaris Victoria at 4:13AM, Nov. 7, 2012

Neither I nor DV have blamed Sarah. To say she had a part, and that she contributed, does not mean she is being blamed. Janey did the cheating. But Janey has not, either, made excuses or rationalized. She's saying she -did- rationalize, but she's not saying she still thinks that way, nor is she saying she was right to in the first place. She screwed up. Face it, nothing she can say will do anything but make the haters say 'yeah right, I bet.' Should she say nothing? Should she ignore what she did? It wasn't right, not by any means. Should she have tried to talk about things more? Maybe. Sarah didn't tend to listen to Janey's deeper needs, and Janey never tried to press Sarah further. To be fair, Sarah did tend to cut things short at those times. It's a mess, and Janey is at the center, but she's not the only one involved. I've said nothing else. She and Sarah both need to take time apart.

DarkVisor at 3:10AM, Nov. 7, 2012

People do not just wake up one morning and go: "Gee, it look's like it will be a beautiful day, hmmm, perfect weather to have an affair. Now, who will it be with? A complete stranger or someone who loved me in the past? Decisions, decisions, will decide after some breakfast." But you have all made up your minds, so screw it, done trying to see it from both sides (and not _once_ did either me or LV try and excuse what Janey has done)

BearinOz at 12:14AM, Nov. 7, 2012

Cheating _sexually_ on someone for real or perceived neglect in other areas is the thing. I'm sorry but this is inexcusable. Like for like, O.K. Finding out your partner is having sex with others because you are working late, playing darts with your mates too often or whatever, just does not equate.

tommym at 5:13PM, Nov. 6, 2012

Dear Sky @ DV.LV Feel you guys are trying to blame the victum. Sarah spending time with other people is no excuse. Janey is rationalizing,attempting to justify her actions. "Well you were always elsewhere" In effect saying ..."If you spent ALL your time with me, I would not have cheated" tommym

aceina at 2:17PM, Nov. 6, 2012

@darkvisor its about how humans are foolish and holding a gruge is bad yes janey was almsot killed by that girl (cant think of her name) and i hated her to but then we learned of her past and how screwed up her life was there is an old saying kindness can be cruel and that dotn just mean to the person your beign kind to sarahs kindness to that girl hurt janey but in the end janey could have said something way back when sarah felt left out by janey's activitys and she made her feelings KNOWN

Lunaris Victoria at 4:08PM, Nov. 5, 2012

Gotta agree with marrog, I don't think Janey would've cheated with just anybody. That latent crush probably lent a lot of weight to the idea.

marrog at 2:59PM, Nov. 5, 2012

& I'll go even further, DV, and say that I don't think Janey _would_ have cheated with just anyone. I think it took Claire, Claire who she'd once loved, Claire suddenly wanting her after all that time. A head rush like that is really hard to turn down - even after all those years you don't forget your first love. That first love suddenly wanting you, and you feeling dispirited about your relationship... it takes strength not to give into that that Janey just didn't find in Sarah. I don't think she'd have cheated were it not for those specific circumstances - and I mean that kindly. But she still fucked up. Sarah is not at fault for Janey cheating any more than I'm at fault if I'm mugged in an alleyway. Sure, maybe I would've been safer sticking to a well-lit street, but it's still the mugger's fault I was mugged.

marrog at 2:56PM, Nov. 5, 2012

Maybe there's an issue of perception here regarding what's happening in the comments! LV&DV, there seems to be a need to jump in to observe that while Janey's done a bad thing, it usually takes two to put a relationship on the rocks. I don't think any of 'Team Sarah' (to use the term very loosely) jumped on Janey to demonise or damn J particularly - there just wasn't that strong a reaction. It feels a little as though folk are leaping to defend J from attackers that she doesn't really have. I absolutely sympathise with her position - as I said before, I've been there, I've cheated. I don't think we're in disagreement here that Janey and Sarah have grown apart, aren't giving each other what they need, and that Janey fucked up and cheated.

DarkVisor at 9:10AM, Nov. 5, 2012

Wait, again, how is 'shagging a worst enemy' worse than 'befriending someone's attempted murderer'? Neither me nor LV have said Janey isn't at fault, what we are saying is that Sarah is _not_ complacent in the matter (and it has nothing to do with Claire either, she just happened to be the one willing to be there for Janey, if it wasn't Claire it would have been someone else, but Janey doesn't know very many people)

oldironside at 5:40AM, Nov. 5, 2012

I'm going to make myself unpopular with half the readership here, but I'm of the opinion that Sarah is innocent. If Janey was unhappy with the way things were she could have made this known in a thousand ways that didn't involve shagging Sarah's worst enemy, and in her own bed at that. I'm afraid this is just sympomatic of Janey's childish, selfish me-me-me attitude to life. Anyone who's ever worked in a secondary school will recognise the class attention seeker.

Lunaris Victoria at 11:52PM, Nov. 4, 2012

@didi I haven't tried to make Janey blameless, or give her excuses. I've only said she's not the only one to blame. Her crime was the worst, but she's not the only criminal, and Sarah is not the only victim. I am not saying Claire is at fault above and beyond it all. I'll make it clear...Janey. Fucked. Up. O.o There are, however, no innocent parties involved. It's easy as hell to say 'she should have done this' or 'they should have done that,' but that is illogical thinking at its finest. That is under the assumption that they would think like we would, with the clarity and presence of mind of an outside observer. It's the same way we can groan at the hilariously-and-obviously-wrong choice answered by a game show contestant because, hey, we knew it! We'd have had a million dollars! Thing is...they probably did too. But when you're in the hot seat, it's never that clear or simple. ~Liz

tommym at 6:36PM, Nov. 4, 2012

Dear Sky, I can understand and forgive the first time, both were loney, drinking and got sexualy excited. As comic_didi points out they both kept coming back for more, they knew what they were doing,even if they did not think out the results.Sex is powerful. What must be painful for Sarah is the thought(among others) that Janey found Claire more fun in bed.tommym

tommym at 6:14PM, Nov. 4, 2012

Dear Sky,Very funny, but you are right, Janey likes sex more than Sarah, nothing wrong with that.In hindsight its easy to see the causes of what went wrong. Perhaps Janey should have just came right out and said "I need more of you Sarah both emotionally and sexualy and if you cant fulfill my needs I might go elsewhere" Seems like a threat, but it would have given Sarah the ball so to speak,to decide what to do.Sarah would have a choice, I really do hope they make up. A good relationship needs to be strong to weather the occasional storm. The Keys? Good idea! Sarah can hide the sex toys in the same place. tommym

comic_didi at 6:04PM, Nov. 4, 2012

It's stuck there. Now did Claire maybe use Janey's vulnerability to her own wants? No question. But she's no victim here. She's just as responsible as Claire is. Maybe even more so. Heck, the fact that she kept going back for more meant she knew what she was doing. That's what I think anyway. For me, Sarah gets my sympathy because she was cheated on. That changes everything. You say you're not excusing what Janey did but pointing out the ways Sarah treated her GF bad sounds that way. As for copping to it? Gee, she's stopped lying. Good for her. This isn't what I consider copping to it. Copping to it would be confessing. And now Sarah and the jury has to sit here and wonder... if Janey had never been caught, would she have ever stopped? And that explanation? Seriously? That'd make a good sarcastic question right up there with: "did you trip and land on her vagina/his penis?"

comic_didi at 5:41PM, Nov. 4, 2012

@LV: See... what you say now is something I've tended to have an issue with personally. You see it in the media quite often also. A person catches their significant other with someone else. First thing they do? Go after the homewrecker. And sometimes only the homewrecker. Yeah, you have the SOBs who act knowing totally that their partner is already taken but there are those who have no idea. None. And they go under fire too. Now, Claire is obviously the former but my point is that while you believe most of us are shoving the majority of blame on Janey, I think you might be giving it to Claire. This is gonna sound heartless especially when many affair partners use the same logic to justify their actions but Claire isn't the one who's seeing Sarah. Technically, she owes Sarah nothing. You asked us to see from Janey's perspective once. See through Sarah's eyes now. The other woman may be a vapid bitch but Janey is the heartbreaker. She won't ever unsee Janey in another woman's arms.