Rage Becomes You Friend
Lennybacca on Dec. 5, 2008
Page number 2 yay! (I know there is a lot of words and not enough drawing, but it's essential to the starting of the storyline) Hopefully the next page I do will have a bit more drawing for you all.
Thanks for reading, hope you've enjoyed it!
eched at 6:34PM, Nov. 28, 2010
Once again, too many panels. Keep in mind, I'm only pointing out this stuff cause I want everyone who writes or draws to do the best they can! There's no reason why this one scene couldn't have been spread out across 4 or 5 pages. It's more work yes, but it flows better and reads with more ease. Also, you're jumping inot the plot to fast. Okay, this man is being forced to kill people to save his mom, that's fine, BUT we don't even know if he likes his mom. Granted, he likely loves her just because, BUT it's just as likely that he hates her guts! Many people dislike they're parents. As such, before the mom gets nabbed there has to be a few scenes that show the guy caring for his mom and getting along with her. This gives him the motive needed to kill people to save her life. Right now, because his love for his mom hasn't been stated, it's not clear how he's being pushed to kill for her. You have to show the love for her for a revenge story like this to work. Just saying. But, I'm still interested and I want you to keep at this. :)
Lennybacca at 8:38PM, Dec. 16, 2008
Hopefully I will have a few more pages up over the break for anyone even remotely interested lol